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Old 02-17-2009, 10:16 PM   #1
Xero
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Book the worst possible WrestleMania card.
Current talent plus non-TNA legends only.

Go.

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Old 02-17-2009, 10:22 PM   #2
thedamndest
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I'm assuming they must be alive?
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:23 PM   #3
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Ironman 3 on 1
John Cena vs. Mark Henry, Golddust, Dusty Rhodes

Talent on a Pole
Great Khali vs. Vladimir Koslov

4 out of 7 Falls
Kane vs. Vader

MITB
Iron Sheik vs. Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan vs. Jimmy Snuka vs. Giant Gonzalez vs. Rikishi

There Must Be A Jobber
Kevin Nash vs. HHH
Last edited by Innovator; 02-17-2009 at 10:28 PM.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:24 PM   #4
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KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Is this a "Fantasy" card or "pick the worst matches from all Wrestlemanias and put into one card"?
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:32 PM   #5
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In other words, create Noid's fantasy card.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:33 PM   #6
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There would have to be an IronWoman match in there somewhere. Plus some big involvement from Mark Henry, Kane, Mike Knox and Shad from Cryme Time.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:33 PM   #7
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KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcissus View Post
In other words, create Noid's fantasy card.
Narc, you're wanted in Q & A.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:35 PM   #8
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KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)KYR got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Doug Basham main-eventing with Val Venis in a Pillow Fight would have to be a given then.
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:38 PM   #9
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Triple Cage Match - WWE Championship
Kamala (c) v. Lex Luger

Kennel from Hell Match 2/3 falls (after climbing out, you have to climb back in for the second fall) - World Heavyweight Championship
Greg "The Hammer Valentine v. Kung Fu Naki (c)

1 hold Barred match - there is one hold barred from the match, but it is a secret. To win, you must perform the secret move/hold on your opponent (if it is a hold, you must apply it for 20 seconds)
Rey Mysterio v. Dean Malenko

$25,000 Bodyslam Challenge
William "The Refrigerator" Perry" v. The Great Khali

Five Minute Time Limit - European Championship
Shawn Michaels v. CM Punk

Divas Championship - Ladder Match
Michelle McCool (c) v. Eve Torres

ECW Championship - Inferno Match
Kane (c) v. Chavo Guerrero

The Streak is on the Line!
The Undertaker v. Albert
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:38 PM   #10
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Ashley vs. Candice in a LumberJill IronWoman Match
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:43 PM   #11
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Except my card would be awesome. Anything headlined by Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels can't not be. But anyway, here we go:

* Triple H vs. Vladimir Kozlov for the WWE Championship
* Edge & Vickie Guerrero vs. Randy Orton & Stephanie McMahon for the World Heavyweight Championship
* Jack Swagger vs. The Boogeyman for the ECW Championship
* Shawn Michaels vs. Mike Knox
* The Undertaker vs. Terry Funk
* JBL vs. Ricky Ortiz vs. Mark Henry vs. Festus vs. Big Show vs. Kane in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match
* Jerry Lawler vs. Matt Striker in a Commentator vs. Commentator Match
* Carlito & Primo vs. Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins for the WWE Tag Team Championship
* Melina vs. Kelly Kelly for the Women's Championship
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:43 PM   #12
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Pete Rose vs The Fridge - when 2 HOF'rs Colide!
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:00 PM   #13
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Does Robocop count as a Legend?
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:22 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Know Your Role View Post
Is this a "Fantasy" card or "pick the worst matches from all Wrestlemanias and put into one card"?
Fantasy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thedamndest View Post
Does Robocop count as a Legend?
Of course.
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:29 PM   #15
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Robocop v. The Shockmaster

Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly v. Madusa in a Monster Truck on top of the Roof Challenge Match
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:31 PM   #16
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Is that really a challenge?
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:31 PM   #17
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Grudge Match - In order to win, you must drive to the cemetery and steal your opponent's casket
Big Show v. Big Bossman
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:31 AM   #18
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I like Noid's approach here because it seems like it could be an actual card. I'm gonna try one like that....later.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:36 AM   #19
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Bunny in the Bank Ladder Match (The case contains a contract to pose in Playboy)

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella vs. Eve Torres vs. Michelle McCool vs. Tiffany vs. Candice Michelle
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:39 AM   #20
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You should put that ladder match in a baby pool.
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Old 02-18-2009, 01:01 AM   #21
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WWE Title:
Coal Miner's Glove match:
Kamala(c) vs. Abdullah the Butcher

Bra and Panties Match:
Mae Young vs. Bull Nakano

World Heavyweight Title:
Vladimir Kozlov(c) vs. Great Khali

Celebrity Match:
ShamWOW! Guy vs. Edge (with Billy Mays in his corner) (of course the ShamWOW! guy is going over)

ECW Title Match:
Hornswaggle(c) vs. Todd Grisham

Verbal Debate:
Mike Adamle and Jack Swagger

Handicap Match:
Triple H vs. the Colons, The In Crowd, Cryme Tyme, and Priceless (of course you know who's gonna win)

No restholds or punches allowed match:
John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Money in the Bank:
Zach Gowen vs. Big Show vs. RVD with shoelaces tied together vs. Rey Misterio with mask on backwards

Loser has to live winner's lifestyle for a year match:
CM Punk vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

The match for the Streak:
Undertaker vs. Santino (Santino wins. Clean.)

One Night Brawl For All Tournament with JBL, Bart Gunn, Finlay, William Regal, Ricky Ortiz, Kane, Sid, and Aurora Rose Levesque (of course Aurora wins.)

WWE vs. MMA:
Fedor vs. Shane McMahon (Shane wins by KO in 5 seconds)
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Old 02-18-2009, 01:04 AM   #22
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Chris Benoit vs Mike Awesome: Winner gets to be the real Suicide in TNA.

Great Khali vs Snitsky in a 60 minute Iron Man Match for the WWE Title

Jackie Gayda vs Lita: First diva not to botch a move wins.

Hornswoggle vs Lord Littlebrook in a Slam Dunk Competition for the IC Title

RVD vs Jeff Hardy in a clean urine on a pole match. Winner must get the clean urine to pass a drug test.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Bradshaw in a no clothesline match

Mark Henry and Mae Young Hand that she gave birth to vs Kane and Katie Vick's corpse for the Tag Team Titles.
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Old 02-18-2009, 01:30 AM   #23
DaveWadding
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Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango
IC Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels (c)
The Steiner Brothers vs. The Headshrinkers
Doink the Clown vs. Crush
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. (c) vs. The Mega-Maniacs
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
WWF Championship: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart (c)
WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna (c)
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:30 AM   #24
CYCLOPTERSAURUS
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CYCLOPTERSAURUS is "reptacular" (2,500+)CYCLOPTERSAURUS is "reptacular" (2,500+)CYCLOPTERSAURUS is "reptacular" (2,500+)
Using the current roster and current champions.

WWE Championship
Triple H vs Kizarny

Iron Man Match
JTG vs Manu

World Heavyweight Championship
Edge vs Jesse

Vince Mcmahon vs Charlie Haas

Dolph Ziggler vs Sim Snuka

WWE Tag Team Championship
Carlito and Primo vs Kung Fu Naki and The Undertaker

Ezekial Jackson vs Zack Ryder

ECW Championship
Jack Swagger vs Hornswoggle

Submission Match
Goldust vs JBL

US Championship
Shelton Benjamin vs Jim Ross

TLC Match
Mark Henry vs Boogeyman

Raw vs ECW Interpromotional Match
Ricky Ortiz vs Mike Knox

Great Khali vs Ryan Braddock

John Cena and Randy Orton vs Rosa Mendes and Hacksaw Jim Duggan
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Old 02-18-2009, 02:54 AM   #25
Kane86
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Kane86 has done some stupid things
The Brooklyn Brawler needs to be in one.................

Hell in a Cell on a ladder (yeah its how it sounds)
WWF LEGENDS WORLD HEAVYWIEHT TV EUROPEAN WORLD TITLE MATCH. (1 time
only exclusive title career title vs ex-wife)

Hulk Hogan vs The Brooklyn Brawler(c)

Hows that for fucking gimmick match...............
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Old 02-18-2009, 04:03 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CYCLOPTERSAURUS View Post
John Cena and Randy Orton vs Rosa Mendes and Hacksaw Jim Duggan
I am seriously still laughing while picturing the promos leading up to this match. Can't stop.
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Old 02-18-2009, 06:20 AM   #27
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WHC: Big Daddy (C) V vs. Khali - Ironman Match

WWE Championship: Snitsky (C) vs. Koslov - Submission Match

IC Title: Zeus (C) vs. Tugboat

US Title: Giant Gonzales (C) vs. Festus - Scaffold Match

Vinnie Vegas vs. Mean Mark Callous

Undertaker vs. Kevin Nash

Zach Gowan vs. Gillberg - Cage Match

Goldust vs. Bogen - TLC Match

WWE Tag Team Title: Warrior/Renegade vs. Hogan/Swagger
Last edited by Tazz Dan; 02-18-2009 at 06:41 AM.
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:49 AM   #28
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WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

"Finally the oriental dream has come true!"

World Heavyweight Champion "The Rated R Superstar" Edge vs. "The Cinderella Man" Jimmy Yang Wang.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

"The champ has the roids and the challenger has the worms!"

WWE Champion Triple-H vs. The Boogeyman.

ECW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

"Tony is back and he's spoilin' for a fight"

ECW Champion Christian vs. Tony Chimel.

YO MOMMA with special guest refree Wilmer Valderrama.

Ron "R-Truth" Killings vs. John "Wigga" Cena

"Money in the Bank" Match

The Great Khali vs. Mike Knox vs. Mark Henry vs. The Big Show vs. Festus vs. Jackson.

Undertaker's streak is on the line

" And after all these battles at Wrestlemania, the Undertaker faces his toughest challenge till date. "

The Undertaker vs. Jamie Noble.
Last edited by GD; 02-18-2009 at 08:52 AM.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:37 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveWadding View Post
Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango
IC Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels (c)
The Steiner Brothers vs. The Headshrinkers
Doink the Clown vs. Crush
Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. (c) vs. The Mega-Maniacs
Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect
The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
WWF Championship: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart (c)
WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna (c)
Winner.

I found it pretty hilarious that the WWE was airing videos promotion this WrestleMania on RAW.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:59 AM   #30
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Anyway, since my cards are pretty awful, I'm just going to go give it another shot:

Elimination Chamber for the undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Triple H vs. Edge vs. Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Kofi Kingston

Winner: Triple H

ECW Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

Winner: The Undertaker

WWE Tri-Brand Cup
Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Special Challenge
Chris Jericho vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Winner: Chris Jericho

Brother vs. Brother
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Winner: Matt Hardy

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jack Swagger vs. Umaga vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kane vs. R-Truth vs. Jamie Noble, BOY!

Winner: Shelton Benjamin

WWE Intercontinental Championship
CM Punk vs. Kane

Winner: CM Punk

WWE United States Championship
MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy

Winner: Mr. Kennedy

Tag Team Match for the undisputed WWE World Tag Team Championship
John Morrison & The Miz vs. Carlito & Primo Colon

Winners: John Morrison & The Miz

Gimmick Battle Royal II
The Great Khali vs. Steve Blackman vs. Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Skinner vs. Norman Smiley vs. Dancin' Lance Storm vs. Val Venis vs. Kung Fu Naki vs. Sgt. Slaughter vs. Irwin R. Shyster vs. Goldust vs. The Godfather vs. The Gobbeldy Gooker vs. The Boogeyman vs. DJ Gabriel vs. Beaver Cleavage vs. Doink the Clown vs. The Goon vs. Repo Man vs. The Brooklyn Brawler

Winner: The Great Khali

Golden Dreams Gauntlet for the undisputed WWE Women's Championship
All the Divas compete

First Round Winners: Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Natalya, Mickie James
Overall Winner: Beth Phoenix

That last one might need some explaining, because it is Russorific. You start with every girl in the company, but in each corner there is an erected pole (choice of words perfectly intentional). On each pole is a star, and each woman who takes down a star survives to the next round: A sudden death Fatal Four-Way to crown the new and improved WWE Women's Champion.
Last edited by Mr. Nerfect; 02-18-2009 at 10:03 AM.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:17 PM   #31
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I’ll top you all, Russo style.

First off, it is announced that the draft that will occur the week after WrestleMania will be a complete re-draft of the rosters, and that there will be only one World Champion, one set of Tag Champions, and one Women’s Champion – all of those titles float. The ECW Title, Intercontinental Title, and United States Titles will all remain frozen to their shows.

Our opening bout is a 60-Man World War 3-style battle royal with championship implications. Participants include:

Carlito, Charlie Haas, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Christian, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Curt Hawkins, DJ Gabriel, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Ezekiel Jackson, Festus, Finlay, Goldust, Hurricane Helms, Jack Swagger, Jamie Noble, JBL, Jeff Hardy, Jesse, Jim Duggan, John Morrison, JTG, Kane, Kizarny, Kofi Kingston, Kung Fu Naki, Jimmy Wang Yang, Manu, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, Mike Knox, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Paul Burchill, Primo, R-Truth, Rey Mysterio, Ricky Ortiz, Ryan Braddock, Santino Marella, Scotty Goldman, Shad, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Sim Snuka, Ted DiBiase, The Big Show, The Boogeyman, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, The Miz, The Undertaker, Tommy Dreamer, Tyson Kidd, Umaga, Vladimir Kozlov, William Regal, and Zack Ryder

Once we get to 20 men remaining, they all merge into one ring – and that’s where it gets confusing:
-The first 2 eliminated (whether they or friends or enemies) will receive a future tag title match together. The next 3 eliminated get US, IC, and ECW title shots, respectively.
-Then, the next 5 eliminations determine the tag champions (again, regardless of whether or not they even like each other), US, IC, and ECW champions.
-The next 8 eliminations are all inserted into the Money in the Bank Ladder Match later on in the evening.
-The match ends with 2 men left, who are the final two participants in yet another Elimination Chamber match for the merged World Title.

We throw in a Melina/Maryse Women’s Title unification match with all of the other divas outside the ring to serve as lumberjills. Solely there to give the guys a break.

From there we go to the 8 man MITB ladder match…and then the main event EC that involves the 2 battle royal winners, WWE Champion Triple H, World Heavyweight Champion Edge, Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton, and John Cena (cashing in on his mandatory World Heavyweight Title rematch).

Can’t be bothered to come up with who wins all the title shots, titles, MITB spots, etc…except I will say that Undertaker ends up one of the BR winners and he wins the title...then Kane (who won MITB) comes out and wins the title for him, ending Taker's streak as the fans collectively vomit to end the show.
---

There you go, WrestleMania as booked by Vince Russo.
Last edited by Evil Vito; 02-18-2009 at 12:28 PM.
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:18 PM   #32
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Big Vito's attempt there is pretty impressive.
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:56 PM   #33
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The Allied Powers (Lex Luger and The British Bulldog) vs. The Blu Brothers
IC Title: Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett (c)
The Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy
Tag Titles: Owen Hart and Yokozuna vs. The Smoking Gunns (c)
"I Quit" match: Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund
WWF Championship: Diesel (c) vs. Shawn Michaels
Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:57 PM   #34
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St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)St. Jimmy got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WrestleMania_23
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