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Old 03-01-2009, 03:51 PM   #1
Xero
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SmackDown! Captions - 02/27/09

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Old 03-01-2009, 03:52 PM   #2
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Smark: I'm going to watch SmackDown! tonight. At least Cena won't be *flip*................................................... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-


-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-


-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKK!
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Old 03-01-2009, 03:57 PM   #3
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The Ref wanted to be Hulk Hogan, but he left his orange tanning oil at home.


Kozlov didn't understand the concept of the Camel Clutch.


Jeff Hardy - Dyke About Town
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Old 03-01-2009, 06:39 PM   #4
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MVP's failed attempt at using Shelton Benjamin as a marionette.
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:03 PM   #5
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Kozlov:
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:11 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Exyle View Post

Kozlov:
rotf
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:14 PM   #7
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In an effort to reduce lawsuits by disabled people....WWE has hired a deaf Cameraman to sign while filming a match.
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:48 AM   #8
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)


John Cena decides to let his imaginary friend cut a promo for him.



Most people would have a little difficulty wrestling with another man's head lodged up their rectum, but then, Primo wasn't most people.



Tragedy struck when an unsuspecting fan opened the airlock door, and the two wrestlers were sucked into the vacuum of space.



Thankfully, Carlito was able to activate his magnetic boots and pull himself up to the ceiling.



Taker took Kozlov's threat of a purple-nurple very seriously.



Vladimir lives up to his Romanian namesake by baring his fangs, and taking a huge bite into Taker's neck.



There's a long and complicated story as to how Taker's foot got glued to Kozlov's face, but it's best to not get into it right now.



Everything had been going the Undertaker's way until he stepped on that banana peel Kozlov left on the apron.



Taker's new "human bean-bag chair" gimmick wasn't quite getting over like they had hoped.



It's nice to see WWE is letting the homeless wrestle.



I don't know who keeps clowning around with the airlock, but they'd better stop.



John Cena carries out a daring rescue, swinging down from his invisible helicopter to pull Big Show to safety.



Big Show catches Cena off-guard with an Ultimo Dragon style springboard moonsault.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:23 AM   #9
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YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN!!!!
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:24 AM   #10
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Big Show's version of the Canadian Destroyer.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:38 AM   #11
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Jeff: I am telling you Matt, Shawty's boobies were this low.



Shelton: No no Chavo! USA is that side.



PG BUTTSEX TIME!
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:54 AM   #12
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The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Hardy Family Problems - Episode One: Sandcastle



Jeff: Matt, this has eaten me up inside for too long now. I have to clear my conscience. When I was five...I destroyed your sand castle while you swam in the sea...



Matt: Matt Manor? It was you?!!



Matt: You said it was an Octopus? You bastard! *SMACK* I've hunted for that octopus for years!



Matt: Damnit Jeff, all those months out alone at sea!

Jeff: I deserved that...

CUE THEME MUSIC
Last edited by The Mackem; 03-02-2009 at 07:56 AM.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:58 AM   #13
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Classic shit Mackhem! Good one.
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Old 03-02-2009, 08:31 AM   #14
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The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Mackem got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Vickie Guerrero: Master Magician



Vickie: Before we begin, this is my beatiful blonde haired assistant - Edge. Now Cena, oh my God what is that behind you?


Cena: Over there?



Vickie: Yeah John, quick before it gets you!!

Edge: Oh my GOD!


Cena: Ok guys but you better not be messing with me



Smug Vickie: It's MAGIC!



Cena: She be a witch or something?!!!
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:44 PM   #15
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Jeff: I am telling you brother Matt, I did have sexual intercourse with Amy.



Matt: PICS OR GTFO!
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:45 PM   #16
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MVP prepares to give Shelton surprise buttsecks. EDIT: Dammit Guru Dave!




Ref: Can I get in on the "Point to a douche" gimmick?


Ref: Please???




Left Twin: Carlito did that to you?
Right Twin: Yup.
Left Twin: Damn, I picked the wrong brother.




Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
The drug rumors started again as Jeff Hardy stumbles down the ramp... as the ring is being taken apart... in the Impact Zone.
Again.
Last edited by parkmania; 03-02-2009 at 05:40 PM.
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Old 03-03-2009, 03:35 AM   #17
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Narrator: Last time on Dragon Ball 'E! MVP spent the entire episode powering up a Spirit Bomb! Only there were two balls of energy instead of one; because he's straight up, ballin', yo.



Narrator: And two unlikely allies joined forces to defeat the evil forces of evil!

John Cena: Fu...



MVP: ...sion



John Cena and MVP: HA!

*Poof*

Female on Left: Whoa, that ain't right. Better try the earrings.

Female on Right: Speak for yourself!

Narrator: Tonight! On DRAGON...BALL...'E!:





I swear, Cena, by the end of this night, I'll have taught you a lesson.



Vickie Guerrero: And why is he going to achieve that? Because he's "Orlando By Weeknight's MPI -- Most Published Individual -- 2009."

Edge: And how do you get such great heat again?



John Cena just realised that someone editted his shirt so it says "HIR," an attemptive play on the word "her," and a rib on his sexuality by one of the guys.

John Cena: Jesus Christ...even I am funny than that. Poopy.



Making the women wait outside, while doing the splits over another male? I swear -- wrestling isn't gay.



Aaron Mahoney: I swear, man -- her tits...*groaning noise as he air fondles*

The Miz: Yes! Yes! Tell me more!



Aaron Mahoney: ...And then she grabbed my penis like this, and stretched!

Primo: What the fuck, man?!?! We're trying to work a match here!



Carlito's new raver gimmick ended in tragedy, where he got mesmerised by the pretty lights near the titantron, and didn't bother to fully rotate on his back suplex counter.



John Morrison proved once and for all how awesome he is, by casually resting by one arm on the top rope and still managing to beat Primo.



The Colons may have lost the match via pinfall, but they still retained the titles based on having complimenting attire. I swear, wrestling isn't gay.



Carlito revealed the sad psychology truth behind his Backstabber finisher...a long insecure battle with backne.



Vladimir Kozlov may not be undefeated anymore, but he still has his left nipple hair to get him heat.

Crowd: WAX YOUR NIPPLES! *Clap-clap, clap-clap-clap*



Charles Robinson realises the horror of what could be if The Undertaker boots anymore talent out of Vladimir Kozlov.



Gee, cameraman, now might not be the best time to motion to Vladimir Kozlov that you love him.



It was sort of out of character for Vladimir Kozlov to slap his boots mid-match and point out that they are pretty because they have a star on them.



Yes, it was the best match Vladimir Kozlov had ever had, but it was also The Undertaker's worst.



This is your idea of a threesome? I swear -- wrestling isn't gay.



Matt Hardy: Jeff, I haven't even slapped you yet. And you're moving your face the wrong way! INSIDE CRADLE!



Jeff Hardy actually got massive heat for walking in front of the screen showing a massive game of Space Invaders.



Matt Hardy: I am evil heel. Grrr! *clenches fists*



Jeff Hardy: But don't you see, you really hurt my feelings.

Nope, wrestling = not gay.



Matt Hardy's heel turn wasn't going exactly as expected.

Matt: Pull my finger...



Jeff Hardy: ...Oh God! That is fucking putrid!

Matt Hardy: And that's why they call me "The Black Cloud."

Jeff Hardy: Fuck man, see a doctor.



Coming out sweaty before your match starts? I swear -- wrestling REALLY isn't gay.



Most agree that Chavo Guerrero's new "Art Warr" gimmick was even more disrespectful to Art Barr than his "Kerwin White" gimmick was to the Guerrero family.



Shelton Benjamin forced Chavo Guerrero to look at a picture of himself from six years ago, and to Chavo's horror, his hair did fall out.



Marty Elias: And Big Foot was all walking across when the picture was taken -- like this...

Chavo Guerrero: Fuck man, give it a rest, please. That shit is how many years ago?



Marty Elias: FUCK YOU, CHAVO! FUCK YOU FOR TALKING SHIT ABOUT MY BIG FOOT IMPERSONATION! FUCK YOU, AND FUCK EVERYTHING!!!

Crowd:



Two adult males realising their love for each other, and then proceeding to make love on the announce table? Truthfully, wrestling isn't gay!



Tazz has been dropping acid before the show, so he naturally freaked out when he thought Chavo Guerrero's boots -- which he believed to literally be on fire -- came his way.



Shelton Benjamin: Didn't avoid getting kicked in the face by *that* much...

MVP: Die, bitch!



Big Show forced John Cena to look at a picture of himself six years ago, and to Cena's horror, he did become good.



And you heard Vladimir Kozlov botched the snake eyes...these guys weren't even in the ring!



Big Show: I used to be able to do a moonsault! I swear!

John Cena: Well, fuck, man! Now's not the time to try again!



Big Show: Is that good?

John Cena: Oh, yeah! That's the spot!

Chad Patton: *Groans* Fuck yeah.

WRESTLING...IS...NOT...GAY!



John Cena: OK, you had a turn, well now it's mine. Moonsault! Oh fuck!

Big Show: You're a dick.



Thank God! Someone finally had the brains to hit the self-destruct button on Cena's belt buckle! Who would have thought it would be Big Show?

If you thought this was going to be a "wrestling is not gay" caption, by the way, I feel sorry for you. There is no way this could possibly be misconstrued as being gay. Because wrestling is not gay.



Big Show: I told you I could do a moonsault!

John Cena: Dude, I'm flipping you forward...you're doing nothing.

Big Show: Don't make me moonsault you, bitch!



Alright, the Knockout Punch I could believe, but the Finger Puppet Death Ray?



*Teaches lesson*

Edge: ...And that's why you always leave a note.
Last edited by Mr. Nerfect; 03-03-2009 at 03:39 AM.
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