RAW Captions [2/2/04]

[loopydate]

Mark got distracted when he noticed that he'd left three little pellets uneaten. No wonder he couldn't eat this stupid ghost!



Mark Henry hated Ric Flair soooooo much. Now he managed to convince Benoit that VICTORIA was making a monster, too!



ORTON: Holy shit! I hit a grizzly with my car!



FAN IN PENN STATE SHIRT: Dammit, Rico, stop clenching...



Rico only had one shot. He had to grab Rene's flux capacitor kneepads and go back to before he got put in this hold. Now, where would he come up with 1.21 jigawatts?



RENE: Hey! That branch has an ass!



Stacy made a brutal heel turn when she removed Jackie's neck.



EARL: Okay, if I'm a teapot, what are you?
TRISH: A toaster?



Glen "Woman For A Head" Jacobs breaks out another new gimmick.



Ahhhh. A finely-crafted Canadian vase. Part of the HGA collection, if I'm not mistaken.



KANE: Hah! Got your beard!
BILL: NUH!



Glen "Mood Ring" Jacobs was obviously sad.



MATT: You do realize the phrase "One, two, three, can you dig it" is in your song, right?
BOOKER: *Sob* Yeah... They drove a dumptruck full of money up to my house! I'm not made of stone!



Booker tries in vain to help Hardy from being the latest invisible crucifixion.



ORTON: So, wait, Hunter used to carry YOUR bags?



SPIKE: Who are you, and why did you eat Triple H?
HHHUTT: Bo shuda!



HHH (thinking): Hmm...Tiger Driver, Tigerbomb, Honor Roll...so many good moves I could do out of this...all of which would require me to exert energy.
JR: BAH GAWD PEDIGREE!



Chris Benoit proves that "Sharpshooter" isn't just a move in his arsenal when he wings HHH from the rafters.



AUSTIN: Brother Bill, have you heard the Good Word?
BILL: Guwuh?
AUSTIN: Um...just take my card.



Y2J & EARL: Oh, hey! A quarter!



RIC: Hey, that's a nice Moonwalk!



RANDY: Y'know, Shawn, I really enjoy all this time we're spending together...
HBK: Dude, get your hand off my shoulder.



Austin and the ring do their impression of President Bush and a hedge. The referee is pretending to be an open beer.



ORTON: Hunter, why? I thought I was your friend!
HBK: You're fine. He hasn't nailed your feet yet.



MICHAELS: What's the Evil Council's plan, Chris?
CHRIS: It is EVIL, it is so EVIL. It is a bad, bad plan, which will hurt many... people... who are good. I think it's great that it's so bad!
MUSHUFASA: "Stars above." Was I right, or what?



CHRIS: Say, Shawn...have you ever met Rhyno?



HBK: Wait, he's not the guy who was wearing the "ECW Champion/WWE Jobber" t-shirt, is he?