SmackDown! Captions [1-20-2006]

**Corkscrewed** · 01-25-2006, 03:55 AM

Due to time constraints, I haven't read any of the others, and I won't be able to provide my usual list of faves. Sorry, Pat.

KURT: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... don't speak. Just rub that schlong down my thigh...

Iranian boots were always the hardest to steal.

Oh yeah, the Axe Effect was working quite well for Kurt.

Thank you for the view, oh god of wrestling.

Unfortunately for Kurt, he'd accidentally put on Axe for Apes as well.

Mark Henry's real life game of Tetris took a devastating turn when he tried to fit the 'L' piece into the straight four block 'Kurt' piece.

"The winner and NEW ugliest ape in the world!!!!!!!!"

As much as he tried, Rey could never get the Mark Henry ATV to work right.

Mark Henry tried to save Rey from yet another Lashley Snare Trap, but to little avail.

Yet another example of cleaning the glass ceiling with Cruisers. Moving on...

Leave it to Henry to botch selling the right part of the body.

HENRY: Ow! What gives?!
REY: Sorry, Teddy Long's orders. 'Kick that man in the ass.'

The day at the zoo ended violently when Rey learned the hard way why you don't climb into the animal cage to feed the apes.

Rey puts new meaning to "Guillotine Leg Drop."

Seconds later, the lava engulfed Booker T and his wife, setting the stage for his new reincarnation: Darth Booker.

It wasn't just that Booker had left the oven on. It was that Booker had left the oven on and now it was charging at him angrily down the arena ramp.

Not even Orlando Jordan's new Bisexual Vampire gimmick could save his career.

OJ: "LASHLEY!!!!!!!"

The best part for Orton was that he could defecate on Jordan and no one would ever notice!

ORTON: 'Time to hit the dropki--OOH! A penny!'

Booker T tried his best to stop God from interfering, but his aluminum crutch was little match for the holy energy of the Lord.

Benoit: He'll chop your granny bra right off your chest.

Tragedy struck when Benoit accidentally pulled a "Kano Wins... Fatality" on Orton.

Sexiest. Salonpas saleswoman. Ever.

Here as we look into the southern sky, we can see the famous Dark Hoss Nebula, famed for its beauty and amazing resemblance to a generic huge professional wrestler.

It required wasting a smokescreen, but Lashley got JBL to walk right into his trap.

NICK PATRICK: Oh.... my.... gawd.....!

There must be a million pebbles on that beach!

(rep for the reference... hint: it's not a movie)

Rafiki was back! And man had he bulked up!

Finlay's reputation wasn't helped when he stopped in the middle of the match to engage in a 69.

Why you should never challenge an Irishman to a drunk wrestling contest.

It wasn't long before Finlay experienced the first rib veterans did to newcomers: dropping random midcarders onto them.

It was most kind for Finlay to tuck Matt Hardy to bed that night.

No caption, but if he wanted to look hardass, couldn't he have at least used a chair? Or a rock?

Afterwards, the WWE fashion consultant was shot for failure to do his job.

"What do you mean we've been enlisted to become the Undertaker's Druids?"

A little known fact: whistle-blowing was a subtle way of practicing for Vince in order to keep your job.

KENDRICK: More! Goldberg clones! We must! Stop them!!!

The Gymini were hardly impressed by London's mid-air syncronized swimming routine, and quickly pulled him back down.

01-25-2006, 03:55 AM	#30
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	Due to time constraints, I haven't read any of the others, and I won't be able to provide my usual list of faves. Sorry, Pat. KURT: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... don't speak. Just rub that schlong down my thigh... Iranian boots were always the hardest to steal. Oh yeah, the Axe Effect was working quite well for Kurt. Thank you for the view, oh god of wrestling. Unfortunately for Kurt, he'd accidentally put on Axe for Apes as well. Mark Henry's real life game of Tetris took a devastating turn when he tried to fit the 'L' piece into the straight four block 'Kurt' piece. "The winner and NEW ugliest ape in the world!!!!!!!!" As much as he tried, Rey could never get the Mark Henry ATV to work right. Mark Henry tried to save Rey from yet another Lashley Snare Trap, but to little avail. Yet another example of cleaning the glass ceiling with Cruisers. Moving on... Leave it to Henry to botch selling the right part of the body. HENRY: Ow! What gives?! REY: Sorry, Teddy Long's orders. 'Kick that man in the ass.' The day at the zoo ended violently when Rey learned the hard way why you don't climb into the animal cage to feed the apes. Rey puts new meaning to "Guillotine Leg Drop." Seconds later, the lava engulfed Booker T and his wife, setting the stage for his new reincarnation: Darth Booker. It wasn't just that Booker had left the oven on. It was that Booker had left the oven on and now it was charging at him angrily down the arena ramp. Not even Orlando Jordan's new Bisexual Vampire gimmick could save his career. OJ: "LASHLEY!!!!!!!" The best part for Orton was that he could defecate on Jordan and no one would ever notice! ORTON: 'Time to hit the dropki--OOH! A penny!' Booker T tried his best to stop God from interfering, but his aluminum crutch was little match for the holy energy of the Lord. Benoit: He'll chop your granny bra right off your chest. Tragedy struck when Benoit accidentally pulled a "Kano Wins... Fatality" on Orton. Sexiest. Salonpas saleswoman. Ever. Here as we look into the southern sky, we can see the famous Dark Hoss Nebula, famed for its beauty and amazing resemblance to a generic huge professional wrestler. It required wasting a smokescreen, but Lashley got JBL to walk right into his trap. NICK PATRICK: Oh.... my.... gawd.....! There must be a million pebbles on that beach! (rep for the reference... hint: it's not a movie) Rafiki was back! And man had he bulked up! Finlay's reputation wasn't helped when he stopped in the middle of the match to engage in a 69. Why you should never challenge an Irishman to a drunk wrestling contest. It wasn't long before Finlay experienced the first rib veterans did to newcomers: dropping random midcarders onto them. It was most kind for Finlay to tuck Matt Hardy to bed that night. No caption, but if he wanted to look hardass, couldn't he have at least used a chair? Or a rock? Afterwards, the WWE fashion consultant was shot for failure to do his job. "What do you mean we've been enlisted to become the Undertaker's Druids?" A little known fact: whistle-blowing was a subtle way of practicing for Vince in order to keep your job. KENDRICK: More! Goldberg clones! We must! Stop them!!! The Gymini were hardly impressed by London's mid-air syncronized swimming routine, and quickly pulled him back down.