Raw is SCREW UP!!!! (guest host spoilers) How would you do it?

[FourFifty]

No, no, no, I'm not talking about how Denis Miller called Triple H "The Show."

So, let me see if I have this right...
Earlier tonight Vince asked if the crowd was dead because of their lack of response (or something that that effect) and then later on they say the next guest host, when they're in Florida (at least I'm pretty sure they're in Florida), is hosted by a New York baseball player?

In the book Controversy Creates Cash The Bisch says that the fans are watching three things. One wrestler (or team), the other wrestler (or team) and the live crowd.
You would think that the man who revolutionized the entire fucking industry would understand this, right? The guy that says "if a wrestler trips over a camera cable it was meant to happen" (or something to that effect) books a guy from New York to host a Florida Raw, which will look like SHIT on live tv?
If Denis Miller hosted Raw in LA, Chicago, or New York the fans would be off the hook. But, no, they did it in Fuck of all Texas. Hell, not even The Undertaker got a good response.

So, Vince comes up to you, and says you get to book 10 guest hosts in 10 cities.... How would you book who, where, and why?

I'll do my answers tomorrow morning when I'm slightly more with it, and a lot more sober.