Star Wars Blu-Ray - Changes Announced

**Tom Guycott** · 09-03-2011, 05:10 AM

As long as Lucas is continually trolling his bread 'n butter, he may as well just:

- dub out any blaster in all 6 movies and make them flashlights and walkie-talkies, a la "E.T."

- remove the Wilhelm Scream from every movie.

- splice in some newly CG'd and re-purposed exposition to invalidate the "independent contractor" argument about the Death Star II from the movie Clerks, and do so using the Han/Jabba scene- only shooping in two stormtroopers instead of Han/Jabba*.

- add the "DO NOT WANT!!!" subtitle to the added dialogue of that Palpatinie/Luke/Vader climax scene, as well as making a documentary on the meme it has become in the inevetable "Special Features" section.

- make every instance of Slave Leia dressed more conservatively. Some space version of a birka or something. Yeah.

- add 23 more minutes of pod racing.

- ... to EVERY MOVIE.

- add "Yakkety Sax" to the score over every embarassing death of every "bad ass" in the series (namely, Darth Maul, Mace Windu, and Boba Fett).

- one more slapdash expositon explaining that Hayden Christiansen didn't REALLY kill all those kids. You know, like the offscreen "he's okay and gonna live" business from the G.I. Joe (cartoon) movie.

*I just now saw that if you say that aloud, it sounds like "Handjob". It wasn't on purpose, but now that I see it, I'm not changing it!

09-03-2011, 05:10 AM	#12
Tom Guycott Wrestling Marks Rejoice! Posts: 10,166	As long as Lucas is continually trolling his bread 'n butter, he may as well just: - dub out any blaster in all 6 movies and make them flashlights and walkie-talkies, a la "E.T." - remove the Wilhelm Scream from every movie. - splice in some newly CG'd and re-purposed exposition to invalidate the "independent contractor" argument about the Death Star II from the movie Clerks, and do so using the Han/Jabba scene- only shooping in two stormtroopers instead of Han/Jabba. - add the "DO NOT WANT!!!" subtitle to the added dialogue of that Palpatinie/Luke/Vader climax scene, as well as making a documentary on the meme it has become in the inevetable "Special Features" section. - make every instance of Slave Leia dressed more conservatively. Some space version of a birka or something. Yeah. - add 23 more minutes of pod racing. - ... to EVERY MOVIE. - add "Yakkety Sax" to the score over every embarassing death of every "bad ass" in the series (namely, Darth Maul, Mace Windu, and Boba Fett). - one more slapdash expositon explaining that Hayden Christiansen didn't REALLY* kill all those kids. You know, like the offscreen "he's okay and gonna live" business from the G.I. Joe (cartoon) movie. *I just now saw that if you say that aloud, it sounds like "Handjob". It wasn't on purpose, but now that I see it, I'm not changing it!