SMACKDOWN! Captions (9.1.2005)

**loopydate** · 09-02-2005, 06:11 PM

In the grand tradition of wrestling pranksters, no one was safe from... Melina Perez, tickle monster!

JOEY: I can't...

HEIDENREICH: You can! Look at the SVR 2006 roster!

JOEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

COLE: Irish whip by M--

[Thunk!]

TAZZ: It's the Glass Wall, Cole!

Heidenreich applies the scientific principle to Nancy Sinatra's classic "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" with his thesis entitled "If I take one boot off, will she just spin around in circles?"

JOEY: Um... Should we stop?

JOHNNY: No, he said to keep doing it until he heroically threw us off.

JOEY: I think he's really hurt.

[Johnny stomps.]

JOEY: Hey!

KENNEDY: ...Kennedy!

CHIMEL: Oh, man... Where's a grassy knoll when you need one?

Booker just couldn't stand Kennedy introducing himself as being from "Walla Walla! ... Walla Walla!"

KENNEDY: SPACE CAMP ROCKS!

POWERMAN 5000: And this is what it's like when midcarders collide!

SHARMELL: I'm sorry, baby. What can I do to make it better?

BOOKER: Ugh... You can start by taking your knee off my balls.

BENOIT: THIS IS FOR ALFALFA!

VINCE: Heh. You thought winning it in less than thirty seconds was something...

SYLVAIN: Anyone who remembers who I am, raise your hand. Anyone?

HOLLY: So. You're the new guy with the gay gimmick, right? Well, Vince sent me out here to make sure that it's...believable.

SIMON: That's right! With the new Simon System, you can drink an entire gallon of milk in less than an hour without thr--

BATISTA: [Vomits]

BATISTA: Hey, didn't you used to be over?

SIMON: Dave's so mean! Rocket pogo stick awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Not surprisingly, WWE received thousands of angry letters for the "Simon Dean prays to Mecca" segment (despite the fact that Batista seemed to think it was a-okay!).

FUNAKI: Word to the wise. If Vince can exploit your nationality, let him do it. You'll stay around longer.

REF: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

FUNAKI: Uh... Numba one announca! Indeed!

Try as he might, those cookies just weren't coming out.

Not surprisingly, Vader found Rey's lack of faith disturbing.

It's WWE Chicken Fighting! Stevie Richards and his partner, Rey Mysterio versus Randy Orton and his partner...Stevie Richards!

RANDY: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great privilege that I introduce Tex, the Narcoleptic Cowboy!

TEX: ...

RANDY: DAMMIT!

BOB: No no no! If you're going to punch out the invisible giant, you need to aim higher!

EDDIE: Whoa. Flashback.

09-02-2005, 06:11 PM	#1
loopydate FIT Challenge Slag People Posts: 13,816	In the grand tradition of wrestling pranksters, no one was safe from... Melina Perez, tickle monster! JOEY: I can't... HEIDENREICH: You can! Look at the SVR 2006 roster! JOEY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE: Irish whip by M-- [Thunk!] TAZZ: It's the Glass Wall, Cole! Heidenreich applies the scientific principle to Nancy Sinatra's classic "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" with his thesis entitled "If I take one boot off, will she just spin around in circles?" JOEY: Um... Should we stop? JOHNNY: No, he said to keep doing it until he heroically threw us off. JOEY: I think he's really hurt. [Johnny stomps.] JOEY: Hey! KENNEDY: ...Kennedy! CHIMEL: Oh, man... Where's a grassy knoll when you need one? Booker just couldn't stand Kennedy introducing himself as being from "Walla Walla! ... Walla Walla!" KENNEDY: SPACE CAMP ROCKS! POWERMAN 5000: And this is what it's like when midcarders collide! SHARMELL: I'm sorry, baby. What can I do to make it better? BOOKER: Ugh... You can start by taking your knee off my balls. BENOIT: THIS IS FOR ALFALFA! VINCE: Heh. You thought winning it in less than thirty seconds was something... SYLVAIN: Anyone who remembers who I am, raise your hand. Anyone? HOLLY: So. You're the new guy with the gay gimmick, right? Well, Vince sent me out here to make sure that it's...believable. SIMON: That's right! With the new Simon System, you can drink an entire gallon of milk in less than an hour without thr-- BATISTA: [Vomits] BATISTA: Hey, didn't you used to be over? SIMON: Dave's so mean! Rocket pogo stick awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Not surprisingly, WWE received thousands of angry letters for the "Simon Dean prays to Mecca" segment (despite the fact that Batista seemed to think it was a-okay!). FUNAKI: Word to the wise. If Vince can exploit your nationality, let him do it. You'll stay around longer. REF: WHAT DID YOU SAY? FUNAKI: Uh... Numba one announca! Indeed! Try as he might, those cookies just weren't coming out. Not surprisingly, Vader found Rey's lack of faith disturbing. It's WWE Chicken Fighting! Stevie Richards and his partner, Rey Mysterio versus Randy Orton and his partner...Stevie Richards! RANDY: Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great privilege that I introduce Tex, the Narcoleptic Cowboy! TEX: ... RANDY: DAMMIT! BOB: No no no! If you're going to punch out the invisible giant, you need to aim higher! EDDIE: Whoa. Flashback. Last edited by loopydate; 09-02-2005 at 07:09 PM.