WWE RAW Captions [3-8-2004] - Page 2

**Azriel** · 03-10-2004, 01:50 PM

I've got to say, you guys rocked with the captions. And *bows the **** down to Lammy* The master has returned.

**Iceman90** · 03-10-2004, 10:43 PM

Here are my captions:

Kane: Oh great powerful Oz, I would like you to give me a world title shot.

Oz (Kane's face): Sorry. Not even I can get Triple H to lay on his back for anyone except Stephanie and Vince.

Kane: How nice. Hunter passed out this new CAREER SAVER potion. The directions say take 1 cup daily and you will be buried in no time.

After Kane read what the Internet fans were saying about him, he destorys his computer and its desk.

Vince McMahon tries to cash in on a new trend. XAI (Xtreme American Idol). All the real contestants are pantywaists. Who Here we see Stone Cold singing his song "Drunk Again", and the words are on the TitanTron so the fans can join in.

Shawn: So we have a deal?
Benoit: Yep. 3 some with Hunter tonight.
Shawn: See you at 10 pm.

The 4th face of Foley...Surfer Bob!

It seems Gary Coleman got his skin bleached and his hair died white. Now he is running for governor of WWE.

Kane: Triple H said my whole career fit into this jar.

OR

Even HHH's shit is made of gold.

By the look on his face, it seems RVD had one too many joints before his match.

Rock: Will someone please call "cut"? Where is the director around here?

Jericho: Wow Christian, the reception on this phone is so clear. I just bought it because Catherine Zeta-Jones was on the commercial, but it works well. Can you hear me OK?

Christian: Dude, I am right behind you!

Batista gets Hurrican ready for HHH.

**Nowhere Man** · 03-11-2004, 01:52 AM

Anyways, here's my usual "day late and a dollar short" offering.

Kane hated these moral dilemmas. Not because of the emotional strain, but because instead of a little angel and devil, he had a gigantic floating disembodied head, and an even bigger, transparent version of the same head.

In a related story, he and John Cena are currently seeing the same psychiatrist, who is making a fortune off of them.

Not content with burying careers anymore, Hunter dug up the Hurricane and had him cremated instead.

After realizing his career as a single wrestler was over, Jacobs decided he'd be better off in a stable and tried to pass himself off as one of the Dudley Boyz. Unfortunately, "Big Burnt-up Psycho Dudley" was met with little enthusiasm.

"Hey, Hurricane! Good news! You're actually gonna wrestle on Raw again tonight!....Hurricane?......'cane? Hellooooo?"

Kane wasn't surprised that they were going to completely change his character's back-story again, but did they really have to announce it on the Titan-Tron while they're at it?

Renee simply let Conway do all the work in the match, while he himself stood as still as humanly possible, praying that the audience didn't notice the giant load he'd just dumped in his pants.

Rob was caught off guard when his magic motor-scooter started fighting back.

With everyone's attention focused on the action in the ring, the giant buzzsaw was able to lower from the ceiling and decapitate Dupree without any suspicion.

Y2J:....so, yeah, that'll be 400 anchovy pizzas delivered to the Helmsley-McMahon house at 4 in the morning. Oh, and tell 'em Christian sends his regards. *snickers evilly*
Christian: ......

Van Dam gives his opinion on the current World Title picture on Raw.

Okay, so Hunter got lazy and only cremated half of the Hurricane. But hey, you can't say this match wasn't interesting!

Matt pimp-slaps the hell out of Benoit, knowing there's nothing Benoit could do before the giant buzzsaw got him.

Benoit:...and let me just say it'll be an honor to face the Heart Break Kid at Wrestlemania.
HBK: Yeah. It'll be just like old times, Bret.

Benoit: For the last time, I'm not Bret! I'm CHRIS!
HBK: Okay, sorry, sorry. You just look different without the goatee and the long hair.
Benoit: WRONG CHRIS!!!!

Sleeper holds are painful enough, but Molly had to raise the bar by plunging her knee into Lita's back at the same time.

Lita unveils her newest finisher, the Pit-Stank of Death.

As Molly and the ref both struggled to get free, Vince could only wonder how the hell Rhyno slipped past Raw security.

Victoria shocks the world by shoving a pencil straight into her ear.

Austin was just as shocked as everyone else when his right hand made a surprise heel turn and leveled him.

Jericho writhed in the painful submission hold, but he'd already won half the battle, making Richards visible again by transferring the invisibility field directly into the referee's saxophone. You'd be surprised by all the things you could learn in the old Dungeon.

Jericho held Stevie in place as the buzzsaw came down for its next victim.

Stacy thrills Jackie with stories of her fling with Lance Storm.

I really wanted to do the Evil Mirror Universe thing here, but someone already beat me to it. Damn!

The Rock and Foley, only seconds after a crazed Doink set off his suicide bomb at ringside.

Mick was proud to be the one who announced Sable was switching rosters.

The Rock prepared to let loose the verbal assault, remembered the Torrie/Sable angle from last year, and decided that since she really WAS a homo, there wasn't much of a point to it.

Spider-Mick unleashes his web-shooters on an unsuspecting crowd and swings away.

Snuka:....so they really just flew me out here to put that stupid Orton kid over?
Mick: Well, that's pretty much the long and short of it.
Snuka:....shit.

Neither Rocky or Snuka was all that happy about having to plug the next Playboy shoot, but hey, a paycheck's a paycheck.

The Rock 'n' Sock Connection: now with Karate Chop Action!!!

*Kung-Fu Grip Foley sold separately*

Sure, the Rock was an exciting wrestler, a master of promos, and a pretty damn decent actor, but he couldn't air-guitar for shit.

Foley wasn't quite sure if he could break Bob Backlund's record of "Mostly Frequently Humiliated Wrestling Legend." but damn if he wasn't going to try!

I mean, why else would he agree to put over Randy Orton?

Rocky: Dammit, Dave, I'm already over! *mmmmph!*
Batista: Not according to Hunter, you're not.

Tragedy struck when the Rock died from shock in the middle of the ring. In a related story, WWE had placed a permanent ban on all surprise birthday parties.

And the saddest part was, they paid all that money for the pony, and nobody got to ride it.

Here we see a rare glimpse of a North American Foley coming out of hibernation. In this time of year, a Foley will usually make its annual appearance on WWE TV, get publicly humiliated in a vain attempt in putting Evolution over, and then disappear again into the wild.

I'm all for new and exciting gimmick matches, but the "Red Rover, Red Rover" match ain't exactly on par with TLC.

**Corkscrewed** · 03-11-2004, 04:26 AM

LMAO! Wow, he's right. He comes in a day late AND posts gold. And no one notices... except me and everyone else who reads this after me.

**Azriel** · 03-11-2004, 08:49 AM

Nowhere Man delivers again. You guys rock. Definitely give me a good laugh in the morning.

**Evolution** · 03-11-2004, 10:05 AM

Awesome. I was gonna do a "Wizard of Oz2 one with Kane, but couldn't think of any requests.

03-11-2004, 10:12 AM

Nowhere Man, you rock. In fact, everybody here has posted some great captions this week!

03-11-2004, 10:05 AM	#46
Evolution I Just Passed You By! Posts: 1,107	Awesome. I was gonna do a "Wizard of Oz2 one with Kane, but couldn't think of any requests. Evolution

03-10-2004, 01:50 PM	#41
Azriel The Caption Crippler Posts: 8,855	I've got to say, you guys rocked with the captions. And bows the *** down to Lammy* The master has returned.

03-10-2004, 10:43 PM	#42
Iceman90 Posts: 433	Here are my captions: Kane: Oh great powerful Oz, I would like you to give me a world title shot. Oz (Kane's face): Sorry. Not even I can get Triple H to lay on his back for anyone except Stephanie and Vince. Kane: How nice. Hunter passed out this new CAREER SAVER potion. The directions say take 1 cup daily and you will be buried in no time. After Kane read what the Internet fans were saying about him, he destorys his computer and its desk. Vince McMahon tries to cash in on a new trend. XAI (Xtreme American Idol). All the real contestants are pantywaists. Who Here we see Stone Cold singing his song "Drunk Again", and the words are on the TitanTron so the fans can join in. Shawn: So we have a deal? Benoit: Yep. 3 some with Hunter tonight. Shawn: See you at 10 pm. The 4th face of Foley...Surfer Bob! It seems Gary Coleman got his skin bleached and his hair died white. Now he is running for governor of WWE. Kane: Triple H said my whole career fit into this jar. OR Even HHH's shit is made of gold. By the look on his face, it seems RVD had one too many joints before his match. Rock: Will someone please call "cut"? Where is the director around here? Jericho: Wow Christian, the reception on this phone is so clear. I just bought it because Catherine Zeta-Jones was on the commercial, but it works well. Can you hear me OK? Christian: Dude, I am right behind you! Batista gets Hurrican ready for HHH.

03-11-2004, 01:52 AM	#43
Nowhere Man Now. Here. Man. Posts: 8,370	Anyways, here's my usual "day late and a dollar short" offering. Kane hated these moral dilemmas. Not because of the emotional strain, but because instead of a little angel and devil, he had a gigantic floating disembodied head, and an even bigger, transparent version of the same head. In a related story, he and John Cena are currently seeing the same psychiatrist, who is making a fortune off of them. Not content with burying careers anymore, Hunter dug up the Hurricane and had him cremated instead. After realizing his career as a single wrestler was over, Jacobs decided he'd be better off in a stable and tried to pass himself off as one of the Dudley Boyz. Unfortunately, "Big Burnt-up Psycho Dudley" was met with little enthusiasm. "Hey, Hurricane! Good news! You're actually gonna wrestle on Raw again tonight!....Hurricane?......'cane? Hellooooo?" Kane wasn't surprised that they were going to completely change his character's back-story again, but did they really have to announce it on the Titan-Tron while they're at it? Renee simply let Conway do all the work in the match, while he himself stood as still as humanly possible, praying that the audience didn't notice the giant load he'd just dumped in his pants. Rob was caught off guard when his magic motor-scooter started fighting back. With everyone's attention focused on the action in the ring, the giant buzzsaw was able to lower from the ceiling and decapitate Dupree without any suspicion. Y2J:....so, yeah, that'll be 400 anchovy pizzas delivered to the Helmsley-McMahon house at 4 in the morning. Oh, and tell 'em Christian sends his regards. snickers evilly Christian: ...... Van Dam gives his opinion on the current World Title picture on Raw. Okay, so Hunter got lazy and only cremated half of the Hurricane. But hey, you can't say this match wasn't interesting! Matt pimp-slaps the hell out of Benoit, knowing there's nothing Benoit could do before the giant buzzsaw got him. Benoit:...and let me just say it'll be an honor to face the Heart Break Kid at Wrestlemania. HBK: Yeah. It'll be just like old times, Bret. Benoit: For the last time, I'm not Bret! I'm CHRIS! HBK: Okay, sorry, sorry. You just look different without the goatee and the long hair. Benoit: WRONG CHRIS!!!! Sleeper holds are painful enough, but Molly had to raise the bar by plunging her knee into Lita's back at the same time. Lita unveils her newest finisher, the Pit-Stank of Death. As Molly and the ref both struggled to get free, Vince could only wonder how the hell Rhyno slipped past Raw security. Victoria shocks the world by shoving a pencil straight into her ear. Austin was just as shocked as everyone else when his right hand made a surprise heel turn and leveled him. Jericho writhed in the painful submission hold, but he'd already won half the battle, making Richards visible again by transferring the invisibility field directly into the referee's saxophone. You'd be surprised by all the things you could learn in the old Dungeon. Jericho held Stevie in place as the buzzsaw came down for its next victim. Stacy thrills Jackie with stories of her fling with Lance Storm. I really wanted to do the Evil Mirror Universe thing here, but someone already beat me to it. Damn! The Rock and Foley, only seconds after a crazed Doink set off his suicide bomb at ringside. Mick was proud to be the one who announced Sable was switching rosters. The Rock prepared to let loose the verbal assault, remembered the Torrie/Sable angle from last year, and decided that since she really WAS a homo, there wasn't much of a point to it. Spider-Mick unleashes his web-shooters on an unsuspecting crowd and swings away. Snuka:....so they really just flew me out here to put that stupid Orton kid over? Mick: Well, that's pretty much the long and short of it. Snuka:....shit. Neither Rocky or Snuka was all that happy about having to plug the next Playboy shoot, but hey, a paycheck's a paycheck. The Rock 'n' Sock Connection: now with Karate Chop Action!!! Kung-Fu Grip Foley sold separately Sure, the Rock was an exciting wrestler, a master of promos, and a pretty damn decent actor, but he couldn't air-guitar for shit. Foley wasn't quite sure if he could break Bob Backlund's record of "Mostly Frequently Humiliated Wrestling Legend." but damn if he wasn't going to try! I mean, why else would he agree to put over Randy Orton? Rocky: Dammit, Dave, I'm already over! mmmmph! Batista: Not according to Hunter, you're not. Tragedy struck when the Rock died from shock in the middle of the ring. In a related story, WWE had placed a permanent ban on all surprise birthday parties. And the saddest part was, they paid all that money for the pony, and nobody got to ride it. Here we see a rare glimpse of a North American Foley coming out of hibernation. In this time of year, a Foley will usually make its annual appearance on WWE TV, get publicly humiliated in a vain attempt in putting Evolution over, and then disappear again into the wild. I'm all for new and exciting gimmick matches, but the "Red Rover, Red Rover" match ain't exactly on par with TLC.

03-11-2004, 04:26 AM	#44
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	LMAO! Wow, he's right. He comes in a day late AND posts gold. And no one notices... except me and everyone else who reads this after me.

03-11-2004, 08:49 AM	#45
Azriel The Caption Crippler Posts: 8,855	Nowhere Man delivers again. You guys rock. Definitely give me a good laugh in the morning.

03-11-2004, 10:12 AM	#47
clintster Guest Posts: n/a	Nowhere Man, you rock. In fact, everybody here has posted some great captions this week!