RAW Captions 5/4/04

**Corkscrewed** · 05-04-2004, 04:29 PM

Leave it to Orton to perform the most devastating noogies ever.

Tajiri: "That's right, Batista! Suck my dick! Whaddya say about Asian stereotypes now, HUH? I'm Yoshihiro TaJIRI, BITCH!!!"

Orton: "Oh crap, Dave, you all right? I TOLD you Steph was a squirter!"

The Twister tournament was not off to a smooth start.

When the ref started doing that stupid Chicken Dance, Rob knew he had to power up the Hurricannon and put an end to this absurdity once and for all.

That's right, a young Professor Quirrell agrees, YOU'RE A HOMO!
Sorry, but the Harry Potter allusion was the obvious thing for me.

With things looking bleak, Kane makes a tag to his partner... GIANT STEVIE RICHARDS!!!

Richards: "Im being elevated! I'm being elevatoed! I'm being--oh crap!"

Jericho: "Matt, did you get a new buttocks?"
Hardy: "I had to. My old one had a crack in it."
(Rep for the reference)

Lita never believed there was a Dungeon for the Botch-prone either, but now she was starting to regret that too.

"No! Don't give me a root canal! I swear, I'll never botch another move again!"

"... Mr Clean, Mr Clean!"

When the Spirit of Grandma possessed Christian, no one was safe from his cheek-pinching parade of terror!

Christian: (ala Queer Eye) "This set? It's absolutely horrendous!"
Jericho: (sobbing) "Stop it! I get it already, I have horrible fashion sense!"
Tyson: "...and lets not even begin to talk about the PANTS!"

Matt froze when he reached down and realized Lita had a penis.

Gail: "See it?"
Mike Sparks: "Yeah, geez, Victoria, gingivitus everywhere! Whose your dentist, Kane???"

When the face sucking aliens attacked, no one was safe from their might.

Sparks: "KIDS!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PLAYING WITH JAMIE NOBLE'S TORSO PORTAL???"
Gail & Victoria: "Sorrrrry dad."

Sparks: (Aussie accent): "Great job Gail! Now that you have her down, I'll grab a dart and tranquilize her! This one's gonna be a beauty!"

Benoit wasn't into Shawn's new Rico gimmick.

HBK: "Chris Rock?"
Benoit: "WRONG CHRIS! How many--" *Michaels locks in Liontamer* "OW!!! What the, now you think YOU'RE CHRIS???"

Chioda: "Okay, okay, Shawn, check this out. What did... the five fingers say... to the face?"
Michaels: "...not... the... time...!!!"
Chioda: *SMACK* "RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!!"

Chris knew that if he pressed the right button, he could reverse Shawn's Screw-over-all-Canadians function.

"Oh Belty! For a moment, I thought I wouldn't be reunited with you again!" *fawn*

The ending of RAW was stalled when Triple H became distracted by a shiny invisible quarter.

05-04-2004, 04:29 PM	#10
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	Leave it to Orton to perform the most devastating noogies ever. Tajiri: "That's right, Batista! Suck my dick! Whaddya say about Asian stereotypes now, HUH? I'm Yoshihiro TaJIRI, BITCH!!!" Orton: "Oh crap, Dave, you all right? I TOLD you Steph was a squirter!" The Twister tournament was not off to a smooth start. When the ref started doing that stupid Chicken Dance, Rob knew he had to power up the Hurricannon and put an end to this absurdity once and for all. That's right, a young Professor Quirrell agrees, YOU'RE A HOMO! Sorry, but the Harry Potter allusion was the obvious thing for me. With things looking bleak, Kane makes a tag to his partner... GIANT STEVIE RICHARDS!!! Richards: "Im being elevated! I'm being elevatoed! I'm being--oh crap!" Jericho: "Matt, did you get a new buttocks?" Hardy: "I had to. My old one had a crack in it." (Rep for the reference) Lita never believed there was a Dungeon for the Botch-prone either, but now she was starting to regret that too. "No! Don't give me a root canal! I swear, I'll never botch another move again!" "... Mr Clean, Mr Clean!" When the Spirit of Grandma possessed Christian, no one was safe from his cheek-pinching parade of terror! Christian: (ala Queer Eye) "This set? It's absolutely horrendous!" Jericho: (sobbing) "Stop it! I get it already, I have horrible fashion sense!" Tyson: "...and lets not even begin to talk about the PANTS!" Matt froze when he reached down and realized Lita had a penis. Gail: "See it?" Mike Sparks: "Yeah, geez, Victoria, gingivitus everywhere! Whose your dentist, Kane???" When the face sucking aliens attacked, no one was safe from their might. Sparks: "KIDS!!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PLAYING WITH JAMIE NOBLE'S TORSO PORTAL???" Gail & Victoria: "Sorrrrry dad." Sparks: (Aussie accent): "Great job Gail! Now that you have her down, I'll grab a dart and tranquilize her! This one's gonna be a beauty!" Benoit wasn't into Shawn's new Rico gimmick. HBK: "Chris Rock?" Benoit: "WRONG CHRIS! How many--" Michaels locks in Liontamer "OW!!! What the, now you think YOU'RE CHRIS???" Chioda: "Okay, okay, Shawn, check this out. What did... the five fingers say... to the face?" Michaels: "...not... the... time...!!!" Chioda: SMACK "RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!!" Chris knew that if he pressed the right button, he could reverse Shawn's Screw-over-all-Canadians function. "Oh Belty! For a moment, I thought I wouldn't be reunited with you again!" fawn The ending of RAW was stalled when Triple H became distracted by a shiny invisible quarter.