NOW PLAYING: Armchair Warfare, Television Week Four!

**Lock Jaw** · 08-26-2010, 07:09 PM

Lock Jaw's Fantastic Reviews, Week Four!

Greetings to you, the bookers! Welcome to this week's review from Judge Lock Jaw! Five shows, each with their own merits! But how do they stack against each other when going head to head? Find out using Judge Lock Jaw's unique judging system!

For the purposes of judging, I will be placing each show side by side, as if they were on at the same time. I will be giving out points. 3 for what the causal fan would watch (assuming they have no brand loyalty and are just switching between all shows like me), 2 for what I would watch, and 1 for what I would first watch on youtube the next day. I'll also give a bonus .5 points for one of the other feds, just because I can.

So, without further ado... (under spoilers just to keep it more concise)

Opening Segments

SPOILER: show

Section #1

SPOILER: show

Section #2

SPOILER: show

SCW has Heath Slater kicked in the face by Tomko. Dude who was at RAW two weeks ago yelling "I hate you, Heath Slater. I hate you!" is happy. Jeremy Buck then defeats Jeff Hardy after Jeff is taken off his game by more of Matt being a weirdo.

LAW has Barrett talking to Gorman, demanding to know who THE BOSS is. Gorman says they'll all find out... SOON! The Pope is in the ring and talks about Matt Morgan. Matt Morgan comes out and goes crazy, a match is set for the PPV. Not really buying into this match.

VCW has a quick Henry/Truth/Kaval interview backstage. Eric Young is then in the ring, demanding Suicide reveal himself. Suicide appears on the tron, talks his way into a match. The mask is taken off and it is... THE GREAT KHALI! Great Khali comes out and beats Eric Young. Real Suicide appears and is like "LULZ, you got punk'd" and then says he will fight Eric Young at the PPV. He promises win, lose, or draw he will take off his mask. Which again seems wonky to me since he seemed to care so much about it in previous weeks.

DWW sees Rey Mysterio return in a BLUE mask. Rey says he needs to be careful because of his injuries, but then challenges Homicide to a match because apparently Rey is good buddies with Shark Boy (they both have masks). Homicide appears and hits Rey with a lead pipe before their match begins. Rey Mysterio then possibly wins that match. The writing is kind of confusing here and make it sound like Mysterio got hit by a 619 and a West Coast Pop. So either Homicide is mocking Rey, or it was supposed to come across as Homicide being on the receiving end of these moves.

TIW has a match followed by a bunch of segments. James Storm beats AJ Styles, who isn't very happy. We then have another DiBiase Vignette, in which he is inexplicably driving his own car, with McCool beside him and Sheffield in the back. He has Sheffield beat up some guy in the car in front of them. Natalya backstage, find the Rainbow Connection to help her. A match is set for the PPV. Those two promos really got DiBiase/Sheffield over with me, too bad they are facing a team/gimmick I don't care about at all.

Verdict:

Casual Fan Watches: SCW (+3 Points)
Lock Jaw Watches: TIW (+2 Points)
First to get Youtube'd: VCW (+1 Point)
Bonus: DWW (+0.5 Points)

Section #3

SPOILER: show

Section #4

SPOILER: show

Main Events

SPOILER: show

SCW continues the gauntlet. CM Punk beats Kazarian. Kane then beats Punk by DQ when Abyss attacks him. CM Punk is not in the PPV... in fact... he's not booked! Punk, nevertheless, vows that he will make an iMPACT! Angle and Swagger then brawl. Gotta say, not too excited about Angle/Swagger. This whole feud doesn't have much steam behind it at all (which is a shame, because it could have). Much more interested to see what Punk is up to.

LAW sees Jericho/Wolfe beat Cena/Barrett as Cena takes yet ANOTHER loss after the lights turn out just as he is about to his the Attitude Adjustment. Apparently he drops Jericho when the lights go off and when they go back on Jericho with the codebreaker and lionsault for the win!

VCW has Anderson beat HHH when Haitch is again distracted by video messages. Makes Anderson, one of the contenders to the world title, and the top face of the company look weak as he was about to lose if not for the video. Anyways, HHH goes banana. Orton brawls with Anderson. Security has a nice day.

DWW sees.... A GAUNTLET! Haven't seen one of those in awhile. Rhino beats Primo. Rhino beats Jesse Neal. Rhino beats Magnus and then beats Rob Terry, somewhere along the line it turns into a cluster****.

TIW has Undertaker out for commentary. Which is kind of lame. I guess the point was to "take away some of the mystique", but the mystique is the whole point of The Undertaker, so taking it away is dumb. Still not buying Undertaker as a heel

. Anyways, Joe beats Christian. The ref is knocked out by Joe. Sheamus comes out and Brogue Kick to Xtian. Taker chokeslams Joe. The match continues, though. The ref gets back up, I guess not DQing Joe for knocking him out. Joe eventually wins, which is a huge mistake. Again, it makes your top face contender for the world title look weak, going right into the PPV. It makes Joe look like a million bucks, but he didn't need it right now. Anyways, post-match, Taker vanishes and McIntyggler appears. Then in more wonky logic, instead of attacking the man who is facing their leader at the PPV, SheamIntyggler begin to beat up Kevin Nash. Joe and Xtian for the save as they join the brawl. Should really have been the other way around, with Nash joining the brawl.

Verdict:

Casual Fan Watches: TIW (+3 Points)
Lock Jaw Watches: TIW (+2 Points)
First to get Youtube'd: VCW (+1 Point)
Bonus: DWW (+0.5 Points)

Final Tally:

SPOILER: show

And there you have it! No "Buzz" this week, though, I will possibly do a "Buzz"-like review for the PPVs later on.

View Poll Results: Which was your favorite show this week?
Superb Championship Wrestling	0	0%
Lethal Action Wrestling	0	0%
Vintage Championship Wrestling	3	60.00%
Dead Wrong Wrestling	1	20.00%
This Is Wrestling	1	20.00%
Voters: 5. You must log in or register to vote on this poll.

08-26-2010, 07:09 PM	#11
Lock Jaw Skibbidy Lock Jaw Posts: 88,695	Lock Jaw's Fantastic Reviews, Week Four! Greetings to you, the bookers! Welcome to this week's review from Judge Lock Jaw! Five shows, each with their own merits! But how do they stack against each other when going head to head? Find out using Judge Lock Jaw's unique judging system! For the purposes of judging, I will be placing each show side by side, as if they were on at the same time. I will be giving out points. 3 for what the causal fan would watch (assuming they have no brand loyalty and are just switching between all shows like me), 2 for what I would watch, and 1 for what I would first watch on youtube the next day. I'll also give a bonus .5 points for one of the other feds, just because I can. So, without further ado... (under spoilers just to keep it more concise) Opening Segments SPOILER: show SCW has Abyss beat Tomko. Abyss throws his hands in the air and yells KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNE! LAW has Jericho come out and say that he is The Boss' choice, and he will win the world title. Cena comes out and says that he will NEVER GIVE UP and that he will FIGHT FOR HIS RIGHT. VCW opens with Orton already in the ring, seething mad, calling for Anderson. Through the power of video flashback, we see that Anderson has ruined Orton's locker room, and in a shocking twist has shit in Orton's bag! Anderson comes out and before they can get into it, Michael Cole says they will both be in action tonight. Joe Perfect then beats Shannon Moore in a quick match. Perfect talks smack to Hogan. Cole says they can't have a match because no one will insure Hogan's old ass. Hogan says they are having a match and that's that. Cole gives in and says ok to the match, but that it will have to be unsanctioned (despite him just saying it was ok on live TV, thus making him legally responsible for it). DWW sees The Miz come out and act evil. Rhino comes out and there is a confrontation. Rhino leaves. Morrison is next to interrupt Miz, and then takes Miz's world title. I like that this is showing the importance of the world title to everybody, but I don't see the point of this angle, especially since Morrison isn't in the world title contender tournament at the PPV (unless he is double-booked). TIW has SheamIntyggler beat Otunga/Zeke/Shad. McIntyggler then conveys their doubts as to whether Scott Hall and Sean Waltman will appear at the PPV. Hopefully they don't, because no one cares about them anymore. Verdict: Casual Fan Watches: DWW (+3 Points) Lock Jaw Watches: VCW: (+2 Points) First to get Youtube'd: DWW (+1 Point) Bonus: TIW (+0.5 Points) Section #1 SPOILER: show SCW has Curt Hawkins beat Percy Watson. Edge then makes a return! Hawkins celebrates in the ring, and doesn't notice as Edge jumps the barricade. He then doesn't hear a thing while Edge throws Archer into the steel steps. Hawkins continues to celebrate, and is only made aware of Edge's appearance when he gets SPEARED! Some wonky logic going on here with Hawkins not noticing anything. I would have had Hawkins bail out on Archer, gets Hawkins more heat and leaves you with more tension waiting for Edge to get his hands on Hawkins. LAW has the Hart Dynasty beat Tatsu and Santino. They then issue an open challenge for the PPV. Interested to see who can possibly go against them. VCW has The Usos gain some credibility at last as they destroy the Dudebusters and the Dudleys as they are in the middle of a match. However, again, there is some wonky logic going on here. The Usos attack the Dudebusters first, instantly making it four on two, which they logically should lose. If, say, they attacked the Dudleys first, I could see the Dudebusters holding off, or even joining in, only for The Usos to eventually beat them down too. Nevertheless, Usos somehow take down all four and actually look like a threat. DWW has Amazing Red beat JTG. JTG about to beat Alicia Fox when Amazing Red makes the save and leaves with Alicia. Homicide and Evan Bourne beat MVP and Shark Boy when MVP leaves. Homicide is especially vicious. TIW: A bunch of segments followed by a match. Beer Money vs AJ/RVD is set for the PPV, with RVD still being arrogant. We see a DiBiase video of him at a party, having Sheffield beat up some guy who bumps into him. We then see Natalya backstage looking for someone to go up against DiBiase/Sheffield. Hernandez turns her down because he is too busy being Mexican. RVD beats Robert Roode. Verdict: Casual Fan Watches: SCW (+3 Points) Lock Jaw Watches: TIW (+2 Points) First to get Youtube'd: DWW (+1 Point) Bonus: LAW (+0.5 Points) Section #2 SPOILER: show SCW has Heath Slater kicked in the face by Tomko. Dude who was at RAW two weeks ago yelling "I hate you, Heath Slater. I hate you!" is happy. Jeremy Buck then defeats Jeff Hardy after Jeff is taken off his game by more of Matt being a weirdo. LAW has Barrett talking to Gorman, demanding to know who THE BOSS is. Gorman says they'll all find out... SOON! The Pope is in the ring and talks about Matt Morgan. Matt Morgan comes out and goes crazy, a match is set for the PPV. Not really buying into this match. VCW has a quick Henry/Truth/Kaval interview backstage. Eric Young is then in the ring, demanding Suicide reveal himself. Suicide appears on the tron, talks his way into a match. The mask is taken off and it is... THE GREAT KHALI! Great Khali comes out and beats Eric Young. Real Suicide appears and is like "LULZ, you got punk'd" and then says he will fight Eric Young at the PPV. He promises win, lose, or draw he will take off his mask. Which again seems wonky to me since he seemed to care so much about it in previous weeks. DWW sees Rey Mysterio return in a BLUE mask. Rey says he needs to be careful because of his injuries, but then challenges Homicide to a match because apparently Rey is good buddies with Shark Boy (they both have masks). Homicide appears and hits Rey with a lead pipe before their match begins. Rey Mysterio then possibly wins that match. The writing is kind of confusing here and make it sound like Mysterio got hit by a 619 and a West Coast Pop. So either Homicide is mocking Rey, or it was supposed to come across as Homicide being on the receiving end of these moves. TIW has a match followed by a bunch of segments. James Storm beats AJ Styles, who isn't very happy. We then have another DiBiase Vignette, in which he is inexplicably driving his own car, with McCool beside him and Sheffield in the back. He has Sheffield beat up some guy in the car in front of them. Natalya backstage, find the Rainbow Connection to help her. A match is set for the PPV. Those two promos really got DiBiase/Sheffield over with me, too bad they are facing a team/gimmick I don't care about at all. Verdict: Casual Fan Watches: SCW (+3 Points) Lock Jaw Watches: TIW (+2 Points) First to get Youtube'd: VCW (+1 Point) Bonus: DWW (+0.5 Points) Section #3 SPOILER: show SCW: To make them actually have a section #3, I have taken the first part of their main event and put it in this section. There is an Angle/Swagger package. Followed by CM Punk making his entrance and a quick promo. Punk beats Darren Young. Punk beats Chris Masters. LAW has Michael Tarver beat Justin Gabriel. He is about to destroy him when a wild Big Show appears. A street fight is set for the PPV. Zack Ryder backstage stripping Velvet Sky. Eli Cottonwood challenges Ryder for a match at the PPV. So end total: One match that I look forward to seeing, one I don't really care about VCW: Goldust comes out and is attacked by Cody Rhodes. Cody is attacked by Dustin Rhodes. Goldust is Husky. Husky is Goldust. Goldust is... a man! Anyways, Dustin stops short of shattering Cody's dreams, and challenges him for the PPV. Randy Orton then comes out for a match against Cody. Some mysterious fan still does not buy him as a heel . Cody rolls up Orton after a distraction by Anderson first on the tron, and then in the ring. First time I really felt Anderson as the face. DWW has Paul London beat Kofi and Shelley. London decrees their triple-threat tag match at the PPV to be a ladder match. After the match The Miz comes out and dominates John Morrison, wanting his title back. They fight backstage. Miz is laid out with a belt shot by Evan Bourne, who gives the title back. TIW has Christian/Sheamus in the Peep Show having a great back and forth, only to be interrupted by Joe, who makes it known that he thinks of himself as the top dog, and will continue to prove it! A match is set versus Christian for later. Verdict: Casual Fan Watches: TIW (+3 Points) Lock Jaw Watches: TIW (+2 Points) First to get Youtube'd: VCW (+1 Point) Bonus: LAW for Tarver (+0.5 Points) Section #4 SPOILER: show Otherwise known as the VCW vs TIW bonus section. VCW has a Jay Lethal interview, saying that he intends to take out HHH when he returns in three months. We then have a Triple Haitch promo, where he challenges the mysterious messages to show up at the PPV. Kaval/Truth/Henry continue their roll of TNA-like gimmick matches, and Henry is eliminated via double-pin. Henry goes on a rampage. Kaval makes the save. TIW has a Zeke/Shad/Otunga segment backstage. Otunga gets them booked against Kozlov and a mystery partner at the PPV. Guarantees a victory, says they can fire him as their Agent if they don't win. Even though these guy have been jobbers, I gotta say this whole thing is keeping me interested in them. Sheffield then beats Miki in a dominating fashion (but not the type of dominating that Miki would like). Sheffield grabs the microphone and reveals that he is also the Million Dollar Man's son. Totally unnecessary and confusing. Anyways, Chavo then beats Kozlov by DQ when Hernandez beats up Chavo and speaks in a foreign language. Definitely way less excited for this angle/feud then I was for Chavo/Hernandez vs Beer Money. [b]Verdict: TIW (+1 Point) VCW (+0.5 Points) Main Events SPOILER: show SCW continues the gauntlet. CM Punk beats Kazarian. Kane then beats Punk by DQ when Abyss attacks him. CM Punk is not in the PPV... in fact... he's not booked! Punk, nevertheless, vows that he will make an iMPACT! Angle and Swagger then brawl. Gotta say, not too excited about Angle/Swagger. This whole feud doesn't have much steam behind it at all (which is a shame, because it could have). Much more interested to see what Punk is up to. LAW sees Jericho/Wolfe beat Cena/Barrett as Cena takes yet ANOTHER loss after the lights turn out just as he is about to his the Attitude Adjustment. Apparently he drops Jericho when the lights go off and when they go back on Jericho with the codebreaker and lionsault for the win! VCW has Anderson beat HHH when Haitch is again distracted by video messages. Makes Anderson, one of the contenders to the world title, and the top face of the company look weak as he was about to lose if not for the video. Anyways, HHH goes banana. Orton brawls with Anderson. Security has a nice day. DWW sees.... A GAUNTLET! Haven't seen one of those in awhile. Rhino beats Primo. Rhino beats Jesse Neal. Rhino beats Magnus and then beats Rob Terry, somewhere along the line it turns into a cluster**. TIW has Undertaker out for commentary. Which is kind of lame. I guess the point was to "take away some of the mystique", but the mystique is the whole point of The Undertaker, so taking it away is dumb. Still not buying Undertaker as a heel . Anyways, Joe beats Christian. The ref is knocked out by Joe. Sheamus comes out and Brogue Kick to Xtian. Taker chokeslams Joe. The match continues, though. The ref gets back up, I guess not DQing Joe for knocking him out. Joe eventually wins, which is a huge mistake. Again, it makes your top face contender for the world title look weak, going right into the PPV. It makes Joe look like a million bucks, but he didn't need it right now. Anyways, post-match, Taker vanishes and McIntyggler appears. Then in more wonky logic, instead of attacking the man who is facing their leader at the PPV, SheamIntyggler begin to beat up Kevin Nash. Joe and Xtian for the save as they join the brawl. Should really have been the other way around, with Nash joining the brawl. Verdict: Casual Fan Watches: TIW (+3 Points) Lock Jaw Watches: TIW (+2 Points) First to get Youtube'd: VCW (+1 Point) Bonus: DWW (+0.5 Points) Final Tally: SPOILER:** show 1) TIW: 1.55 + Week 3 "Buzz" Bonus = 1.85 (Up 0.5) 2) DWW: 0.6 (Down 0.2) 3) SCW: 0.6 (Down 0.25) 4) VCW: 0.55 (Up 0.05) 5) LAW: 0.1 (Up 0.05) I felt that all five shows stepped it up this week for the final push to PPV. TIW once again runs away and dominates, setting a new record for highest rated show, even before their bonus got added. DWW/SCW/VCW all fairly close, while LAW continues to bring up the rear. And there you have it! No "Buzz" this week, though, I will possibly do a "Buzz"-like review for the PPVs later on.