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[loopydate]

MARCH 11, 2005 - SMACKDOWN!

We are just two nights away from WrestleMania 21 (the 20th anniversary of WM), and tonight most of the night's participants will be in action!

But the night kicks off with two brand new WWE superstars, arrogant former Real World cast member The Miz taking on good ol' boy Harlowe. They start to put on a decent match, but it comes to an abrupt ending when Brock Lesnar enters the ring with a steel chair and lays both of them out.

Lesnar grabs a mic and he tears into Rob Van Dam one last time, reiterating his mission statement: I destroyed your past, now it's time to destroy your future!

Chavo Guerrero has been on a mini roll since betraying his uncle Eddie, and tonight he goes up against Funaki. The two high-flying stars put on a shockingly good match, with Chavo going over with a sick brainbuster.

Backstage, the Nova Scotia Cosa Nostra is talking about their respective matches tonight, briefly going into promo mode before returning to their conversation.

High-flying midcarders Air Paris and Brian Kendrick take on Acid Test in our next match. Paris and Kendrick look good until Acid Test manage to isolate Paris and hit him with Dazed And Confused for the win.

Last week, four teams won qualifying matches to earn spots in tonight's match. The winner of this four-team elimination match will face the APA next week for the World Tag Team Titles! Lots of quick tags early, and after several minutes of action, M'n'M is eliminated after D-Von Dudley pins John Morrison. The fans get a thrill watching the Dudley Boyz and the Hardy Boyz renew one of the greatest tag rivalries of all time, and the Hardyz take this one after Jeff pins D-Von. The ensuing battle between the Hardyz and Gunnstantino leads to more exciting tag action that Billy and Rico surprisingly win clean after Gunn puts Jeff away with the Fameasser.

The Rock hits the ring before his big eight-man tag match tonight. He talks about his ongoing struggles with WWE Champion Chris Benoit and how - one way or the other - they're all going to end Sunday night on the biggest stage of them all!

He's joined by The Hurricane, Nova, and Spike Dudley for a match against the all-champions team of Benoit, Intercontinental Champion Dave Batista, and the World Tag Team Champions the APA. Nova and Layfield control most of the match, but Hurricane winds up picking up the surprise win for his team when he pins Batista with the Shining Wizard.

Six members of the Elite are up next in a big tag-team match as Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, and Rey Mysterio team up to take on Christian, Randy Orton, and Tajiri! We get a brief tease for the Eddie/Tajiri Mania match, but primarily it's Cena and Tajiri leading the charge. Eventually, Cena pins Orton with the F-U to pick up the win for his team.

Mickie James is backstage, and she talks up her Women's Title defense against her former best friend Trish Stratus. Mickie just gets better and better each week. It's a little freaky.

Speaking of freaky: How good are Rhyno and Chris Jericho? Tonight's main event is the latest in a string of barn-burners and Rhyno sends the fans home happy one Gore! GORE! GOOOOOORE later.

[loopydate]

MARCH 18, 2005 - SMACKDOWN!

The first show with the new SmackDown! roster kicks off with two guys looking to catch the eye of the WWE brass as Harlowe takes on Richard J. Criado. Unfortunately, the guy whose eye they caught was Randy Orton, who slides into the ring, hitting both men with an RKO and leaving them laying.

The Cruiserweight Division is still going strong on Friday nights, and we have a ten-man tag match to prove it. Nova brings Air Paris, Derrick King, Spike Dudley, and the returning Grandmaster Sexay to take on The Miz, Matt Stryker, Pepper Parks, Avery Thompson, and the debut of... CHRIS FUCKING SABIN! (copyright TPWW 2005). Exciting match, but Sabin is the real star here, picking up the win by hitting King with the Future Shock.

Just Joe returns to a "Who?" response, but that's okay because his match with the debuting Shark Boy wins them over by the end. One Deep Sea Drop later, and the skinny guy with a shark mask is 1-0!

Nunzio and Chris Kanyon team with a debuting Michael Shane to take on the SAT (Joel and Jose Maximo) and the returning X-Pac, whose pop nearly blows the roof off the arena. Another exciting match showcasing the cruiserweights that former champion Pac wins with the X-Factor on Shane.

Shelton Benjamin and Chavo Guerrero are out next, and they put on a solid match to show that there are some WWE mainstays that are hungry for an opportunity on the new-look Friday Night SmackDown! Shelton wins an excellent technical encounter with the Dragon Whip. He offers his hand to Chavo, but is shunned and Chavo walks to the back to a chorus of boos.

United States Champion Damien teams with a debuting Steve Corino in our next contest as they take on Corino's fellow debuting ECW alumni Perry Saturn and Sandman in a tag match! Decent match that doesn't live up to the previous few. In the end, miscommunication between the heels allows Saturn to hit Corino with a Death Valley Driver. After the match, Damien chokeslams Corino and walks off angrily.

Fortunately, after the disappointing match that preceded it, the Rey Mysterio/Randy Orton match is a masterpiece. The crowd is 100% into it as both men hit all of their signature high spots. Rey gets the clean win with the West Coast Pop, but Orton hits an RKO after the bell to get some of his heat back. This definitely looks like it could be the start of a huge program here on SmackDown!

Due to Rene Dupree being future endeavored, the WWE Tag Team Titles are vacant and up-for-grabs in this four-team elimination match! It's the Dudley Boyz vs. M'n'M vs. the Hardy Boyz vs. the debuting team of Elix Skipper and Kid Romeo! The rookies are the first to go as "Primetime" Skipper eats a Twist of Fate from Cruiserweight Champion Matt Hardy Version 2.0. The Dudleyz put M'n'M away with the 3-D, only for Bubba to get taken out by a surprise Swanton from Jeff Hardy allowing the boys from Cameron to steal the match and the belts!

Tajiri is backstage, being pumped up by Don Callis. The former Jackal is hyping up the Buzzsaw for his next match.

And his hype must have worked, because the match between Tajiri and Rhyno is our second Match of the Year candidate! Absolutely brutal contest between the former Network partners ends with Callis distracting his former charge, allowing Tajiri to blast the Kick Of Death for the win. After the match, Callis eats a Gore and Tajiri cuts and runs. This is definitely not the last we've seen of these two!

And in our main event, SmackDown!'s new top title is introduced when NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett makes his return in a match against Eddie Guerrero. It's a good match, but Jarrett takes advantage of a ref bump to blast Eddie with his trademark guitar and pick up the cheap win. Once Eddie regains consciousness, he goes right after Jarrett, and the show fades to black with the two still brawling!

[loopydate]

MARCH 21, 2005 - MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Raw kicks off with WWE Chairman Eric Bischoff makes his way to the ring, and he's smiling. Which can't POSSIBLY be a good thing. The announcers speculate on the identity of the third man on the RAW Authority Committee, hype a seven-man gauntlet for a Television Title shot at Backlash and the huge champion-vs-champion main event as he enters the ring. "Well, I'm sure you heard the news from this weekend. Nineteen Superstars getting their walking papers. What you probably missed was the thirty-seven developmental deals that were cut as well. Well, here's the deal. And this is not a knock on any of these fifty-six men and women, but I have a business to run. There were almost 200 people under my watch and - great as I am - there's just no way to get all of them into six hours of television a week. Which leads me to the point of this whole thing: competition. This whole business is about who wants it more. And we're going to find out. Starting Wednesday night on Superstars, we're going to have a series of battle royals. Ten men in each match. The winner will receive a title shot later in the night. And you want to survive as long as you can. Because I'm going to randomly pick a number while the match is going on. And whatever number I draw, I'm going to fire that many of the participants, in the order they were eliminated. I'm calling it Feast Or Famine. One man may win a title. Nine may lose their jobs. Let's get to competing!"

Our opening match tonight pits Mickie James and newcomer Trinity against Jazz and Molly Holly. These four have to be considered among the top contenders for the Women's Title, which is up in the air due to Trish Stratus' injury. Solid match between the four Divas that Mickie is set to win with her tornado DDT on Molly. As she swings up into the air, Trinity snatches her out of midair and slams her down. Mickie is in shock and walks right into the Molly Go Round, giving the heels the win. After the match, Victoria and Gail Kim hit the ring to make the save, driving off the three heels. (80% overall for a divas' tag match?)

The TV Title #1 Contender gauntlet kicks off as Erik Watts takes on the Disco Inferno. Pretty bland match that Disco wins with the Chartbuster.

Disco recovers from the abuse he sustained at the larger man's hands. "Oh, you didn't know?!?" The crowd erupts as the D-O-Double-G makes his way to the ring. Slightly better match than its predecessor that Road Dogg wins with the Dogg Pound.

As Dogg celebrates, he gets blindsided by Buff Bagwell. After a brief beatdown, Buff hits the Blockbuster for the win.

The hour one main event is another gauntlet match as Bagwell takes on Rob Van Dam. Best match of the gauntlet so far, which isn't really saying much, but a solid match. RVD hits a Five-Star Frogsplash for the win to move on.

It's a battle of the frogsplashes next as RVD battles D'Lo Brown, and they pick right up where they left off last week in a fantastic match. D'Lo grabs a handful of tights on a roll-up for the cheap win, knocking RVD out of contention. RVD walks off in anger as D'Lo celebrates being one win away from a TV Title shot.

Taiyo Kea is D'Lo's last opponent in the series, and D'Lo definitely takes him lightly. However during a moment of distraction, RVD returns to the ring and takes D'Lo out with a big kick allowing Kea to hit the Hawaiian Smasher for the upset victory! Afterwards, RVD hits the Five-Star Frogsplash and plays to the crowd. He winds up hitting another and another, which pops the crowd huge before walking off, leaving D'Lo laying.

Stephanie McMahon is backstage, and she congratulates Kea on his win and makes the Backlash match official - Brock Lesnar defending the Television Title against Taiyo Kea!

And now for our huge main event as the WWE Champion The Rock takes on Television Champion Brock Lesnar. Neither title is on the line, but a ton of bragging rights are. These two continue to show that they have remarkable chemistry as they put on another great show. The end comes as Rock prepares to hit the Rock Bottom, only to get blindsided by a flying leg lariat from Sabu! The homicidal, genocidal, suicidal, death-defying maniac goes to work on Rock, picking up on what he did last week.

"Pomp And Circumstance" hits the speakers, and the crowd erupts. The announcers lose their shit as "Macho Man" Randy Savage comes to the ring. He gets in Sabu's face and tells him that what he just did to Rock may have flown in those other places, but that's not the way we do things here. If Sabu wants his shot at The Rock, he'll get it. But he has to wait until Backlash! Rock and Sabu stare each other down as RAW fades to black.

[loopydate]

MARCH 28, 2005 - MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Tonight, the last Feast or Famine battle royal will result in at least one RAW Superstar losing his job while another will battle Brock Lesnar for the Television Title later on. A huge tag team main event will feature three men with Backlash in their sights, and Stephanie McMahon will have an announcement about the state of the Women's Title.

But first, six of the more popular members of the RAW roster meet up in a tag match. In a twist, whoever takes the fall will be entered in the FoF battle royal and may lose his job or may earn a shot at Brock Lesnar's TV Title! New Jack teams with the New Age Outlaws to take on Erik Watts, Rick Steiner, and Sonny Siaki. Gunn plays the babyface in peril early until he manages to tag in New Jack, who goes to work on Siaki. In a smart move, the Outlaws, Steiner, and Siaki do most of the heavy lifting for the match, with Gunn finishing off Steiner with the Fame-Ass-Er. Rick Steiner now has to face nine other men to keep his job tonight. After the match, Watts is favoring his arm, and it looks to be a bicep injury.

Two of the more gimmicky members of the RAW roster are up next as Val Venis takes on Disco Inferno. Solid match between the two veterans that ends with Val hitting the Money Shot.

The ring is full as we come back from break as ten men enter the Feast or Famine battle royal. Remember, the winner will face Brock Lesnar later tonight for the Television Title. The first man eliiminated will lose his job, and anywhere from zero to eight more will join him in the unemployment line, thanks to a random draw from Eric Bischoff. The longer you last, the better your chance of survival! Unfortunately, we know Test is gone, as Sylvan Grenier takes him out early. Co-Tag Team Champion Ron Simmons is in danger as well as Grenier's former partner Rob Conway takes him out. Conway's current partner Nick Dinsmore takes out Tommy Dreamer, then Grenier gets a second elim by dumping Simon Diamond to the floor. In a surprise, Haas eliminates the man who turned him to the darkside, Undertaker, and the man in black is not happy. Grenier's run comes to an end at the hands of Dinsmore, while Haas continues to look good, taking out Conway. It's down to Dinsmore, Haas, and Steiner for a shot at Lesnar! Haas eliminates Steiner, then turns right into a big German suplex from Dinsmore that allows the Lord Of The Ring to win the battle royal and earn the title shot!

Al Snow appears on the TitanTron and tells us what we already know, that Test has been fired. He then goes on to say that Mister Bischoff drew the number four earlier tonight, which means that Ron Simmons, Tommy Dreamer, and Simon Diamond will be joining him. With Ron Simmons fired, what does that mean for the World Tag Team Titles?

Back from break, Stephanie McMahon is in the ring with the Women's Title. She announces that, due to the injury suffered by Trish Stratus, the title is now vacant and tonight, we will see the beginning of a seven-Diva tournament to crown a new champion. Former champion Mickie James has a first-round bye and will face the winner of our first match next week on RAW!

The first two Divas to compete are former champions Gail Kim and Molly Holly. They put on a fantastic display of what the WWE Women's Division is all about with Molly picking up a clean win with the Molly Go Round to advance.

The division's two best high-fliers are up next as Lita faces Trinity. At one point during the match, Trinity uncovers the top turnbuckle, which comes into play when she slingshots Lita face-first into it, then rolls her up with her feet on the ropes for the cheap win. Trinity hops the barrier and flees through the crowd to prevent Lita from getting her revenge.

Our final first-round tournament match pits two of the division's mainstays Victoria and Jazz against each other one more time. Solid match, but not quite on par with the Molly/Gail masterpiece from earlier. In the end, it's Victoria hitting the Widow's Peak for the big win.

Back from commercial, "Macho Man" Randy Savage is in the ring! He says that he personally banned Rob Van Dam and D'Lo Brown from the building tonight, since they can't seem to co-exist in the same arena. With that in mind, he's going to give them a chance to settle their differences at Backlash!

Earlier tonight, Nick Dinsmore won the Feast or Famine battle royal to earn this next match. Brock Lesnar, the first-ever WWE Television Champion is eager to prove why he's still the best in the business, and he puts on a show tonight. Dinsmore looks like a million bucks by keeping up for the first part of the match, but Lesnar puts him away with the F-5 for the clean win. After the match, Lesnar continues to pummel Dinsmore with hard punches before walking off with the title.

In our main event, the man who will challenge for the TV Title at Backlash, Taiyo Kea teams with WWE Champion The Rock to face Rock's Backlash opponent Sabu and co-Tag Team Champion (for how much longer?) John Layfield! Solid match between these four that ends with Lesnar making his presence felt again as he confronts Kea, allowing Sabu to take him out with an Arabian Facebuster. After the match, the three heels work over Rock and Kea as we fade to black.

Sabu got planted. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Taiyo Kea uses move #193 (arm-BAR). Sabu comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Sabu DDTs Kea, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Brock Lesnar has climbed up onto the apron! Kea turns...and falls for the distraction! Sabu attacks Kea from behind! Sabu has Taiyo Kea down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Arabian Facebuster!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Kea \ Rock are left down and out in the ring thanks to the attack of Layfield, Sabu and Lesnar. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that.

[loopydate]

MARCH 25, 2005 - SMACKDOWN!

Two championship matches, plus the second Feast Or Famine battle royal and a huge tag-team main event headline tonight's edition of SmackDown! But first, it's tag team action as the Dudley Boyz take on the team of Just Joe and Michael Shane. Joe and Shane work pretty well together as a team, but the experience advantage of Bubba and D-Von proves to be too much and Shane falls to the 3-D.

Back from commercial, ten superstars have filled the ring. Two nights ago, four Superstars superstars were given their pink slips. Eric Bischoff will be sending a representative to fire up to nine tonight, depending on the random number he draws. One man will face Damien for the United States Title tonight, everyone else is at risk! The match goes on for a while before the first elimination, but Avery Thompson is the first to go, courtesy of "Primetime" Elix Skipper. Thompson knows that unless Bischoff draws a zero, his WWE career has just come to an end. Shortly thereafter, Grandmaster Sexay dropkicks Spike Dudley over the top and to the floor. John Morrison sends Kid Romeo out next, followed by Air Paris taking out Chris FUCKING Sabin. Morrison gets his second elimination, sending Primetime out after Sabin, then quickly adds Joel Maximo to his hit list. But he takes a moment to celebrate, which allows Sexay to eliminate him as well. Then there were three, and one of them will face Damien for the United States Title tonight! Paris is the eighth man out, courtesy of Nova, leaving Nova and Grandmaster Sexay as the final two! The two friends put on a decent cruiserweight exhibition, but in the end it's Nova hitting the Spin Doctor allowing him to dump Sexay to the floor and earn the title shot.

"Psycho" hits the speakers, and the crowd isn't quite sure what to make of it until Sid (?!?) appears on the ramp dressed in an impossibly big suit. He announces that he's Eric Bischoff's disciplinary representative on SmackDown! He requests that the ten participants in the battle royal re-enter the ring. He says that, unlike Vince Russo on Wednesday night, he's not going to just read names. Because he is the master (and ruler) on Friday nights, he's going to do things his own way. He enters the ring and stares down the the ten of them. He then quickly turns and blasts Avery Thompson with a big boot to the face. He grips Spike Dudley around the throat and chokeslams him! He then grabs Kid Romeo and plants him with a powerbomb! He wheels on Chris Sabin who strikes a fighting pose. Sid starts laughing, then walks off. "If you're still standing, Mister Bischoff will see you in the ring next week."

Six-man cruiserweight action is next as X-Pac teams with Shark Boy and Jose Maximo to take on Chavo Guerrero, Nunzio, and one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions Jeff Hardy. Decent match, but disappointing considering some of the talents involved. The heels get the win after Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb on Shark Boy.

Earlier tonight, Nova outlasted nine SmackDown superstars to earn this shot against the monstrous United States Champion Damien! Nova bumps like a madman for Damien, but he eventually catches the champion with a surprise high-flying move and takes advantage. Damien gets himself into a corner, and the referee pulls Nova off. As he turns to check on Damien, a mysterious masked man in green blasts Nova with a steel chair from behind! He slides out of the ring, allowing Damien to hit a Chokeslam for the win. After the match, Damien and his skull-masked associate put the boots to Nova. Damien gets Nova up on his shoulders for an electric chair while the man in green heads up to the top rope. He leaps off, then grabs the back of Nova's neck as Damien releases, turning the move into a modified Flatliner off his shoulders!

Damien grabs a microphone after the beating. He introduces his new associate as former WCW star Mortis. Together, they are going to take over Friday nights. Because starting tonight, there is no stopping Darkness Rising!

Three ECW alumni are out next for a three-way hardcore match as Perry Saturn, Sandman, and Steve Corino go toe-to-toe(-to-toe?). Terrible match that Corino puts to a merciful end by hitting the Old School Explosion on Sandman.

Last week, Eddie Guerrero failed to win the NWA Title after getting blasted in the head by Jeff Jarrett's guitar. Tonight, he has another chance to walk away with gold as he faces Cruiserweight Champion Matt Hardy Version 2.0! At one point, Eddie hits the Three Amigos, then heads to the top rope. However, he is distracted by Jarrett, who walks out onto the ramp. The momentary distraction allows Matt to slam Eddie from the top and hit the Twist of Fate for the win. After the match, Jarrett again takes Eddie out with a guitar shot.

The NWA Champion remains in the ring after the break, and he's got a match against Shelton Benjamin. Solid match that Jarrett wins with the Stroke. Afterwards, Eddie gets a measure of revenge, jumping Jarrett and hitting a Frogsplash! The camera catches a glimpse of Shelton Benjamin's bloody nose afterwards. Preliminary reports are that it's broken, but he shouldn't miss any time.

Randy Orton is in the ring after the break, talking about his loss to Rey Mysterio last week. He says that actions always have consequences. And for what Rey did last week, there will most certainly be a Backlash.

Tajiri comes to the ring next, as he's Orton's partner in tonight's main event against Mysterio and the manbeast Rhyno!

Rey. Rey counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Rey hits a dropkick on Randy Orton. Tag between Rey Mysterio and Rhyno. Rhyno bodyslams Randy Orton. Tag to Tajiri. Flying shoulder tackle by Rhyno sends Tajiri to the mat. Tajiri is in trouble. Gore! GORE! GOOOOOOOORE!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! The fight has started up again! Rey \ Rhyno attacks Orton \ Tajiri, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting. A **** rating for a good contest. Very good tag match that ends with Rhyno hitting the Gore and the babyfaces stand tall as we fade to black.