The United Paper Bags of TPWW (The UPB of TPWW): **UPDATED cabinet positions on page 1 only**

[XCaliber]

Since I am a Cody Rhodes fan I would really like one of these.

[Beth Phoenix Fan]

Originally Posted by XL That is awesome.

[Flash Funk]

Huge LockJaw fan here, but I would like to think I had a little bit to do with the bag movement.

[The Naitch]

Official updated cabinet positions please refer to PAGE 1

I nominate myself Vice-President. I get to be in the limelight, but don't have to carry the responsibilities

we might have to get rid of some of these positions since we might not even know what some of them mean

suggestions are welcome

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presidency_of_Barack_Obama

scroll down to the right and each positions' duties are described when clicked on the proper position

[VSG]

lol

[The Jayman]

Secretary of State right here

[The Naitch]

done, I am editing the list as we go along

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Attorney General!

Warning!!! Do not remove your bag because of a serious chance of getting a paper cut in the neck regions.

That is all.

[The Naitch]

Roles of the Vice President (The Naitch) The Paper Bag Constitution limits the formal powers and role of Vice President to becoming President should the President become unable to serve (due to the death, forum banning, resignation, or medical impairment of the President), and to acting as the presiding officer of the United Paper Bag Senate. The Vice President will become the President if the President can not do so

[The Naitch]

Roles of The United Paper Bags Secretary of State (The Jayman) The Jayman is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of State, concerned with foreign affairs. The Secretary is a member of the Paper Bag Cabinet and the highest-ranking cabinet secretary both in line of succession and order of precedence. The current Secretary of State is The Jayman, the 1st poster, to hold the post.

[The Naitch]

[The Naitch]

The United Paper Bags Attorney General (SlickyTrickyDamon) is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of Justice (see 28 U.S.C. § 503) concerned with legal affairs and is the chief law enforcement officer of the United Paper Bags government. The Attorney General is considered to be the chief lawyer of the U.P.B government. The Attorney General serves as a member of the President's Cabinet, and is the only cabinet department head who is not given the title Secretary, besides the now independent Paperbagmaster General. The Attorney General is nominated by the President of the United Paper Bag and takes office after confirmation by the United Paper Bag Senate. He or she serves at the pleasure of the President and can be removed by the President at any time; the Attorney General is also subject to impeachment by the House of Representatives and trial in the Senate for "treason, bribery, and other high crimes and misdemeanors." The office of Attorney General was established by Congress by the Brown Act of 2011. The original duties of this officer were "to prosecute and conduct all suits in the Supreme Court in which the United Paper Bags shall be concerned, and to give his advice and opinion upon questions of law when required by the President of the United Paper Bags, or when requested by the heads of any of the departments."[1] Only in 2011 was the Department of Justice established to support the Attorney General in the discharge of his responsibilities. No lazyness tolerated

[The Jayman]

My Other Duties: Advises the President on matters relating to foreign policy, including the appointment of diplomatic representatives to other nations, and on the acceptance or dismissal of representatives from other nations. Participates in high-level negotiations with other countries, either bilaterally or as part of an international conference or organization, or appoints representatives to do so. This includes the negotiation of international treaties and other agreements.

[The Jayman]

It is also my duty to please that booty

[Shadrick]

Secretary of Defense, baby.

[The Naitch]

The Secretary of Defense (SecDef Shadrick) is the head and chief executive officer of the Department of Defense of the United Paper Bags of TPWW. This position corresponds to what is generically known as a Deleted Posts Defence Minister. Under the direction of the President, the Secretary of Defense has authority, direction and control over the Department of (Deleted Post) Defense, and is designated by statute as the principal assistant to the President in all matters relating to the Department of Defense.[1] The Secretary of Defense is in the chain of command for all Department of Defense forces; i.e. Mod Abuse Corps; for both operational and administrative purposes. Only the Secretary of Defense (and the President) can authorize the transfer of forces from one Combatant Command to another.[2][3][4][5] The Chairman of the Joint Smoking Indian Chiefs of Staff is the principal military adviser to the Secretary of Defense, and to the President. The Secretary of Defense is appointed by the President with the advice and consent of the Senate, and is a member of the Cabinet and the National Security Council. Per federal law (10 U.S.C. § 113), a person may not be appointed as Secretary of Defense within seven years after relief from active duty as a commissioned officer of a regular component of an armed force.[6] Secretary of Defense is a Level I position of the Executive Schedule and thus earns a salary of $1 per year.

[VSG]

What? A dollar per year? No wonder they are so corrupt over in the pentagon.

[The Naitch]

it's all Lock Jaw's fault

[Ermaximus]

I'll take a spot.

[The Naitch]

there are many spots available pick your poison

[The Naitch]

except for President, I'm leaving that to Cock Jaw or whoever founded this whole mess in the first place

OUT OF RESPECT

[Ermaximus]

Chief of Staff sounds easy enough.

[The Naitch]

The roles of the Chief of Staff Ermaximus are both managerial and advisory and can include the following -Select key Brown House staff and supervise them. Keeps a close eye on Xero's masturbation logs to make sure any ZeeBoe activity doesn't go down -Structure the Brown House staff system. Makes sandwiches. -Control the flow of people into the Brown Office. Makes coffee. -Manages the flow of information and other things that fit in brown paper bags (ie. fruit, granola bars, rice krispy squares, sandwiches, pudding, jello, juices, pepperoni sticks, and cigarettes) -Protect the interests of the President and Vice president (ie. brings them tea and biscuits, hookers and blow etc.) -Negotiate with Congress, other members of the executive branch, and extragovernmental political groups to implement the President's agenda and the Vice President's HIDDEN agenda

[Ermaximus]

Oh hell no. I'm not making you people coffee. That's an entry level job. Change me to secretary of education instead. I'd rather be in charge of building a better repor of the forums youth.

[The Naitch]

no coffee....just wanted to see if you had balls to speak up against it. IT WAS A TEST. I like YOUR FIRE. We need someone who isn't afraid to voice HIS CONCERNS.

We'll let Xero do all the bitchwork, but he better not take 3 hours doing it though

[The Naitch]

unless you still wanna be Secretary of Education

[Ermaximus]

Xero can't do bitch work, he's above that. Leave the bitch work for someone like SaskatchewanChamp or something.

[Shaved Monkey]

Ooh. Secretary of Homeland Security.

[The Naitch]

The United Paper Bag Secretary of Homeland Security (Shaved Monkey) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of Homeland Security, the body concerned with protecting the TPWW homeland and the safety of the Paper Bag BRETHREN. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet. The position was created by the Homeland Security Act following various SERVER OVERLOADS and any possible v.W.o terrorist attacks. The new department consisted primarily of components transferred from other cabinet departments because of their role in homeland security, such as the Brown Guard, Protective Brown Service, United Paper Bag Customs and Forum Border Protection (which includes the Forum Border Patrol), Secret Service, and the Forum Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and keeping a close eye on the Vietnemese Crippler and his stranglehold on the tech forum . It did not, however, include Jabba's vise-like grip on the c-fed forum.[1] On January 20, 2009, the Senate confirmed The Naitch's appointment of Shaved Monkey to be the 1st Secretary of Homeland Security.[2] To assure a smooth transition however, Lara Emily aka Larry Emilio was asked to use the mens' washroom if ever she/he steps foot in the Brown House for we do not recognize her/his sex change as legitimate.

[Flash Funk]

I shall take Secretary of the Interior

[SaskatchewanChamp]

I sometimes wondered why the IWC got the heat it does, and now looking at how you guys mark out for a stupid Phantom of The Opera gimmick. Not to mention this clown will NEVER be above Mid-card. I now know why people like Bishoff, and most of the wrestlers in the business today think you all are fucking useless fat virgin cunts.

[The Naitch]

An exert from our very first newsletter. A preview...

Remembering our forefathers... The Revolution has gone INTERNATIONAL... It trancends genders and SPECIES.... Our movement permeates through high fashion... ...BALLIN! This one is a special collector's edition, designed AND INSPIRED by Innovator And when you see SaskatchewanChamp, just throw this over his head...

[Shaved Monkey]

The United Paper Bag Secretary of Homeland Security (Shaved Monkey) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of Homeland Security, the body concerned with protecting the TPWW homeland and the safety of the Paper Bag BRETHREN. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet. The position was created by the Homeland Security Act following various SERVER OVERLOADS and any possible v.W.o terrorist attacks. The new department consisted primarily of components transferred from other cabinet departments because of their role in homeland security, such as the Brown Guard, Protective Brown Service, United Paper Bag Customs and Forum Border Protection (which includes the Forum Border Patrol), Secret Service, and the Forum Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and keeping a close eye on the Vietnemese Crippler and his stranglehold on the tech forum . It did not, however, include Jabba's vise-like grip on the c-fed forum.[1] On January 20, 2009, the Senate confirmed The Naitch's appointment of Shaved Monkey to be the 1st Secretary of Homeland Security.[2] To assure a smooth transition however, Lara Emily aka Larry Emilio was asked to use the mens' washroom if ever she/he steps foot in the Brown House for we do not recognize her/his sex change as legitimate.

I promise that no harm will ever come to us. My brown shirts will keep us safe and pure for all eternity.

[The Naitch]

The United Paper Bag Secretary of the Interior (Flash Funk) is the head of the United Paper Bag Department of the Interior. The UPB Department of the Interior should not be confused with the concept of Ministries of the Interior as used in other countries. Ministries of the Interior correspond primarily to the Department of Homeland Forum Security in the UPB cabinet and secondarily to the Department of Sid Justice. The Department of the Interior oversees such agencies as the Bureau of Wrestling Forum Management, the United Paper Bag Geological Survey (and the study of various rocks), and the National Forum Park Service. The Secretary also serves on and appoints the private citizens on the National Forum Park Foundation board. The Secretary is a member of the President's Cabinet. Because the policies and activities of the Department of the Interior and many of its agencies have a substantial impact on TPWW.net and SaskatchewanChamp's mother,[1] the Secretary of the Interior typically comes from a vBulletin state; only one of the individuals to hold the office since 2009 is not identified with a state lying west of the TPWW.net green & blue color schemes. The Secretary of the Interior is eighth in the United Paper Bag presidential line of succession.

[XCaliber]

I've got dibs on the Secretary of Treasury cuz I like me some money money yeah yeah but seriously though I still need a paper bag for my avatar.

[The Naitch]

The Secretary of the Treasury (XCaliber) of the United Paper Bags is the head of the United Paper Bags Department of the Treasury, which is concerned with financial and monetary matters, and, until 2003, also with some issues of national security and defense. This position in the Forum Government of the United Paper Bags is analogous to the Minister of Finance in many other countries. Most of the Department's law enforcement agencies such as the UPB Customs Service, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF), and the U.S. Secret Service were reassigned to other Departments in 2003 in conjunction with the creation of the Department of Homeland Security. The Secretary of the Treasury is a member of the President's Cabinet, and since the Anybody Thrilla Administration, has been a member of the U.S. National Security Council. By law and by tradition, the Secretary of the Treasury is fifth in the United Paper Bags presidential line of succession, in case of some extreme calamity or forum crash courtesy of Triple A getting too much semen on his keyboard. "The Secretary of the Treasury is the principal economic advisor to the President and plays a critical role in policy-making by bringing an economic and government financial policy perspective to issues facing the government. The Secretary is responsible for formulating and recommending domestic and international financial, economic, and tax policy, participating in the formulation of broad fiscal policies that have general significance for the economy, and managing the public debt. The Secretary oversees the activities of the Department in carrying out its major law enforcement responsibilities; in serving as the financial agent for the United Paper Bags Government; and in manufacturing coins, currency, and "MAD FLOW". "The Chief Financial Officer of the government, the Secretary serves as Chairman Pro Tempore of the President's Economic Policy Council, Chairman of the Boards and Managing Trustee of the Social Security and Medicare Trust Funds, and as U.S. Governor of the International Monetary Fund, the International Bank for Reconstruction and Development, the Inter-American Development Bank, the Asian Development Bank, and the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development." The Secretary along with the Treasurer must sign Federal Reserve notes before they can become legal tender.[citation needed] The Secretary also manages the United Paper Bags Emergency Economic Stabilization fund. The Secretary of the Treasury earns $1.25 per year.

[Lock Jaw]

Originally Posted by XCaliber but seriously though I still need a paper bag for my avatar.

[DAMN iNATOR]

I'll take one...*if* I can be assigned to the post of Ambassador to the U.N.

EDIT: AND if you can provide two bags...one for each in my avatar. Please.

[XCaliber]

Thanks Naitch I'll try not to spend that all in one place it's time to party!



Woohoo!

Originally Posted by Lock Jaw

No need to get mad you are WINNING!

[Nervous Ferret]

First black prez