State of the WWE

Welcome to the second edition of the greatest wrestling column on the internet, mine. Now I know how much you lesser mortals like my column and apologize in advance. For you see I was going to write it yesterday but got pleasantly distracted so wasn’t able to get it down, I apologize. But we are here now, and you can stop worrying.
For this edition I decided to scrap Smackdown altogether (as WWE did along time ago it seems) and just focus on Raw and the upcoming PPV Bad Blood. Now this PPV has a long and crappy history for those of you interested. You can probably look it up on WWE’s site, because frankly I don’t care about it’s history (as I’m sure most of you don’t). As for the two of you that do give a damn about it’s history too bad, because I’m not getting into it. Personally I wouldn’t order this PPV if they paid me to, it is just that bad.
First we have The Canadian Crippler (and I will always call him that) Chris Benoit who is wrestling two matches (one for a title he doesn’t need). The only way this should happen is if there is a feud going on between him and the General Manager, but there isn’t. Now I know WWE is trying to start one, but how many times must we see this. I personally am sick to death of the wrestler vs. his boss feud. We seen it beat to death with Austin and McMahon. I’m tired of it, if the WWE writers can’t come up with something new, then just give up. Go back to writing for the Young and The Restless there you can repeat eight million times and no one gives a shit, you can even use clone storylines (oh, aw). I still can’t believe this one though. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Chris Benoit should not be competing for the tag titles, since he is the World Champion, He does not need two titles. If he’s the only contender they could get then leave the belts off the card, hell drop them altogether, no tag teams there’s no reason to have tag titles. Now the only good I can see coming out of this tag title match is if Edge turns on Benoit, and feuds with him for the World Championship, that’s it.
We also have Eugene Vs. Coach, EUGENE VERSUS COACH! This is just appalling, on a PPV. Eugene is a joke, a stupid joke and the Coach isn’t a wrestler. The scary part is Coach is undefeated on PPV’s and Eugene is undefeated. That is just ridiculous. I can’t describe how bad this match is going to be in words, it’s just English doesn’t have the words. The only good that can come out of this match is that somehow the rafters fall and they’re both killed. Now that I’d pay to see.
The brilliant Women’s match, now this is brilliant it just shows I was right in my last column. There’s no feud in the women’s division, not a one. The only thing that comes close is Molly Holly and Victoria, and Molly isn’t in this match. Instead we have Victoria (a undeserving women’s champ), Trish (The triple H of the women’s division), Lita (she just plain sucks), and Gail Kim (is too green for the title). Place your bets people, two of the women above are involved in feuds with men (Trish, Lita) and one is too green. This is an easy match to call, let’s just pray they have some sort of a feud started from this. We all know they won’t, I say they just scrap the women’s title now, and have them just walk around all night in Bikini’s that’s what they’re used for anyway. We can save everyone some trouble, get rid of a useless title, and get what they want to give us anyhow.
I’m not even going to bother with Triple H and Shawn Michaels. We all know what they’re going to do, put on a brutal match. It will be violent and spectacular, but we’ve seen it. The only interesting thing about this match is that rumor has it both Triple H and HBK are leaving after this match. So enjoy it because this may be the last time we see either of them till Summerslam.
Shelton Benjamin and Randy Orton may also be a good match. I imagine these two could put on quite a show, as long as there is no interference. Knowing the WWE there will be, just to extend the feud. While this is a good idea, it would be best just to let them duke it out, and put on a good match. Make the fans happy for once, by letting them go at it.
The only match I haven’t touched on so far is Jericho and Tomko, and I’m not touching this one with a ten foot pole. In my opinion the fans have already spoken on this match, they hate it. Didn‘t you hear about the house show, where the fans were disappointed. But the WWE doesn’t really have a choice now do they , they have to put Jericho against a big guy with a horrible mouthpiece (Trish). Christian is gone for a while and this is what we have to put up with. It’s a shame too that feud was just getting really good, well it’ll be dead by the time Christian comes back, along with Jericho’s career if he jobs to Tomko.
That’s all for now, I may post another this week for Smackdown or I may not. If you people ever send me a decent e-mail I may post it in my column.

Dangerously
s_w_sanders@usa.com

[Kane Knight]

Eugene called, he wants his gimmick back.

In a word: paragraphs.

[HankScorpio]

Who allowed this man a keyboard?? surely a speak and spell is too advanced for him.

[big_bluto]

Originally Posted by Dangerously If I offended any of you, sorry for being a dick, and refusing to take on board any of the points from my previous posts. Dangerously Close to a live internet connection

^^^^^^
Fixed It!

[Goldbird]

Originally Posted by Funky Fly In a word: paragraphs.

He doesnt have the "Enter" key

Originally Posted by Dangerously I can’t describe how bad my command of English in words, it’s just English doesn’t have the words.

This is what it should be...

[Favre4Ever]

For starters, i've started my own program to counter Dangerously, "Hulkamania's Soap Box!", which is shown once a week. In most peoples eyes, its a refreshing taste of good ideas and readable sentences.

The Terrible Bad Blood Theory- Kevin Nash vs. Triple H in HIAC wasn't that bad. It was a Hell in a Cell match. It would take someone terrible to botch it (ahem Bossman), an neither of those guys are terrible performers. I'm not saying they're good....just not terrible.

Trish is the Triple H of the Womens division? Give me a second so I can let some oxygen back into my brain.
Ahem......people like Trish, as a character in general. Shes talented, though a bit repetitive. She hasn't wrestled for the Title, or even conendership, for months.Shes no Triple H.

I agree with support beams falling on Eugene and Coach. Can't dispute ya there. But I think Eugene should GET UP after it hits him and start laughing hysterically as if a leaf just fell on him! All the while, Coach lies dead next to him. It would really empower his whole angle.

We've seen Triple H vs. HBK. A million times, your correct. But not in the Cell. And the Cell could make D'lo Brown vs. Funaki look amazing. I don't think anyone is prepared for what were about to see.

Tomko,Jerichos career, Christian, Jerichos missing title shot, blah blah blah.......

[The One]

Wait wait wait....hulkamania....

Kevin Nash isn't a terrible performer? WHO IS? Kevin Nash is lazy, slow, hs a small...*clears throat*....move set, and it boring to watch. On the mic he is entertaining, he is abig, but that's it. He is not a talented performer...and honestly the match was terrible.

And as for the "Hell in a Cell could make D'lo Brown and Funaki look amazing"....Hell in a Cell is a hype. If you buy the hype ok...but at least choose people who have a history of bad matches to pick on. I suspect you are quite markish and know nothing of Funaki's in ring skill or for that matter D'lo Brown's. The two of them could have a perfectly fine entertaining match on there own...and the added cell around the ring would have little to do with it.



Oh yeah...and Dangerously, you sir are a dumbass.

[.44 Magdalene]

Originally Posted by The One Dangerously, you sir are a dumbass.

Originally Posted by hulkamania320 Hulkamania = Assface.

I guess columns that don't nearly repeat what other people are saying verbatim, with slightly less accurate logic, are difficult to write.

[Wildcat789]

I don't even understand why he still continue's to waste MY air. I mean, it's people like him who take away from the lifespans of other, more deserving people.

In short, die.

[Favre4Ever]

Woah now......i wasn't exactly insulting D'lo and Funaki, i like D'lo myself, all im saying is that Hell in a Cell is a great career builder, and i was using lower tier wrestlers as an example.

And i'm sorry, but I enjoyed the Nash/HHH Hell in a Cell. I can't really change my mind about one, but I can definitly understand why people hate it. And believe it or not, I liked Jericho/Nash as well. Go on, flame me.

[The One]

Looking back I may have jumped the gun on insulting your liking of the Nash/HHH Cell Match....more so I was just outragged by the fact you seemed to dog on Funaki...and D'lo to a lesser extent. I can't tell you what matches to like or dislike...so enjoy Nash matches if you will...

My point about dangeriously being a tool still stand though.

Originally Posted by The One My point about dangeriously being a tool still stand though.

I think he secretly works for the WWE, and is just trying to get us to watch the shows.