The OFFICIAL RAW Thread for 01/21/13: Punk's Last Week as Champ? Also Now With 11% Less Divas. - Page 13

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 01:04 AM

I loved the CM Punk/Rock segments. It was a nice twist on the typical "ROFL I GOTTA TICKET!! HAHAHAHA" schtick. Only thing that sucks is it really feels like The Rock is winning the WWE Championship on Sunday.

**Poit** · 01-22-2013, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Steele

I am just surprised that Brad Maddox propositioned Paul Heyman for sex in exchange for a job with his stable.

I thought it was kinda hot.

The Brad Maddox part of that. Not the Paul Heyman part of that.

**Poit** · 01-22-2013, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supreme Olajuwon

Did you all see Tb1 and the Fraze (but not Poit

) during the Rock's segment

I was next to Tb1, but my short stature makes me harder to see.

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 01:58 AM

GAH. I can't stand WrestleCrap anymore. I just read their RAW Report, and it is nothing but typical smark bitching, whining, and jokes that have been driven into the ground for years.

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 01:59 AM

http://www.wrestlecrap.com/eventcent...overage-12113/

Live Monday Night Raw Coverage, 1/21/13

11 Submitted by Justin Henry on Mon, 21 January 2013, 19:53

8:00: The annual MLK acknowledgement plays, although I notice Vince no longer dubs over the tribute. Geez, the election left some people bitter.
8:02: Heyman and Vickie are here to make sure the crowd is nice and agitated for when Punk comes out, in their continuing goal to ensure the fans can’t cheer for who they like. If Vince ran a convenience store, he’d make sure the highest selling items remained in storage until they went stale.
8:05: Vickie’s against showing the fans a recap video. For once, Vickie, I’d have to say I agree.
8:08: For those of us who miss the Attitude Era, we have the evil boss using the police to keep the bald main eventer from entering the arena. Here comes that 4.6 rating they’ve been missing since about 2002.
8:09: Pretty sure that one cop is Jay Glazer on stilts.
8:12: Vickie should never scream any of Rock’s catchphrases. Or talk. In any form.
8:14: So it’s a Beat the Clock Challenge featuring Orton, Cesaro, and a host of others. The winner gets to enter the Rumble at the number of their choosing. Which means one of two possible outcomes.
-Someone other than Cena wins, and they choose #30.
-Cena wins, gets #1 to prove his valiance, and goes the distance to win. Valiantly.
8:16: Continuing a recent trend, Antonio Cesaro’s entrance is condensed. He’s not the only one, as they’ve been slashing entrances on all the shows, probably for TV limitations. When you have to whittle down entrances on a 3-hour show, chances are you’re airing lotsa crap. Anyway, he gets Orton in the first Beat the Clock challenge.
8:19: Know what would be great? If the ref mistakenly counted 3 about 10 seconds into this match. What would WWE do for the rest of the show? Watching them try to work in the quickest squashes possible would be great.
8:20: Cole’s lost his mind. He said “the last 25 years of this event”. Doesn’t he know that LAST YEAR was the 25th anniversary? He spent all of January last year telling us that.
8:22: Random thought: The Divas Beat-the-Clock clock probably maxes out at 90 seconds.
8:25: Coming out of commercial. Hey, wouldn’t it be great if the match ended DURING commercial? Anyone remember Raw 20 years ago when Mr. Perfect vs. Rick Martel ended during commercial? Anyone? No? Fine.
8:27: Lawer: “Hashtag Beat the Clock is trending worldwide!” C’mon, Jerry, don’t steal Cole’s bit. He doesn’t steal your little fistdrop, does he?
8:30: Orton pins Cesaro with the RKO at 11:36. I hope Orton wins the challenge, so he can say “I want #30″, and then Cena can bitch at him for being a coward and turning on the WWE Universe or something equally cockamamie, and then they can feud for a year, and leave the people I enjoy watching alone.

8:33: After the Foley HOF package, Lawler declares that he can’t think of anyone more deserving of going into the Hall. That isn’t kept out for political reasons, anyway.
8:35: For unemployed rogues, The Shield sure have great production values on their video packages. You’d think Vickie would try to using Jay Glazer and the other rent-a-cops to keep them out of the arena, but you’d be thinking too hard.
8:37: If the Shield are fighting for justice, I’ll believe in their abilities when I hear the words “Hall of Famer Randy Savage.”
8:40: Big Show and Zack Ryder are next, with the outcome very much in doubt if this is your first time watching. If you think about it, if WWE didn’t have a Wellness Policy, Alberto Del Rio would still be a heel.
8:41: Highlight of the year so far: Brad Maddox commandeering the announce table, and Lawler briefly giving Cole a “Who’s he, again?” look.
8:42: In the time it took me to write that anecdote, Show wins with the WMD. That will teach Ryder to work hard, get over and his own, and market himself wisely! In your FACE, Zack!
8:47: The Allstate ads were the people are dubbed over by Dennis Haysbert will always suck until one of them features an old lady saying, “Cerrano no hurt living thing!”
8:48: Ryback vs. Heath Slater in what will be the second squash match in a row. And here I was hoping LAST week’s Raw would give me 1995 flashbacks. But can this really be a squash? These 2 headlined Summerslam 2010, which I’m sure WWE remembers.
8:50: It’s over already? What an upset!
8:52: After listening to Ryback cut his short promos, I’m wishing he would become the new Ultimate Warrior and cut crazed, incoherent, rip-snorting, flying-out-of-the-bowels-of-hell life-affirming promos. Of course, in order to do that, he’d probably commit two Wellness Violations for one piss.
8:55: Vickie to Rock: ”Inside that ring, CM Punk will be inside that ring”. She’s well on her way to conquering Hop on Pop with that type of linguistic logic.
8:57: Older Asian gentleman in the Allstate ad: “F–k you, Jobu!”
8:59: Punk is here, and he’s still getting a great pop, in spite of WWE’s best efforts. Seriously, if WWE wants the crowd to boo the hell out of him, just have him come out to Cena’s music.
9:07: Punk wraps up an 8-minute standup on Rock and the Royal Rumble and the WWE Championship, and I find myself amazed. Not just by the promo (one of his better ones in a long time), but by the way in which WWE allows their heels to be so honest, without needing goofy insults or petty jokes. Guys like Punk, Sandow, Cesaro, and others speak plainly from the heart, earning even grudging respect from true believers, while the alternative are heroes who make dick and fart jokes. It’s like creative doesn’t realize that the fans cheer for honesty, because they watch the shows, and they appreciate honesty.
In other words, Punk being a heel is still perplexing to this day.

9:12: Did you know WWE beat ESPN in the ratings last Monday? Of they did, football wasn’t on.
9:14: Ziggler and Miz are next in the Beat the Clock challenge, and AJ is extra ass-tastic in her gray jeggings. I appreciate that WWE edited the Miz “figure four” from last week, chopping it up so that it looks like he applied it in one motion. The editing staff is to The Miz what Howard K Stern was to Anna Nicole Smith, minus the “writing themself in the will” part.
9:16: “Let’s go Ziggler!” A) a few smarks, B) a vocal minority, C) half the crowd? Hint: Miz’s face turn hasn’t exactly taken.
9:23: San Jose was so busy following NHL lockout news over the past 4 months, nobody told them that the Miz turned face. Dolph’s face turn, per their cheers, surprises me, though.
9:25: ALLEGED FIGURE FOUR. Ziggler is so disgusted by Miz’s lack of coordination that he spikes Miz with the Zig Zag to win with 40 seconds left. 10:56 is the time to beat, giving Cena ample time to OVERCOME THE ODDS.
9:27: Kane and Daniel Bryan apparently now have Randy Savage’s entrance music.

9:33: So it’s an actual anger management graduation for Kane and D-Bry. Dr. Shelby, for some reason, eschewed the traditional mortarboard for a La Resistance beret.
9:36: Given the use of Pomp and Circumstance, the beard, and the awesomeness, maybe Bryan IS the new Savage. He just needs a vegan Slim Jim.
9:37: So it’s sight gags, and the same jokes we’ve had for the past 4 months. To heighten the ill feeling I’m having, the crowd chants for Dr. Shelby. Hugging ensues.
9:41: Remember when they said Bryan losing in 18 seconds to Sheamus was only going to lead to bigger, greater things? I hope “they” all have IBS now.
9:46: Eve’s not the first non-wrestling fan Diva to say “I don’t need WWE!” eventually. Also, I just realized Kaitlyn’s the only 100% Caucasian-American diva on a roster of 10 other women….and she’s the champion. DIVERSITY.
9:49: Kaitlyn beats Alicia with a spear while Tamina looks on. Hoping for a Jimmy/Tamina Snuka training vid, where they practice bashing a dummy’s head on a radiator, set to “No Easy Way Out”.
9:53: Heyman interprets Punk’s promo from an hour ago for the fans. Is the replay machine broken? Is he going to do interpretive dance? Oh, I get it. because Punk got cheered earlier, Heyman’s giving the HEEL version of it, that fans can’t HELP but boo. Bell rings, dog comes. I get it.
9:56: The Rock finally gets into the arena, after buying the police officer’s ticket. And here I thought he would NEVER get in, and be forced to leave! This is a totally unexpected development! I just wonder why I don’t get theme music when I scalp a ticket. Err, buy. Buy a ticket.
9:58: Rock, 8:10 PM: “Punk is a fake champion.” Rock now: “Punk has earned the right to be called champion.” F–k, he’s Cena in reverse!
10:01: Rock: “I’ve worked my ass off for 10 years to get this shot!” I know, I was lobbying for him to get a shot after The Tooth Fairy. The only highlight here is Punk’s disgust at Rock invoking MLK into this. And lookie here, the Shield has jumped Rock. How great can Rock be as a person if his own cousin will powerbomb the s–t out of him in the name of justice?
10:11: Sheamus and Wade Barrett is the final Beat the Clock challenge. If Barrett loses, is this the first time both secondary champions have jobbed clean on the same free TV show? Other than last week. And the week before. And the week….
10:14: Social media observation: Anyone who still refers to Ambrose as ‘Moxley’ doesn’t refer to Dolph as ‘Nicky’. Must be a smark thing.
10:18: We return from break with 5 minutes left. Hard to maintain a sense of drama and urgency with a Little Caesar’s ad halfway through.
10:21: Cole declares it to be “Gut Check” time, as I’m hoping Taz and Snow vote no on Sheamus’ face persona. White Noise connects, and Sheamus stares at the clock like any good idiot babyface would. The Dolphtourage distracts, and Barrett gets the Winds of Change for 2.
10:24: Sheamus lands the Brogue, but can’t cover in time, and Dolph gets his choice of number. I think Dolph will choose #30, in honor of the max. number of hours it takes for WWE Creative to forget that’s being pushed.
10:30: Vickie informs Dolph, after he kisses AJ in front of her, that the numbers he can choose from are 1 and 2. C’mon, Vickie, you weren’t half as disgusted when Eddie was banging Chyna!
10:32: Hey, they dusted Vince off! He informs Punk that if the Shield interferes at the Rumble, Punk gets stripped of the title. Apparently, the boss doesn’t like Punk insulting the audience’s intelligence. Guess Vince copyrighted that concept.
10:38: Boos for Miz, cheers for Punk, lukewarm reaction for Del Rio. It’s like the audience was sequestered for 2 months, and are basing their reactions accordingly. Or WWE just sucks at doing turns today, who knows. Well, actually, I do know.
10:41: Crowd’s rallying behind Del Rio, since his opponent is Tensai. The “Si si si” kick is a big thing. In 3 months, he’ll be going “no no no”, while attending anger management sessions. Or not.
10:43: Del Rio wins with a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Had he hit it, Tensai would be F–KING DEAD, BRO.

10:45: BOB BACKLUND’S GOING TO THE HALL OF FAME! I’m going just to enjoy 45 minutes of him talking in crazed fashion. Sheik needs to induct him. I’m not kidding.
10:50: John Cena’s here to talk about the Rumble, or something that will get a lower rating than the suits at Titan can comprehend. He gets all jokey with the fans, and actually comes off a bit wittier than usual. Of course, that’s like saying, “Lindsay Lohan is slightly more coherent today than she usually is” while she’s unable to chew gum without straining her neck.
10:56: Cena’s channeled his “1991 Roddy Piper” for this promo. He’s only at about a 4.5 on the John Cena Scale of Douchiness. I’m fine with this level.
10:57: Cena wraps up promising to win, and Sheamus cuts him off. I’m having horrid 2009 flashbacks, but no worries, as it leads to many proclamations from many competitors, as to their aspirations of victory. Prime Time Players, Randy Orton, The Miz, Kane, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, The Three Man Band, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Epico, Primo, Brodus Clay, JTG, Great Khali, The Usos, Michael McGillicutty, Justin Gabriel, Ryback, and a few others I didn’t catch.
Bottom Line: They hyped the hell out of the 2 big matches (Punk/Rock, Rumble), and there was a minimum of garbage, so it’s a win. Show still needs to be 2 hours, though.

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 02:01 AM

Do these mother fuckers actually think their funny or is most of the IWC actually like St. Jimmy?

**Mister King** · 01-22-2013, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith

SPOILER: show

so sick of that commercial

**Mister King** · 01-22-2013, 02:05 AM

I guess WrestleCrap really goes all out on their recaps

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 02:13 AM

RD Reynolds still makes HHH/Stephanie jokes. Come on.

**Poit** · 01-22-2013, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Steele

I just wonder why I don�t get theme music when I scalp a ticket. Err, buy. Buy a ticket.
...
Boos for Miz, cheers for Punk, lukewarm reaction for Del Rio.

In California, it's only scalping if the ticket is sold for a profit.

What boos for Miz? In the section we were in, Miz got nothing but positive reactions. And everyone at ringside was going crazy for Del Rio & Ricardo.

Stupid Wrestlecrap.

**Juan** · 01-22-2013, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Steele

Do these mother fuckers actually think their funny or is most of the IWC actually like St. Jimmy?

Yes and yes

**Juan** · 01-22-2013, 02:23 AM

Was really cool seeing Del Rio get that reaction. Hopefully it's not just a "northern California" thing

**Mister King** · 01-22-2013, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Steele

RD Reynolds still makes HHH/Stephanie jokes. Come on.

they do realize it's 2013 right?

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 02:26 AM

Wrestlecrap does still provide some unstoppable laughter. Reading an induction on Roddy Piper's "Fitness/Self-Defense" Video from like 1992 and it has this GIF from the self-defense section on what kids should do when trying to get away from a stranger:

**Poit** · 01-22-2013, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juan

Was really cool seeing Del Rio get that reaction. Hopefully it's not just a "northern California" thing

They picked a good series of cities to establish his face turn. Let's see how he does in Sacramento for Smackdown.

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 02:31 AM

**Mister King** · 01-22-2013, 02:50 AM

that is so unbelievably bad.

**The Fraze** · 01-22-2013, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Innovator

I marked out hard for Fraze being shown starting a chant for the Rock

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cool King

As did I.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Supreme Olajuwon

Did you all see Tb1 and the Fraze (but not Poit

) during the Rock's segment

Boom, felt like a little kid.

**The Fraze** · 01-22-2013, 04:06 AM

Just saw the two biggest jabroni's in the game on @wwe. @kevinmcagle and @thefraze408 #TheFrazeIsTheNextPeoplesChamp
� Billy In Nor Cal (@BillyInNorCal) January 22, 2013

**The Fraze** · 01-22-2013, 04:27 AM

**James Steele** · 01-22-2013, 05:23 AM

Next week is RAW Roulette -- Last time WWE had RAW Roulette, CM Punk did the now infamous "shoot".

**Innovator** · 01-22-2013, 07:39 AM

I do like the Cena scale of douchiness

**ClockShot** · 01-22-2013, 07:41 AM

Bummer ducked out early last night and missed Del Rio.

Oh well.

**Shadrick** · 01-22-2013, 07:48 AM

That Raw recap was atrocious and painfully unfunny.

**Krimzon7** · 01-22-2013, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith

SPOILER: show

looks like a registered sex offender right here! LMAO!!!

**mike adamle** · 01-22-2013, 09:22 AM

I hope how they ended Raw tonight isn't how they end the Royal Rumble. Punk/Rock is gonna be huge and needs to end the show.

**mike adamle** · 01-22-2013, 09:23 AM

Would be like Royal Rumble 2000. Have an AWESOME Title match and then a snoozer of a Rumble match.

**MIZantine Empire** · 01-22-2013, 10:53 AM

Wasn't there a rumble like that not to long ago? Where the rumble wasn't the closer?

**Schlomey** · 01-22-2013, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIZantine Empire

Wasn't there a rumble like that not to long ago? Where the rumble wasn't the closer?

2006 I believe

**mike adamle** · 01-22-2013, 11:02 AM

Who's gonna be starting with Dolph? Prob Ryback so he can eliminate Dolph first and then everybody after him one at a time.

**Flash Funk** · 01-22-2013, 12:10 PM

Dolph having the longest time and making the final four is a stone cold lock.

**Flash Funk** · 01-22-2013, 12:10 PM

Also, I try not to be a Cena hater, but last night was really bad.

**Heisenberg** · 01-22-2013, 01:34 PM

I couldn't stomach through the 3 hours, gonna save the last 2 hours for before the Rumble.

**Heisenberg** · 01-22-2013, 01:35 PM

Literally, Creatine gave me the bubbleguts and I didn't feel like shitting on my furniture.

**The Fraze** · 01-23-2013, 05:03 AM

**Razzamajazz** · 01-23-2013, 01:48 PM

cookie puss

**SlickyTrickyDamon** · 01-23-2013, 06:56 PM

Can't believe there hasn't been a backlash for Rock saying Tits yet.

**Keith** · 01-23-2013, 07:32 PM

I was a bit surprised when Rock said to "stick it straight up your candy-ass".

01-22-2013, 04:06 AM	#499
The Fraze Fuck em' this is The War Posts: 7,935	Just saw the two biggest jabroni's in the game on @wwe. @kevinmcagle and @thefraze408 #TheFrazeIsTheNextPeoplesChamp � Billy In Nor Cal (@BillyInNorCal) January 22, 2013

01-22-2013, 01:04 AM	#481
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	I loved the CM Punk/Rock segments. It was a nice twist on the typical "ROFL I GOTTA TICKET!! HAHAHAHA" schtick. Only thing that sucks is it really feels like The Rock is winning the WWE Championship on Sunday.

01-22-2013, 01:58 AM	#484
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	GAH. I can't stand WrestleCrap anymore. I just read their RAW Report, and it is nothing but typical smark bitching, whining, and jokes that have been driven into the ground for years.

01-22-2013, 01:59 AM	#485
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	http://www.wrestlecrap.com/eventcent...overage-12113/ Live Monday Night Raw Coverage, 1/21/13 11 Submitted by Justin Henry on Mon, 21 January 2013, 19:53 8:00: The annual MLK acknowledgement plays, although I notice Vince no longer dubs over the tribute. Geez, the election left some people bitter. 8:02: Heyman and Vickie are here to make sure the crowd is nice and agitated for when Punk comes out, in their continuing goal to ensure the fans can’t cheer for who they like. If Vince ran a convenience store, he’d make sure the highest selling items remained in storage until they went stale. 8:05: Vickie’s against showing the fans a recap video. For once, Vickie, I’d have to say I agree. 8:08: For those of us who miss the Attitude Era, we have the evil boss using the police to keep the bald main eventer from entering the arena. Here comes that 4.6 rating they’ve been missing since about 2002. 8:09: Pretty sure that one cop is Jay Glazer on stilts. 8:12: Vickie should never scream any of Rock’s catchphrases. Or talk. In any form. 8:14: So it’s a Beat the Clock Challenge featuring Orton, Cesaro, and a host of others. The winner gets to enter the Rumble at the number of their choosing. Which means one of two possible outcomes. -Someone other than Cena wins, and they choose #30. -Cena wins, gets #1 to prove his valiance, and goes the distance to win. Valiantly. 8:16: Continuing a recent trend, Antonio Cesaro’s entrance is condensed. He’s not the only one, as they’ve been slashing entrances on all the shows, probably for TV limitations. When you have to whittle down entrances on a 3-hour show, chances are you’re airing lotsa crap. Anyway, he gets Orton in the first Beat the Clock challenge. 8:19: Know what would be great? If the ref mistakenly counted 3 about 10 seconds into this match. What would WWE do for the rest of the show? Watching them try to work in the quickest squashes possible would be great. 8:20: Cole’s lost his mind. He said “the last 25 years of this event”. Doesn’t he know that LAST YEAR was the 25th anniversary? He spent all of January last year telling us that. 8:22: Random thought: The Divas Beat-the-Clock clock probably maxes out at 90 seconds. 8:25: Coming out of commercial. Hey, wouldn’t it be great if the match ended DURING commercial? Anyone remember Raw 20 years ago when Mr. Perfect vs. Rick Martel ended during commercial? Anyone? No? Fine. 8:27: Lawer: “Hashtag Beat the Clock is trending worldwide!” C’mon, Jerry, don’t steal Cole’s bit. He doesn’t steal your little fistdrop, does he? 8:30: Orton pins Cesaro with the RKO at 11:36. I hope Orton wins the challenge, so he can say “I want #30″, and then Cena can bitch at him for being a coward and turning on the WWE Universe or something equally cockamamie, and then they can feud for a year, and leave the people I enjoy watching alone. 8:33: After the Foley HOF package, Lawler declares that he can’t think of anyone more deserving of going into the Hall. That isn’t kept out for political reasons, anyway. 8:35: For unemployed rogues, The Shield sure have great production values on their video packages. You’d think Vickie would try to using Jay Glazer and the other rent-a-cops to keep them out of the arena, but you’d be thinking too hard. 8:37: If the Shield are fighting for justice, I’ll believe in their abilities when I hear the words “Hall of Famer Randy Savage.” 8:40: Big Show and Zack Ryder are next, with the outcome very much in doubt if this is your first time watching. If you think about it, if WWE didn’t have a Wellness Policy, Alberto Del Rio would still be a heel. 8:41: Highlight of the year so far: Brad Maddox commandeering the announce table, and Lawler briefly giving Cole a “Who’s he, again?” look. 8:42: In the time it took me to write that anecdote, Show wins with the WMD. That will teach Ryder to work hard, get over and his own, and market himself wisely! In your FACE, Zack! 8:47: The Allstate ads were the people are dubbed over by Dennis Haysbert will always suck until one of them features an old lady saying, “Cerrano no hurt living thing!” 8:48: Ryback vs. Heath Slater in what will be the second squash match in a row. And here I was hoping LAST week’s Raw would give me 1995 flashbacks. But can this really be a squash? These 2 headlined Summerslam 2010, which I’m sure WWE remembers. 8:50: It’s over already? What an upset! 8:52: After listening to Ryback cut his short promos, I’m wishing he would become the new Ultimate Warrior and cut crazed, incoherent, rip-snorting, flying-out-of-the-bowels-of-hell life-affirming promos. Of course, in order to do that, he’d probably commit two Wellness Violations for one piss. 8:55: Vickie to Rock: ”Inside that ring, CM Punk will be inside that ring”. She’s well on her way to conquering Hop on Pop with that type of linguistic logic. 8:57: Older Asian gentleman in the Allstate ad: “F–k you, Jobu!” 8:59: Punk is here, and he’s still getting a great pop, in spite of WWE’s best efforts. Seriously, if WWE wants the crowd to boo the hell out of him, just have him come out to Cena’s music. 9:07: Punk wraps up an 8-minute standup on Rock and the Royal Rumble and the WWE Championship, and I find myself amazed. Not just by the promo (one of his better ones in a long time), but by the way in which WWE allows their heels to be so honest, without needing goofy insults or petty jokes. Guys like Punk, Sandow, Cesaro, and others speak plainly from the heart, earning even grudging respect from true believers, while the alternative are heroes who make dick and fart jokes. It’s like creative doesn’t realize that the fans cheer for honesty, because they watch the shows, and they appreciate honesty. In other words, Punk being a heel is still perplexing to this day. 9:12: Did you know WWE beat ESPN in the ratings last Monday? Of they did, football wasn’t on. 9:14: Ziggler and Miz are next in the Beat the Clock challenge, and AJ is extra ass-tastic in her gray jeggings. I appreciate that WWE edited the Miz “figure four” from last week, chopping it up so that it looks like he applied it in one motion. The editing staff is to The Miz what Howard K Stern was to Anna Nicole Smith, minus the “writing themself in the will” part. 9:16: “Let’s go Ziggler!” A) a few smarks, B) a vocal minority, C) half the crowd? Hint: Miz’s face turn hasn’t exactly taken. 9:23: San Jose was so busy following NHL lockout news over the past 4 months, nobody told them that the Miz turned face. Dolph’s face turn, per their cheers, surprises me, though. 9:25: ALLEGED FIGURE FOUR. Ziggler is so disgusted by Miz’s lack of coordination that he spikes Miz with the Zig Zag to win with 40 seconds left. 10:56 is the time to beat, giving Cena ample time to OVERCOME THE ODDS. 9:27: Kane and Daniel Bryan apparently now have Randy Savage’s entrance music. 9:33: So it’s an actual anger management graduation for Kane and D-Bry. Dr. Shelby, for some reason, eschewed the traditional mortarboard for a La Resistance beret. 9:36: Given the use of Pomp and Circumstance, the beard, and the awesomeness, maybe Bryan IS the new Savage. He just needs a vegan Slim Jim. 9:37: So it’s sight gags, and the same jokes we’ve had for the past 4 months. To heighten the ill feeling I’m having, the crowd chants for Dr. Shelby. Hugging ensues. 9:41: Remember when they said Bryan losing in 18 seconds to Sheamus was only going to lead to bigger, greater things? I hope “they” all have IBS now. 9:46: Eve’s not the first non-wrestling fan Diva to say “I don’t need WWE!” eventually. Also, I just realized Kaitlyn’s the only 100% Caucasian-American diva on a roster of 10 other women….and she’s the champion. DIVERSITY. 9:49: Kaitlyn beats Alicia with a spear while Tamina looks on. Hoping for a Jimmy/Tamina Snuka training vid, where they practice bashing a dummy’s head on a radiator, set to “No Easy Way Out”. 9:53: Heyman interprets Punk’s promo from an hour ago for the fans. Is the replay machine broken? Is he going to do interpretive dance? Oh, I get it. because Punk got cheered earlier, Heyman’s giving the HEEL version of it, that fans can’t HELP but boo. Bell rings, dog comes. I get it. 9:56: The Rock finally gets into the arena, after buying the police officer’s ticket. And here I thought he would NEVER get in, and be forced to leave! This is a totally unexpected development! I just wonder why I don’t get theme music when I scalp a ticket. Err, buy. Buy a ticket. 9:58: Rock, 8:10 PM: “Punk is a fake champion.” Rock now: “Punk has earned the right to be called champion.” F–k, he’s Cena in reverse! 10:01: Rock: “I’ve worked my ass off for 10 years to get this shot!” I know, I was lobbying for him to get a shot after The Tooth Fairy. The only highlight here is Punk’s disgust at Rock invoking MLK into this. And lookie here, the Shield has jumped Rock. How great can Rock be as a person if his own cousin will powerbomb the s–t out of him in the name of justice? 10:11: Sheamus and Wade Barrett is the final Beat the Clock challenge. If Barrett loses, is this the first time both secondary champions have jobbed clean on the same free TV show? Other than last week. And the week before. And the week…. 10:14: Social media observation: Anyone who still refers to Ambrose as ‘Moxley’ doesn’t refer to Dolph as ‘Nicky’. Must be a smark thing. 10:18: We return from break with 5 minutes left. Hard to maintain a sense of drama and urgency with a Little Caesar’s ad halfway through. 10:21: Cole declares it to be “Gut Check” time, as I’m hoping Taz and Snow vote no on Sheamus’ face persona. White Noise connects, and Sheamus stares at the clock like any good idiot babyface would. The Dolphtourage distracts, and Barrett gets the Winds of Change for 2. 10:24: Sheamus lands the Brogue, but can’t cover in time, and Dolph gets his choice of number. I think Dolph will choose #30, in honor of the max. number of hours it takes for WWE Creative to forget that’s being pushed. 10:30: Vickie informs Dolph, after he kisses AJ in front of her, that the numbers he can choose from are 1 and 2. C’mon, Vickie, you weren’t half as disgusted when Eddie was banging Chyna! 10:32: Hey, they dusted Vince off! He informs Punk that if the Shield interferes at the Rumble, Punk gets stripped of the title. Apparently, the boss doesn’t like Punk insulting the audience’s intelligence. Guess Vince copyrighted that concept. 10:38: Boos for Miz, cheers for Punk, lukewarm reaction for Del Rio. It’s like the audience was sequestered for 2 months, and are basing their reactions accordingly. Or WWE just sucks at doing turns today, who knows. Well, actually, I do know. 10:41: Crowd’s rallying behind Del Rio, since his opponent is Tensai. The “Si si si” kick is a big thing. In 3 months, he’ll be going “no no no”, while attending anger management sessions. Or not. 10:43: Del Rio wins with a moonsault that doesn’t connect. Had he hit it, Tensai would be F–KING DEAD, BRO. 10:45: BOB BACKLUND’S GOING TO THE HALL OF FAME! I’m going just to enjoy 45 minutes of him talking in crazed fashion. Sheik needs to induct him. I’m not kidding. 10:50: John Cena’s here to talk about the Rumble, or something that will get a lower rating than the suits at Titan can comprehend. He gets all jokey with the fans, and actually comes off a bit wittier than usual. Of course, that’s like saying, “Lindsay Lohan is slightly more coherent today than she usually is” while she’s unable to chew gum without straining her neck. 10:56: Cena’s channeled his “1991 Roddy Piper” for this promo. He’s only at about a 4.5 on the John Cena Scale of Douchiness. I’m fine with this level. 10:57: Cena wraps up promising to win, and Sheamus cuts him off. I’m having horrid 2009 flashbacks, but no worries, as it leads to many proclamations from many competitors, as to their aspirations of victory. Prime Time Players, Randy Orton, The Miz, Kane, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, The Three Man Band, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Epico, Primo, Brodus Clay, JTG, Great Khali, The Usos, Michael McGillicutty, Justin Gabriel, Ryback, and a few others I didn’t catch. Bottom Line: They hyped the hell out of the 2 big matches (Punk/Rock, Rumble), and there was a minimum of garbage, so it’s a win. Show still needs to be 2 hours, though.

01-22-2013, 02:01 AM	#486
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	Do these mother fuckers actually think their funny or is most of the IWC actually like St. Jimmy?

01-22-2013, 02:05 AM	#488
Mister King boring Posts: 51	I guess WrestleCrap really goes all out on their recaps

01-22-2013, 02:13 AM	#489
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	RD Reynolds still makes HHH/Stephanie jokes. Come on.

01-22-2013, 02:23 AM	#492
Juan Doin' It Right Posts: 35,461	Was really cool seeing Del Rio get that reaction. Hopefully it's not just a "northern California" thing

01-22-2013, 02:26 AM	#494
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	Wrestlecrap does still provide some unstoppable laughter. Reading an induction on Roddy Piper's "Fitness/Self-Defense" Video from like 1992 and it has this GIF from the self-defense section on what kids should do when trying to get away from a stranger:

01-22-2013, 02:31 AM	#496
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886

01-22-2013, 02:50 AM	#497
Mister King boring Posts: 51	that is so unbelievably bad.

01-22-2013, 04:27 AM	#500
The Fraze Fuck em' this is The War Posts: 7,935

01-22-2013, 05:23 AM	#501
James Steele TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04 Posts: 29,886	Next week is RAW Roulette -- Last time WWE had RAW Roulette, CM Punk did the now infamous "shoot".

01-22-2013, 07:39 AM	#502
Innovator Inno Knows. Posts: 43,710	I do like the Cena scale of douchiness

01-22-2013, 07:41 AM	#503
ClockShot TPWW Fire Pro Champ Posts: 34,002	Bummer ducked out early last night and missed Del Rio. Oh well.

01-22-2013, 07:48 AM	#504
Shadrick The black Corey Graves Posts: 3,602	That Raw recap was atrocious and painfully unfunny.

01-22-2013, 09:22 AM	#506
mike adamle His name is Jeff Harvey Posts: 5,256	I hope how they ended Raw tonight isn't how they end the Royal Rumble. Punk/Rock is gonna be huge and needs to end the show.

01-22-2013, 09:23 AM	#507
mike adamle His name is Jeff Harvey Posts: 5,256	Would be like Royal Rumble 2000. Have an AWESOME Title match and then a snoozer of a Rumble match.

01-22-2013, 10:53 AM	#508
MIZantine Empire Posts: 891	Wasn't there a rumble like that not to long ago? Where the rumble wasn't the closer?

01-22-2013, 11:02 AM	#510
mike adamle His name is Jeff Harvey Posts: 5,256	Who's gonna be starting with Dolph? Prob Ryback so he can eliminate Dolph first and then everybody after him one at a time.

01-22-2013, 12:10 PM	#511
Flash Funk Noid approved Posts: 508	Dolph having the longest time and making the final four is a stone cold lock.

01-22-2013, 12:10 PM	#512
Flash Funk Noid approved Posts: 508	Also, I try not to be a Cena hater, but last night was really bad.

01-22-2013, 01:34 PM	#513
Heisenberg Quality Meme Producer Posts: 19,372	I couldn't stomach through the 3 hours, gonna save the last 2 hours for before the Rumble.

01-22-2013, 01:35 PM	#514
Heisenberg Quality Meme Producer Posts: 19,372	Literally, Creatine gave me the bubbleguts and I didn't feel like shitting on my furniture.

01-23-2013, 05:03 AM	#515
The Fraze Fuck em' this is The War Posts: 7,935

01-23-2013, 01:48 PM	#516
Razzamajazz it's really real meat Posts: 7,366	cookie puss

01-23-2013, 06:56 PM	#517
SlickyTrickyDamon Quark is Less Impressed. Posts: 38,371	Can't believe there hasn't been a backlash for Rock saying Tits yet.

01-23-2013, 07:32 PM	#518
Keith Posts: 3,525	I was a bit surprised when Rock said to "stick it straight up your candy-ass".