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Old 06-26-2018, 09:56 PM   #9801
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I'll see what I think when I get another chance at it but I remember really hating it.

When I was drinking I ways convinced Casey Affleck was bullshit. I thought The Assassination Of Jesse James was the worst western I had ever seen. It wasn't until 2016 or so that I rewatched it sober and realised I had been hating the things that made it a masterpiece.

I don't hold up much hope for anything so I may be surprised. I fucking hate Jena Malone though so maybe not.
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Old 06-26-2018, 09:59 PM   #9802
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Originally Posted by Lock Jaw View Post
You could include a few plot spoiler filled comments in a spoiler tag below yur review if you wanted to.....


I think I will if it feels necessary at the time. I am against spoiling things for others and spoiler tags can fail miserably if somebody screws up a quote so I may just give oblique references to the general plot.
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Old 06-27-2018, 12:15 AM   #9803
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It's one of those films that has everything going for it but the story. It's the Emperor's New Clothes to sell a story with so little to it off the back of others desire to feel smart or cool.

I could be wrong, I find myself occasionally rewatching a once hated film and finding more merit in it the second time around. I was an alcoholic for a long time so I essentially have to re-evaluate my tastes a lot these days. I gave away my copy of Darko but I'll rewatch it the next time it's on TV.
You're an alcoholic for the rest of your life! You're sober, but you're still an alcoholic!

Don't you remember all that bullshit they say in therapy?

It's the tits.
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:50 PM   #9804
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Moviepass #70 Jurassic World 2 - 5/10 they couldnt be bothered to put some effort into the sequel i cant be bothered to put effort into a review
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Old 06-27-2018, 04:38 PM   #9805
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That's pretty much a perfect burn for a bad film.
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Old 06-28-2018, 05:28 PM   #9806
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I'm watching the Shape Of Water. The first 15 minutes are not encouraging. This is one of those films I'm liable to throw in the bin.
I know that this is an homage and good natured rib on old style horror and the steam punk fantasy but come off it. This is like modern art, the joke costs too damned much to be worth the punchline.

To use some antiquated language: So far it's about a masturbating mute with obvious and revolting mental retardation, Richard Jenkins plays a neurotic old queen and Michael Shannon hasn't turned up to save me from killing myself yet.
Octavia Spencer is still sassy and black, Wanda Sykes must have lost the coin flip.
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Old 06-28-2018, 05:32 PM   #9807
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This is why I've owned a copy of Amelie for over a decade and have never even popped it in the disc drive.
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Old 06-28-2018, 05:41 PM   #9808
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Michael Shannon pulled this whole film up a notch just by walking into a bathroom, giving a little pointer on piss and walking out chewing gum.
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Old 06-28-2018, 05:52 PM   #9809
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A man who had his fingers bitten off and reattached would not be bending them a day or so afterwards. Not today. Not in the 60's.

Everything in this is designed to inflate and inflame my prejudices.
Stop getting whimsy wrong. It's not whimsical, it's weird.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:21 PM   #9810
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Now there's Nick Searcy playing a murderous military oaf keen for vivisection.
I feel like this is trying to be to horror as Airplane! was to comedy or Warrior was to martial arts movies. It's choc full of tropes but I don't like any of them. They just make me confused for the hype.

This is like every film Maila Nurmi ever made fun of.

Rod Serling was coining these quasi-profound truly maudlin tropes back when he was busy writing, creating and overseeing the Twilight Zone... and that was half a decade before the time in which this film is set.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:39 PM   #9811
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Michael Stuhlbarg is the best thing about this but to be fair the acting is all on point. Nobody is outright bad besides the lead and that is clearly an issue of fucking terrible writing and direction.

I am tired of pretty films that have nothing new to say. I'm appalled that this film won Best Picture. I may actually keep this as a reminder never to go full price on a film I'm unsure of ever again.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:48 PM   #9812
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I can imagine Roger Corman has a few scripts exactly like this just tucked away in six foot tall piles, yellowing and curling at the edges as the years go by.

He probably has more than one film actually made involving females that fall in love with unusual creatures.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:50 PM   #9813
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Ray Harryhausen would have done incredible things with this.

Next up Quentin Tarantino remakes the "Confessions Of..." series replacing all of the sex with foot stuff. Confessions Of A Shoe Salesman.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:07 PM   #9814
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This film just pinched an excerpt from MotherHorseEyes.

Unless MotherHorseEyes lifted it first that whole unborn, unmade dialogue looks to be a pretty obvious rip.

Maybe Lovecraft used to say that stuff first. Del Toro seems to like lifting from him.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:38 PM   #9815
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The Shape Of Water - 1.5/4

A derivative, hammy, camp and consistently predictable "tropestry" that should hang on the Wall of Shame.

This is not a good movie.
One positive is that despite the shamefully mediocre material Richard Jenkins, Michael Shannon, Octavia Spencer, Nick Searcy and especially Michael Stuhlbarg play their parts very well.
This Sally Hawkins was unknown to me before and hopefully will fizzle back into annihilation because I think she's really quite bad. She shouldn't shoulder the blame for her character being entirely unappealing but anybody who makes me wish a mute cleaning lady would die, in a film where the mute cleaning lady is supposedly the heroine, cannot be a good actress.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:41 PM   #9816
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I enjoyed Shape of Water. Not an absolute masterpiece or anything, but I enjoyed watching it.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:48 PM   #9817
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How many times have you flooded your bathroom in an attempt to get laid now anyway?

So many unnecessary deaths.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:52 PM   #9818
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It was a charming little tale of beastiality
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:57 PM   #9819
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It was exactly that. The beast just wanted an egg. Pavlov was kinder to dogs than that naked mute simpleton was to the creature.
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Old 06-28-2018, 07:58 PM   #9820
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Splash Noir that movie was. It even fucking had the same ending as Splash. I didn't get why everyone loved it.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:00 PM   #9821
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So many things that annoyed me about it. Generic ass Octavia Spencer playing a sassy black woman for the millionth time. Random gay side story. Really random musical number.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:02 PM   #9822
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Baby Driver is another hugely hyped film that I just couldn't get behind with the way everybody else amped up the hype. It was so mediocre. Just an obvious collection of cut and pastes that could fit into any film of the same genre and already belong to others.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:03 PM   #9823
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I was quite grossed out by it but only in the parts that were supposed to evoke the beauty of love.

It was repugnant really.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:04 PM   #9824
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It was a charming little tale of beastiality
You'd fuck it if it were female and had big boobs.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:05 PM   #9825
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Lock Jaw, would you fuck the sea creature from Shape of Water for $10k?
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:10 PM   #9826
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Yeah man, seems like it would really know what it is doing
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:47 PM   #9827
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Would you do it for just $5k?
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:49 PM   #9828
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Changed my mind on the whole thing. Don't want to have to flood my bathroom and then have to pay for repairs and have construction workers taking over a year to repair it.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:58 PM   #9829
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Ask the construction workers to convert your bathroom into a water tank.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:01 PM   #9830
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Maybe LJ hires each construction crew to finish a different part of his H.H.Holmes murder mansion. That's why it's taking so long.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:43 PM   #9831
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Citizen Kane - Not Impressed/10
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:51 PM   #9832
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lock Jaw View Post
Changed my mind on the whole thing. Don't want to have to flood my bathroom and then have to pay for repairs and have construction workers taking over a year to repair it.
How would that be different than your life right now other than a little dampness?
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Old 06-28-2018, 10:26 PM   #9833
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Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Damian Rey 2.0 got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
I liked both Baby Driver and Shape of Water. Neither of which were my favorite films of last year.
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Old 06-30-2018, 09:58 AM   #9834
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Sicario: Day of the Soldado-7/10

Nowhere near as engrossing or thrilling as the first. The main plot is a bit murky and the subplot doesn't pay off. But it's still a well shot, tense and at times violent movie carried by its performers and maybe there is more in the tank based on the ending
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Old 06-30-2018, 06:37 PM   #9835
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Swing Time 3.5/10
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Old 07-01-2018, 05:00 AM   #9836
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Hell or High Water-9/10

Excellent modern heist themed western with great character work across the board, pacing and scenery. Loved every minute of it.
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Old 07-02-2018, 12:37 AM   #9837
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Moviepass #71 Uncle Drew - 7.5/10 good for what it was and actually one of the funnier movies I've seen although Tiffany Haddish is reaching high level of annoyance factor

Moviepass #72 Oceans 8 - 8/10 I did really enjoy it and I'm pretty sure it was at leAst better than 12 and 13.
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Old 07-02-2018, 08:52 AM   #9838
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Ocean's 8 -- 7.5/10

Didn't expect it to be good but I enjoyed it. Cate Blanchett, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Paulson all really good.
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Old 07-03-2018, 01:20 AM   #9839
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Rampage - 7.2/10

I love the rock so i like everything he is in so the score reflects that. Definitely good for your hollywood blockbuster over the top action movie. Movie moved at a nice pace and kept me interested throughout. Poor Jeffery Dean Morgan was more or less cowboy Negan in this. I know the man has acting chops so not real sure why he got typecasted or typecasted himself. Do kinda wish rock was opposite zoe Saldana though as i quite love her and the actress in this reminded me of her. Zoe would have just had the better ass to watch running but i digress.

SPOILER: show
If i am allowed a bitch it would have to be the end where george, the fucking monster, just randomly helps a dude out of a window like "oh crazy monster gorilla isn't gonna eat me now." Really surprised they didnt pull a claasic scene from the game and had george reach into a building and eat someone. I guess that was Ackerman's scene but it just wasn't the same.

Good little action flick and my homo enhanced feelings for dwayne remains the same.

Last edited by Destor; 07-03-2018 at 12:07 PM.
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Old 07-03-2018, 03:01 AM   #9840
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Spoiler tags, fuck face.
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