The official wrestling sim topic

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Thunder Rosa.

Mmmm...I could get behind that....

AEW Dark: March 2, 2021: -Thunder Rosa def. Diamante -Wardlow def. QT Marshall -Dr. Britt Baker DMD def. Serena Deeb -Scopio Sky def. Isiah Kassidy -The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds, Colt Cabana, Evil Uno, John Silver, and Stu Grayson) def. Angelico, Jack Evans, Luther, Peter Avalon, and Serpentico

Women as the opening match reeks of middle fingers to the establishmentness!

AEW Dynamite: March 3, 2021 Segment 1: Not gonna lie, I can be a sucker for cold openings on a wrestling show, and that's what we get here as AEW World Champion Kenny Omega arrives at the building with his manager Don Callis, and he doesn't make it a few yards before "The Bastard" PAC pounces on him, still irate about being screwed out of the title on Sunday. Security has some early work to do to keep them apart. 89% overall

Man, what a sore loser PAC is. That was totally a clean finish at Revolution.

Segment 2: "The Machine" Brian Cage is here and he's pissed off, ready for a fight and the man who has the unfortunate task of facing him tonight is "The Bad Boy" Joey Janela. Janela being a tough bastard in his own right hangs in there as best he can but for the most part Cage is prolonging the inevitable. Taz, sitting in on commentary for this match, is ranting about Sunday's street fight that went awry, and says Darby Allin's business with Team Taz is far from over. ***1/4, 76% overall

Pfft, Taz on commentary. What promotion would ever make a move like that. I imagine Cage has some pretty good stats.

Segment 3: "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes makes his way out to the ring. He confirms the rumors that had been making their way around online in the past few days, AEW is ready to get back on the road and it all starts on Saturday, March 27th at Blood and Guts, with the fans getting the titular match they missed out on a year ago. Now, Tony Khan will be deciding who will be in the landmark match over the next week, but he's already thrown his hat in the ring, his dad was in so many matches like Blood and Guts over the years and he wants to continue carrying on his legacy. The music of Eddie Kingston hits, Eddie says it's bullshit that Cody's using his pull with the office to try to get into the match. He won on Sunday and citing his lengthy career in CZW and IWA Mid South, if anybody is suited for a Blood and Guts match, it's him. He gets in Cody's face, Cody shoves him back, and we've already got our second pull apart of the night with The Family and Natural Nightmares coming in as well, sounds like a future trios match to me! 90% overall

This is some good shit, sprinkled in with some classic "heel accuses face of receiving favoritism" whining. I'm not completely on board with bragging about CZW but use what you can I guess.

Segment 4: New AEW Women's World Champion Awesome Kong teamed with Dr. Britt Baker to take on Big Swole and former champion Hikaru Shida. This was more or less a showcase match for all four, Kong having some fiery brawls with Shida while also mixing it up with Swole for the first time. Baker has history with both opponents throughout 2020 so that was played up on as well. Kong and Shida eventually brawl out of the arena, as the ref tends to that, Britt pulls out her doctor's notebook and smacks Swole with it, she goes down like a stack of bricks...what is that thing made out of? Britt swipes the pinfall victory. **3/4, 73% overall

More importantly, where was Baker hiding that thing?

Segment 5: The Inner Circle are backstage in their dressing room, more infighting with even Jericho losing his patience especially after MJF's miscommunication at Revolution. MJF attempts to calm the mood and says the Young Buck problem will be tended to before long - Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager will get their turn tonight. Sammy gets in MJF's face and tells him to stay in the back this time. 95% overall

Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager = Sammy Hager

*facepalm* How did I not fucking get it all this time?

Segment 6: It's "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy vs. Jack Evans. I feel for TH2 (Jack Evans and Angelico) because while they're talented, they're almost certainly not going to be winning any matches for me as they're clearly at the bottom of the pecking order and I'm relatively low on jobbers since much of the actual enhancement guys are in the developmental system. I like to imagine when I don't book them on Dark, they're grabbing wins against the developmental guys. Be that as it may, the least I can do is give them the occasional showcase match and I do just that here, because hoooooly shit do these guys gel well. OC's still reeling from his match with Miro last weekend, allowing Evans to hang in there for a while before OC comes charging back and gets the win with the Stun Dog Millionaire. Camera cuts to Miro backstage, looking pissed that OC still has something in the tank. ****, 81% overall

"Freshly Squeezed". You can try to get TH2 more over by feuding them with another low-ranking team until the point where it's believable that they'd be beating some mid-card teams if you're high on them.

Segment 7: Sting and Darby Allin having a chat backstage for what amounts to an unofficial torch passing segment. 5 years ago, he never thought he'd get the chance to be in the ring again, the chance to get closure. He thanked Darby for allowing him to mentor him and fight Team Taz alongside him. Maybe he'll be lurking in the shadows again when he's needed, because the only thing that's for sure about Sting is that nothing's for sure. 84% overall

Oh, come on, I'm sure he's got one more battle for WCW's honor left in him.

Segment 8: Six man tag team action as SoCal Uncensored (Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian, and Scorpio Sky) face off against FTR and Shawn Spears. Tully Blanchard was mum as to why he brought Spears back into the fold this past Saturday, and why his former client is back under his tutelage. For now, the focus is just on some solid trios action. The 50 year old Daniels is, as you can expect, mostly being used to put over others at this point and on this night he takes a C4 for Spears as the Blanchard trio picks up an impressive win over the longtime SCU group. ***, 75% overall

Yikes, a smack of reality as I realize Daniels is 50. Has there been another guy like him where he's received chance after chance but never hit the upper echelon despite what he can do?

Segment 9: Matt Hardy flexing his agent skills once again got a match booked for "Hangman" Adam Page against a Dark Order member Coit Cabana. Hardy continues to try to sell Hangman on joining the Hardy brand and drive a wedge between him and his friendship with Dark Order. Page and Cabana have a spirited match, Page opting to fight clean again despite Matt yelling at him to do illegal stuff on the outside. Colt throws some Dusty-style elbows, Page is groggy in the corner, Colt signals that he's gonna go for the Flying Asshole but Hardy grabs his feet. Colt stomps him off, turns around into a Buckshot Lariat. Hangman wins and Matt comes in to celebrate and kick Colt when he's down. Page once again is like WTF man, I don't want to fight dirty. ***1/2, 82% overall

Quit being a pussy, Page! If that's what Matt wanted he'd have just stuck with his drugged out, rainbow-haired brother!

Segment 10: Jon Moxley cuts a promo from a shady back alley somewhere. Putting the Good Brothers through tables at Revolution was fun, but it's time to move onward and upward. Eddie Kingston wants to talk about the places he's been? Moxley has been there too...Blood and Guts is right up his alley, and he wants in. 90% overall

You can tell it was shady because you could spot David McLane in the back soliciting some corner girls.

Segment 11: The Young Bucks vs. Sammy Hager is the main event of the evening. Not sure what else to say about the Bucks at this point...they hit it out of the park in every match, I guess that tag experience rating really does make a difference. Anyway, Sammy works a similar fast paced, spotty style to the Bucks so I can see why that would work, whereas Hager is more of a brute strength change of pace. Inner Circle are shown backstage, Jericho wants to get the troops out there at one point but MJF talks him out of it. Sammy Hager come pretty damn close to pulling an upset on multiple occasions. Ultimately though, Hager is sidestepped and sent tumbling out of the ring leaving Sammy to take a Meltzer Driver for the big Bucks win. The celebration doesn't last long as the rest of the Inner Circle run out with MJF and an increasingly frustrated Jericho getting most of the shots in. Will the Young Bucks ever be able to shake off the Inner Circle? I kinda hope not, cause this feud is bringing the goods. ****1/4, 87% overall 84% show rating

Another strong finish to a show. You'd have a pretty good upper-midcard/main event scene if you ever decide to split some of these guys down the road.

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Dean Malenko informs me afterwards that Brian Cage and Joey Janela work well together. Hikaru Shida requests to work in a regular team with Big Swole. I have no real plans for a women's tag division, but Shida's legitimately in my top 5 wrestling crushes at the moment...decisions decisions. Best Dynamite I've had so far.

DEAN FUCKING MALENKO doesn't mess around! Now is Shida a wrestling crush because of her work or because she's got it going on in other departments?

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G I imagine Cage has some pretty good stats.

Yeah he's got upper 70s brawl and fairly decent tech especially for a big dude.

This is some good shit, sprinkled in with some classic "heel accuses face of receiving favoritism" whining. I'm not completely on board with bragging about CZW but use what you can I guess.

One interesting thing AEW had to navigate early on is that the four guys who basically created the company (Cody, Omega, and the Bucks) are all EVPs. Cody did an angle really early on where he said he would challenge for the AEW World Title once and only once, and if he lost he would never challenge for it again. He lost, and has been out of the World title picture since. Down the line if he goes full-blown corrupt heel, who knows if he renegs.

Nobody really cares that Omega and the Bucks are champions right now because they haven't been overpushed, their spots on the card feel warranted as they're all really good, and they'll inevitably put the right guys over when it's time to pass the belts on.

Being proud of your time at CZW is a weird flex but Kingston (and Moxley too) have kinda embraced their deathmatch roots, like a sense of pride that they were tough bastards but able to rise above it.

Oh, come on, I'm sure he's got one more battle for WCW's honor left in him.

Haha, it definitely won't be the last time I use him but I can't imagine a scenario where I book him in an actual match again. I wish he were a manager instead of a non-wrestler but I could always go the authority figure route down the line I suppose.

Yikes, a smack of reality as I realize Daniels is 50. Has there been another guy like him where he's received chance after chance but never hit the upper echelon despite what he can do?

Yeah, Daniels fell into the dreaded "hell of a hand" label. A utility player who can get a great match out of anyone but never get pushed to the top guy. ROH gave him a thank you 3 month World title run in 2017 but that's about it. Cesaro's probably the closest guy to that in modern WWE.

Think Luke Harper/Brodie Lee was also in that group as well and his AEW run sure made it seem like he was gonna go to that top level, making his sudden illness and passing all the more sad.

Another strong finish to a show. You'd have a pretty good upper-midcard/main event scene if you ever decide to split some of these guys down the road.

Yeah the Bucks are on fire with this series of matches against Inner Circle. Obviously I'm teasing a split coming and I have plenty of options. MJF is legit probably the best heel in the business and is only 24, he's decent in the ring too but his charisma is so off the charts it would barely matter. Sammy Guevara's only 27 and should have a bright singles future too.

Now is Shida a wrestling crush because of her work or because she's got it going on in other departments?

A little from column A, a little from column B.