Rate the last movie that you saw for the first time.

[Lock Jaw]

That was pretty much the only part I took issue with as well, how it was so fast to get a working AI translator... but I can turn my brain off

[Frank Drebin]

I'm so proud of you

[Lock Jaw]

Thanks mom

[OssMan]

Avocado Toast


Pure shite... 1 of those movies that Letterbox users would "eviscerate"... it sucks though

[Destor]

Frank DreBUM has a heart of ice

[Destor]

1. Two Lane Blacktop (1971) 8/10

Clearly born of the same spirit of Jack Kerouac's The Road. A pair of hippies, The Driver and The Mechanic, travel the country racing cars. For them there is nothing but the road. They are singularly focused. As the film introduces its other two leads, The Girl and The GTO, we begin to explore the morality that underpins this very stoic film.

Initially the film agrees. Theres nothing but the road. Our protagonists have the right of it. The Girls needs are superficial. And it juxtaposes against the antagonist The GTO as he represents more mainstream life.

He too is on the road but he appears to be running from his past unlike our protagonists who are truly at home on the road.

As the film unravels though it challenges these two hippies not from a right wing standpoint but a left wing standpoint. Ultimately posing serious questions on them like the value of their care free hedonic lives and asks them to truly make the case that moment to moment happiness is actually what life is about.

2. Toxic Avenger (2023) 3/10

This film is nothing but problems not least of all that its incredibly unfunny but its biggest issue is the casting. Not a single role is served well by its actor. Top to bottom. No exceptions. I watched it for free and i overpaid.

3. The Bad News Bears (1976) 7/10

Certainly a film that would jive with modern sensibilities but it really does shine as a great sports movie that really highlights how athletics enriches us and it does it with a cast of memorable characters and an excellent 3rd act.

4. All That Jazz (1979) 10/10

Important to note that i dont think this technically is a musical. Its builds to a major nondiegetic number most of the film about a choreography trying to create. These scenes serve a more utilitarian purpose to the narrative as opposed to being emotional expression.

That said it does build to a climax that is indeed a huge musical number that is nondiegetic and its certainly a show stopper. The film is about death and life and the alchemy of a life well (and poorly) lived. In that regard its made for me. Most my life has been spent thinking about what makes a life a good one ao i cant really understand what is driving Fosse here.

The film is as a personal introspection as deep and critical as Fosse can muster made with a touch that could only have been made with Fosse's unique skill sets and life. It would be impossible for anyone else to have made this work and it really seems impossible that it would work. But it does and bigly. A must see for film fans.

[Destor]

1. Armour of God (1986) 8/10

Kung Fu Indiana Jones staring Jackie Chan? Yes please.

This is Jackie as his action star peak. Up there with Super Cop but not his Kung Fu peak. Theres some quality Kung Fu here dont get me wrong. The 3rd act has two really sequences but nothing at the absolute top tier as say Wheeles on Meals.

What this does is has huge stunt work and a fun adventure with that trademark Jackie style humor. Climatic sequence has a jaw dropping stunt where we see skydiving onto the top of a hot air balloon. Really ballsy stunt work. And the fight sequences, though a bit (but only a bit) choppy have some really impressive physical stunts that really need to be seen to appreciate.

The story itself is light but light in the way Indiana Jones or The Mummy is light. We know the goals of the adventure and the goals of the antagonists and we go through a series of set pieces until climax occurs. Its what you want this type of film to be.

A nitpick, and i stress nitpick, goes out to thebprops department. The titular armour of god is quite poor. Looking like late 60s early 70s B tier sword and sorcery props at best. Comically low effort work that would barely pass as a halloween costume.

Certainly does ruin anything but its bad enough to call it out on principle.


2. Ocean's 13 (2007) 5/10

Well...it was a lot better than 12. These films really have little going for them outside of star power. They arent clever capers. They arent intense heists. They arent funny ensamble comedies. They just film charming actors being charming and hope thats all you need between the title and the credits. And looking at the box office returns...i guess it is.

3. Unstoppable (2010) 10/10

This is right up there with Speed. It doesnt have Joss Whedons snappy dialogue but Tony Scott makes sure we feel connected to these characters in a human way.

It works in the way only great movies can. Its a guys 1st day at work. He has a runaway train. Then we find out the train is carrying chemicals. Then we find the train is carrying combustables. Then we find out its heading toward the town where his estranged with and son live and its set to derail there. Its the perfect "Runaway Semi Driven by The Incredible Hulk" movie.

Its that escalation of danger that climaxes into the personal. The stakes are human and thats the level of emotion Scott tries to ground us in and Chris Pine, Denzel Washington and Rosario Dawson all really shine through.

Excellent set pieces sprinkle ld exactly when the script needs and some really clever visual choices. At one point Chris Pine has his leg caught between two trains and Scott cuts to the TV footage seen from the perspective of his worried wife. In that moment she and the audience are both shifting our vies trying to see how bad he's hurt. And she is mirroring the audience. Really exceptional.

Action/suspense at its highest level.

4. What We Do In the Shadows (2014) 7/10

Pretty fun movie. What i liked best is how it played with the mockumentary visual langued and how it used the special effects inside that narrative device. The general premise and rhe execution though are pretty fun throughout. Not laugh out load hysterically funny but more smirky i see what you did there funny.

5. I, Tonya (2017) 8/10

Liked this more than i thought i would. It has a 4th wall narrative device where the characters are telling the story interview style that allows for some comedy beats that otherwise couldnt exist but also does away with the need for the film to try and be truthful instead it can live inside the lies of the narrators even to the point of absurdity.

Sebastian Stan is really good here and Margot Robbie is an absolute star and a powerhouse actress. She has a scene looking into the mirror (camera) putting on make up thats maybe...30 seconds...no dialogue. And she conveys a magnitude in this one take that definitely earned her oscar nomination.

Not a much watch but you could do far worse on a Sunday afternoon

6. Hamnet (2025) 8/10

3 very different acts and the pacing in the 1st two can leave a little to be desired its working toward a goal and the 3rd act really delivers. Jessie Buckley is great in the lead and the young actor playing Hamnet is surprisingly good.

The films effort is to strip away the allegory and metophor from Hamlet so when we get to the play in the 3rd act we can feel the subtext of the play as text in the film. Its an interesting idea and i think they pulled it off well.

[Destor]

1. Mortal Kombat 2 (2026) 6/10

Ultimately the films issue is its energy is spent on being a memberberries picture instead of trying to make a world we want to visit in a part 3.

The aesthetics are Mortal Kombat. Everything looks like we want it to. The characters are who we expect them to me. Their motivations are all correct, well mostly enough.

But its inside a film that has mediocre action thats carried by special effects and editing and story beats straight of out mid tier action films of 35+ years ago and not in a campy fun way but in a lazy poorly written way. The script is busy and unfocused. Struggles juggling two protagonists. Soends too much time setting up a 3rd film when its 2nd one is struggle to walk. And a truck load of comedy that just isnt funny.

The games have a rich narrative and i just dont understand why the film cant too.

Still miles better than the first one.

2. Punisher: One Last Kill (2026) 8/10

Not exactly a movie. I think its more of a short film than anything else though so I'll rate.

Honestly i think marvel might have struck gold here but i dont think theyll realize the big idea. 1 shots. Just 1 sharp 50-90 min idea for a story featuring a hero they can do on a TV budget. No need for any crossover (unless you want to) or ongoing plot. Just be true to your character of choice and tell a story that fits in the current greater world of the MCU.

Ya know...like how comics work.

Here we get a very strong hour thats story light but still story rich that lets us explore Frank Castle as we last left him in DD:BA S1 and let's us bridge the gap into where he will be when we see him in Spider-man 4.

The action is violent, well shot, well choreographed, and extremely well executed. It takes the character to exactly the places we expect him to go and pets him do what we want to see him do and it allows him to struggle emotionally through the process.

For what it is and what it intends to be its a home run.

3. Gary (2026) 8/10

Another John Bernthal 1 shot spinoff. The Bear stands as one of the finest shows of the last 15 years as harrowing as it is its always compelling and a show for actors to really stretch their legs. And its rarely as good as when John Bernthals Michael is on screen. His performance in the Christmas episode stands as the finest acting ive ever seen in my life. Full stop.

So a one shot with him as the lead? Absolutely. Sign me up. And this delivers. The uncomfortable tension. The self destructive suicidal implosions. Everything the show has explored is here. So if you like the Bear give it a watch.

4. Chainsaw Man - The Movie: Reze Arc (2025) 9/10

I loved the writting, characters, world a d humor of the series and thats all present here. I haye the digital animation style but not so much it ruins it for me. It holds it back for me, but not ruined.

For an IP known for its violence it manages to be pretty romantic more often than one would expect. Here two scenes really worked at that level. First one a date day spent going to the movies. They see a marathon. All day viewing. They hate them all but it culminates with them alone in the final viewing both crying to a film that truly moved them.

Later a skinny dipping scene that ends up being more tender than horny. The opposite from what youd expect from a show thats so unapologetically horny as Chainsaw Man.

And then it turns and man it turns hard and fast and it really delivers on the intense actions the show is known for and the villain is outstanding.

The action is as insane as its character designs. It has a sense of momentum thats hard to do in animation and uses really creative and compelling points of perspective that keep you visually stimulated during the action.

Very strong 1st feature for the series. It exactly harnesses the shows key mission statements and nails them perfectly.

5. The Music Man (1962) 8/10

Some oustanding choreography here. Specially Mirian the Librarian. Easily on my short list of my favorite numbers ever. Vocals in the film do little for me for the most part but Roger Ebert was once asked what makes a film great? His reply was simply "2 or 3 great scenes." And i think thats about the truth of it. When this one hits it really hits. Not consistent though and that holds it back a bit. Still worth a watch if you like classic musicals.

6. Armour of God 2: Operation Condor (1991) 8/10

More of the same as the first film but as the biggest compliment possible. Asian Indiana Jackie Jones is at it again. With the crisp and well shot and choreographed kungfu you could hope for with some super cop level stunts and a fair bit of peak Jackie Chan comedy.

Theres a big fight sequence in the 3rd act that has to be seen to appreciate. Its Jackie vs 5ish guys on these suspended platforms that are mechanically moving. Really complex choreography designed to push their balance to its limit. Really wild.

Final fight goes full looney toons but the film was never that serious to begin with.

7. The Game (1997) 5/10

The thing about a mystery is we need a goal. Or some sort of carrot. Something to work toward. Like a whodunnit. We're trying to solve a crime. With The Game were asked "what is the game?" Well we already know. Its a thing he paid for to be done to him. So whats the point of the game?

Im not given a reason to care. I lm not given any reason to care about the protagonist, quite the opposite. It becomes paranoia for paranoias sake and meanwhile youre certain is careening toward "money is the root of all evil" which wasnt exactly a fresh observation in 97 let alone 2026.

Its well made. Fincher doesnt make things poorly. He knows what he's doing. But what he's doing i just dont find compelling here. Its not aimless. The film always feels like we're heading directly toward something and that saves the film from becoming a real burden.

There's something to be said about having the audience and the protagonist asking the same question. "What the hell is going on." It just needed something more than "well that was weird" as the central premise of a mystery. Its not even until the 3rd act that there's amy stakes/tension around the game.

And the reveal.. well its preposterous and unsatisfying.

8. Into The Abyss (2011) 7/10

Werner Herzog's documentary on capital punishment. He chooses a good subject for his clearly anti-death penalty stance. Despite the subjects claims the evidence is overwhelming. Hes guilty beyond all reasonable doubt.

By using a clearly guilty person Herzog is able to more ethically defend his stance. Not to protect the imaginary innocent but life in general.

Its worth stating that im not an absolutist in either direction on the topic. Life in prison sounds far worse to me than death but i also feel like to condemn someone the evidence needs to go much further than DNA which has many short comings the CSIs of the world wont acknowledge. This topic i have a complicated relationship with. I do think retribution has a role in the justice process. Rehabilitation isnt the sole effort and it shouldnt be.

One thing about Herzog that separates him from everyone else is his attention for these slice pf life moments that are tangential to the narrative. Example he's talking to a character witness and through the interview he discovered that at the time the interviewee was illiterate. Herzog has a very charming interation with the man about it and his journey to become literate.

Any other director would have cut that from the final print. Its obvious bloat and completely off topic. Herzog is more interested in showing us humans in motion so it stays.

Not his apex but Herzog has a pretty vast resume and this is definitely high quality.

9. Finestkind (2023) 7/10

The lead, whose name I'll bother to learn as soon as he gives me a reason to, must be related to a producer and/or the casting director. When Jenna Ortega or Tommy Lee Jones are in the scene the it suddenly feels like a real movie. And they're both pretty good. Jones especially.

Film takes a turn at the 1hr mark. Shifts from a fishing story to a crime story. The turn really works for the film but it really needed to get to it about 15-20 min sooner especially with the weak lead.

If you can make it to the second half its very good though.

[Lock Jaw]

Didn't care for Punisher: One Last Kill.

Just felt like it had no purpose and as far as just mindless violence there's been better. Felt "out of place".

I have never been much of a Punisher fan though so that could have something to do with it. In fact, the first time I really enjoyed Punisher was Bernthal and his appearances in Daredevil. Also thought season 1 of his own show was pretty great. Never did watch season 2.

[Destor]

I approached OLK as an acting exorcize and i think it really firmly displays how good Bernthal is. I wont debate on taste or execution thats too subjective but i will say we needed it. It wasnt Gratuitous. We need to bridge the gap between the last we saw of Castle in DD:BA S1 to Spidey 4. We dont need to spend a quester of the film getting Frank out of his bunker. We can walk right in and hit the ground running.

[M-A-G]

Backrooms (2026 film) - *** out of ****.

I find it strange how I don't really consider myself a horror film buff. Horror video games? I'll eat that shit up. Maybe because I'm more involved? Horror films, though, need to have an interesting set-up in order for me to work up any interest. Enter, this movie.

I wasn't walking into this one completely blind as I have an understanding of the whole concept via the various videos out there. My fear, as with other takes on famous viral ideas, was that the movie would completely lose the plot or needlessly over-explain or come up with its own ideas, much like with Slenderman or the Mandela Effect.

This bit of worry is alleviated in that the director, Kane Parsons, is behind those infamous internet videos in the first place. Obviously, he's going to know how to present things visually, and since we have the Word of God instead of some studio suits putting their fingerprints all over things, there's a sense of authenticity to the whole thing.

At first, I wasn't sure if I wanted the whole thing to be presented in the same manner as those Backrooms videos. You know, told entirely through the lens of the first-person perspective? If you've seen one Backrooms videos, you've essentially seen them all, impressive and eerie as some of them can be. Going the route they did, where it's a blend of that style, along with, let's say "traditional" (for the lack of a better word), cinematography served things much better. Going a whole runtime in the found footage style would've been interesting, sure, but we would've missed out on what's trying to get accomplished. The humanity and reality that the Backrooms erodes and distorts, I feel, is essential to really get that uncomfortable sensation.

I put the word "traditional" in quotations earlier to describe how things are presented outside the standard found footage method. This is because the rest of the movie is certainly more traditional by comparison, but even then, things aren't always shot in a way that's 100% normal. You're not always at ease. Maybe it's because it does a great job of capturing that nostalgic feel of the time period that's invoked from all that liminal space porn that's out there. If you lived through that time, things will most certainly ping a couple of alerts in your memory banks, all from the way things are presented.

And that, I think, is the film's biggest strength. Show, don't tell. The style along with the performances allows you to draw your own conclusions. There's no concrete answer to explain everything, but with something like this, it's OK and actually works in the film's favor as you're able to take away what you want from it, be it a metaphorical thing or otherwise. Personally, I saw it as a plea to people who are unable to grow up mentally, refusing to let go of the past, and potentially being "lost" in a quagmire made up of broken pieces that will never be reality.

But take from it what you will. It was probably the most unsettling and thought-provoking psychological horror film I've seen in a while, and this is someone who didn't go into it expecting much. I would say dive in for yourself and see what it stirs in you.

[Destor]

1. Song Sung Blue (2025) 8/10

Ive have a big yen for Kate Hudson since I 1st saw her in Almost Famous and she is an absolute delight here. She and Hugh Jackman have a ton of chemistry together. Both in character and vocally. And the music here shines. Their voices blend together so well id buy an album by them tomorrow if they sold one.

The 2nd act comes hard and fast. The film becomes a very different thing than what you expect from it. It excells musically, romanticly and multiple other levels I'd hate to spoil. Its a very touching film.

2. Mandolorian and Grogu (2026) 6/10

Honestly its not bad at all. Its not funny despite its numerous attempts and it has way too many CGI monster fights for its run time, but it's a perfectly fun and fine little adventure movie. There's no real character growth for either protagonist here so in an episodic sense its highly skippable but its very much a throwback to old adventure movies which is very much what Star Wars owes its lineage to.

Seeing as its mostly visual spectacle i think seeing it theaters is your best chance to enjoy it but as far as its tier of writing its more on the D+ spectrum.

But i liked it and i think if youre not completely off the ship with mando/star wars youll have some fun with it.

[Destor]

1. Pressure (2026) 9/10

Absolutely phenomenal. Andrew Scott gives the performance of a lifetime and its a very reserved one. This film is very much carried by its plot so there's little to say about it. Its a D-Day film about the weather. Full stop. Its exquisite. There is a narrative device about Scott's character's wife that she is pregnant in St Marys when it was bombed during the 72 hour lead up to D-Day that adds a human element to the film and really reminds us what the true stakes were. Brendan Frasier gives a very memorable performance as Ike Eisenhower.

If you know any old men send them to this one. Its WW2 and the weather. It cant miss.

2. Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1978) 4/10

A slapstick paraody of the Kung Fu genre. I believe this is Chan's first leading role but im unsure. He was in multiple films in 78 and im unsure which was before which.

At its core its the comedy style that would make chan so successful later but its way too looney toons/benny hill for me to sign off on it. Obnoxious cartoon sounds effects. A love for fast forwarding visual gags. I find the taste of the edit and the sound design to be very off putting.

The Wu-Shu style kung fu is fun enough but the film is 30/70 kung fu/looney tunes at best. Interesting for a film study but i couldnt recommend it beyond the biggest Kung fu/Chan fan.

[Destor]

1. The Boxer (1997) 6/10

Definitely not the film i expected. I expected a film about boxing. I got a film so specific to a certain culture at a certain point in time that its really alien without the proper topical context.

I know very little about "The Troubles" and Irish independence but i had to stop the film to get a crash course in it before i could keep watching.

I try and judge films purely on their merit as films of their time. Weighing them only by the moment and what came before them. This was challenging with this picture.

Theres a great moment when the boxing gym is being burned after a terror attack and they rush into the flames of an empty building to save the photos. Theyre trying to save their history. Their heritage. A wonderful metophor for the nationalist movement.

Daniel Day Lewis gives a fine performance as it to be expected. Brian Cox is also very strong here.

Fije film but its so topical that it holds it back considerably.

[Big Vic]

Found (2021) 5/10

SPOILER: show

The girls never found any one of their parents.

[Destor]

1. Too Much Sleep (2001) 5/10

I liked the films tone. Its general vibe. But it really does nothing. Its a story about a guy whos a failure launch. He works but he calls out because he doesnt feel like going. Still lives with his mom. Doesnt own a car. Not quite a slacker type just aimless.

He works as a security guard. On a bus ride his gun gets stolen and the rest of the film is a seriest of quests of him trying to find it.

Each sequence ends with someone giving him a new lead and that sends him off again. There's no interconnectivity really and theres no strong theming either.

Somehow at the end of the feature his gunless and has still grown as a man. Im unsure how though.

All that said i still didnt hate the time spent im just left asking...what was the point of any of that? Just an excuse to do it?

[Destor]

1. Marty Supreme (2025) 9/10

I dont jive with Timothy Chalemet. Im told, without reprive, that he's this generations shining talent. And he can act for sure. But a leading man? Playing tough guys? I dunno. Big ask.

But Marty Supreme is a role that works wisely with his weak physical frame. Yeah multiple women want to sleep with him. But one is a plain jane in a unhappy marriage. The other is an over the hill aging starlett that wants to feel young and beautiful in the eyes of a younger man. Both logically work for him.

And he's playing an athlete? Well yes. Ping pong. He's not a boxer or what have you. He's a run up from a bowler. His casting absolutely works.

And as to the character? Well its outstanding. One of the most narcissistic and delusional characters ever put to film.

The narrative itself unravels and flowers in unsuspected and constantly surprising ways. You cant get ahead of the story because his character acts in ways no human ever would. But its not unbelievable. The film never feels ridiculous because its very well written lead is absolutely fool enough to do any of the outlandish situations he finds himself in.

Its as well made as you could ask for and the ending has as much poetic justice as you could cram into it. The Safdies are really excellent film makers and this is on par and as intense as any of their previous films. I think thats their real strength. They manifest intensity out of thin air.

2. Fackham Hall (2025) 5/10

Bit of a bizarre film really. It has the comedic sensibilities of Python or Airplane or Naked Gun but it spends a lot of taking its plot...very seriously. Which really doesnt work. Its like having and on/off switch for comedy and its a bit jarring.

Jokes themselves are occasionally a bit cheeky. Smirk worthy. Never laugh out loud or gut wrenchingly funny but cute or clever enough to keep you moving along.

Ultimately it just doesnt land in either realm of comedy or drama. Its not revolting or anything. Just flaccid.

[Lock Jaw]

Mandolorian & Grogu - 4/10

People told me it felt like a long episode of the show... but ultimately it felt to me like several shorter episodes smashed together to make a short inconsequential filler season where no one had a character arc or story