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Old 07-01-2005, 06:48 PM   #1641
Gone Mad
EL MERO MERO!
 
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Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)Gone Mad is good (20,000+)
** During a Edge matchup against Slyvan Grenier (you know, Resistance guy?) **
JR: Wow, this is incredibly dull. Um, I think Edge will win this like a steak in an artery contest.

King: yeah, sure... uh.. WHOA, Maven just got in the ring and... OH MY GOD! HE JUST DID A 450 LEG SPLASH ON SLYVIAN! What's this now?

JR: Maven just a Van Terminator into a DDT from the other side of the ring to Edge! BAWGAWD! Now that's the Maven we all now of! No, wait, no... Maven??

King: ASAI MOONSAULT INTO A HURRICANRANA TO THE REF!!
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Old 07-01-2005, 06:53 PM   #1642
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Ahahahahahahahaha!!!! 1000 pts for Xero Limit.


KARMA: WWE Style
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Old 07-01-2005, 07:07 PM   #1643
Xero
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JR: If Triple H wins this match, he will be 16 time world champion! WAIT! PEDIGREE! YES! WAIT! OH NO! HIS LEG BUCKLED UNDER HIM!

Triple H: OH SHIT MY QUAD! OH GOD! JERICHO! COV- What am I crazy!?

*Jericho locks in the Walls and Triple H taps out of sheer pain. Jericho becomes World Heavyweight Champion.*

(Three months later.)

Doctor: I'm sorry Paul, but you're going to have to hang up your boots. If you even run with this leg God knows what will happen.

Triple H: DAMN IT! AND I WAS SO CLOSE TOO!

(I'm going to try to lay off the Triple H jokes, but it's just all too obvious and funny...)
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Old 07-01-2005, 07:10 PM   #1644
Innovator
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*In Germany*

Hardcore Holly: HEIL HITLER! *starts goosestepping*

Fans:

*one month later*

Jr: BAHGAWD! HOLLY IS THE NEW UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!
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Old 07-01-2005, 07:12 PM   #1645
Just John
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Us at TPWW meets Lita



(Random spokesperson for tpww):Lita you always Botch things, you botchinator



(Lita): Go to hell



[later that night Lita is in a match with Trish, Edge interrupts and Lita is about to do the litasault (or whatever that shit is) when suddenly..










......THE TURNBUCKLE BOTCHES AND GIVES WAY!!!!

Lita breaks her leg cant wrestle again....
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Old 07-01-2005, 11:06 PM   #1646
The Highlander
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News: WWE server crashes, and only some Triple H segments servive, however, only matches available on WWE.com and WWE 24/7 is Triple H vs Ultimate Warrior from WM XII and post-Curtain Call segments and matches.

------------------------------------------------
Aaron Rift gets virus from his own site, loses everything, shoots himself.
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Old 07-02-2005, 03:55 AM   #1647
FourFifty
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
And now, a little rewind. A day late and a buck short, but this HAS to be done for the humor!

Batista: hey Shannon, I gotta take a dump. Can you hold my title?

Shannon: Sure thing Dave.

*Dave goes into the restroom and gives Shannon Moore the title to hold on to*

Shannon: Wow, this thing is HUGE!!!!

*Triple H walks by, sees Shannon with the title, and runs away*


*Days later, right before Vengance*

Vince: So, Hunter, are you ready to become the 11 time world champion?

HHH: No! That belt has jobber cooties!



(then again, Seeing Shannon Moore with the title would make me pop... any title for that matter... so does that count?)

(edit- Damn, late for the other one.... so this is two posts late... am I going to hell for this?)
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Old 07-02-2005, 01:18 PM   #1648
Schoenauer
Don't be hatin' bitch!
 
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*Hardcore Holly wins the title*
Holly: Yeah! I beat Batista, I am Hardcore!! How do you like me now?!

*the crowd walks out of the stadium*

Holly: Well you must like me so much that you don't want to be near me!

*Teddy comes out*

Teddy: Hold on playa! I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is you won't be given this championship because you won't be able to draw an audience. But the good news is I'm going to hand it to somebody who deserves it. And that man is Christian!

Holly: No!!! Don't give HIM the title!

*Christian comes out, takes the title and celebrates*

Teddy: And I forgot Holly, Vince is releasing you.
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Old 07-02-2005, 01:29 PM   #1649
Xero
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Vince: Hey Bob! You want to be in the SmackDown! main event tonight?

Holly: SURE! I'll face anyone!

Vince: Anyone?

Holly: Don't worry, I can do it! Bring it on!

Vince: You'll be facing Carlito, Rene Dupree, Matt Cappotelli, and Daniel Puder in a 4 on one handicap match!

Holly: Great!

Vince: Great! I'm sure you'll have a great match!

*Vince walks away and Holly's smile turns into a look of terror.*

Holly: Oooooh shit...
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Old 07-02-2005, 02:29 PM   #1650
Anybody Thrilla
Cranky Kong
 
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(Edge returns home to Lita)

EDGE: Hey baby! It's great to be back, we can finally spend some time together.

LITA: Ummm....

EDGE: Wait a minute...

(Edge looks to the kitchen counter and sees an empty bottle of Tequila, along with a used condom)

EDGE: You got drunk and fucked somebody, didn't you!

LITA: I'm sorry!

EDGE: Who was it?

GENE SNITSKY'S VOICE FROM INSIDE A CLOSET: It's not my salt!
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:38 PM   #1651
Cool King
King K Cool
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
GENE SNITSKY'S VOICE FROM INSIDE A CLOSET: It's not my salt!
Edge: It's not my pepper!



Well I thought it was funny.
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Old 07-02-2005, 07:12 PM   #1652
Champion of Europa
SEX APPEAL
 
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Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Champion of Europa puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
*Bradshaw is leaving the arena after a show, when all of a sudden, Mordecai runs up and starts beating him down*

Mordecai: Wrestling *punch* God? My savior is VERY *kick* angry with you! *knee*
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Old 07-02-2005, 07:20 PM   #1653
SuperSlim
*Oh Sh*t*
 
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SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
I liked your other one better.
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Old 07-02-2005, 07:23 PM   #1654
Champion of Europa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSlim
I liked your other one better.
Fine. I'll post them both.

*Undertaker, Sara, and their new child are sitting in the living room*

Undertaker: Sara, look! He's taking his first steps!

Sara: I'm so proud!

Undertaker: What's he doing with those matches?

Sara: Put those down, honey!

*Moments later, the entire room is in flames*
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Old 07-02-2005, 07:55 PM   #1655
SuperSlim
*Oh Sh*t*
 
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SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)SuperSlim puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:47 PM   #1656
Marcyo
Viva la Raza
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSlim
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Old 07-03-2005, 04:42 PM   #1657
Xero
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Just a suggestion, but how about one on 'JR-isms'?
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Old 07-03-2005, 07:14 PM   #1658
PorkSoda
Diabetes Coming To Getcha
 
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PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)PorkSoda puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Lita: Hi guys.
JR: Hi.
King: Hi.
Vince: Hi.
Stephanie: Hi.
Triple H: WHY IS THERE AN EASTER EGG IN MY GYMBAG?
Lita: I dont know.
Vince: You're fired!
Lita: Me?
Vince: No, me.
Vince leaves.

JR: BAH GAWD! THISDOESNOTREPRESENTKARMA!
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Old 07-04-2005, 09:10 AM   #1659
Skippord
I'm Mr. White Christmas
 
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Raw Diva search in progress
Viscera:Oh Yeah I love me the white meat I've gots to have it

Viscera proceeds to rape all of the contestants causing them to never come back
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Old 07-04-2005, 11:19 AM   #1660
Anybody Thrilla
Cranky Kong
 
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Rape =
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Old 07-04-2005, 11:45 AM   #1661
SuperSlim
*Oh Sh*t*
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippord
Raw Diva search in progress
Viscera:Oh Yeah I love me the white meat I've gots to have it

Viscera proceeds to rape all of the contestants causing them to never come back
awful
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Old 07-04-2005, 11:57 AM   #1662
Just John
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...I dont approve of those sort of sexual topics....









P.S tell your mom I left the money on the T.V
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Old 07-04-2005, 02:17 PM   #1663
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1000 pts go to Xero Limit and Anybody Thrilla

10,000 pts go out ot CoE's Taker joke.



Jim Ross: Anatomy Teacher
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Old 07-04-2005, 02:25 PM   #1664
SuperSlim
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JR: I tell you what class BAHGAWD!

Class: What?

JR: That stuff flowin through you ain't no BBQ SAUCE.

Class: What?

JR: BAHGAWD I feel like Austin.

Student: What? Who? We just trying to figure out what the hell you talking about.

JR: Oh, well you see I was referring to this liquid substance that flows trhough every inch of your body giving it the oxygen it needs in order for your body to properly function.

Student: Thanks.

JR: BAHGAWD!
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Old 07-04-2005, 02:42 PM   #1665
Xero
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JR: NOW CLASS, BAHGAWD THIS IS THE STOMACH! ALL YOUR BASIC FOODS LIKE BAHGAWD PIZZA AND BAHGAWD CHICKEN AND EVEN BAHGAWD CEREAL GOES THROUGH HERE! WHEN IT'S ALL DONE, BAHGAWD THAT AIN'T FUDGE AND LEMONADE COMMIN OUTTA YOU!

(A student runs out of the room vomiting.)

JR: BAHGAWD THAT VOMIT AIN'T MADE OUTTA BAKED BEANS!
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Old 07-04-2005, 03:33 PM   #1666
Skippord
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippord
Raw Diva search in progress
Viscera:Oh Yeah I love me the white meat I've gots to have it

Viscera proceeds to rape all of the contestants causing them to never come back
I would like to apologize for this post that is all
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Old 07-04-2005, 03:46 PM   #1667
Anybody Thrilla
Cranky Kong
 
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(Class has wrapped up. While most of the students rush to the door, a particularly attractive female student stays behind and approaches Jim Ross at his desk [where he wears a head set, for some reason])

FEMALE STUDENT: Mr. Ross, I'm having a pretty difficult time with this chapter. Is there any way I could earn some extra credit?

(J.R. slowly starts unzipping his pants.)

J.R. - Well, you little jezebel....have you ever heard of a 'slobberknocker'?
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:18 PM   #1668
Skippord
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JR:class open your books to page 56 Bahgawd stunner on Lou Thez by Kid Kash
Kid:huh???
JR:BahGawd Love my classroom or leave it you no good son of a bitch
Kid
Last edited by Skippord; 07-04-2005 at 04:43 PM.
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:34 PM   #1669
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C'mon man, Rocco Rock is dead.
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:42 PM   #1670
Skippord
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sorry
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:43 PM   #1671
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there fixed
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:50 PM   #1672
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Haha, I was totally kidding. You can talk about Rocco Rock all you want, buddy.
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:55 PM   #1673
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JR: Bah Gawd it's the flagship! Anatomy 101! Alongside this lifesize poster of the female body, I'm "Good Ol' JR" Jim Ross, live from the campus of Oklahoma University! Boomer Sooner!

STUDENT: Man, even Ah ain't that much of a redneck. Come on, sister/girlfriend. Let's go find a empty closet.

[They leave.]

JR: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TA HELL! WHY? SON OF A BITCH!
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Old 07-04-2005, 05:02 PM   #1674
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126
JR: NOW CLASS, BAHGAWD THIS IS THE STOMACH! ALL YOUR BASIC FOODS LIKE BAHGAWD PIZZA AND BAHGAWD CHICKEN AND EVEN BAHGAWD CEREAL GOES THROUGH HERE! WHEN IT'S ALL DONE, BAHGAWD THAT AIN'T FUDGE AND LEMONADE COMMIN OUTTA YOU!

(A student runs out of the room vomiting.)

JR: BAHGAWD THAT VOMIT AIN'T MADE OUTTA BAKED BEANS!
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Old 07-04-2005, 05:06 PM   #1675
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lol, this is from the first page. Scene: THINGS NOT TO TALK ABOUT WHEN MEETING VINCE MCMAHON.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowhere Man
"So I saw these GREAT cruiserweights wrestling the other day, I think they were from ECW or something, and..."
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Old 07-04-2005, 11:20 PM   #1676
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J.R.: THESE COLLARBONES AREN'T MADE OF CHOCOLATE, they're made of calcium. BARBQUE SAUCE!...can, in large doses, hurt the lining of the stomach because of the citric acids inside of the solution.

Student: Why did you skip from the collarbones to the stomach lining?

J.R.: STUNNER!
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Old 07-05-2005, 12:48 PM   #1677
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Kid: Mr. Jim Ross sir.......what happens if I jump on the lung?


J.R: NO, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KID, DONT DO IT!


(Kid jumps on lung)



J.R: BAHGAWD THAT LUNG DONT HAVE A DAMN CLUE WHERE HE IS!!!1
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Old 07-05-2005, 12:56 PM   #1678
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:22 PM   #1679
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JR: *points to his cheeks, talking to a kindergarten class* These are your cheeks, kids. Unlike the rest of you, I can't move the muscles in my cheeks.

*Silence*

Kid: Uh, no one gives a fuck. But you do look like a douchebag when you talk.

JR: I'd make a mean face at you if I could.
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:28 PM   #1680
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May I make the suggestion that the next scene be "A day at the Bob Holly wrestling school"
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