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#1 |
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One Of A Kind
Posts: 22,178
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Kurt Angle doesn't fear fear, fear fears Kurt Angle.
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#2 |
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Posts: 18,357
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FDR originally said "We have nothing to fear, but Kurt Angle himself." Angle later let him change the speech so as not to make Angle sound too egomaniacal.
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#3 |
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Terminator Daddy!
Posts: 2,428
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Kurt Angle is such a humanitarian that he dresses his dick like Abe Lincoln and lets women "free the slaves."
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#4 |
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"Ask him!"
Posts: 10,075
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Kurt Angle taught UFC Champion Chuck Liddell everything he knows. He then erased his memories of their training lessons so that Liddell wouldn't credit Angle directly for his success. Kurt Angle knew that if the fans knew Liddell was trained by him, then Liddell's successes would only be attibuted to Angle's already overflowing pool of greatness.
Kurt Angle stopped the fifth hijacked jet on 9/11. It was headed for LA, but Angle German Suplexed it into the ocean. You may wonder, with such power, why did Kurt allow Katrina to happen? Kurt didn't "allow" Katrina to happen. He farted, and MADE Katrina happen. |
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#5 |
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Posts: 2,901
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Kurt angle would destroy anyone bar me.
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#6 |
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"Ask him!"
Posts: 10,075
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....what, bitch?
There's 10 pages of Angle-gasming, and you think you can just show and be all "oh yeah, blah blah blah, I can kick Angle's ass." Read the thread again. Kurt's greatness > You. |
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#7 |
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Terminator Daddy!
Posts: 2,428
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Kurt Angle ate 12 cans of Alphabet Soup and crapped out what we now call "The Dictionary."
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#8 |
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Terminator Daddy!
Posts: 2,428
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After Kurt Angle was circumsized as a baby, they used the severed foreskin to make cowboy boots for all of Texas.
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#9 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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Kurt Angle was only in a wheel chair once in his life... so he could take down Steven Hawking fairly.
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#10 |
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Temporary
Posts: 15,621
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Kurt Angle did not invent the Atom Bomb. He did, however, invent atoms
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#11 |
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Temporary
Posts: 15,621
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Now on a serious note.
I just listened to Angle's interview with BTR and I gotta say he knows his MMA. Like all of you I thought Angle was crazy and was talking out of his ass in the other interviews, but knew a lot about MMA and I am shocked. He even said that he might not be able to beat Chuck Liddell or Tito, but he would put up a good fight with them. Angle even knew stuff about Pride and Fedor. So you know what I don't think Angle is crazy. However... The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Kurt Angle and forgot to pay him back. |
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#12 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Kurt Angle doesn't let Wookies win. Wookies let Kurt Angle win.
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#13 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Everytime you masturbate, Kurt Angle German Suplexes a kitten.
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#14 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Rome wasn't built in a day. Rather, Kurt Angle came along and built it in about ten minutes, had a streetfight with Chris Benoit that destroyed anything, then decided to put two twin babies in charge of reconstruction.
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#15 |
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Posts: 18,357
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The New York Police Department once considered using Kurt Angle to take down King Kong from the top of the Empire State Building, but realized that would have been rather inhumane.
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#16 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Kurt Angle can beat Godzilla in a belching contest.
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#17 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Kurt Angle does vector calculus just for fun. He doesn't have a gat but he's got a soldering gun.
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#18 |
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...IN HD!!!!
Posts: 23,327
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Kurt Angle went into the Bermuda Triangle and rescued every single person that was ever lost in there.
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#19 |
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One Of A Kind
Posts: 22,178
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Unlike Flair Woo, Kurt Angle doesn't need to say how great he is.
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#20 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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Kurt Angle personally approved this fact.
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#21 |
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"Ask him!"
Posts: 10,075
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Kurt Angle turned down the lead role in "Superman Returns," stating "Superman? I don't sweat freakin' Superman. It took him forever to turn back time in Superman: The Movie. I did that twice this morning. I bet you didn't notice."
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#22 |
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Stickman
Posts: 15,119
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Kurt Angle walked down the street with an erection......there were no survivors.
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#23 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Funky Fly has a Banhammer. Kurt Angle has a ban hammer, screwdriver, wrench, fist, foot and head.
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#24 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Funky Fly has a Banhammer. Kurt Angle once banned hammers and all other tools on site and built an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition house all by himself with his bare hands in seven minutes.
....with a broken frickin' neck!! |
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#25 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Kurt Angle's house is in the middle of the country. This is because when it was built in the city, it made all the other houses tap out, and they razed themselves our of terror.
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#26 |
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Posts: 18,357
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It was originally Angle's Theory of Relativity, but he felt sorry for the Jews and decided to give it to his friend, Albert Einstein.
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#27 |
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Posts: 18,357
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FYI: The movie Jaws features Kurt Angle in one of his rare animorph appearances.
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#28 |
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Posts: 18,357
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There is a secret Power Rangers episode where Kurt Angle, playing the villain, destroys the Power Rangers, all of their Megazords, Zordon, and Alpha once and for all, rendering the Rangers completely powerless. He then has a hot, passionate threesome with Kimberly and Trini. Angle ended up deciding not to air it because he didn't want to traumatize children.
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#29 | |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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Quote:
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#30 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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When Kurt Angle was 7 years old, he played T-ball in his town's little league. All of the other kids would make fun of little Kurt because of his baldness. One day, in order to send a message, Kurt took aim and hit a line drive so hard, it hit an outfielder and obliterated the kid's face into dust particles. The child's lifeless decapitated body lay there with brain matter sprayed all about. To this day, Kurt Angle will pimp slap anybody who gives him any shit about it.
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#31 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Kurt Angle was announced as the lead for "24", but the plans had to change once all the terrorists and backstabbers in the world were dead in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
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#32 |
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The Satanic Mechanic
Posts: 52,521
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Kurt Angle personally gave me my Banhammer.
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#33 |
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Posts: 18,357
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#34 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Kurt Angle personally gave Triple A this web site.
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#35 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Kurt Angle ate Chuck Norris and pooped out Steven Seagal.
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#36 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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George W. Bush wanted to nominate Kurt Angle for Supreme Court Chief Justice but the Separation of Powers called for by the Constitution doesn't allow that if the person is already this country's main Instrument of Justice.
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#37 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Some people play "got yer nose" with their kids. Kurt Angle plays "Got yer lower intestine" with Alligators.
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#38 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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Kurt Angle hates the story of Robin Hood because Kurt Angle is filthy rich. If Robin Hood had tried take Kurt's money and give it to the poor, there would be no Legend of Robin Hood, only the Legend of How Kurt Angle Killed Robin Hood and Fed Him to Bears.
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#39 |
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I believe in Joe Hendry
Posts: 22,351
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Few people know that Kurt Angle was crucified and buried with Jesus. However, unlike Jesus, Kurt rose from the dead after a few hours and spent the next two days drawing on Jesus' face with a Sharpie, taking embarrassing pictures of Him, and slapping him in the face with his own hand, saying, "Quit hittin' yourself!"
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#40 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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There once was a man from Nantucket. That man was Kurt Angle and the stories about him were greatly under-stated.
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