RAW Captions [5-10-2004] - Page 2

**Lamuella** · 05-13-2004, 12:46 PM

The match was a classic, hampered only by the referee getting strung out on peyote and thinking his own shadow was trying to eat his face.

HBK's interference had the match won until the ref accidentally trod on his fingers.

A bump on the head gives HHH amnesia, and he is surprised by the last six months of WWE booking.

"What do you MEAN, I lost the title at Wrestlemania? Chris WHO has it? Isn't that vanilla midget still feuding with the FBI on Smackdown?"

Following Eddy's lead, Trips and HBK become the June double action centerfold for Prison Bitch magazine.

"Who wants to hear how Jesus has been a positive influence in my life?"

Under the supervision of the ref, Batista prepares for belated Cinquo De Mayo celebrations with a lifesize Tajiri pinata.

After a good feed, Tajiri had to be burped.

God was enjoying his first ringside seats to a RAW show in a while. It wasn't often you got to see a man bite through another man's scrotum in midair.

"Which one of you evil bitches stole my tits?"

Seconds later, Edge lost his griip, and the resulting potential energy twanged Randy into the nosebleeds.

REF: Do you submit?
RANDY (doing a very bad ventriloquist act): Yes-I-Do!

Edge's new finisher, the Atomic Bumchuckle, sent Randy flying into the nosebleeds for the second time that night.

Orton's celebrations were cut short when he realised that Edge had shrunk him and put him in his "WWE RAW Action Playset"

"Were you out with a lady last night, sir? Ooh! Suit you, sir!"

GAIL: For the last time, NO! You can't stroke my ass!
REF: Come on, just a little squeeze! It's like two hardboiled eggs in a handkerchief!

"Do you think I could get away with just a quick pinch? I mean, she's not looking my way. I'll claim you did it."

Kane admired Edge's tiny shrunken wrestler menagierie.

It weas all too much. Terrorized by Kane last week, and now shrunken and put into a WWE playset. Lita turned to Matt for support... only to realise that this wasn't Matt, it was his action figure, complete with logo branded on the right hand side.

"I say! A boston crab, sir? Single leg, sir? Suit you, sir!"

In an unannounced cross-promotional move, William Regal brought out the winner of this year's Survivor. And didn't she look lovely?

Christian struggled hard and hung on with tenacity. Only a few more inches and he had made it out of the wire-mesh prison that was Midcard Hell.

Jericho tried to make his escape too, but was headed off at the pass by Kane. "No way, Canuck," the huge hoss said, "Get back to feuding with Rhyno."

At the last second, when the referee slammed the door into Jericho's head, then revealed himself to be the lovechild of Jericho and Katie Vick, the audience knew that Russo had returned.

The cover art for Prison Bitch was superb!

When jericho applied to boston crab to Christian's right leg, the plucky little andreoid wrestler simply detached the leg and hopped to freedom!

Christian strained so hard to get out of the Walls Of Jericho that he popped four veins in his head.

Stabbing his opponent in the rectum with a pitchfork seemed unfair to Jericho, but if it was what Russo wanted, it was what Russo would get.

**thuganomicalcrippler** · 05-13-2004, 02:07 PM

There are more refined ways of becoming an eye doctor, Mr. Michaels.

Ok, time for English class, children! Paul, can you tell me what credibility means?

Perhaps a little tutoring would be in order for a less embarassing execution of the tombstone.

Tajiri:You think you're a real powerhouse don't you Dave? But I'm better than you. I'm more supple, more flexible. See how flexible I am Dave? I can do toe touches. I can....Uh oh.

The trio would forever rue the day they tried to play hide and seek with their careers.

Regal: "So I was walking along the road, and I saw a funeral procession, with two coffins, followed by a man walking a dog, and about 200 subsequent men walking in single file behind him. My curiosity got the better of me, so I walked up to the chap with the dog and said, "Dreadfully sorry for your loss, my spiffing fellow, but could you satisfy my curiosity? As the Americans would say, 'What's with this funeral?' "
So then he said, "One of the coffins is my wife's, the other is my mother-in-law's. This dog here attacked my wife. I tried to stop him, but he killed her. He then jumped my mother-in-law, and he killed her too before I could stop him."
So then I said, "Smashing! Could I borrow this lovely dog?" Then Eric, If you'll believe me, guess what the good old chappie said? "Please join the queue."

Goldberg:Sorry I'm late. Uh...did someone say something about an Elimination Chamber Match?
Jericho:

**Azriel** · 05-14-2004, 09:43 AM

I am the great and powerful Oz

Nobody thought Lita could botch the role of Dorothy, but she did. Thankfully, Matt was the perfect Scarecrow

05-13-2004, 12:46 PM	#41
Lamuella Forum Happy Cat Posts: 7,884	The match was a classic, hampered only by the referee getting strung out on peyote and thinking his own shadow was trying to eat his face. HBK's interference had the match won until the ref accidentally trod on his fingers. A bump on the head gives HHH amnesia, and he is surprised by the last six months of WWE booking. "What do you MEAN, I lost the title at Wrestlemania? Chris WHO has it? Isn't that vanilla midget still feuding with the FBI on Smackdown?" Following Eddy's lead, Trips and HBK become the June double action centerfold for Prison Bitch magazine. "Who wants to hear how Jesus has been a positive influence in my life?" Under the supervision of the ref, Batista prepares for belated Cinquo De Mayo celebrations with a lifesize Tajiri pinata. After a good feed, Tajiri had to be burped. God was enjoying his first ringside seats to a RAW show in a while. It wasn't often you got to see a man bite through another man's scrotum in midair. "Which one of you evil bitches stole my tits?" Seconds later, Edge lost his griip, and the resulting potential energy twanged Randy into the nosebleeds. REF: Do you submit? RANDY (doing a very bad ventriloquist act): Yes-I-Do! Edge's new finisher, the Atomic Bumchuckle, sent Randy flying into the nosebleeds for the second time that night. Orton's celebrations were cut short when he realised that Edge had shrunk him and put him in his "WWE RAW Action Playset" "Were you out with a lady last night, sir? Ooh! Suit you, sir!" GAIL: For the last time, NO! You can't stroke my ass! REF: Come on, just a little squeeze! It's like two hardboiled eggs in a handkerchief! "Do you think I could get away with just a quick pinch? I mean, she's not looking my way. I'll claim you did it." Kane admired Edge's tiny shrunken wrestler menagierie. It weas all too much. Terrorized by Kane last week, and now shrunken and put into a WWE playset. Lita turned to Matt for support... only to realise that this wasn't Matt, it was his action figure, complete with logo branded on the right hand side. "I say! A boston crab, sir? Single leg, sir? Suit you, sir!" In an unannounced cross-promotional move, William Regal brought out the winner of this year's Survivor. And didn't she look lovely? Christian struggled hard and hung on with tenacity. Only a few more inches and he had made it out of the wire-mesh prison that was Midcard Hell. Jericho tried to make his escape too, but was headed off at the pass by Kane. "No way, Canuck," the huge hoss said, "Get back to feuding with Rhyno." At the last second, when the referee slammed the door into Jericho's head, then revealed himself to be the lovechild of Jericho and Katie Vick, the audience knew that Russo had returned. The cover art for Prison Bitch was superb! When jericho applied to boston crab to Christian's right leg, the plucky little andreoid wrestler simply detached the leg and hopped to freedom! Christian strained so hard to get out of the Walls Of Jericho that he popped four veins in his head. Stabbing his opponent in the rectum with a pitchfork seemed unfair to Jericho, but if it was what Russo wanted, it was what Russo would get.

05-13-2004, 02:07 PM	#42
thuganomicalcrippler Peeps Unite Posts: 259	There are more refined ways of becoming an eye doctor, Mr. Michaels. Ok, time for English class, children! Paul, can you tell me what credibility means? Perhaps a little tutoring would be in order for a less embarassing execution of the tombstone. Tajiri:You think you're a real powerhouse don't you Dave? But I'm better than you. I'm more supple, more flexible. See how flexible I am Dave? I can do toe touches. I can....Uh oh. The trio would forever rue the day they tried to play hide and seek with their careers. Regal: "So I was walking along the road, and I saw a funeral procession, with two coffins, followed by a man walking a dog, and about 200 subsequent men walking in single file behind him. My curiosity got the better of me, so I walked up to the chap with the dog and said, "Dreadfully sorry for your loss, my spiffing fellow, but could you satisfy my curiosity? As the Americans would say, 'What's with this funeral?' " So then he said, "One of the coffins is my wife's, the other is my mother-in-law's. This dog here attacked my wife. I tried to stop him, but he killed her. He then jumped my mother-in-law, and he killed her too before I could stop him." So then I said, "Smashing! Could I borrow this lovely dog?" Then Eric, If you'll believe me, guess what the good old chappie said? "Please join the queue." Goldberg:Sorry I'm late. Uh...did someone say something about an Elimination Chamber Match? Jericho:

05-14-2004, 09:43 AM	#43
Azriel The Caption Crippler Posts: 8,855	I am the great and powerful Oz Nobody thought Lita could botch the role of Dorothy, but she did. Thankfully, Matt was the perfect Scarecrow