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Old 06-15-2004, 11:32 PM   #41
ilt_undertaker
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I still say that Maury is gonna be brought on RAW to annouce who the father of the kid is
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Old 06-15-2004, 11:51 PM   #42
.44 Magdalene
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I can see it now...

Doctor: Push...push!

*Suddenly the lights go out and red pyros launch off of Lita's spread legs. The baby walks out buck naked, except for a mask and fake hair. He heads to the center of the delivery room, raises his arms...and launches off more pyro! Jim Ross pops his head in from the waiting room.*

JR: BAH GAWD, THAT MONSTER KANE'S MONSTER BABY MONSTER JEZEBEL BAH GAWDSTUNNERINTENSESMONSTERBARBEQUESAUCE!

*The doctor picks up the baby and tries to smack its ass to help it breathe, but baby Kane no-sells the ass smacking.*

*Meanwhile, Lita tries to act shocked, but botches it and dies.*

*Meanwhile meanwhile, Matt Hardy's wrestling on Velocity.*

*Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile...Vince Russo is crawling out from under the desk of a broadly grinning Vinne Mac.*

The End.
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Old 06-16-2004, 12:35 AM   #43
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She'll botch the pregnancy
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Old 06-16-2004, 12:43 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Critic
I can see it now...

Doctor: Push...push!

*Suddenly the lights go out and red pyros launch off of Lita's spread legs. The baby walks out buck naked, except for a mask and fake hair. He heads to the center of the delivery room, raises his arms...and launches off more pyro! Jim Ross pops his head in from the waiting room.*

JR: BAH GAWD, THAT MONSTER KANE'S MONSTER BABY MONSTER JEZEBEL BAH GAWDSTUNNERINTENSESMONSTERBARBEQUESAUCE!

*The doctor picks up the baby and tries to smack its ass to help it breathe, but baby Kane no-sells the ass smacking.*

*Meanwhile, Lita tries to act shocked, but botches it and dies.*

*Meanwhile meanwhile, Matt Hardy's wrestling on Velocity.*

*Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile...Vince Russo is crawling out from under the desk of a broadly grinning Vinne Mac.*

The End.



I just visualised that as I read it *wipes tears of laughter*
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Old 06-16-2004, 03:27 AM   #45
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SPOILERS!!!! (highlight below)



The current plan is for Lita to give birth to a fully grown Fake Diesel who will feud with a returning Kevin Nash. Will Ferrell is also to play a role in this angle.



Yeah.
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Old 06-16-2004, 03:32 AM   #46
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The Undertaker is the father...to make him and Kane feud again...


Seriously when Matt finds out it isn't his baby, Matt will leave Lita and continue the awesomeness that is V-OOOONNNEEEEUUUUHHHHH
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Old 06-16-2004, 03:44 AM   #47
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He better dump her. They're supposed to be Matt Facts, not Matt & Lita facts.
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Old 06-16-2004, 03:49 AM   #48
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Matt Facts:

Lita and Matt Don't believe Matt is pussy whipped by Lita.
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Old 06-16-2004, 03:50 AM   #49
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Hitman
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Old 06-16-2004, 05:24 AM   #50
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On an upside, maybe they'll have her take "maternity leave." Then she can go and improve down in OVW.



I can't even tell if I'm serious about that one.
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Old 06-20-2004, 03:10 AM   #51
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"Improvement"

I.E. 1 botch a match
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Old 06-20-2004, 03:52 AM   #52
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Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Cooler Tom Schuler got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
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Old 06-20-2004, 04:17 AM   #53
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LMAO! A rep for that one.
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Old 06-20-2004, 12:06 PM   #54
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FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)FourFifty got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)

The only reason Lita got knocked up is she botched oral sex.

Oh yes! And then there's the oral sex!
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Old 06-20-2004, 12:16 PM   #55
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On the plus side, if Kane proves to be too cruel a father and if Lita hits the bottle then the baby can go move in with Uncle Mark or Grandpappy Paul. Rick Bognor can be the godparent.
Last edited by 91; 06-23-2004 at 05:48 PM.
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Old 06-23-2004, 05:45 PM   #56
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They could call him The UncleTaker.
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Old 06-23-2004, 06:00 PM   #57
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LMAO
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