Corky's 10,000th Post Extravaganza (wrestling related, don't worry Funky Fly)

[Just John]

omg this thread rules!

ok how would Spike Dudley assassinate Vince and Trips? (Trips lol I sound like Flair exept without the class)

[Londoner]

Lmao, funny stuff here. I'm abit late but congrats on 10,000, i didn't bother making a thread for my 1,000th maybe i should've done something like this!

As for the topic..
1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one. I might listen.

Rey V Angle. Serious, or if you want to..Eddie/benoit instead, also serious ofcourse.

[Savio]

5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon.
----------
Linda (yes I know she doesn't wrestle.)

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by aaronkyle86 5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon. Carlito

One dark quiet night, Carlito sneaks into the McMahon Mansion. Dropping into the kitchen, he starts to replace the apples on the counter with special "magic" apples that basically poison anyone who eats them. In the process of this, the lights come on, prompting Colon to dive for cover. A sleep HHH comes into the room scratching his ass, then opens the fridge for a midnight snack. He takes out a turkey leg and spends the next 30 minutes feasting on it.

Afterwards, he decides to "eat something healthy" and reaches for an apple. Carlito's heart goes up as he takes one and bites it, but sinks when he realizes it wasn't a poisoned apple (CCC hadn't replaced all of them yet). HHH, after eating one apple, still isn't full, so he reaches for a poisoned one. Carlito, sure that it IS a poisoned one, starts to mentally celebrate, then frowns when he sees Trips finish the fruit without incident.

"Das not cool... oh wait! He's been eating Stephanie out for years. So he's built up a resistance to 'poisonous fruit!'"

Slightly disappointed, Carlito takes a hammock out of his pack and follows HHH upstairs. Before Trips can reach the bedroom, CCC wraps the hammock around Helmsley and starts suffocating him!!!! HHH goes down, and Carlito commences a furious attack, beating him senseless with two very hard coconuts.

After he confirms Trips is dead, he cuts the two coconuts both open. Taking some superglue, he pastes two halves on Triple H's chest, giving a rather comical effect.

The third half he puts over HHH's crotch. And the last half he puts on top of his head.

Carlito then sneaks out of the mansion like a ninja and awaits news of his deeds the following day.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by just john omg this thread rules! ok how would Spike Dudley assassinate Vince and Trips? (Trips lol I sound like Flair exept without the class)

One day, after jobbing to Dawn Marie for the fourth Velocity in a row, a frustrated Spike Dudley decides to kill Vince for destroying his character.

He goes to the phone and calls all 593 of his half brothers, and together they march upon the McMahon estate, orc-style.

Spike goes to the door and rings it, and a surprised Vince answers.

"Spike... what are you and all these inbred hicks doing here?"

Spike replies, (in a comical high voice) "We represent... the Lowercard Guild!!!

Vince swallows a chuckle and asks what they want.

Spike: "We want... to KILLLLLLLLLL YOU!!!!"

The Dudleys overwhelm the mansion and trample over Vince, who pulls both of his quads in the process and does seven Spinneroonies. The rabid hicks destroy everything, burning the kitchen, tearing down the walls, and stealing all the WWE contracts from the safe.

Finally, Spike confronts a battered and bruised Vince one on one.

Vince is on his knees, begging. "Please don't kill me!!!"

But Spike doesn't listen. He does an Acid drop on Vince off the stairs unto the marble floor multiple times, smashing McMahon's head in every time!!!

"This is for toning down Bubba and D-Von! This is for giving me a nice gimmick then burying me! This is for ECW!!! This is for sodomizing Shannon Moore!!..." and so on.

Yet, Vince doesn't die. So Spike busts out the ultimate weapon. Towering over a fallen McMahon, he looks down and says:

"Oh yeah... and I screwed your hot daughter good last night. She says my penis is ten times longer than her husbands."

Vince, overwhelmed with shock, has a heart attack and dies.

[El Santo]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed One dark quiet night, Carlito sneaks into the McMahon Mansion. Dropping into the kitchen, he starts to replace the apples on the counter with special "magic" apples that basically poison anyone who eats them. In the process of this, the lights come on, prompting Colon to dive for cover. A sleep HHH comes into the room scratching his ass, then opens the fridge for a midnight snack. He takes out a turkey leg and spends the next 30 minutes feasting on it. Afterwards, he decides to "eat something healthy" and reaches for an apple. Carlito's heart goes up as he takes one and bites it, but sinks when he realizes it wasn't a poisoned apple (CCC hadn't replaced all of them yet). HHH, after eating one apple, still isn't full, so he reaches for a poisoned one. Carlito, sure that it IS a poisoned one, starts to mentally celebrate, then frowns when he sees Trips finish the fruit without incident. "Das not cool... oh wait! He's been eating Stephanie out for years. So he's built up a resistance to 'poisonous fruit!'" Slightly disappointed, Carlito takes a hammock out of his pack and follows HHH upstairs. Before Trips can reach the bedroom, CCC wraps the hammock around Helmsley and starts suffocating him!!!! HHH goes down, and Carlito commences a furious attack, beating him senseless with two very hard coconuts. After he confirms Trips is dead, he cuts the two coconuts both open. Taking some superglue, he pastes two halves on Triple H's chest, giving a rather comical effect. The third half he puts over HHH's crotch. And the last half he puts on top of his head. Carlito then sneaks out of the mansion like a ninja and awaits news of his deeds the following day.

Oh my Gawd. You really are a sick bastard.

[Nark Order]

Archive this madness

[Volchok]

Congrats Corky, you are truly the man...

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by TL Lmao, funny stuff here. I'm abit late but congrats on 10,000, i didn't bother making a thread for my 1,000th maybe i should've done something like this! As for the topic.. 1. Pick two wrestlers to feud and I will create a feud. Specify if you want a serious feud or a silly one. I might listen. Rey V Angle. Serious.

The premise of this is that Kurt returns to his All American persona a bit. He can even be US champion to emphasize it. The character, however, is tweaked a bit to resemble JBL's fanaticism, and manifests itself controversially in an overly racist form.

The feud itself could begin after a couple of exciting, action packed matches between Angle and Rey (through some tournament or something else where they'd be "randomly" matched against each other), where Rey actually beats Angle just barely (roll up or something that might be interpreted as flukey).

Angle can come out and address Rey and how he makes Angle sick, always waving his Mexican heritage around. Throwing in those Spanish words sometimes. Talking about his luchador background. He can talk about how this country doesn't need little midgets like him, talk about how Kurt Angle is a true American, and be really bigoted about it. Anyone not like Kurt is a wimp, etc... etc...

Kurt escalates the feud later by actually going to Rey's house and intimidating Rey's wife. He knocks on the door, Rey's wife opens, freaks out, Kurt barges in and actually restrains her, then locks her in some closet. Then maybe freaks out his kids by acting really creepy, telling them (as they're cowering under their sheets in bed) that he's gonna do something really bad to their daddy.

Rey might get some measure of revenge the following week by attacking Kurt in a match, but Kurt would beat Rey down, going crazy with a chair.

In the following weeks, Kurt would brag about doing the country a favor by eliminating another "dirty Mexican" (I figure if he can talk about dirty beastiality sex, why not be "racist").

In storybook fashion, Rey would make his comeback, challenge Kurt to a match for the belt, and win after a five star 20 minute match ( ). His celebration would serve as a parable about the triumph of the true American spirit... that "American" refers to all peoples, etc... etc... It's a larger story that teaches against bigotry and shows that the little guy can overcome the odds.

Lotsa kinks to work out, but it's just an idea. Kurt and Rey could feud over who does the better moonsault and make it look good, so yeah.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Savior 5. Name a wrestler and I'd tell you how he/she would assassinate HHH or Vince McMahon. ---------- Linda (yes I know she doesn't wrestle.)

For weeks, Vince has been noticing Linda's rather odd fascination with the movie Basic Instinct. Yet he pays it no harm and goes upon his daily business.

It turns out that Vince has been having multiple affairs with various WWE divas. And Linda found out about them. But rather than confront him outright, she decides to plot her revenge.

She goes to "a guy she knows" and gets an extreme makeover disguise that changes her looks, unbeknownst to her husband. This new look is so amazing it makes her look like a hot 25 year old bachelorette.

Using this look, she lures Vince into a night of while hot passion. It involves ropes and tying to the bed. In the middle of the intercourse, however, she tears off the face mask and reveals herself to him and tells Vince he knows about all the affairs he had. Shocked, Vince tries to escape, but can't because he's tied to the bed. Linda, a woman scorned, takes a blanket and strangles him. Then stabs him 134 times, Sharon Stone style, before leaving the luxury hotel where they're staying and returning home.





Three weeks later, HHH takes over the company. A couple of years after that, the WWE goes out of business. Fortunately, Linda had invested in Segways, which have become all the rage, so she enjoys retirement in splendor while Steph and HHH go penniless. Shane had been disowned in the will but had found success elsewhere, so he was okay too.

[Shadow]

You've got that fucking right.

[Shadow]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Lotsa kinks to work out, but it's just an idea. Kurt and Rey could feud over who does the better moonsault and make it look good, so yeah.

You've got that fucking right Corky.

[Savio]

Segways are all the rage. [/in that voice]

[Corkscrewed]

What voice?

[Nark Order]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed What voice?

THAT one. You ass...

[Corkscrewed]

Oh.

[Chuck Jones]

Serious feud between CM Punk and Eddie Guerrero

[Londoner]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed The premise of this is that Kurt returns to his All American persona a bit. He can even be US champion to emphasize it. The character, however, is tweaked a bit to resemble JBL's fanaticism, and manifests itself controversially in an overly racist form. The feud itself could begin after a couple of exciting, action packed matches between Angle and Rey (through some tournament or something else where they'd be "randomly" matched against each other), where Rey actually beats Angle just barely (roll up or something that might be interpreted as flukey). Angle can come out and address Rey and how he makes Angle sick, always waving his Mexican heritage around. Throwing in those Spanish words sometimes. Talking about his luchador background. He can talk about how this country doesn't need little midgets like him, talk about how Kurt Angle is a true American, and be really bigoted about it. Anyone not like Kurt is a wimp, etc... etc... Kurt escalates the feud later by actually going to Rey's house and intimidating Rey's wife. He knocks on the door, Rey's wife opens, freaks out, Kurt barges in and actually restrains her, then locks her in some closet. Then maybe freaks out his kids by acting really creepy, telling them (as they're cowering under their sheets in bed) that he's gonna do something really bad to their daddy. Rey might get some measure of revenge the following week by attacking Kurt in a match, but Kurt would beat Rey down, going crazy with a chair. In the following weeks, Kurt would brag about doing the country a favor by eliminating another "dirty Mexican" (I figure if he can talk about dirty beastiality sex, why not be "racist"). In storybook fashion, Rey would make his comeback, challenge Kurt to a match for the belt, and win after a five star 20 minute match ( ). His celebration would serve as a parable about the triumph of the true American spirit... that "American" refers to all peoples, etc... etc... It's a larger story that teaches against bigotry and shows that the little guy can overcome the odds. Lotsa kinks to work out, but it's just an idea. Kurt and Rey could feud over who does the better moonsault and make it look good, so yeah.

Sounds good. I guess i gave you too much of an easy task there.

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Chuck Jones Serious feud between CM Punk and Eddie Guerrero

To be honest, I don't know enough about CM Punk, his character, and his background to book a serious feud. I could do some research I guess... unless you want to give me another shot at something else...

[Chuck Jones]

Paul London vs. JBL (comedy)

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by Chuck Jones Paul London vs. JBL (comedy)

Now THIS is can do!



One day, Paul London challenges JBL for the US Title. Cocky, JBL accepts, but is shocked to see London put up such a good fight that he needs OJ to lay him out for the win. The following week, London cuts a promo saying how JBL is just a coward, and how he can beat him easily.

JBL shows up and gets mad, then threatens to sodomize Paul's good friend Billy Kidman in the shower. Paul responds, "You haven't been paying attention to the storylines, have you? We're enemies now."

What follows is the first live sodomy ever shown on TV.

That week, SmackDOWN's ratings drop to a record 0.4... the 400,000 viewers primarily from Texas, where sodomy is "cool."

JBL then proceeds to go on a personal crusade to destroy every Cruiserweight in his way. Since most of them avoid him anyway, this is not too successful, but Shannon Moore unfortunately does bump into him one day. JBL and the Cabinet pummel Moore, shove him into a closet, and enter the closet. For the next ten minutes, there are shuffling sounds heard, screams, groans, wet plops, more things falling down, and finally a really loud splash. JBL comes out looking really happy.

JBL comes to the ring, only to be greeted with chants of "WEAR SOME PANTS!!!" He looks down and realizes that this is a repeat of that dream he used to have as a kid. To make matters worse, Paul London comes out in a water drunk and starts spraying ice cold water at JBL. The resulting shrinkage in his general groin area nears JBL the new nickname JLB: Just a Little Boner.

Humiliated, Bradshaw vows revenge. At the next PPV, in a NO DQ Falls Count Anywhere Match, Bradshaw beats the crap out Paul London, totally stiffing him. He hits the Clothesline from Hell when suddenly...

RON SIMMONS WITH A BOOT OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!

Bradshaw never saw it coming, but his old partner, who he abandoned and thus got a push, has come back to exact revenge! Farooq gives JBL a Dominator onto 49 bottles of beer, busting him up big time. He then pours beer onto Bradshaw's head, then takes a deck of cards and starts giving him paper cuts!

JBL screams in agony as Farooq beats him down. Finally, Paul London gets up onto the top rope and its a BEAUTIFUL 450 Splash!!! He then goes to the other rope and hits the London Calling!!!

London with the cover...

1....... 2.......3!!!!!!

Paul London and Farooq celebrate. As a final act of triumph, they glue coconut halves to JBl's crotch and ass cheeks. Then they glue OJ to the front coconut and Danny and Doug to the back coconuts.