RAW Captions [04/12/04]

**CBright7831** · 04-13-2004, 06:02 PM

**OssMan** · 04-13-2004, 06:06 PM

The old "Head" gimmick had come back to haunt Al Snow.

Eugene: You mean wrestling isn't real?

**tucsonspeed6** · 04-13-2004, 06:09 PM

Benoit: You jellin'?
HBK: Like a fellon!

HHH: HA! You guys beat me up, but I'm fine now!

HBK: He's not jellin'
Benoit: Or sellin'....

(got class in five minutes this is the only one I can do now . All of my captions would have been crappy anyways...)

**Corkscrewed** · 04-13-2004, 06:33 PM

Just so you know, I'm using only captions in the other thread for the archives, so don't waste your posts.

http://tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=10039

**Rock Bottom** · 04-13-2004, 06:38 PM

Instead of typical silk webbing, the Foley spider would wrap its prey in barbwire before eating it.

Kane had warned the Blue Meanie to stand back when his pyro went off.

Sexay pleaded with Kane to let him finish his third lunch before the match continued.

Kane does his best Slingblade impression.

Kane desperately tried to save Grandmaster Sexay from being sucked up into the UFO.

Eugene: I wanna go on that ride, daddy!
Regal: Me too, son. Me too.

Realizing that the WWE fans were weak-minded, Tajiri used the Jedi Mind Trick to get over.

Al Snow regretted the Tequila drinking contest with Eddie Guerrero earlier on.

Tajiri proved once and for all to be the champion of Truth or Dare when he removed A-Train's thong with his teeth.

Coach: Go back to England! And tell them Scotland is free!

Only a dumb bitch like Lita could botch grabbing a target as huge as Trish's breasts.

Lita was wracked in pain. Trish's nipples were hitting the pressure points in her back.

Trish had become so starved over time from vomitting after every meal, that she began to eat her own body parts.

Trish: Don't you ever say that my man's penis looks like an Ostrich head ever again, bitch. *SLAP*

When the ref saw Christian absord Jericho's soul, he knew it was time to take a stance. MORTAL KOMBAT!

Jericho: Ughhh... Head hurts... Where am I?
Trish: On your back, in the middle of the ring...
Jericho: That's the last time I say, "There's no place like home," when having a nightmare.

Eugene had baffled La Resistance by explaining the scientific makeup of the fabric of reality by means of idiot savuant.

Edge was the new Terminator sent by Austin to bury the talent, that would explain why his finger-morphing weapon was done with the middle finger.

Hurricane had body odor that would make even a Frenchman cower.

Eugene: Will you pet my teddybear?
(Strange ticking sound coming from the bear)

Hurricane underwent the tryouts for joining La Resistance.

Eugene: (Crying) It's ruined!
Regal: Well, Eugene, I'm terribly sorry my dear boy. But you have to admit. That bear was more fluffy and cuddly than Triple H.

Flair: *FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT*
Triple H: Hah, that's nothing, check THIS out... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAH.

Crowd: Ho-ly shit! Ho-ly shit! Ho-ly shit!

Foley: *Sigh* Oh no. Not you too, Chris.

JR: BAH GAWD! FLAIR IS LITERALLY URINATING ALL OVER CHARLIE HAAS!
King: Woohoo, puppies!

The ref decided to let this one slide, as Orton was not giving leverage to Triple H for the abdominal stretch. It turned out Triple H was giving leverage to Orton to help him take a shit.

While Cena saw miniature versions of ECW champions on his shoulder when he had to make a decision, it's apparent that Michaels saw up-and-coming stars before screwing a Canadian in their hometown.

When Triple H passed out in the ring, Michaels knew exactly what to do to get him back up...

Triple H: One blowjob, one blowjob, hayabayabaybayba Do I hear one blowjob, haybayabblahblahblah.
Michaels: One blowjob!
Triple H: Two blowjobs, two blowjobs! Do I hear two blowjobs! Hybabayababablahblah.
Benoit: Two blowjobs.
Triple H: Haybahaba two blowjobs, do I hear three blowjobs and your soul? Going once... Going twice... Erm, Shawn?
Michaels: ...Sorry, my soul belongs to Jesus.
Triple H: ...Sold... Benoit retains.

**thuganomicalcrippler** · 04-14-2004, 08:40 AM

OK, I have NEVER done captions before, so if these turn out to be crap, I'm just going to leave it to the pros.

Normal people prefer spaghetti, Mick.

Told you Viagra has side effects.

Kane: Then what happened, Papa Smurf?

NEVER interrupt Kane when he's talking to Smurfs.

Trish: Who's career is doomed forever?

Tajiri: HA HA! You're an Internet Nerd. HAHAHAHA!
TPWW: You're dead and buried.
Tajiri:

Al Snow(thinking) I NEVER get a match, this is the first time I've been on air since November, I don't even have a gimmick anymore.....
Tajiri:Uh...Al? Don't we have a match?
Al: Shut Up. You're dead and buried.
Tajiri:

Look Mom! I'm on TV!!!
Mom: Shut up! You're dead and buried.
Tajiri:

Coach:Why exactly did I take this job?

You NEVER steal a candy bar from Edge understand?

Hurricane: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL......
Other guy: Uh.....holmes, that only works when you have a mic...

And the WWE is proud to present its summer collection....

Flair: Can you see it Shelton?
Shelton: NO! The ights are bright! They're hurting my eyes!
Flair: Keep looking and you'll see.
*Earl Hebner starts counting*
Mick: GET UP! Its a trick you jackass!
Shelton: I can't! Something's holding me down!

Age was catchin up. Shawn needed frequent rests during matches.

Really, Shawn, maybe you should get a trainer?

Triple H: We are gathered here today......

**big_bluto** · 04-15-2004, 07:44 AM

My first go at captions too!

Mick Foley got tired of book advertising and decided it was time to introduce the world to 'The Foley Beard Brush'

Vince watched the reality hit Kane that he was never going to be pushed as 'Kane - Monster of the Blues'

Kane: Dude, that last fart almost made me chunder!
GMS: Wait, wait, I've just floated the mother of all air-biscuits!

GMS: How can you not smell it?? Get closer!

Trish: Have you seen my thong?
Eugene: No
Trish: Have you seen my thong?
Regal: Trish, my dear. Everyone has seen your thong!

When Vince told Al Snow to rest up before the next series of Tough Enough, he forgot to mention that he may be required to perform in the occasional match.

Tajiri: I've got Trish's thong, I've got Trish's thong.

Coach: Dude, that's not Trish's thong, that's JR's.

Edge: I am over with the internet! I wrote on it and everything!

After the challenge was laid down by Grandmaster Sexay for the smelliest farts, Hurricane picked up the challenge........

And as usual Evolution took it just a step too far.

WWe thought that Shelton had been taking advice from Al Snow on rest & relaxation, and quickly appointed Ric Flair to motivate Mr Benjamin.
It was shortly discovered that Shelton Benjamin had been standing behind Hurricane when he cracked off 'The Hurra-hurricane'

Randy Orton was the first to sign up for HBK's 'Walk like The Rock' classes.

After intensive walking-coaching, both Orton and HBK were exhausted and had to stop for a mutual cuddly-snooze.

Triple H: Okay, when I count to 3, grip right hands, with your thumbs up.
Benoit: Ok
HBK: yep, alright then.
Triple H: Now remember that the referee's decision is final. you can't move your feet, and you can't start until after I finish saying' 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war!' That's when you start!
Benoit: Got it.
HBK: Seems clear enough. Who jobs?
Triple H: Can't be my turn again.
HBK: Not me.
Benoit: Not me either.
Triple H: VINCE!!! THEY'RE NOT JOBBING TO ME!!!!!!!!!

04-13-2004, 06:02 PM	#1
CBright7831 Posts: 1,008	RAW Captions [04/12/04]

04-13-2004, 06:06 PM	#2
OssMan The Classic Dylan Staples Posts: 51,452	The old "Head" gimmick had come back to haunt Al Snow. Eugene: You mean wrestling isn't real?

04-13-2004, 06:09 PM	#3
tucsonspeed6 Banned WWE on 1/1/07 Posts: 2,141	Benoit: You jellin'? HBK: Like a fellon! HHH: HA! You guys beat me up, but I'm fine now! HBK: He's not jellin' Benoit: Or sellin'.... (got class in five minutes this is the only one I can do now . All of my captions would have been crappy anyways...)

04-13-2004, 06:33 PM	#4
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	Just so you know, I'm using only captions in the other thread for the archives, so don't waste your posts. http://tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=10039

04-13-2004, 06:38 PM	#5
Rock Bottom Ball So Hard University Posts: 8,450	Instead of typical silk webbing, the Foley spider would wrap its prey in barbwire before eating it. Kane had warned the Blue Meanie to stand back when his pyro went off. Sexay pleaded with Kane to let him finish his third lunch before the match continued. Kane does his best Slingblade impression. Kane desperately tried to save Grandmaster Sexay from being sucked up into the UFO. Eugene: I wanna go on that ride, daddy! Regal: Me too, son. Me too. Realizing that the WWE fans were weak-minded, Tajiri used the Jedi Mind Trick to get over. Al Snow regretted the Tequila drinking contest with Eddie Guerrero earlier on. Tajiri proved once and for all to be the champion of Truth or Dare when he removed A-Train's thong with his teeth. Coach: Go back to England! And tell them Scotland is free! Only a dumb bitch like Lita could botch grabbing a target as huge as Trish's breasts. Lita was wracked in pain. Trish's nipples were hitting the pressure points in her back. Trish had become so starved over time from vomitting after every meal, that she began to eat her own body parts. Trish: Don't you ever say that my man's penis looks like an Ostrich head ever again, bitch. SLAP When the ref saw Christian absord Jericho's soul, he knew it was time to take a stance. MORTAL KOMBAT! Jericho: Ughhh... Head hurts... Where am I? Trish: On your back, in the middle of the ring... Jericho: That's the last time I say, "There's no place like home," when having a nightmare. Eugene had baffled La Resistance by explaining the scientific makeup of the fabric of reality by means of idiot savuant. Edge was the new Terminator sent by Austin to bury the talent, that would explain why his finger-morphing weapon was done with the middle finger. Hurricane had body odor that would make even a Frenchman cower. Eugene: Will you pet my teddybear? (Strange ticking sound coming from the bear) Hurricane underwent the tryouts for joining La Resistance. Eugene: (Crying) It's ruined! Regal: Well, Eugene, I'm terribly sorry my dear boy. But you have to admit. That bear was more fluffy and cuddly than Triple H. Flair: FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT Triple H: Hah, that's nothing, check THIS out... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAH. Crowd: Ho-ly shit! Ho-ly shit! Ho-ly shit! Foley: Sigh Oh no. Not you too, Chris. JR: BAH GAWD! FLAIR IS LITERALLY URINATING ALL OVER CHARLIE HAAS! King: Woohoo, puppies! The ref decided to let this one slide, as Orton was not giving leverage to Triple H for the abdominal stretch. It turned out Triple H was giving leverage to Orton to help him take a shit. While Cena saw miniature versions of ECW champions on his shoulder when he had to make a decision, it's apparent that Michaels saw up-and-coming stars before screwing a Canadian in their hometown. When Triple H passed out in the ring, Michaels knew exactly what to do to get him back up... Triple H: One blowjob, one blowjob, hayabayabaybayba Do I hear one blowjob, haybayabblahblahblah. Michaels: One blowjob! Triple H: Two blowjobs, two blowjobs! Do I hear two blowjobs! Hybabayababablahblah. Benoit: Two blowjobs. Triple H: Haybahaba two blowjobs, do I hear three blowjobs and your soul? Going once... Going twice... Erm, Shawn? Michaels: ...Sorry, my soul belongs to Jesus. Triple H: ...Sold... Benoit retains.

04-14-2004, 08:40 AM	#6
thuganomicalcrippler Peeps Unite Posts: 259	OK, I have NEVER done captions before, so if these turn out to be crap, I'm just going to leave it to the pros. Normal people prefer spaghetti, Mick. Told you Viagra has side effects. Kane: Then what happened, Papa Smurf? NEVER interrupt Kane when he's talking to Smurfs. Trish: Who's career is doomed forever? Tajiri: HA HA! You're an Internet Nerd. HAHAHAHA! TPWW: You're dead and buried. Tajiri: Al Snow(thinking) I NEVER get a match, this is the first time I've been on air since November, I don't even have a gimmick anymore..... Tajiri:Uh...Al? Don't we have a match? Al: Shut Up. You're dead and buried. Tajiri: Look Mom! I'm on TV!!! Mom: Shut up! You're dead and buried. Tajiri: Coach:Why exactly did I take this job? You NEVER steal a candy bar from Edge understand? Hurricane: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...... Other guy: Uh.....holmes, that only works when you have a mic... And the WWE is proud to present its summer collection.... Flair: Can you see it Shelton? Shelton: NO! The ights are bright! They're hurting my eyes! Flair: Keep looking and you'll see. Earl Hebner starts counting Mick: GET UP! Its a trick you jackass! Shelton: I can't! Something's holding me down! Age was catchin up. Shawn needed frequent rests during matches. Really, Shawn, maybe you should get a trainer? Triple H: We are gathered here today......

04-15-2004, 07:44 AM	#7
big_bluto Triple A's a bitch Posts: 1,039	My first go at captions too! Mick Foley got tired of book advertising and decided it was time to introduce the world to 'The Foley Beard Brush' Vince watched the reality hit Kane that he was never going to be pushed as 'Kane - Monster of the Blues' Kane: Dude, that last fart almost made me chunder! GMS: Wait, wait, I've just floated the mother of all air-biscuits! GMS: How can you not smell it?? Get closer! Trish: Have you seen my thong? Eugene: No Trish: Have you seen my thong? Regal: Trish, my dear. Everyone has seen your thong! When Vince told Al Snow to rest up before the next series of Tough Enough, he forgot to mention that he may be required to perform in the occasional match. Tajiri: I've got Trish's thong, I've got Trish's thong. Coach: Dude, that's not Trish's thong, that's JR's. Edge: I am over with the internet! I wrote on it and everything! After the challenge was laid down by Grandmaster Sexay for the smelliest farts, Hurricane picked up the challenge........ And as usual Evolution took it just a step too far. WWe thought that Shelton had been taking advice from Al Snow on rest & relaxation, and quickly appointed Ric Flair to motivate Mr Benjamin. It was shortly discovered that Shelton Benjamin had been standing behind Hurricane when he cracked off 'The Hurra-hurricane' Randy Orton was the first to sign up for HBK's 'Walk like The Rock' classes. After intensive walking-coaching, both Orton and HBK were exhausted and had to stop for a mutual cuddly-snooze. Triple H: Okay, when I count to 3, grip right hands, with your thumbs up. Benoit: Ok HBK: yep, alright then. Triple H: Now remember that the referee's decision is final. you can't move your feet, and you can't start until after I finish saying' 1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war!' That's when you start! Benoit: Got it. HBK: Seems clear enough. Who jobs? Triple H: Can't be my turn again. HBK: Not me. Benoit: Not me either. Triple H: VINCE!!! THEY'RE NOT JOBBING TO ME!!!!!!!!!