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Old 04-17-2004, 01:17 PM   #1
Kane Knight
Ron Paul 4 EVA
 
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Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Kane Knight makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)
Bad directions to take characters in...
Triple H: The Gamemaster: Triple H starts wrestling with thick glasses and a pocket protecter. His theme music is changed to references of how he holds all the dice.

GrandMaster Sex Change: Brian Christopher borrows some of the Diva's implants and "experiments...."

Goldberg: Master technician: Bill Goldberg starts challenging people to REAL wrestling matches (No brawling, like the concept of Benoit/Austin way back when). Bill is continuously dqed from his own matches, because botching his finisher does not count as a technical move.

Bah. These are crap. Someone come up with some funny ones.

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”

--John Rogers
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Old 04-17-2004, 01:20 PM   #2
Bad Company
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Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Bad Company got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Bret Hart. The Sexualence of Execution.
Bret Hart places his victims in the sharpshooter before comitting snuff. Sunny is also involved.
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Old 04-17-2004, 01:29 PM   #3
Rock Bottom
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Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
William Bagel: The regal one is reduced to cream cheese duty for the WWE.

Charlie Hoss: Charlie meets up with Tammy Lynn and forgets all about the atkins diet.

Rob Van Dom: RVD pairs with Shaniqua and lets his kinkiness shine through in his matches. He is quickly joined with Evolution.

Randy Whoreton: Randy Orton reveals his success to be a result of whoring himself out to WWE officials.

Slim Ross: Starts rapping all his commentating, in a John Cena-like way.

Paul Gayman: Paul's character takes a turn for the worst when he is paired with Rico.

Lawn Michaels: After refusing to job to Vince in an I Spit match, Michaels is quickly reduced to mowing all the lawns of the arenas.

The Hurrikane: The Hurricane is fed to Kane one too many times and is shit out wearing a leather mask.

The Cock: The Rock quickly becomes an even bigger dick than he is now.

Big Man 'Bater: Vader makes his return to the WWE by performing hand-induced masturbatory services for WWE officials.
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Old 04-17-2004, 02:14 PM   #4
Nark Order
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Candy Kane: Starts wearing festive white and red attire; passing sweets to children as he playfully prances to the ring. When his pyro goes off, he happily roasts marshmallows in the roaring flames...
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Old 04-17-2004, 03:20 PM   #5
tucsonspeed6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rock Bottom

The Cock: The Rock quickly becomes an even bigger dick than he is now.
I'm shocked....Rocky, I never thought I'd hear those words come from you.
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Old 04-17-2004, 03:36 PM   #6
Savio
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The S.H.I.T.: Rosey pretends to be a super hero.
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Old 04-17-2004, 03:42 PM   #7
Xero
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Undertaker, Cowboy from Hell: Undertaker changes his music to gongs followed by Kid Rock's "Cowboy". He rides out on a horse dressed like he is now, and Paul rides out on a Shetland Pony dressed as a cowboy, and instead of the urn, he carries a branding iron with the Undertaker symbol on it. Taker's finisher is changed to the "Branding from Hell"... Use your imagination...

John "Hobo" Layfield: After failing miserablly in the stock market, John proceeds to come to the ring in a 1989 junker and goes around the ring offering to do things for the fans for food.

Big Show Sweatin to the Oldies: Big Show loses a little weight (Not even noticable, but he says he does) and starts a stable with A Train, Rikishi, and Mark Henery called "Weightloss 4000"... They all lose a little like the Big Show and start doing horibly botched high flying moves...

Booker T Sucka: Sells his services to anyone and everyone in the WWE, and eventually marries Rico in a city that still allows it.

Scotty 2 Hotty Worm Boy: Scotty starts to talk about a "Worm" that he talks to alot. Rikishi gets freaked out eventually and quits the team. After a few weeks of "Worm" talk, Scotty reveals that the "Worm" is Grandmaster Sexay dressed as a dildo... In matches, they're finisher is the Double Penetration.
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Old 04-17-2004, 03:48 PM   #8
Moongoose Mcqueen
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Kurt Angel: Kurt Angle leaves his dead body from smackdown and goes around looking out for various faces on Smackdown, and being with them throughout the match, but hes only a spirit so he can't be attacked.
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Old 04-17-2004, 03:55 PM   #9
Savio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126
Scotty 2 Hotty Worm Boy: Scotty starts to talk about a "Worm" that he talks to alot. Rikishi gets freaked out eventually and quits the team. After a few weeks of "Worm" talk, Scotty reveals that the "Worm" is Grandmaster Sexay dressed as a dildo... In matches, they're finisher is the Double Penetration.
Like little johnny!
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:23 PM   #10
Xero
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savior
Like little johnny!
Exactly, only this time go all the way
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:23 PM   #11
Draven
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Ahmed Johnson: Ahmed Johnson returns to the WWE, but now wrestles naked. His new finisher is when he slaps his opponent in the face with his Johnson.

Oklahabacca: Jim Ross now does commentary dressed as Chewbacca, and well as making lovable Wookie sounds instead of his regular babbling.

Robotaker: Deadman, Biker, Dead cowboy, and now dead cybernetic cop. Stumped for a direction for Taker, WWE writers decide to slap Robocop gear on Taker.
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:31 PM   #12
Rock Bottom
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Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tucsonspeed6
I'm shocked....Rocky, I never thought I'd hear those words come from you.
lol, it was the only thing I could think of to rhyme.
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:39 PM   #13
KingofOldSchool
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Jerry "The Queen" Lawler: On a live edition of RAW, Jerry Lawler proclaims his desire to be a woman so he can have puppies of his own 24/7. Then a few weeks later we are treated to footage of Lawler's "enhancement" surgery. The next week on RAW, Lawler makes his return and announces that right before his surgery he decided he wanted a vagina too, so he is no longer "The King" because he is now a "Queen."
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:42 PM   #14
KingofOldSchool
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Mike Awesome "The Fat Chick Thriller:" Errrrrr...wait a minute...
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:43 PM   #15
Rock Bottom
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Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingofOldSchool
Jerry "The Queen" Lawler: On a live edition of RAW, Jerry Lawler proclaims his desire to be a woman so he can have puppies of his own 24/7. Then a few weeks later we are treated to footage of Lawler's "enhancement" surgery. The next week on RAW, Lawler makes his return and announces that right before his surgery he decided he wanted a vagina too, so he is no longer "The King" because he is now a "Queen."
rofl
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:45 PM   #16
Kane Knight
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"The Rock Bottom."

Rocky returns to wrestling full time, and becomes a sub for the Bashams and Shaniqua.
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:47 PM   #17
KingofOldSchool
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Matt Hardy "Teen Detective:" Matt gets slammed to the mat one too many times and he ends up getting amnesia. Once Matt comes too, he picks up a Hardy Boys book and starts to read it. Since his last name is Hardy and the characters last name is Hardy then he assumes that he is a detective too. So on RAW Matt debuts his new gimmick where comes out to the ring dressed like Sherlock Holmes to a T, complete with hat and pipe. His theme is a mystery moviesque theme and his first feud is with Evolution, because when he heard Evolutions theme lyric "Evolution is a mystery," Matt said to himself "Hey that's a mystery that Detective Hardy can solve!"
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:48 PM   #18
Kane Knight
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Does Lita change her last name to "drew" and team up with Matt again?
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:48 PM   #19
Rock Bottom
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Dike Dudley: Spike takes a turn in sexuality and aligns himself with Jerry "The Queen" Lawler.
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:49 PM   #20
loopydate
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Wyno: The Drunken Man-Beast staggers through his maches before hitting the FLOOR FLOOR FLOOR!

Erik Bishov: The RAW General Manager is revealed to be an ex-KGB operative sent to infiltrate American big business.

Micktoria: After one too many blows to the head, the Hardcore Legend begins coming to the ring in revealing pink two-pieces to the tune of "All The Things She Said" by T.A.T.U.

Natural Disasters 2K4: Al Snow, Lance Storm, and the Hurricane dress in matching singlets and cut promos about "A change in the weather." Actually...this might not be so bad...
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:51 PM   #21
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Trash Stratus: After being dumped by Christian, Trish Stratus really thinks she is trash. So she hooks up with a returning Duke "The Dumpster" Droese and Trish comes out to the ring in a garbage dumpster pushed by Droese himself. And to hammer home the point that she is trash, she is covered in trash, and she smells like trash too.
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:55 PM   #22
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The McDonalds Fun Time Gang: The Hurricane and Rosey start to believe The Rock when he calls them The Hamburglar and Grimace, so they change they looks. Then they hire the help of Kane to be Ronald McDonald because he realizes his career is now a joke. Birdie is played by Nidia and Mayor McCheese is played by the A-Train.
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Old 04-17-2004, 04:57 PM   #23
Rock Bottom
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Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)Rock Bottom puts the "bang" in Bangladesh (30,000+)
Rikooshi: Rikishi comes out with little flabs hanging off him like a koosh ball, and dances around in the ring.

Mr. Show: Big Show has all of his lines written by David Cross. (Actually, that'd be good too.)
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Old 04-17-2004, 05:03 PM   #24
Rock Bottom
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Kane Knight: Kane comes out to the ring and instead of a mask, he is wearing a helmet and is fully plated in heavy armor. His finisher becomes a big boot called "The Joust," and he is determined to fight Jamie Noble to the death.
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Old 04-17-2004, 05:53 PM   #25
PureHatred
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The Undie-Taker: After a failed return of the Dead Man, Mark Calloway becomes Smackdown's resident pervert, indiscriminately snatching the undergarments of WWE superstars. We are treated to week after uncomfortable week of segments where the "Taker" rummages through lockers and sniffs the thongs/jockstraps of Charlie Haas, Torrie, and -eventually- Rico.

The ensuing rivalry with Rico is settled in the first ever "Helluva Smell Match."
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Old 04-17-2004, 05:58 PM   #26
Rock Bottom
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PureHatred
The Undie-Taker: After a failed return of the Dead Man, Mark Calloway becomes Smackdown's resident pervert, indiscriminately snatching the undergarments of WWE superstars. We are treated to week after uncomfortable week of segments where the "Taker" rummages through lockers and sniffs the thongs/jockstraps of Charlie Haas, Torrie, and -eventually- Rico.

The ensuing rivalry with Rico is settled in the first ever "Helluva Smell Match."
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Old 04-17-2004, 06:40 PM   #27
Ferocious
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Ferocious is a chill bro (7,500+)Ferocious is a chill bro (7,500+)Ferocious is a chill bro (7,500+)Ferocious is a chill bro (7,500+)Ferocious is a chill bro (7,500+)
Long John Cena w/Sqwark his parrot - Cena would stop the raps and start singing old sea shanties instead. With his hooked hand as a possibly the most original weapon the WWE have ever used. (Aside from Goldberg - but to be honest he isnt a weapon he's a tool.)

The Nacho Man Randy Savage - Would join Rhyno as a trainee vendor during dark matches at every show

Hay Mysterio - Would hire Hillbilly Jim as a Manager and start chewing straw whilst changing his attire to denim dungarees and Cactus Jacks Plaid Shirt.

Mean Eugene - Raws No1 Announcer

Shark Henry - The Worlds strongest man would be seen in backstage segments trying to chat up various divas
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Old 04-17-2004, 06:40 PM   #28
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Rock Bottom: Rock comes out dress like a huge ass and says, "Now you'll know what the rock was cooking."
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:02 PM   #29
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Rico as "El Zorro: The Gay Blade."
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:19 PM   #30
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LMAO @ this thread
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:26 PM   #31
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Looking back at this I think the Long John Cena gimmick has legs. Have the WWE ever used a pirate before?. The whole rapper thing is going to blow over within the next 6 - 8 months this could be the way forward
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Old 04-17-2004, 08:12 PM   #32
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BLaZeR- does not have that much rep yet (10+)
Clit-toria: WWE's first ever raging bull dyke who won't stop for anything until she gets every diva to bend to her will.

Too Cold Steve Austin: Austin comes back with 70's pimp attire and two ladies by his side, and if the ladies don't dance good enough for the crowd....Good Ol' Too Cold gives them a slap to the mouth.

Rico Suave: After being knock out cold by Eddie Guerrero...Rico starts to lose his memory and thinks he's now Latin, he comes out in his matches with a long hair and a bandana, leather jacket with no shirt, skin tight jeans and cowboy boots.


"The Big Sho" Funaki: Funaki stumbles into WWE's secret lab and finds Vince McMahon's Super Hoss formula which turns him from a crusierweight jobber into a.............................................. 7 foot 500 lbs jobber.

"The Incredible Hulk" Hogan : Hogan makes his return to the WWE when a normal day of tanning goes wrong and Hogan absorbs leathal amounts of radiation which causes him to turn into red/orange hulking monster with Ed Leslie for an ass.

Ko-Kane: Kane finally gets tired of becoming the guy who puts others over when he starts selling cocaine to the WWE locker room, when they start to get addicted to it he asks them to job to them for another fix. This also leads to a 10 year Kane title reign when he creates the coke-roid serum and introduces it to Triple H.
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Old 04-17-2004, 08:43 PM   #33
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Jewish (The wrestler formerly known as Christian): After revealing to the World that he is Jewish, Christian feels like he is letting down his religion by calling himself Christian. So he adopts his new name "Jewish" to complete this transformation he changes his theme to his version of the Dradle Song and his entrance attire is complete with the traditional Jewish hat. This leads to a three way religious showdown between Jewish, HBK, and the returning Tiger Ali Singh.

Rikishi Lake: On an episode of SMACKDOWN! Rikishi reveals that he is the long lost brother of TV talk show host Rikki Lake. To hammer this point home he debuts his own talk show on SMACKDOWN! called the "Rikishi Lake Show." His new catchphrase..."You go girlfriend!"
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Old 04-17-2004, 09:02 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingofOldSchool

Rikishi Lake: On an episode of SMACKDOWN! Rikishi reveals that he is the long lost brother of TV talk show host Rikki Lake. To hammer this point home he debuts his own talk show on SMACKDOWN! called the "Rikishi Lake Show." His new catchphrase..."You go girlfriend!"

PMFSL Rikishi Lake thats pure magic
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Old 04-17-2004, 09:07 PM   #35
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
So far, Loopy and PureHatred PWNZ this thread.

Now it's time to see if I can't do some.

Cane: Glen Jacobs is feuding with Tajiri, when the Japanese Buzzsaw unleashes the infamous Black Mist that he used on Nidia. This, of course, leaves Kane blinded, and now he has to go everywhere with a pair of sunglasses and a certain walking stick from whence he derives his new name.

Creationism: HBK's new stable to feud with Evolution, with Christian (of course) as his sidekick.

Stephanie McMan: Steph shocks the world (especially Hunter) by unveiling her horrible, horrible secret. On a side note, HHH will from now on be referred to as the Crying Game.

Randy "Actually Getting Over on his Own" Orton: WWE stops spoon-feeding Orton to us and sees how well he fares trying to make it big on his own merits.

Damn, these are hard to do without sucking.
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Old 04-17-2004, 09:17 PM   #36
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Porn Marie - Starts coming to the ring wearing nothing but censor signs and becomes Val 'Penis's valet as the both go down the pornstar gimmick route.

Kevin 'Hash' - Big Daddy Cool Diesel is over! 'Hash', Rob Van 'Dope' and Brian 'Disco Biscuiter' form a new stable full of stoners.
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Old 04-17-2004, 10:24 PM   #37
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Billy Gumm. After a particularly brutal dropkick from Mark Jindrak, Billy Gunn requires massive dental surgery and all of his teeth are removed. He comes to the ring wearing dentures, which he removes and places in a jar on the announce table.

Softcore Holly. Pretty self-explanatory.

Bluejean. After his retard gimmick fails, Nick Dinsmore becomes the "Denim Menace."

Chlanidia. After a raucous night with Val Venis, Nidia comes to the ring with painful, open sores.

Blurricane. Gregory Helms needs glasses!

Rosey the Riveter. Fightin' on the homefront!

Blurt Angle. The Olympic Champion has a bad bout of Tourette's.

Carnie Wilson. Torrie decides to join the circus.
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Old 04-17-2004, 10:36 PM   #38
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BTW, ROFL at "Creationism." That's brilliant.
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Old 04-17-2004, 10:50 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
BTW, ROFL at "Creationism." That's brilliant.
Suuuuuure, but don't laugh when I coined it originally.
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Old 04-17-2004, 10:51 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane Knight
Suuuuuure, but don't laugh when I coined it originally.
When was this? Sorry I missed it.

Even so, ROFL.
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