Backlash captions...

[Savio]

...They don't have them up yet but see if you can work with this:

[Sephiroth]

HBK: That isn't how the Sharpshooter is done!
Benoit: Yes, it is! I got your leg over the other leg and then...
HHH: Remember that one time, when Nash was backstage and.....
HBK: Stop it!, Stop it! I can't stand Nash jokes * taps out *

[Shaggy]

Beniot: Look HBK there is a spider right by your hand. Bet you cant kill it
HBK: Oh yea....
HHH: No Shawn No its a trick!!!!!!!

[Jonster]

Originally Posted by Shaggy Beniot: Look HBK there is a spider right by your hand. Bet you cant kill it HBK: Oh yea.... HHH: No Shawn No its a trick!!!!!!!

[Kane Knight]

On the upside, it made Michaels tap, but Benoit was embarrassed...This was not the time to let one go...

[Sephiroth]

Originally Posted by Kane Knight On the upside, it made Michaels tap, but Benoit was embarrassed...This was not the time to let one go...

[Azriel]

Here they are:

[Azriel]

Those WWE wrestlers sure have gotten creative with their YMCAs lately

[Kapoutman]

Flair's knees problems were getting worse, and he now needed Benjamin's help to bend his knees.

Flair had a lot of taste, and this "Shelton Benjamin" Gargoyle would be a great addition to his appartment.

This was the ref's first time at producing a porno, and his actors needed some help.
Ref: No Tajiri, you have to be facing him to do a 69!

Oh well, Tajiri may not have the right technique, but Coach was enjoying this anyway.

Tajiri was impressed. The Coach was doing push-ups ON HIS HANDs, without support.

Tajiri was mystified. Having found the formula for eternal youth, Flair was now making run ins left and right again.

"That's great" Coach thought. "Now that he's young again, I can have **** matches at any time."

Pastel is all the rage this season, and Christian wasn't pleased that Jericho tried to one-up him.

Trish: "Hmmm...That looks good, but we'll need to change the wrist tape color to make it totally match."

Since Trish was stuck with her limbs straightened, Jericho had to help her to the back.

Maxx Orbisson wasn't pleased at all. "These Ass**** Twins sure changed a lot since the first movie."

This yoga position wasn't comfortable at all, even though Lita could finally focus all that energy.

Lita was ferocious when shopping, and she wasn't about to let Victoria have the last red shirt.

Ref: "That's it baby. Now you take her while she's sleeping. Viewers will LOVE it, I'm telling you."

The Ding Dongs were a flop, but the "Gong Pounders" were not that much better.

Sure, Foley was suffering, but Orton wasn't going to let Foley be humiliated by Rhyno, who left a surprise on the baseball bat.

Unfortunately, Orton pulled too much and it was now his turn to be made fun of.

Chef Boyardee didn't want him back, so now Foley had to do some publicity for a third rate Barbecue company.

Orton bought too much balloons at the fair, and Foley tried to keep him grounded to the best of his strenght.

Orton took the art of body piercing a little too far, but dammit, he was going to appear in the Guiness record book.

Ref: "Okay guys, that's the key scene. Foley, you lost Orton for a long time and this is your first night back together. JUMP ON HIM."

Orton was completely ehausted, and Batista was impressed that Randy could sustain suck a "performance" by Foley.

Eugene could not quite recapture the magic of Jimmy Hart & The Rougeau Brothers. Anyway, he didn't have any megaphone.

A ref with ADD was not a good idea for a match so important.
Ref: 1,2...Are these ants red or black?

Sure, the ref was paying a lot, but now way Kane was going to stick something THAT big in him.

His hair were now out of control...he couldn't stop screaming...Slowly, Edge was turning into the Ultimate Warrior.

Kane was so bad of a wrestler that Edge had to show him mid-match how to execute a chokeslam.

Ref: All right Benoit...GO FOR IT.
HHH: Well, I prefer the other way around, usually.
Ref: Dammit, I said do it!

Benoit had strange ways of showing his apreciation...Had he knew sooner, no way HBK would have played out that "hand" scene with Benoit.

The ref was becoming mad when his actors couldn't follow his directions, but HBK had no idea what a "Inverted Semi Leg Crossed Penetration" was, and Benoit was feeling the pain from the inexperience of Shawn.

Benoit had to be restrained since he wanted to get out of his contract for the next scene, which was titled "Thugging' and bangin'".

Triple H had lost the belt a month sooner. He now had to give a human sacrifice to his God in a last effort.

Benoit was convincing HHH that this catapult was without importance.
HHH: Wait a minute, didn't I lose to some other guy that way two weeks ago?

The ref ordered a change of position, but Benoit couldn't do it better than Michaels.
Ref: Forget it. That movie won't draw a nickel anyway.

Benoit took off his big gold belt, making his pants fall down in the process.
Ref: Impressive.

Sorry, I had a filthy mind today.

[Danny Electric]

Molly and Gail Kim were shocked to see Randy Savage backstage dressed up as a memeber of ABBA.

[Corkscrewed]

Tension mounted as the candy cane tug-of-war reached his fifth hour.


Shelton: "I don't get it, Flair. I can get to the top rope, how come you can't?" *BONK* "OW! What the... a glass ceiling??? We didn't have these on SmackDOWN!"


Japanese prostate exams were... awkward, to say the least.


Goro became quite concerned when his lower arms suddenly morphed into a set of legs.


Tajiri chuckled. They always fell for the Bottom Turnbuckle Inspection gag.


When Tajiri shot accidentally fired a shot at heaven, all chaos broke loose and time started to reverse...


Sure Coach needed heat, but sticking a newly dyed David Flair next to him wasn't going to help.


Jericho wasn't falling for the "what's this" flick your nose bit. Not this time.

OR

Christian and Trish enjoy a game of pictionary on the Chris Jericho Chalkboard, now available on WWE ShopZone.


Finally, once and for all, Jericho was going to... KILL BRITNEY.

OR

Trish knew it was the end for her when she became trapped in Jericho's glass box.


Master of multitasking, Jericho amazingly placed Trish on a horizontal invisible crucifix AND fingered her at the same time!


Things got a little awkward when Eugene found GI Jane hanging out with a Commie...


Mike Sparks: "Must... resist... urge to... rub..."

OR

The Litoria Table would have been splended if it weren't for that bump in the middle.


After seeing her husband job about four times within the span of a month, Stephanie took it upon herself to badly disguise herself as female wrestlers and start taking out the Divas one by one in order to win the Women's Championship. At least that way, there'd be ONE title in the household.


Horrified by the fashion crime that was Molly's wig, Victoria immediately passed out.


This wasn't what Orton had in mind when he suggested Foley "take out the trash."


"MY STEEL BLADED COTTON CANDY!!!"


Mick: "Note to self: wiping other people's eyes with barbed wire Q-tips is not a good idea."


Mick wasn't sure how JR's BBQ sauce could possibly make these ribs better, but he figured he'd at least give it a try.


Moments later, Mick countered this into the most amazing Bossman Sidewalk Slam ever!!!


When Triple H said Orton would be Evolution's pin cushion, Randy didn't think literally....

OR

Mick was the ultimate prankster. In each little bit of paper, written in tiny letters, was the phrase "Kick Me."


Orton was just this close to cementing himself as a legitimate legend-in-the-making, but he just had to take that mid-match nap to restore endurance!


Batista: (to Orton) "Man Randy! You did great! You okay?"
(to himself) 'That's it... just slowly go down. He's so out of it he'll never realize what's going on... and I can just blame it on lecherous Ric later.'


He may have been mentally challenged, but even Eugene knew this American flag was missing a few stars.


Contrary to most models, the French Fart Cannon stops working without firing a single shot...


Kane: "That... that's a push. Give it to me."
Edge: "No. Why?"
Kane: "Cuz it's my birthday... and me wants it..."
Edge: "No! I found it!"
Kane: "CAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
*sounds of two Hobbits struggling*


Edge: "Doh! Steven and his archery AGAIN!!"


After Edge had some sour Starburst, Kane knew the only way to restore Edge's face was to grab his mouth and pull.


Benoit: "THIS IS HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO FUCK WITH SOMEONE!!! HOW DO YA LIKE IT NOW, BITCH???"


Benoit proves himself to be the man again by locking in the Crossface in his sleep.


Benoit could take the Sharpshooter. It was Hebner's stupid Matrix impressions that were messing him up.


"Hmph, that was simple," Triple H thought. "All I do is pull Benoit's head off and I'm top guy again. Why didn't I think of that before?"


Paul/Peter/Mary: "Didn't we say not to rub it in, you ASS???"


Benoit revelled in the irony of how the hold-down roles had changed in such a short time.


Triple H picked a bad time to mistake the bottom ring rope for Stephanie.


Benoit screamed. When someone started raising the belt, Chris did all that he could to hang on and keep it down within his grasp.

[Rock Bottom]

Shelton Benjamin's new "Flight Attendant" gimmick didn't go over too well.


Shelton: My spider sense is tingling.
Choppers: SHELTON. We know you're here.
Flair: You're nothing but a no good crook Shelton-Man!
Shelton: Gotta go! (Backflips out)


Tajiri: Must... steal... black man's... penis... to end... stereotypes...


Coach does his impression of people who ordered the PPV by kicking himself in the head.


Tajiri was cruel, but tying coach up, upside-down, next to a Furby, was way too far.


Meanwhile, Coach was performing fellatio on the ref, while Tajiri was being bondage whipped by Steven Richards.

Flair: Stop that plane!


Garrison Cade gave it up for The Coach for pulling off the greatest upset of all times. Beating Tajiri? No, it's him being on PPV that upset me.


Jericho: Christian, just tell me why you dumped me for her, baby...
Christian: Well, for one, you are lacking in the Flair department.


"That's all right," said Trish, "I don't need to be put in The Balls of Jericho."


Jericho: Mmm, so soft... Yet so firm...
Trish: Um... Chris? You gonna fallaway slam me sometime tonight?
Jericho: Mmm, you know what would be even better Trish? If I gave you a hangman's delayed flowing hovering very slow tombstone... Over and over...


Kim and Holly were shocked, when Eugene's arm extended and A-Train began to ooze out of his arm pit.


Victoria: Hahaha, "Mexican" Surfboard...
Lita: Nice try, I'm not even a surfboard, idiot!


Victoria: Wow Lita, you sure have big feet...
Lita: Mhm, and you know what that means.
(Strange flopping sounds come from behind Victoria)
Victoria: OH MY GOD!


Molly: Take that, you fascist slut!
Kim: Umm... I think we got the wrong convention.
Ref: Hee Man Drag Queen Haters is three blocks south of here.


Orton would die before letting Foley clean his ears with THAT thing.


Foley knew it was a bad idea to invite Orton over to Thanksgiving dinner when the two fought over the first bite of the "hardcore turkey leg."


Orton regretted being the first one to try out the "Foley Hairbrush."


When Foley saw his T-shirt, he knew he could get a massive reward for lynching the fucker with a torch on live television...


Orton: Say cheese Mick!
Foley: Cheeeee-
Orton: SUCKER.


Randy Orton's punishment for being AWOL from the US Marines was letting special forces use his back as a map of possible terrorist locations.


Randy Orton would sacrafice his own body to stop Mick from singing a Fine Young Cannibals song at a karaoke party.


Batista: Shit... They shot Orton in the head...
Flair: Hunter said to check his vitals. (Rubs Orton's ass)
Batista: (Rubs Orton's schlong)


This was just further proof that any retard could capture the French flag.


Hurricane tried desperately to nurse La Resistance into giving him another S.H.I.T.


Kane: Oh yes... OH... AHHHHHHHHH!
Edge: You're the pitcher and I'm the catcher, why are YOU screaming in pain?
Kane: Triple H is behind me...


Edge does his Lesnar NFL try-out impression, while Kane does his Lesnar-on-a-bike impression.


Kane: HAHA, no noogies this time Mark! Oh my bad.


Benoit: TAKE IT.
Hunter: ARGH, STOP IT!
Benoit: YEAH HOW'S IT FEEL?
Hunter: Please don't... Don't-BUAAAAAAAAH.
Benoit: Guess whoo-oooo... Ahhhhhhh yeah.


Benoit was surprisingly satisfied with Mike Tyson's advice regarding whether or not Michaels would screw Benoit like he did Bret. CHOMP!


Benoit knew he was okay when he saw Earl frantically trying to get out of the mime box trap he set.


Who would have thought the Invisible Crucifix was just Hunter taking a dump all along...


Benoit quickly grabbed Triple H and prevented him from splattering Michaels's brains all over the ring.
Benoit: Hunter, it's WAY too soon for you to turn face! Now drop it before they notice I'm stopping you.


Benoit: Triple H, you wore me gold for far too long. Now I have my revenge, feel the wrath of me schlong.


Earl: I SEE THOSE HARTS ON YOUR KNEECAPS! RING THE BELL!
Michaels: WHAT!?


Benoit: Yes indeed, I retained me gold, just as you predicted. But RB predicted 'Mania, so you can all suck his dickhead.

[Rock Bottom]

LOL Kapoutman, you are my kinda captioneer. at dirty captions. That Orgasmo caption rocked.

[Savio]

Coach: Look tajiri, I'm brock lesnar doing a moonsault!

Flair was getting old with in 2 seconds of the begining he fell. (thats what you get for making fun of foley!)

Kane: ZZZ
Edge: Come on Kane, Saviors jokes aren't that bad.

Will be made into Loose Cannon's new bumpersticker.

[Mr. Nerfect]

My Guarantee: These will not good.


Ric Flair's new gimmick, St. Ric or "Flairnta Claus" debuted by using his powers to produce his giant candy cane, and used it as a weapon against Benjamin.


While Ric knew deep down he could counter Benjamin's new "Blue Skadoo" finishing move with the super-pheonix-hurricanrana (or the simple classic Flair throw off the top rope), a visit from God told Flair to pass the torch to SB.


Jack Doan: OK, next time I ref, I'm going to use my watch to keep track of the time we have left.


Tajiri moved his hands to the middle ropes in order to lift himself up in a hurry, as Coach had developed the perfect counter for the Tarantua.


Coach practiced the Taratula in the corner, while Tajiri debuted his new "Apeman" gimmick.


Taking a page out of Goku's book, Tajiri summoned the power of Garrison Cadeand everyone in the arena to make a giant Spirit Bomb to use on Coach.


Now is not the time to milk the python, Garrison.


The new Chris Jericho Pin the tail on the Donkey, board was great!
Trish: You've almost got it.


Trish: Hey, I didn't know we had boundaries!


*Giving Trish a taste of her own medicine.*
Chris: Is it in yet?


Eugene: That's the hair style I used to have when I wrestled!


The Human Chain Ladder to the Top of the Arena match wasn't going well.
Lita: Come on, Jack!
Victoria: We'll make it soon!
Jack: No, no. I don't want to.
Lita: C'mon Jack! I don't bite.
Jack: No, no. Don't want to.


Jack: I SAID I DON"T WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Molly: Jack! You killed her!
Gail Kim: ....Oh my gra...good Lord.


Chris Benoit's heel turn was unexpected. He slwly lifted the trash can out of Orton's hands to protect him from Cactus Jack.


Mick: NO! NO! Don't roll it up!
Randy: Idiot bum head! Vince said if we don't roll it up after a match we'll gt fired!


Randy: AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! We've only got three minutes left!


As the fans sat there bored, Mick got an idea.
Mick: Lets' weld it on!


Another DBZ cameo, Mike Chiota gave his powers to Randy making him even more powerful!


Randy tried to use his new powers to tranform into a lizard man! It only half-worked.


Mike Chiota: Looked at the incoming Mick crossing his path, then looked at the $2 on the ground.
Mike: I think I can make this.


Batista was confused. Randy Orton's new powers forced batista's hand away from their usual post-match routine.


Realising that there are a lot of French-Canadian nuns, Eugene wrapped himself in the Quebec flag while he prayed for a better gimmick.


Hurricane was shocked at how effective that was. Not only was an INVISIBLE force LEVITATING the ref's hand, but Eugene started doing the Nature Boy Strut.
Hurricane: I gotta get me a flag.


Kane: I wanna turn!
Edge: No! It's my sock puppet!


Edge went insane. He looked at the hanging noose, then looked at Kane.


Kane's gimmick was ruined again, much to the bordeom of the fans. Using Edge's sock puppet, Kane used the Mandible Claw, taking Mick Foley's gimmick, and tapping his foot while funky music played, taking Grand Master Sexay's gimmick.


Chris Benoit with Video Camera: I just wanna get one shot of you laying down for me!


Backlash did end in a Screwjob. At the last minute Shawn Michaels swapped with Edge.


This was a different kind of Screwjob. Earl blocked Benoit's way to the ropes, pretending not to know as he was preoccupied by the "Rompa-Kastomp".


Earl: Can I screw you over now Chris? Please?


Earl Hebner looked innocent with his hands behind his back. Triple H and Chris Benoit stopped and stared. They knew what was coming next.


Chris Benoit hated the idea the creative team came up with. To make Triple H look good and not tap himself, they had Benoit "Temporarily forget" hot to do the Sharshooter, and accidently levitate Triple H to the top while he remembered how to do it and put it on Shawn Michaels.


This was an extremely strange position for Earl. He amused himself looking at Shawn's tights while Shawn struggled to counter.


As light from Heaven poured onto Benoit's Championship, Earl gulped and lowered his head to see Vince McMahon on stage with pink tutu referee attire pointed at it and then to Earl. What really caught Earl's eyes though were the cool new bossoms Chris had.

[Innovator]

[QUOTE=Rock Bottom]
Edge does his Lesnar NFL try-out impression, while Kane does his Lesnar-on-a-bike impression.



Earl: I SEE THOSE HARTS ON YOUR KNEECAPS! RING THE BELL!
Michaels: WHAT!?
[\QUOTE]
Money

[Kane Knight]

LIVE, from University of WWE:


Hardcore aerobics!



Sexual aids 117!



Remedial same sex marriage planning!



And for the "real men" in the crowd...

How to spot a lesbian 212...



Women in music 133...




Flair cursed shoddy construction of the invisible crucifix.



Ref: Would you like to consider AMWAY?



Another UoWWE failed medical final forces Coachman to walk on his hands.



Tajiri does his best Ultimo dragon impression--Falling flat on his face, then disappearing back to dark matches.




"Oh no, Christian. I'm not gonna fall for that again...I'm not even WEARING a shirt!"





Eugene: Crash! Good to see you back!
Molly: I'm not crash.



I can't even caption this one...nothing could be as bad as what's going through my mind...



Vince McMahon, in an attempt to shaft the fans, combines flop angles "Kative Vick" and "HLA."



"Wow. It really IS lifelike."




Orton: Quit hogging the hardcore cotton candy, Mick!



Mick Foley's ER--In case of bleeding, apply pressure with barbed wire.




Randy Orton botches a Stone Cold Stunner.



After breaking out in a rash, Orton regretted being "Paid, laid, and made."



Batista: Gosh, yew look purdy...Watching you bleed is such a turnon!
Orton: Ric, Help me!
Flair: Come on, kid! Think of it as initiation...WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!




Kane: Wow, man, have you been working out?
Edge: Yeah, totally! Thanks for noticing! You're pretty cut too!
*King hangs himself*
JR (somber voice): This match will haunt me for the rest of my life...



In a sudden role-reversal, someone actually told Triple H to grab his ankles.




HHH: And so I'm pumping away, and Steph is screaming like a banshee...
Benoit: Oh GOD! I give up! You can have the damn title back! Just DON'T finish that sentence!



A repeat main event was so dull that even Benoit yawned...



Failing to win back the Title, Triple H falls back to magnets...

[The Highlander]

At this point, Shelton realized that Charlie had switched his Japanese move scouting tapes with lesbian porn.


Ric was confused. Isn't this the point where someone runs over and throws you off?


The ref liked this rope sliding to, even if it was for a two year old


Tajiri held Coach still while Mick played a tape of Al Snow's greatest matches.


Worst. Hangover. Ever.


After several allergic reactions, Sting decided not to wear his paint anymore


The look on Stings face dropped as he watched the ratings do likewise.


Christian: You're a...
Chris: Yeah yeah, I'm a homo.
Christian: I was gonna say Canadian.


Jericho, ever the gentileman, stopped mid match to save Trish from Steven Richards's come-ons.


Jericho: You know what? A little fart on the hand is well worth this.


Molly revealed her reason for getting her head shaved when she gave Eugene a stunner and beat up Gail.


At this point, Lita and Victoria realized that Charlie Haas switched their lesbian porn with Japanese move scouting tapes


Victoria: WTF are you doing, Lita? This isn't a 69!
Lita: Haas swiched another tape with Wrestling Bloopers


The Jessica Simpson concert caused one fan to pass out. Another was, fortunately, covering her ears.


Fallowing Brock's example, Mick used the oppertunity to practice for the Pittsburgh Pirates.


Mick: Why does Barbie smell like Stephanie's....
Orton: Gross!


While Orton was crying after a viewing of The Lion King, Foley brushed his hair with a new Foley Salon product


Mick Obviosly hadn't seen what happened when Terrance and later Kenny tried this stunt.


In an attempt at comedy, Orton slipped on Marbles ala Home Alone, but still managed to catch Foley in the Diamond Cutter.


Torrie, who was in the front row, couldn't help but say "ooh, Shiney"


A few seconds later, The wrestling world was shocked as Mick nailed a running shooting star press.


Randy Orton, still trying to be the legend killer, made the mistake of challenging Razor Ramon to a drinking contest.


Eugene didn't think the flag looked frence enough, so he stole it and replaced it with a white table cloth.


Hurricane was ready to celebrate, then realized beating a Frenchman was no big deal.


Kane hit Edge so hard he thought it was 1998 and bit Kane's neck.


Edge began to get angry when he realized Kane was actually his old dentist.


Kane, of course, helped Edge out when his tooth began to throb.


At this moment, HHH began to feel bad for RVD, Booker T, Kane, Nash, Steiner, and everyone he's held down.


Benoit: Isn't your name on the pornstar quarrentine list?
HBK: Wrong Sean Michaels!


Benoit: If you say the words "Ring the bell" I swear on my kids I won't let anything happen to you.
Earl: Phew, good....wait a minute....


HHH couldn't help himself. He wanted to lift Benoit, but it was his natural instinct to hold him down...


DONKEY KONG!


Benoit: Torn your quad again?
HHH: No.
Benoit: Now?
HHH: No.
Benoit: Now?
HHH: AHHHHHH!!!
Benoit: Finally!
HHH: No, I just noticed you're missing a tooth.


HBK: Hey! Remember when I had this on Bret, and Vince yeAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


Benoit tried his best to put the belt at the same hight other wrestlers did when it was around their waist.

[loopydate]

It was bad enough that The Rock plugs his movies on WWE TV...did Shelton Benjamin REALLY need to use a prop from his upcoming cameo in "Barbershop 3" as a weapon?



As Flair does the same old boring face-first bump, Shelton prepares to take it to the next level.



REF: Holy shit, Yoshi, are you okay? I TOLD Coach not to try the Alabamaslam!



The obvious answer to the question "Why isn't Rhyno even at the arena?"



Coach knew what was coming and prepared, but Tajiri froze. That...couldn't be Chavo's music...could it?



Tonight on WWE Mid-Card Theatre...THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. That's right, tonight we will be re-enacting the famous "Boromir's death" scene from J.R.R. Tolkien's classic. Playing the role of brave Gondorian soldier Boromir will be Yoshihiro Tajiri. Jonathan Coachman and Garrison Cade will be performing as endangered hobbits Merry and Pippin. And, of course, playing the role of the deadly Lutz...

Steven Richards.

Come on, what did you expect?



COACH: Wiiiiiiiiiiiiii, em-see...Garrison?
CADE: *Sigh* I coulda had Teddy Long...



The new WWE Phone Booths, coming soon to arenas near you!



"Stunning" Steve Austin made a surprise return...with unsurprising results.



Y2J: Hey, look! I found a bitch! Can I keep it?



GAIL: Hey, guys.
EUGENE: Hey! It DOES work! You just rub her head and you get a wish!
MOLLY: What the hell are you talking about?
EUGENE: I always WANTED an Asian whore!



Gimme a...um...sigma?



VICTORIA (thinking): I wouldn't have thought that someone could botch running the ropes so badly.



GAIL: Oh, my God...
MOLLY: Ref, how could you let Lita do a piledriver? How COULD you?



MICK: I'll just hit Randy with an overhe--DAMMIT, HUNTER!



RANDY: My shirt does not lie!
MICK: Okay, okay! You ARE Voldemort!



RANDY: Oh, God! The Olympic Torch. It's...it's...BEAUTIFUL!



The shirt...the lighter...yeah. Mick loooooooooooooved Bon Jovi.



RANDY: Fucking Micro Machines!



Connect the dots. La-la-la-la-la!



REF: Randy? Randy? God, this is just like the pictures a couple of......Mick?
MICK: Gotta go!



Dave Batista's "FCC" gimmick drew immediate heat when he started censoring bellybuttons.



(Backstage)
MAE: So my panties weren't in the lowrider after all!



See what happens when you don't let him do the Vertebreaker very often? He gets rusty.



ELMO: Elmo's choking!
KANE: DIE, FOUL MUPPET!
EDGE: Elmo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



With Booker T on SmackDown, Edge saw his chance. Edgeroonie, here we come!



KANE: You don't do the job...I step on Stevie's dog.



Not to be outdone, Triple H was set to unleash...the H-a-roonie! Um...li'l' help?



SHAWN: That's funny. I don't FEEL the ocean...



Earl Hebner's impression of James Earl Jones' performance in "Annihilation of Fish" was damned impressive. Unfortunately, no one has ever HEARD of "Annihilation of Fish."



EARL: Seriously, Hunter, no one has given up to the Camel Clutch since, like, 1991.
BENOIT: Yeah, what's that aboot?
EARL: CANADIAN!
*Calls for bell*



SHAWN: If I had a hand in the Montreal Screwjob, may I be horribly crushed from above somehow...



KGAKGJALJ:IJGI GIANT SWING!



The new Shawn Michaels bench is NOT ergonomically-designed.



Sure, the arena got swallowed up by a sinkhole, but dammit, Chris was dyin' happy!

[BigDaddyCool]

Nature Documentary Commentator: Now, here we see a rare scene indeed. This maybe the first time ever cameras have caught on tape a wild Chris Beniot giving birth. Truely astonishing, but he must be careful during this laboruos time, because just behind him is the most feared ceature in the jungle, the big-nosed gloryhog.


Eugene, retarded as he maybe, show off his magical reducto powers by shrinking Molly Holly.


Saddly, none of the tacs tore off Randy's stupid tattoos.


Though Beniot retained the one belt, only one man could control it, and Chris knew that all to painfully well.

[Gone Mad]

Extreme BREAKOUT ! / PONG!


Jericho: I love this fued!


Orton: Is it out yet?

Foley: I can almost taste that honey!


Foley : You goin' down, bees!


Edge,as he confronts a drunk Kane. And how many times can one man stand to listen to the Katie Vick promo continuously?


Earl: The spider landed right next to you, Chris!

HBK: ...Even I know this is wrong.


JR: MAH GUWD!!!!sTone ColD !! StONE cOLD!! bLue ChipPer! COoachMaN !! fIGure Four!! sTunnER !!! stUnNER!! ST--

KING:.. Um..it's only a swi-- PUPPIES!!!


Not even the Heavyweight Champion can survive the mighty strength of Earl Hebner.

[Corkscrewed]

Highlander: Not bad for a first timer! Not bad at all!

Loopy: You've got it back!

[PorkSoda]

Shelton was amazed, Ric Flair's legs were so stringy he could play around and move them up and down!



Ric Flair: Hey...I see the light...it is getting brigher...and brighter...I think I see Heaven! Ahh this is good....Heaven is great...I'm getting Salvation! I enjoy this...the light...all on me....I see Jesus! Here he comes, flying at me in the air...ahh, I'll open my arms for Jesus! I never knew Jesus was black.



Worst. Cavity Search. Ever



Tajiri's version of Victoria's moonsault dance did not go over too well, and Garrison Cade was afraid to get in the ring with him.



Christian: Here, let me turn off the shower, Trish! *Turns nob* err! *other nob* Err! OK, lets go watch TV! *Turns TV on with the turney thing* Err! Hey..what are you looking at?



Ref: Uh Oh! I think hes gonna do something COOKY!!!



Cactus: IT'S EIGHT!
Randy: IT'S SEVEN!
Cactus: IT'S EIGHT! HUH-HUH! IT'S EIGHT!
Randy: SEVEN PLUS ONE!
Cactus: IT'S EIGHT!

(That is what Mick is saying during matches...right?)



Ref: Hey Randy, open your eyes and look up, and think about happy things.
Randy: Ahh...I see a rainbow! I see flowers! How many flowers do I see...
Mick: It's Eight!
Randy: Eight! Ahh...eight flowers...what the hell is that?
Mick: BANZAIIII!!!!



Earl: Check it out Chris...IM A SPIDER!
Chris: AHHH!!!

[PorkSoda]

HHH: Hey Chris, I got a doodle in my noodle and his name is Minky Boodle!
Ref: (In Chris' face) Minky Boodle!
HHH: Minky Boodle!
Ref: Mikey Boodle!
HHH: To noodles in my strudle with a name of Minky Boodle!
Ref: MINNNNKAY BOODLE!
HHH: Minkay Booooodle!

[big_bluto]

Here goes.
First real go at captions, so feedback more than welcome!



Shelton practiced getting 'Figure-Four'ed with his Nature Boy Doll


Shelton couldn't stand to see his Nature Boy Doll fall over, and made a desperate bid to save it.
Shelton: 'You don't go down without me, Ric!'


When rolling up Tajiri for the powerbomb, Coach lost control of momentum, resulting in 2 tangled wrestlers, and a confused ref.


Coach's face said it all when Tajiri spotted the 'Vince's Special Place' Tattoo on Coach's ass.


Unfortunately Tajiri's english wasn't that great and he translated Coach's tattoo as 'enter here to reach the secret world of Narnia, where everyone is pushed all the time, Funaki only does presenting, and Hardcore Holly never existed'


While Tajiri broke into a spontaneous Macarena, Shelton could sense his disappointment and decided to leave his 'Nature Boy Doll' lying around where Tajiri could maybe find some solace.


Tajiri was bitterly disappointed.
Not only was there no secret world of Narnia, but Coach's ass wasn't a secret portal, he really needed to wash his hair, and to top it all off, Coach stole his borrowed love-doll.


Christian: Nipple-Gripple!!!!!!!


Trish: NO! NO! NO! NO! I'm not playing!


Trish's attempts to get out of the Nipple-Gripple game resulted in a forfeit.
Jericho: Here comes the Atomic-Wedgie!!!!


Despite Lita and Victoria's best efforts, the debut of Synchronised swimming in a wrestling ring received a lukewarm reaction from the audience.


The poor ref had to untangle another botched move after Lita over-spun the DDT and the women got stuck.


When the ref finally freed Victoria, the other wrestlers decided to surprise her, by dressing up as Trish and Chyna.


Mick: This is how you brush a beard!
Orton: I don't have a beard!


Mick: Put that trashcan down, so I can brush your beard!
Orton: I don't have a beard!


Mick: Just relax. It'll only tug a little.
Orton: I don't have a beard!


Mick: Okay. Beard brushed, now for some leg waxing and then some exfoliation.
Orton: Mick - are you even listening to me?


Mick: And UP we go. You'll love this. It'll make your skin so fresh and lively.


Orton: Mick - there's no such thing as exfoliation tacks!
Mick: Who's Mick?
Orton: You are!
Mick: Noooooo! I'm Cactus Jack, Health & Beauty Consultant.
Orton: WTF?


Kane: I'm the big red monster!
Edge: No! I'm the big red monster!

Kane: I can chokeslam you.
Edge: I can chokeslam you!

Kane: I've got the Red & Black pants.
Edge: I've got the grimace.
Kane: I can look dead.
Edge: I can look angry.
Kane: I've got no hair.
Edge: I've got lots of hair.
Kane: Homo!
Edge: Dammit! I knew I should've went with Rock, Paper, Scissors.


HHH: Alright, Benoit! I've heard all the jokes about me and the Backdoor this week.
Benoit: You mean they're jokes?


HBK: When you do the crossface, I look like Jericho!
Benoit: Quit changing the subject! You were trying to cop a feel!


HBK: I screwed Bret here, you know.
Benoit: I don't care. Stop looking at my crotch!
HBK: I can't help it. It's something about you Canadians.


Benoit: Shawn's looking at my ass isn't he?
Ref: Yep.
HHH: He calls you his special friend, Chris.
Benoit: help me please...
HHH: It'll cost you.
Benoit: I'll give you your title back after your movie deal?
HHH: Done. You distract him, and I'll hit him with my hammer.


Benoit (off-camera): Okay Shawn, on your knees, baby.
HBK: Mmmmmmmmm. Canadianssssss.
HHH: Suckers!


Benoit: Bastard! Try and hit me with your big tool, would you!
HHH: No! That was Shawn!


Benoit: I told you where I was gonna put that hammer!
HBK: AaaaaaahhhhhhhH!!!!!
Ref: Only 3/4 of the way in Chris.



After Benoit's successful title defence, it looked like the posters would read 'HBK got screwed by Hunters Tool' for years to come.

[Blue Demon]

Shelton showed off his new finisher...the atomic gas pedal.

[Corkscrewed]

Wow, the second half was actually pretty good, Bluto!

[Evil Vito]

When fans saw this, they knew one thing for certain: A-Train was gone, and Prince Albert - Body Piercing Artist Extraordinaire, was back.