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Old 08-18-2010, 03:16 AM   #1
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The 10 Worst MMA Fights of All Time?
Was surprised at the return of Seanbaby to writing things I actually end up reading. Kind of impressed at his knowledge of mma considering he's a bit of a pussy in real life.

What are your thoughts on this article?

A small excerpt:
Quote:
Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites UFC 97
UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva is widely regarded as the best striker to ever fight in MMA. He dodges punches like he’s in the Matrix and holding a NES Advantage. In the time it takes you to tell your foot to kick, he’s circled behind you and built a bear trap under it. It’s suicide to attack him. However, there’s one problem with being Anderson Silva: everyone knows that you’re Anderson Silva. Everyone who fights him is scared to death to get close. Let’s try to attack the problem logically.
1. Anderson Silva is waiting for you to punch him.
2. That guy is Anderson Silva.
3. Don’t fucking punch that guy.
Thales Leites is apparently a man of logic, because he came to the same conclusion. I’ve seen more aggression from lesbian couples reciting their wedding vows.
Thales’ gameplan seemed to be waiting for a stage light to fall on Silva. He’d occasionally go for takedowns with all the enthusiasm of a tobacco-funded anti-smoking commercial. You’d swear he was trying to fail. Anderson was so bored that he started punching Thales in the legs and even danced his way into a behind-the-back shin kick. He was literally inventing new martial arts to keep from falling asleep. I don’t speak Portuguese, but I think he was calling to his corner for a magazine at one point.
Leites only wanted to fight on the ground, and that was smart, but he couldn’t take Silva down and he refused to try to knock him down. That left only one option– throwing his own body to the mat. He used any excuse. The breeze from a jab: flop. A sudden change in direction: flop! None of it managed to trick Silva. Every time Leites flopped, the champ just turned his back and walked away. It was the classic matchup between Tripping and Leaving. Looking back, I don’t think Leites was even trying to take the title that night. He was probably just waiting for his nail polish to dry and needed to find something to do for 25 minutes that didn’t involve his hands.
Click here to enjoy this terrible fight.

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Also have some popcorn.
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Old 08-18-2010, 04:50 AM   #2
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seanbaby is good stuff. These fights were not.
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Old 08-18-2010, 06:12 AM   #3
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No offense, but that's pretty old. Still an entertaining read though.
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Old 08-18-2010, 06:15 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Impact! View Post
No offense, but that's pretty old. Still an entertaining read though.
It is old but, I hadn't noticed anyone mentioning it so I thought it was okay to post. May's not too bad though.
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Old 08-18-2010, 07:29 PM   #5
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Also, it missed out on one of the worst fights of all time: Kalib Starnes vs. Nate Quarry.

It fucking ended with Quarry doing both the running man and the Screech attack and Kalib running away from it. (like he did the whole fucking fight.) The most either antic got was a finger from Starnes.

And, to be fair, Round 5 of Maia vs. Silva was pretty wild and Maia just went for broke. Unfortunately, he has no punching power.

Side note for Ali-Inoki: The referee could have kicked BOTH their asses. At the same time. And I'm not saying that as an insult to Inoki or Ali. I'm saying that because the referee is Gene Fucking LeBell.
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Old 08-18-2010, 11:41 PM   #6
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Severn/Kimo in early pride.
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Old 08-19-2010, 12:01 AM   #7
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Bam Bam's MMA fight was pretty bad too...
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Old 08-19-2010, 12:03 AM   #8
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Old 08-19-2010, 05:05 AM   #9
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Also, the congenital amputee's fight was horrid as well. It's already on the boards, but it's 3 rounds of his opponent jabbing him in the head and dodging as what looks like a pig in shorts runs after him.
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Old 09-02-2010, 01:53 PM   #10
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I saw a fight between John Matua vs Steve Treadwell from King of the Cage. It was horrible Matua just kinda pushed him into the cage and they were both out of breath 2 mins into the fight. They called Matua a "Veteran of the UFC", he had 1 match and was puched into convulsions in less than a minute
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