Who's the bigger loser: Jeff or Matt Hardy?

[The Naitch]

If I were to be reincarnated, and I had no choice but to pick to be born either Jeff or Matt Hardy, I'd be Jeff.

1) Atleast I get to become World Heavyweight Champion and WWE Champion one day

2) I won't be mentally scarred whenever I look at Edge and CM Punk on TV, knowing that these two men have banged the "love of my life", thus making me less of a man

3) I won't be given the ECW Championship as a thank you or sympathy run

4) I'd be so high all the time anyways, it would numb me of the pain of having a brother like the one I have

5) I won't be wasting my money at the Waffle House

6) I wouldn't have to look back a realize I wrote things like this in a book for the whole world to see:

It was one of those things that lets you know that you were meant for someone. I refer to it now as my moment of clarity; I was destined to be there with her. It was a wonderful feeling; it really confirmed for me how special our relationship is. So we hung out in her hotel room and ate ice cream all night. It was perfect