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Old 01-17-2011, 04:09 PM   #1
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The Thread in Which I Review Games...
that you have probably already played.

Because, you know, I just got them.

1. Portal 5/5 Magnum Condoms. Gameplay that is completely out of the box, moments of genuine tension and puzzles that I actually feel compelled (and subsequently satisfied) to complete. Oh shit, that computer chick is so fucking funny too. Also enjoyed "Still Alive".

My son and daughter actually sat down and watched me play this thing through. Took three separate sittings to do so.

Most common phrase: "Shoot the robot, daddy!" -Graham

It's time to make TPWW MEAT again!

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Unlike traditional grills which cook food from a single, direct heat source, the Pit Barrel® Cooker’s cylindrical shape and “Hook-and-Hang” method places the food in the center of the action, heating the meat from all sides at once, producing consistently great-tasting, perfectly cooked meat every time.

Also have some popcorn.
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Old 01-17-2011, 05:33 PM   #2
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I'd like to hear your thoughts on Pong?
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Old 01-17-2011, 05:34 PM   #3
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Oh yeah daddy! Shoot the robot! Shoot it! Shoot it! uhhhhhhhhhyeaaahhhhhh
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:18 PM   #4
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"Did you shoot the robot" has got to be the new "did you tax it"
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Old 01-19-2011, 09:49 AM   #5
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I'd like to hear your thoughts on Pong?
Not a fan of this at all. It's basically a low-graphics version of Wii's table tennis. Also the controls aren't great and it is slow as fuck.
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:03 PM   #6
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Secret of Mana
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Old 01-20-2011, 11:56 AM   #7
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Secret of Mana
I never played that, though I remember playing Legends of Legaia in 2000. Really liked it.

Next review is Gears of War.
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Old 01-24-2011, 12:07 PM   #8
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2. Gears of War 1 and 2: 4 and 4.5 Magnum Condoms respectively.

Okay, played both of these with the wife so I'm focusing completely on the co-op gameplay. Let's focus on what differences between the two games that I can remember. Seems like the second game allows me to run without accidentally getting stopped by pillars so that's a happy improvement. Also the graphics seems a lot more detailed and the game seems a little easier. Boomers died a lot harder for us in the first game and a few well-aimed shots work wonders in the sequel.

Really like the story, seems like they're ripping off Star Wars slightly. First game ended, what felt to us, pretty abruptly. We were expecting a little more game after that boss battle but whatever. Definitely got the "death star" feel afterward. What the fuck is up with the past-tense narration? "This is where the humans totally screw themselves" does not motivate me to finish the game dammit.

Second game has a much more satisfying ending and me and my wife are totally calling the fact that sinking humanity's last fortified city was a bad idea. Also think that duder's dad is banging the Queen locust. Deal with it, bro.

Chainsaw guns seem like a pretty bad idea....are they gas powered???
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Old 01-24-2011, 01:37 PM   #9
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They are powered by the magic of love.
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Old 01-25-2011, 10:23 AM   #10
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They are powered by the magic of love.
That makes sense.

Up next, Half Life 2, Episode 1 and 2.
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Old 02-16-2013, 12:20 PM   #11
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X-com for the 360. 5 out of 5 magnum condoms.

Game is a lot like crack. I still crave it and still go back and play it fairly often. After I beat it I was somewhat disappointed that I could continue playing from that point, but I have been playing off my save before the last mission and trying to get as many squaddies to colonel as possible. It's seemingly designed to my mild OCD personality and I love it.
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Old 02-16-2013, 12:49 PM   #12
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Quote:
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I'd like to hear your thoughts on Pong?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathtotheSwiss View Post
Not a fan of this at all. It's basically a low-graphics version of Wii's table tennis. Also the controls aren't great and it is slow as fuck.
Now that that’s out of the way, please discuss the 1952 classic, OXO...
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Old 02-16-2013, 01:24 PM   #13
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I'm looking forward to the movie. Big fan.
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