Next Generation Stampede Wrestling?

[Lock Jaw]

Just read this from the front page, totally befuddled.

Teddy Hart was a recent guest on The LAW with John Pollock and Wai Ting discussing his plans for the Next Generation Stampede Wrestling promotion, which he is starting up along with Harry Smith and Jack Evans. How Next Generation Stampede Wrestling is different: We have trampolines and we have skateboarders, we have all sorts of things that we want to do. I really like the X-Games, and I’m trying to get guys that are in the X-Games to transfer over into this new sport of wrestling that I’m creating. Certain things to look for in the future – you might end up getting a key instead of winning a fall, because all the falls are 2 out of 3 falls, we’ll be wrestling a Mexican Lucha Libre style on that. Instead of winning a belt or something, you might win a key which will unlock a certain weapon that you can use, which may be like a skateboard, or a trampoline, or a special pair of boots that have magnets on the bottom so you can do some things that have never been possible before. Also, the turnbuckles are robotic for the new ring that we’re designing. This may be six months away, but guys can adjust the height while they’re up there. Ideas he would like to see in the promotion: I’d like to see mechanically altered weapons and things like that. Chairs that change sizes, ladders that get longer, so you can be on a ladder and press a button and it gives you another three feet or five feet if you want to go higher. Higher is ratings. If you can have the fans all typing into their phone, and you want to see Ted Hart go an extra five feet in their air, everyone’s got 30 seconds to type a code into their phone. If the code is in, and I get my combination from the referee, I climb up another five feet. Working with pets to incorporate into wrestling: I’m training cats to come out to the ring with me, and I’m also trying to train animals to get involved in matches. I’m trying to get safety animals, like a dog, to basically pull the referee’s leg before the count of three, little things like that. Or my dog will be carrying a weapon for me, and I would get it off his neck. Potentially if I had a female manager, and she has a cat, and the cat is maybe a good way of getting couple kids out of the audience, and I lure the kids out of the audience and the kids cause a disqualification to happen so I don’t have to lose the belt, or something like that.

Surely, he can't be serious.