Part of WM28 results by our very own Triple A

[VSG]

THESE RESULTS ARE BY TRIPLE A:

Hell in a Cell: Triple H vs. The Undertaker

Jim Ross comes out to announce this match with Lawler.
Shawn Michaels comes out first in a referee outfit.
Triple H comes out second.
The Undertaker comes out last.
Entrances took like 9 mins I think.
Undertaker staring down Triple H.
“The Memory Remains” by Metallica plays and the cell starts to lower as they stare each other down in the middle of the ring.
I’m gonna be honest with you guys, I took a nap and woke up at like 7:44 PM by accident and then blamed it on the server.
They are fighting outside and stuff. Undertaker threw Triple H into the steps.
Undertaker does that thing where he walks on the top rope and “nails” Triple H.
They go outside again and Undertaker hits Triple H with the “steel steps,” then throws them into the ring.
I feel worried that the server will f*ck up. Gotta upgrade I guess.
Undertaker “dominating” the match so far. Like 10 mins in.
Triple H finally fights back and tries to hit the Pedigree on top of the steps, but Undertaker flips him over and regains control of the match.
Undertaker tries the “Hell’s Gate” choke on HHH but he counters it and slams Undertaker down. Then he goes and gets a steel chair and hits Taker. Everything I am typing seems rlly boring
Triple H hits Undertaker like 982 times with the chair while he’s lying in the ring. Referee Shawn Michaels tries to kinda stop him. Then tries to check on Undertaker but Triple H grabs Michaels and throws him down. He asks Shawn Michaels to stop the match but Undertaker says “do not stop it.” Triple H shouts “stay down.” Undertaker gets up and HHH hits him with the chair some more. Then goes for the pin, Taker kicks out.
More chair shots by HHH. HHH says “End it Shawn or I will.”
Triple H grabs a sledgehammer from under the ring. Shawn Michaels tries to “reason with him.” HHH tells him to end it. Michaels “pleads” with Undertaker to let him stop the match but Undertaker refuses. Triple H nails Undertaker with the sledgehammer, but Undertaker kicks out.
Triple H tries to hit Undertaker again with the sledgehammer but Shawn Michaels grabs it away from him. HHH screams again for Shawn to end it. Michaels checks on Taker, then goes to “ring the bell” to stop the match but stops himself. HHH shouts “do it!” Michaels checks on Taker again and Undertaker puts the Hells Gate on Shawn Michaels. HHH hits Undertaker with the sledgehammer again. Shawn Michaels is down.
HHH tries to hit Taker with the sledgehammer again but Undertaker kicks him and locks on the Hells Gate. Triple H is pretty much “out” but Shawn Michaels is down.
Referee Charles Robinson runs down but the cell is locked. He unlocks the cage and gets in the ring. Undertaker CHOKESLAMS HHH. 1-2-kick out.
Undertaker grabs referee Charles Robinson and chokeslams him. He’s out.
Undertaker tries the Tombstone but Triple H gets out and Shawn Michaels hits a SWEET CHIN MUSIC on Undertaker. Triple H hits the PEDIGREE on Undertaker. 1-2-kick out.
Jim Ross says “slobberknocker”
Triple H shoves Shawn Michaels out of the ring.
Undertaker suddenly gets up with full energy and starts to go to work on HHH. Hits a big boot. And a leg drop. Hits the TOMBSTONE. Michaels comes back into the ring for the count but HHH kicks out. Taker and HHH lying in the middle of the ring. Michaels sits down in the corner looking “distraught.”
They “trade blows” in the middle of the ring. Crowd seems into it, cheering each punch. Taker tries to hit a Tombstone but HHH counters and hits another PEDIGREE but Undertaker kicks out again. The Cell hasn’t really come into play yet.
Undertaker gets up first and grabs a chair and hits HHH with it a few times. Shawn Michaels tries to get Taker to kinda stop, but he doesn’t. Goes for a pin but HHH kicks out.
HHH weakly grabs the sledgehammer but Undertaker yells at him to stay down. Taker grabs the sledgehammer away. Triple H does the DX “suck it” thing and Undertaker hits him with the sledgehammer. He stands in the ring as Triple H tries to get up. Undertaker hits the TOMBSTONE. Pins his arms down. 1-2-3.

Winner: The Undertaker via Tombstone

20-0
Jim Ross says “The era has ended. We’ll never see it again. And what a way to go.” Talking about Shawn Michaels. He says “But will we ever see The Undertaker compete again? Will we see Triple H compete again?”
Shawn Michaels and Undertaker embrace/hug in the ring. Shawn Michaels raises Taker’s hand. Crowd cheers. Triple H down in the middle of the ring. Michaels checks up on him.
After Undertaker’s music stops, he and Shawn Michaels help up Triple H as a “sign of respect” and they help him walk out of the ring. They all hug and walk backstage. Entranceway screen says “20-0″


Flo-Rida and Heath Slater Backstage Segment

Backstage, “Flo-Rida” is about to be interviewed, but Heath Slater comes and calls him “Florida” and says he should be interviewed instead. Flo-Rida comes out and Slater says they should do a duet. Flo-rida says no. Slater says what about being a DJ? No. Backup singer? No. He says something else. I don’t know, I couldn’t hear him. Slater “gets all up in his face.” Flo-Rida shoves him. His “crew” comes out to break it up. Terrible.


Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Team Johnny comes out first. David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre.
Team Teddy next. Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, and Booker T.
Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler start off. Kofi does some “cross body lateral press.” Kick out. Tags in to R-Truth.
Ziggler drop kick on R-Truth, tags in McIntyre. Great Khali tagged in. Don’t feel like doing this anymore.
Booker T tagged in. I don’t know. Kicks McIntyre. Other stuff happens.
Booker T punches every member of the other team. Jack Swagger comes in though and kicks Booker T and stuff. Feeling depressed
Other team “beating up on” Booker T for a while.
Some other shit happens
Huge mess
Hornswoggle comes in and is thrown to the outside but caught by Mark Henry and he throws him down. Honestly don’t know what is happening right now
Every1 is fighting outside. “The women” start fighting each other.
Booker T tags in Santino and he comes in all energized against Miz. Headbutt off top rope. He takes out “the cobra” and punches The Miz. Ziggler saves the pin.
Zack Ryder comes in “on fire” and takes out everyone. Fist pumps.
Miz comes in though and hits the Skull Crushing Finale while Ryder’s fist pumping, and pins him.

Winners: Team Johnny

Team Johnny celebrates.
Zack Ryder looks mad. He says something to Eve. Eve kicks him in the nut sac and walks out and Ryder is down.


A-Rod/Torrie Wilson, Axxess Highlights, CM Punk/Laurinaitis Segment

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are in the crowd.
They air a video montage of a bunch of highlights from Axxess.
Team Johnny walks by CM Punk backstage, celebrating.
John Laurinaitis says something but the audio is all low. He says he doesn’t want a brawl, he wants a wrestling match. “If you lose your temper, you get DQ’d, you will also lose your WWE Championship to Chris Jericho. Have a good match.” CM Punk looks mad, etc.


WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

John Laurinaitis added the stipulation that the title can change hands on a disqualification.
Chris Jericho enters first, followed by CM Punk.
Andy Garcia is shown in the crowd. “The stars are out tonight.”
They wrestle with each other to start the match under Punk gains control and punches and kicks Jericho and whatnot. Stomps on Jericho in the corner. The ref threatens to DQ him. Jericho slaps Punk but Punk starts punching Jericho in the corner. Ref threatens DQ again. Cole says “he’s gotta disqualify him here!”
Jericho says “How’s your sister?” to Punk. Punk grabs a chair and goes to hit Jericho. Jericho screams at Punk to hit him and says “your father’s a drunk!” and stuff like that, trying to get him to get DQ’d. Punk throws the chair down. Jericho kicks him and regains control of the match.
Jericho stands on the apron, Punk in the ring. Jericho hits a suplex on Punk from the apron to the outside. Weak “holy shit” chant from the crowd. Jericho goes for pin, kickout. Jericho with a backbreaker, followed by sleeperhold. Working on Punk’s back. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, kickout.
Punk finally starts to fight back after about 5-10 mins of Jericho working on his back. High knee by Punk in the corner. Goes for bulldog but Jericho pushes him off and goes for the LIONSAULT but Punk blocks it, but Jericho tries on the WALLS OF JERICHO but Punk kicks him off and kicks Jericho in the head. 1-2-no.
Punk to the top rope. Takes like 20 seconds. Elbow drop but Jericho put his knees up and blocks it. Jericho tries to do something but Punk suddenly hits the GO TO SLEEP. Pin, but Jericho puts his foot on the rope.
Scoop slam by Punk, 2 count. They counter each other’s grapples about 5 times, but suddenly Jericho knocks Punk down and hits the LIONSAULT. Kick out.
Jericho to the middle rope but Punk punches him. Chops by Punk. Punk goes to the top, tries a hurricanrana but Jericho grabs his legs… WALLS OF JERICHO. In the middle of the ring. Punk fighting. Tries to go for the ropes… grabs the ropes, breaks the hold. Jericho thinks he’s won, but ref says he didn’t tap. Jericho runs at Punk but Punk flips him over to the outside of the ring. Punk launches himself through the middle rope into Jericho on the outside. Punk hits a flying knee and rolls Jericho back in.
Punk jumps off the top rope but Jericho hits a CODEBREAKER. Kick out.
Punk tries to counter some moves but Jericho keeps control. Jericho goes to the top but Punk kicks him. Punk grabs Jericho, shouts “best in the world” and goes for the GO TO SLEEP, but Jericho counters it and locks on the Walls of Jericho again. In the middle of the ring, far away from the ropes. Punk tries to crawl to the ropes. Almost there but Jericho drags him back to the middle. Punk fights back some more and gets out of it and ROLLS Jericho up but he kicks out. They reverse roll ups but no. Punk locks on an Anaconda Vice submission but Jericho fights back again. Jericho tries to go for another Walls of Jericho but Punk locks on the Anaconda Vice and Jericho TAPS OUT.

Winner: CM Punk


Brodus Clay Segment

Brodus Clay comes out with 2 broads. He asks everyone to get out their phones cause “we are gonna call our mommas.”
He calls his mom and says he is at WrestleMania, then he introduces his mom, “Momma Clay.” His mom comes out, and she is some old black woman with a “huge ass” and she starts to do some sort of zany dance.
A bunch of old black women in dresses, dressed the same way as his mom, come out and start dancing in the background. His mom’s “bridge club.” Like 20 of them. idk
feeling terrible
What is this
Jerry Lawler “loving it”

Machine Gun Kelly Performance

Went to take a leak.
When I came back, I think “Diddy” was in the entranceway, introducing “MGK.”
MGK comes out. Starts to rap. Has a “hype man” who shouts over all his lines. Some white chick singer who sounds like Rihanna I think.
Crowd booing, lol


John Cena vs. The Rock

John Cena comes out first.
Oh my god, another musical performance.
“Flo Rida” comes out.
Has no shirt on and sunglasses.
Grinding my teeth
The Rock finally comes out. Feels like it took 25 mins.
They stare each other down in the middle of the ring. The Rock looks around and “takes in” the crowd. Crowd seems into this match. Bell rings and crowd “pops.”
They lock up to start, Cena overpowers Rock and throws him down. Crowd chanting “Let’s go Cena” and then “Cena sucks.” They lock up again and The Rock pushes Cena down this time.
Rock gains control and they exchange a few more moves. Rock looking and moving pretty well. Cena hits a hip toss and he gains control.
Cena with control of the match. Fighting on the outside. Cena bounces Rock’s face off the announce table. Back in the ring, Cena keeps control. Belly to belly, kick out by Rock. Bear hug by Cena, “attacking the injured midsection” of The Rock.
Rock finally fights back with a few punches and a kick and a DDT. They start exchanging punches. Rock hits a spear off the ropes. Spinebuster by The Rock. Cena down. Rock sets up for THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW but Cena grabs him and tries to lock on the STF, but Rock blocks it. They exchange holds quickly and Cena slams down Rock. Cena taunts him then hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. “The most impactful [5 Knuckle Shuffle] of all time” says Michael Cole. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Rock blocks it and they hit a double clothesline on each other, and they’re both down.
They both get up and Rock hits a few quick punches on Cena but Cena suddenly hits the Attitude Adjustment, out of nowhere. 1-2-no.
Cena tries to pick up The Rock but Rock suddenly hits a ROCK BOTTOM out of nowhere. Cena kicks out.
Rock punches Cena, but Cena suddenly hits a side slam on Rock. Cena goes to the top rope. Stands up there for a few seconds as Rock struggles to get up. Finally hits a big leg drop to the back of Rock’s head off the top rope, but Rock kicks out.
Rock suddenly hits a spear on Cena off the ropes and locks on the Sharpshooter, but Cena eventually grabs the rope to break it. Rock punches Cena angrily. Tries to put on another Sharpshooter… and does. Rlly bad sharpshooter. Cena grabs the rope again.
Cena rolls to the outside, Rock follows him and throws him into the stairs. Back in the ring, Cena suddenly hits Rock in the stomach and locks on the STF out of nowhere. Rock crawls for the rope, but Cena pulls him back and locks it on again. Rock starts to “fade.” Crawls some more, weakly. Locked on for about a minute. Rock’s eyes closing. Ref picks up Rock’s arm. Down once. Down twice. Will it go down a third time?!?!?! No it does not. Rock grabs the bottom rope, breaking the hold.
Samoan Drop by Rock, both guys down. Ref counts to 8 and they both get up. They exchange punches. Rock goes for Rock Bottom, Cena counters, goes for Attitude Adjustment, Rock counters. Spinebuster by Rock… Sets up for THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW. Throws his elbow pad into the crowd. Hits the elbow. 1-2-no.
Cena with a sudden ROLL UP but Rock kicks out. Cena knocks Rock into the turnbuckle and rolls him up again but Rock kicks out. Cena goes for a middle rope suplex, but Rock punches Cena and pushes him off. Rock goes to the top rope. Cross body block, Cena rolls through and picks Rock up, puts him on his back, and hits the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT. Kick out.
Rock is down. Cena takes off his elbow pad and goes for The People’s Elbow, mocking The Rock. Runs to the rope but Rock stands up and hits the ROCK BOTTOM. 1-2-3.

Winner: The Rock