Smackdown Spoilers for 3-8-2013

[Emperor Smeat]

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter cut a promo trying to convince everyone that they thought just like they did. He said we’re the problem too if we don’t agree. Alberto Del Rio interrupted and threw to a clip of Ricardo and Alberto mocking Colter’s YouTube video and talking about Mexican food. Pretty funny stuff. Team Hell No beat Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre (w/Jinder Mahal). Bryan made Slater tap to the No! Lock. Matt Striker interviewed Dolph Ziggler backstage. Ziggler said he was going to make history tonight. Then he made out with AJ while Big E stood by. Backstage, Ryback was walking down a corridor and had a face to face with Mark Henry, but they said nothing. Damien Sandow won’t get an entrance but he cut a promo on how Darwin’s Theory of Evolution forgot his opponent. Ryback beat Damien Sandow after Shellshock. Sandow got a decent amount of offense, but typical Ryback match. Ricardo Rodriguez came to the stage and told everyone in the crowd to deliver the “Albertoooo” a long as they could when Del Rio came out. Backstage, Matt Striker asked Big Show about what happened after Raw. Show said he’ll take out anyone, but he blames Sheamus and Orton for what happened. He put up his fist and said that’s his answer for all of them. A Fandango vignette aired hyping his debut tonight. Alberto Del Rio beat Dolph Ziggler with the Cross Armbreaker. Good back and forth match with lots of near falls. Ricardo dumped a bucket of water on AJ, but Langston and AJ got sent to the back for it. Backstage, Daniel Bryan told AJ she looked like a wet puppy. She said that she’s with the next world champion now. She said Bryan’s reign ended in 18 seconds. Bryan said that being with Ziggler, she should be used to 18 seconds. I just noticed that Brad Maddox is still on commentary. It’s a three-man booth with Maddox, Michael Cole, and Josh Matthews this week. Mark Henry beat Yoshi Tatsu. Henry won the squash with the World’s Strongest Slam. Backstage, Striker told Sheamus that Big Show blamed him (and Orton) for his attack at the hands of The Shield. Sheamus said it’ll be his fault when he kicks Show’s head off his shoulders tonight. Tamina Snuka beat Kaitlyn (w/Layla) in a non-title match. Tamina got the win after a Samoan drop. Backstage, the Rhodes Scholars were watching the monitor. Cody Rhodes asked what Damien Sandow thought of Kaitlyn as a woman. Sandow replied that she’s done her best despite being a result of an inferior gene pool. Hilarious delivery. The ring crew changed the mat after the Divas match. Insert joke here. Fandango was set to debut against Justin Gabriel, but he refused to compete because Lilian didn’t announce him properly. This schtick will get old quickly. Backstage, Teddy Long tried to teach Booker T how to say Fandango. Funny. Sheamus and Big Show fought to an apparent no-contest when The Shield interfered. Randy Orton made the save, but The Shield got the upper hand. The babyfaces cleared the ring of the heels, but Show KO’d Sheamus and Orton hit the RKO on Big Show.