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Old 05-17-2004, 03:22 PM   #1
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WWE Judgement Day Captions (5/17/04)


































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Old 05-17-2004, 03:24 PM   #2
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Sean? What are you still doing up there?
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:17 PM   #3
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"I held my gun out like this went BAM!"
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:18 PM   #4
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JBL and Eddie fall down on the canvas, exhausted after their masterful Jackson Pollack-style painting.
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:20 PM   #5
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Van Helsing found himself terrified...



...Of the debut of Gandalf the White!
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:37 PM   #6
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Mordecai attempts to use the force to lift Scotty.
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:44 PM   #7
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Mordecai was caught red handed in his attempt to steal a prop from the Judgement day backdrop.
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Old 05-17-2004, 04:47 PM   #8
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Man, oh man, oh man, what a shitty PPV. Anyways, time for it to get the proper treatment.



Rey's "Guess Who?" may not have been as intense or violent as Benoit's, but it was certainly more interesting.



Unable to wake Bubba up from his mid-match nap, Mysterio decides to finish the match by himself and 'rana the turnbuckle for the pinfall.



The sign in the background gave away an entire month's worth of booking. Evidently, someone decided that everyone's favorite late-night talk show host needed to return to the squared circle.



Unable to wreslte full-time anymore, Kurt wows the audiences through other means, like shoving the microphone completely up his nose.



See? Even Torrie's confused as to why the hell WWE thought anyone would want to see this match again.



Dawn Marie lower "her" trousers and reveals to the world a horrible, horrible secret.



Much like a python or anaconda, Torrie Wilson prepares to unhinge her jaw and swallow Charles Robinson whole.



YOU.....SHALL NOT.....PASSSS!!!!!



Mordecai sure is an intimidating sight. A huge, powerful, zealous fanatic, who can hold his breath like nobody's business. Hear him. Fear him. Just don't poke his cheeks while he's doing that.



Just as he was about to deliver the finishing blow to Scotty, Mordecai suddenly realized he'd left the iron on back at home.



Rico's way of selling a Perfect-Plex was unorthodox, to say the least.



Ref: Put 'er there, pal!
Haas: I can't really do that right now. I'm in the middle of--
Ref: I said put 'er there, pal, and when I say put 'er there, you damn well better PUT 'ER FUCKING THERE!!!!
Haas: Allright, allright!
*puts 'er there*



Charlie was the only one to see the Wile E. Coyote's anvil falling towards them, but by then it was already too late.



Chavo carried out his instructions and held Jackie in place, long enough for the perverted mechanical claw operator to cop a feel.



Chavo Jr. was a little pissed that his father was being pushed as Cruiserweight Champion instead of him, but he clelbrated with the old man nonetheless.



Just as Cena looked as if he had the match won, his right hand suddenly turned on him and obscured his vision. How ironic it was that now Cena couldn't see Dupree.



Even the Smackdown roster and referees couldn't think of a good reason Orton got pushed over Jericho.



As if his hand turning on him wasn't bad enough, the U.S. Champion's hemorrhoids kicked in at the most inappropriate times.



As if the undead zombie cowboy wasn't scary enough, Paul Bearer capitalized on the full moon and brought with him Steven Richards, the Invisible Wolf-Man.



Booker's newly accquired voodoo powers spoke the truth: Mark Calloway was, according to the spirit world, a homo.



Taker was glad that Booker T was nice enough to hold his hand while he went to the ropes. He was deathly afraid of heights.



After hitting the most awkward DDT ever, Booker kicks back for second and gives a "Whaazzzzzuuuuup" to his homies back home (blissfully unaware that the catch-phrase was no longer cool)



Booker: Come on, man, it's just a vertical suplex!
Taker: I don't wanna! I'm scared!
Booker: Man, everyone does these! It's easy, I promise!
Taker: NOOOOO! Scary!



Taker knew he needed to stop drinking once Booker started turning into a big pink elephant.



I will not make a gay joke.....I will not make a gay joke......come on NM, stay strong!



The Phenom brings back the first PPV-quality Karaoke in a long time.

"At first I was afraid...I was petrified.....to think that I could ever live without you by my side....."



Okay, seriously, this is the third picture tonight with a guy in a headlock. I know for a fact that these guys were probably doing a lot more interesting moves aside from headlocks, so what's the freakin' deal?



JBL: "Wait a minute....this isn't the opening match on Velocity....what the hell's going on here?!"



Bradshaw and Eddie entertain the fans by re-enacting every Steven Seagal movie ever.



Bradshaw was shocked once Eddie told him what the last "W" and "E" in "WWE" stood for.

"So what the hell am I doing here? I can't do either of those!"



Bradshaw desparately locked in a sleeper hold, trying to mask the fact that this match was so boring, even the people involved in it couldn't stay awake.



Eddie was livid when he saw that JBL had spilt all the Kool-Aid.



"You *punch* sloppy *punch* son *punch* of *punch* a bitch! Who the hell let you in the main events when you can't even handle the refreshments table?!"



"Dude, calm down! It's just Kool-Aid, man! I'll clean it up!"



"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!"
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:11 PM   #9
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When giving blood goes wrong

(in arguement)
Hardcore: oh yeah well I got a title shot at the royal rumble
Haas: Well I don't suck.
Hardcore:....damn
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:15 PM   #10
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Mordecai reveals The crusified talent of HHH.
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:24 PM   #11
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Christ, this is Austin-Bret blood porportions here.
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:35 PM   #12
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Bradshaw had enough when Stephanie menstrated on his face. (ewww)


Taker: No I'm not cover in coke...its umm, flour, thats right all purpose floor, I was making bread. That is my new gimmick, yeah..I'm a zombie baker. Yeah, that's the ticket.
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:40 PM   #13
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Bradshaw relised the fans are right when he saw his last match on smackdown
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Old 05-17-2004, 05:47 PM   #14
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Angle: You are so beautiful....To me....



Cock-Jaw



John's hiding place in wasn't really that good when he played a game of 'hide and seek on your back' with Durpree.



Durpree wasn't even trying....



Bearer: *thinking* Homo....



Booker T reinacts one of his previous jobs....
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Old 05-17-2004, 06:02 PM   #15
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"I like the pain.....I like the misery...I LIKE THIS WORLD!"
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Old 05-17-2004, 06:09 PM   #16
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Bubba shows us he CAN do two things at once.



...and the holocaust was complete.

(Rep to anyone who catches the reference.)



RVD: I /TOLD/ you we'd win!
Rey: But I knew we were going to win..
RVD: So I told you something you alrea..
Rey: Dude! Don't EVEN joke like that!



Kurt: Ammfff Ermm Mimmm mfff mmffmmm.

Cole: What did he say?
Tazz: Something like "muff muff, muff, muff muff muff".
Cole: Smart ass...



Shannon Moore was really not liking his new push.



Well if this wasn't an interesting discovery....



Charles Robison proved he had more in common with Tony Danza than Torrie would have liked to known.



Gandalf's powers were always strongest when he was holding a cross during the full moon.



Mordecai: What the hell...is that a cage up there?



Mordecai (in thought): So I've been called Undertaker by Booker T, Funaki and Paul London called me Kevin Nash, and Tazz and Heyman called me Jeff Jarret. And they give me Scott Hall's finisher?! Aw fuck..



WWE Judgement is coming to you LIVE from Massachusetts!



Holly: SUCK ME NIPPLE!
Haas: Nooooo....
Holly: DO IT AND PAY YOUR DUES!
Haas: But I...
Ref: No, I don't think you quite understand. Suck his nipple or he'll be forced to go "Tough Enough" on you.



Haas: "Don't look above this sign into the light." What light? That one right ther- OH GOD!



Chavo: I am Mordecai, I am Mordecai..



Sr.: Hey, son, is it SUPPOSED to say 'Hunter was here' on the back?



Everytime Cena went to spit on his opponent, his idle hand always blocked it.

or

Cena: Can't see you.



The Invisible Cross made no prejudice where or when it stuck.



Cena: WING CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA!



...'Cause that's, where the Ranger's, gonna be...



Is Booker holding some womans stockings?!



'Taker took offense to Booker's "Black Power" joke.



Worst. Russian Legsweep. Ever.



'Taker figured he could do a Spear better than Goldberg anyday of the week. He also figured wrong.



'Taker: Why the hell did you throw flour at me?



Here's another good example of Racism, the White Man holding the Black Talent Man down.



'Taker: Shit yea, a quarter...



After realizing JBL's tits had no milk, the phrase "Milk Dud" gained a new meaning.



JBL was having that dream again. He was in a World title match, when all of the sudden, his pants disappears.



JBL: Almost...got it...out...
Eddie: STOOOOP ESSE, piercings aren't supposed to come out like that!



You know what's coming next, and unfortunately for Bradshaw, so did he.



JBL: I'm taking my Eddie and going home.



This was a teaser picture from the new WWE motion picture "The Saint Judgement Day Massacre".



It was going so well, until Eddie got home to see his ref cheating with Bradshaw.



JBL: Oh God, put that away!



Suddenly, the meaning of life had hit Eddie like a brick, and he missed out on fulfilling it:

Eddie: I COULD HAVE SAVED 15% OR MORE ON MY CAR INSURANCE!!!
Last edited by Fryza; 05-17-2004 at 06:50 PM.
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Old 05-17-2004, 06:12 PM   #17
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Hahaha! Taker looks like Satan in the pic where he's pinning booker.
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Old 05-17-2004, 06:45 PM   #18
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Damn, Fryza and NM were absolutely blistering! It'll be hard following those up.
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Old 05-17-2004, 06:48 PM   #19
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EDIT: I clicked the wrong button trying to edit an error and a screw up in my captions. Please ignore this post. Thank you.
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Old 05-17-2004, 06:55 PM   #20
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Rey REALLY didn't appreciate Bubba wearing his ass for a hat.


In moments, the feeding frenzy was over, and Reydracula retreated back to his nest.


Just to kill some time, Lex Luther comes out and explains how exactly he went from Clark Kent's friend to Superman's mortal enemy.


Torrie got the patting her head part. Now if only she could rub her tummy...


Apprehension struck Dawn when she realized the leopard skin wasn't completely dead yet.


Even now, hours later, Torrie's jaw was still sore from what she had to do to get a spot on the pay-per-view.


His previous experiments with the Uruk-hai had proven to be failures, but with werewolves by his side, nothing could stop Saruman now!


"What the... what's that anvil-shaped thing descending at a rapid speed...?"


Mordecai passed the hazing ritual when he successfully carried SCOTTIE'S invisible crucifix with Scotty attached.

OR

Though a rookie, Mordecai was smart enough to shield himself against the Aura whenever Triple H entered the building.

OR

He may have been playing the heel, but that didn't prevent Mordecai from helping Scotty get a better view of those hot cheerleaders in Section H Row 9.

I'll do the rest later. I g2g catch a movie.
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Old 05-17-2004, 07:31 PM   #21
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Rey Mysterio and the photographers of Playboy stared in confusion, why a husky white man in shorts would be lying in the sun during a model shoot.



Kurt: When I come to my hometown of Pitsburgh...wow...I'm going to get myself a whole new mansion! I'm going to get a doorbell that gives you a shower when you buzz on it, I'm going to get a toilet that when you flush it it will tell a Bob Saggot joke, I'll get a floor that everytime you walk on it the floor will yell "I PITY THE FOO I PITY THE FOO" and I will get a toaster that when the toast pops up a little pizza guy will appear in the window and say "TOASTY!"



If Kid Rock was female.



Suddenly, Raiden appears out of the sky, and quickly uppercuts Johnny Cage out of the airplane level, and onto the pit of spikes.

Raiden: BALLA TA DAA!!!



Mordecai: Oh my God....please...I know you can hear me, strike down with a vengeance, and get rid of this rabbid hare, Scotty.
God, hearing one his childrens requests, fires a lightning bolt at Mordecai, so effective, Mordecai goes bald.
Mordecai: I TOLD YOU TO HIT SCOTTY, NOT ME!
God: You said you wanted to get rid of that hair.



Ref: (Noticing Dupree's dance, gets a jump rope) CALL THE TOWN! RENE'S HAD A BABY, HE'S BOYFRIENDS GOIN CRAAAAZY! 1...2...3..4...5!
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Old 05-17-2004, 08:04 PM   #22
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HHH (in big booming voice): You are now the chosen one.....
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Old 05-17-2004, 08:33 PM   #23
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Torrie: Um...wrestl...ing? Is that anything like sex?


Angle: Yea, I know...this PPV sucks. Just take the pillow I provided under all your seats and enjoy the 3 hour siesta.


Why does Bradshaw look so scared?
Is it because Jericho could no longer stand a less talent wrestle being in the main event?
NO!
Is it because Triple H was horny and it was time for Bradshaw to pay up?
NO!
Is it because his stock shares just droped 10 points?
NO!
The reason is because this man was walking down to the ring...


God Bless you Kane Knight!
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Old 05-17-2004, 09:39 PM   #24
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"For the last time, I'm not Gandalf!... I'm Kevin Nash!"


"See...told ya I'm Nash.. "


Holly: We are men.. it's ok to cry..

Haas: We are men.. men is what we are....Tyler?
(And just like that.. Tyler was gone)


Bearer: ..So Conan has this lever now that plays clips of the show now, and people are laughing..

Walker: O'Brian is going down!


Taker: O'Haire.. if you shine that light on my eye one more time, you're going down faster than Torrie on pay day!


Even JBL is stunned at the fact that he is getting a push.

JBL: Guh? I just wanted to play the fooseball.


You can do anything to this referee... But if you dirty his shoes... you unleash hell.


Eddie: FREEEEEDOOOOOMMMM!!
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Old 05-17-2004, 10:22 PM   #25
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The latest victims of watching a JBL vs. Hardcore Holly match.



Torrie: "Oh man, do I have to sleep with the dog this time."



Dawn: "Oh shit, so that's where that vibrating was coming from."



Semen overdose always gets the best of Torrie.



Mordecai: "Once my tower is complete I will be able to raise an army to conquer Middle Earth."
In the background
Triple H: "What was that?!"
Mordecai: "...oh ****!"




Mordecai: "Ah, so there's the glass ceiling."



The road agents told Jackie to keep it in her pants, but she just couldn't listen.



Cena: "Holy shit, do you bathe in tripe?"



Booker T: "Oh Raquel, Mr. Franklin's feeling a little lonely over here, does Booker T have to choke a bitch?"



Undertaker was furious to find out that he was being replaced by a bag of money.



Undertaker: "NOW WHICH SPORT IS BETTER?"
Booker T: Nascar...now please zip it back up!"



Looking down at a playboy....

Undertaker's new porn freak gimmick did not go over well with the fans.



JBL: "Oh my God, just look at those clogged pores you need Oxy Medicated Pads."
Eddie: "Practicing to be a salesman after you get fired?"
JBL: "...yeah."



JBL: "And so I'm pumping away, and your mom is screaming like a banshee...."
Eddie: "Oh GOD! I give up! You can have the damn title, just DON'T finish that sentence!"



WWE's first ever "Cheery Kool-Aid On a Pole" match was a huge hit.



Eddie: "I'm an internet fan too essa! Do I look like a fat, out-of-shape wannabe?!"



Bradshaw: "Oh God please stop playing the tapes, I didn't know I sucked that bad."



WWE's version of "The Passion" did not do well at the box office.
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Old 05-18-2004, 01:15 AM   #26
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Quote:

Eddie: "I'm an internet fan too essa! Do I look like a fat, out-of-shape wannabe?!"
LMAO!

I think that could be a CotM candidate. Anyone agree?
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Old 05-18-2004, 01:35 AM   #27
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This wasn't the best time to start taping "Kick me" signs to people's backs, but Brian Hebner was a mischievous one.


Haas looked up at the clock. They only had five minutes to get out of here before the arena imploded in disgust of the upcoming Eddie/JBL match!


The arena goes silent in shock as Chavo is attacked by ALIEN.


Now that he'd enlisted his father's help as a tag partner, Chavo would never lose a World's Shortest Ladder Match again!


Tragedy struck when Cena's hand went Rick James on his face.


Ref: "Renee? What are you doing? You're acting as though you're in some sort of invisible cruci--oh crap."


"AH SHIT! McGyver's on!!"


Deciding his Dead Cowboy look was a bit too stale, Undertaker decided to put Queen Amidala to shame with his own headdress.


"Um... bang your dead?"


Being held down was one thing, but Booker REALLY resented being used as a support staff for Taker's trek through the glass ceiling.


Despite the submission hold, Booker was all grins. Because this morning, he gave a call to Enzyte, the all-natural....


Patrick: "Hey Taker! Your kneepad's a homo!"


Taker: "WHAT'd you call my knee?"

OR

Clearly, Taker could not believe it was butter.


Booker's "Rod stuck up your ass inspector" was off to a shaky start with Taker, but he was sure he'd find something once he got to Bradshaw.


Fans popped huge when Taker performed his own thrilling and almost-never-seen Takeroonie.


JBL: "I know you! Back in the 70s, you were that Mexican kid Fez that I picked on!!!"


He may be a slob at wrestling, but no one could deny Bradshaw was incredible at invisible weight lifting.


Eddie's face painting lessons weren't panning out too well.


"I'm being pushed for ANOTHER MONTH???"


Needless to say, after this incident, Bradshaw was fired by the American Red Cross.


Eddie was frantic. Triple H would be PISSED when he found out they'd ruined the Evolution Kool-Aid.


*punch* No! *punch* I *punch* do NOT *punch* want *punch* a Gordito!!! *punch*


"Okay, Carrie! You win! You ARE the most gorgeous psycho telekinetic girl I've ever seen!!!"


Eddie found out the hard way that on her really wet days, Steph liked to seek solace in O'Haire's old cage.
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Old 05-18-2004, 02:01 AM   #28
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Glad to see that I started the LOTR jokes...



Rey grabs for the sky wrench to escape the grasp of the chicken legged man.



Chavo's gravitational powers go haywire.



Worst. London Bridge. EVER!



Professor X: Oh really, perverted man in Secion 98, Row V, seat 69? I'll see what I can do...



Torrie: (to herself) now, am I supposed to be intense, scared, or happy? I know, I'll act scared!



Man in Section 98, Row V, Seat 69: YES! THANK YOU PROFESSOR X! Only one thing could make this better.

Professor X: Ok, how about this...



Torrie: Hey, I won! But why do I want to sleep with the guy in Section 98, Row V, Seat 69? DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?



The Undertaker's new KKK member gimmick caused outrage.



Taker: Umm, er... Hello Shaq...



Taker: Dear Booking God, accept this sacrifice so I can get a less offensive gimmick!

Vince Russo: eh, ok.

Taker: Why does that voice sound familiar?



Rico thanks god that it wasn't Ms. Jackie who had the Wardrobe Malfunction this time...



Brian Hebner is busy making shadow puppets as Haas does the dreaded Nipple bite escape...



Charlie celebrates his victory by doing his best Sabu impression.



Chavo tries out a Pompadour wig...



Chavo Classic: Dear Booking God, please accept this sacrifice so my son never has to job to a woman again?

Vince Russo: I'm sorry, I can't guarantee that...

Chavo Jr.: Why do I get this feeling I'll lose my title to Jim Ross next week?



While Cena takes another eye exam, Rene steals the 25 dollars sealed in his Roos...



Cena: Ok, Ref, now start hopping to the left and right over and over.



Stevie Richards pulls Rene to safety, solidifying his heel turn.



Taker: Thank you, Booker God.

Vince Russo: Your Welcome!

Paul: Is that who I think it is?



Richards will never be safe now that Booker has found the Invisible Gun...



Booker T: Why did you have to bite my nipple, man?



As soon as his foot got seared off, Booker learned to never piss off a depressed Cyclops, EVER!



Nick Patrick: You know Booker T, you should have White Lifts with White Boots, they don't stand out as much...



RVD had the munchies, and he wasn't happy that Taker at all the Powdered Donuts...



You'd look like that too if the WWE Logo was seared into your leg...



And Undertaker wins the Dark Side Paper-Rock-Scissors Match.



Ref: Damn, John, this is the first time I ever seen you do THIS move...

JBL: I know, Vince told me to double my moveset for tonight or be sent back to midcard hell...



JBL: Human Field Goal post was a poor gimmick idea to say the least, but it was the most mobile JBL has EVER been...



JBL: You shore do got a purty mouth...



Stevie Richards: Ok JBL, time to pay your dues, Triple H-style!



JBL sets up Eddie to get put away in the Crucifixion match, and he's still trying to figure out who's booking this crap?



After shooting JR's hand, Eddie crawls away



Eddie: You mean this feud has to continue? GOD DAMN IT!

Ref: Eddie, don't take your anger out on him, it's an act of the Booker God.



No... More... Ketchup!



Eddie: WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?

Vince Russo: You're a Mexican! next week's title defense will be a Pinata match!

Eddie: (thinks for a second) Ok, I'll have Bart Gunn watch my back...

Vince Russo: Foiled again!
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:21 AM   #29
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Big_Bluto presents:
WWE: National Lampoons Animal House; a play by Vince McMahon




Mordecai: You guys know what we need to do?

Mordecai: You guys up for a toga party?
Scotty: Toga! Toga! Toga!

RVD: Toga!
Mysterio: Toga!

Neidermeyer: And, most recently...that a Roman toga party was held, from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of peversion, SO profound and disgusting, the decorum prohibits listing them here. These are the charges recorded this day, November 15th, 1962.

Cena: Hey, Eric Straton rush chairman, glad to meet ya.

Bubba: Uh, what's my Delta Tau Chi name?
Mysterio: Bubba, I've given this a lot of thought. From now on, your name is Flounder.

Greg, honey? Is it supposed to be this soft?
OR
We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong.
OR
May I have ten thousand marbles, please?


Sorry guys but that's all I had time for.
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:38 AM   #30
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Undertaker did not like being told he couldn't supersize
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Old 05-18-2004, 10:15 AM   #31
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Holy shit Eddie really bled there.
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Old 05-20-2004, 10:29 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Corkscrewed
LMAO!

I think that could be a CotM candidate. Anyone agree?
Yes.
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Old 05-21-2004, 02:10 AM   #33
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LOL
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:40 PM   #34
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Yep, so I've been seriously slacking the last couple of weeks. It doesn't help that SmackDown's been pre-empted so much lately for the Pistons and that I had literally no interest in Judgment Day. However, since I have sort of missed the caption game, I'm going to try to get all caught up...starting with five days ago. Here goes.

OH! I almost forgot. I haven't read anyone else's yet, so sorry if I rip someone off.



Burning crosses in the background... being lifted by a pasty white good ol' boy... Rey knew he wasn't in San Diego anymore.



The aftermath of the ill-advised Lita run-in.



In an unprecedented move, Vince McMahon actually remembered a gimmick he started last year and quickly abandoned. Unfortunately for RVD, that meant that HE was now the "Mabel" of "Men on a Mission 2004!"



Lex Luthor HATED borrowing the microphone after Mr. Freeze. That fucker was almost as bad as Rhyno...



Torrie's reaction to seeing "VH1 and Blender's 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs" list.

TORRIE: But...I LIKED "Barbie Girl!"



Dawn Marie - The latest victim of the WWE Glass Wall (Patent Pending).



RIKISHI: Mmmmm...
TORRIE: (cough) The things I'll do to stay on TV...



MORDECAI: So come on down to Crazy Mordecai's House of Crosses! Perfect for showing your faith or for those pesky crucifixions. How can I sell crosses so low? I'm craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy!



Mordecai, still the Undisputed WWE Hold Your Breath Till You Turn Purple Champion.



MORDECAI: Say, friend, I couldn't help but notice you're stuck using an old-fashioned invisible crucifix. Lemme just help you down and see if I have something in the back for ya.



Next up on "Pedantic Republican Judgment"...heterosexual women and their friendship with homosexual men!



Hardcore Holly won't even sell having his nipple bitten off.



RICO: Yay! We won!
JACKIE: Uh...
CHARLIE: Why is that sniper wearing a "G.L.A.A.D." t-sh--oh, shit.



After Jacqueline's clothes fell off, Chavo decided to give her a piggyback ride to the locker room and away from the prying eyes. Ever the prankster, though, he gave everybody one last good look on the way out.



CHAVO: Hehe. I'm the champ, bro!
CLASSIC: I wonder if I could convince Vince to let me win this on Thursday... Nah.



Much like Rey Mysterio tricking Nunzio a couple of months back, Rene Dupree manages to convince John Cena that if he looked very closely, "8 Mile" was playing on the palm of his hand.



RENE: Sacre bleu! I 'ave become invisibly crucified again!
MORDECAI: Say, friend...



Dupree desperately needed to counter the F-U, but couldn't figure out how...until he saw John's hernia.



WALKER: Are you sure this is where I can find him?
O.P.: Oompa loompa doompity doo...



Booker T was so desperate to remain in the main-event picture, he even agreed to self-castration.



Undertaker was getting old. He used to be able to get up and change the lightbulbs all by himself, with no support.



REF: Good, good. You ALMOST had it there. Now, next time, fall BACKWARDS. Then you'll have this whole double-arm DDT thing down pat.
BOOKER: My shoulders...



REF: Good, good. You ALMOST had it there. Now, next time, swing a little more to your left. Then you'll have this whole low-blow thing down pat.



VINCE: Hey, Mark! Stop doing cocaine during your matches!
UT: (sniff) I wasn't!



Don't you just hate it when you almost have the match one and some insensitive Jedi throws a lightsaber through your nose?



UT: (cough cough wheeze)
VINCE: All right! Good punch! Now do another one!



EDDIE: I know you liked Troy and all, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this, ese.
JBL: Why not? This is how they used to wrestle in Ancient Greece!



JBL's "Chinups on the edge of the glass ceiling" was, surprisingly, the most over taunt on SmackDown since "You can't see me."



Man! That is one hardcore noogie!



JBL looked on in horror as the Push Timer reached single digits.



Are rest holds really necessary when your opponent has passed out from blood loss?



This was the last time Vince would let Quentin Tarantino book a pay-per-view main event.



Eddie didn't realize it, but Brian Hebner had become possessed by the Shoulder Biting Demon.



JBL: He let me keep my pathetic life for two reasons...



Eddie Guerrero - STILL the WWE Platoon Impersonation Champion.
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Old 05-22-2004, 12:37 AM   #35
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Quote:
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Man! That is one hardcore noogie!

LMAO
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