Raw: Live from Bizzaro-world! (spoilers)

[tucsonspeed6]

When JR and King hinted at Quebec being "Bizzaro-world" at the beginning of Raw last night, my friends and I laughed. What a funny joke, no? I reminded my friends of the Seinfeld ep about Bizzaro-world.

*Knock knock knock* Bizzaro-Jerry: Who is it? Voice from outside the door: It's me, Feldman! ...........From across the hall! Bizzaro-Jerry: Oh! *Unlocks the door to let Feldman in.

But really...what happened to Raw? in a single week so much has changed.
First, we start the show with the dynamic cheap heat duo, La Resistance, winning the tag titles back from who else, Chris Benoit and Edge, two fellow canadians. Normally in this situation we'd be subjected to Sylvan and Rob saying "Boy, Quebec sure has gone down hill since we left. Thank goodness we got out of here when we did! What a dump!" or "Man, where did all the hot chicks go? Last time we were here it was great! Now this town is full of ugly pig chicks!" or the supreme cheap heat: "It must be great to have us back in town. God knows you have to be embarassed to live in the home town of such awful athletes as the Montreal Expos!"

But it was ok. A decent match.... my attention strayed only once during the whole match, and it was during a "too long" headlock. What's next? Oh goodie...a Eugene segment! Now we're cooking with grease. Eugene enters the room with Regal, and EB awaits. EB appologises! SWERVE!!!!! I'll be damned.... Enter Coach. Coach is forced to appologise to Eugene. Not only does he do it, but he builds Eugene up more than the Rock did! SWERVE!!! Out comes Kane. SWERVE!!! Coach looks scared. Then he says that Kane is the friend he was refering to. SWERVE!!! Kane reaches out for a hug. Eugene hugs him and reveals a softer side of Sears... SWERVE!!! Coach shoves Eugene in front of Kane. Me: "WTF!?!?! He's freaking nuts!" Kane walks over to beat him up, but turns around and beats Eugene up! SWERVE!!! And EB was in on it all along! SWERVE!!! Later: EB has a sincere talk with Eugene and gives Eugene a hug. SWERVE!!! Me: "WTF AGAIN?!?!"

After a point my frends and I were making "Bizzaro-world" predictions for the night. Some were correct: Eugene being in the main event. And some were wrong: Durring the Matt Hardy/Garrison Cade match, I predicted that if it were truly Bizzaro-world, they'd go to commercial halfway through the match and when they came back, it'd be a match between Mark Jindrak and Jeff Hardy, with Lizzy Borden at Ringside. (You: "Huh?" Me: "BIZZARO!!!")

And what about that main event match? Terrible, huh? Yeah. I agree. But that's the way it is in bizzaro-world. In Bizzaro-world, Eugene is fucking Steph's brains out and gets all of the main events. Weird, huh? (BTW, we counted 8 segments/matches with Eugene involved. I only pray that this is a one time only visit to Bizzaro-world, my friends...)

But if the main event was a stinkfest, at least it made up for that rotting-ass fest that was the Orton/Benjamin match. Pretty good match for a while: My friends and I debate whether Orton's cut forehead was a blade job or hardway. Suddenly Orton gets that "look" in his eyes when he's ready for an RKO. My eyebrow raises...."getting better" I think. Benjamin turns it into a pin! 2 count!!! I'm on the edge of my seat now. Orton leaves. Benjamin follows, but it's a trick! Sucker punch on the ramp!!! I jump to my feet, turn to my friends and say "I told you Orton was smart!" Turn back just in time to see the "2....3...." of the 3 count that I hear was from a..... a...... POWERSLAM!!!!! Christ...I was ready to give myself a grande latte enema for a second there. Thank goodness we have Eugene writing the shows now.

So now here I am, writing this thread to find out whether or not I was dreaming last night. I taped the show, but I'm still hoping somebody can please tell me that I just gave away the spoilers to my own horrible, dimented psychee...maybe a discription of a bad burrito born hallucination...if nothing else, please tell me that I lost my glasses and was watching a rerun of "The Young and the Restless" from 1984. I'm just so confused!!!

[Corkscrewed]

It was supposedly a T-Bone suplex, not a powerslam.

Nice little TR.