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Old 12-22-2003, 03:37 PM   #1
Loose Cannon
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Classic Wrestling Captions
Since there is no live Raw tonight, I thought I'd do some classic captions instead.


Tantaka, "I think I got some over there."
Billy, "Aw Gross, what did you eat."
Bart, "Holy shi** this stuff is glowing."


Tugboat just found a coupon in his pocket for a free hamburgar with a purchase of a large soda.




Val was pissed when he found out that the belt he actually recieved was the International Heavyweight Title, a belt which had been defunct for quite some time.




And I want you to be a Four Horseman, call 1800-555-Flair.


Hall, "Hey knock knock."

Nash, "Who's there"

Hall, "WCW"

Nash, "WCW WHO"

Hall, "Exactly"



The angle was originally suppossed to be Jake DDTing Macho Man on the steel steps, but Jake was a little high that day.


Bad News knew he shouldn't of attempted a sunset flip.


Someone gave these guys the wrong directions. They were suppossed to be heading to a Black Sabbath concert.



Smash, "Hey AX, who is this guy."
Ax, "I don't know, don't look."




Sting, "This trophy is for a guy called Sting"
Camera guy, "That's you"
sting, "No Kidding"
Last edited by Loose Cannon; 12-22-2003 at 11:37 PM.
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Old 12-22-2003, 03:47 PM   #2
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Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Nowhere Man got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)

Needless to say, this wasn't exactly the response Booker T was going for when he asked for a push.
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Old 12-22-2003, 04:12 PM   #3
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BART: Are you okay, man?
TATANKA: I just had a vision of the future. Bart, you win a "shoot" tournament, then get your ass kicked by Butterbean. I'm out of the wrestling mainstream altogether...
BILLY: What about me?
TATANKA: You...are an Ass Man!
All scream.



Tugboat once again proved that he was the world's best Invisible Sword Swallower.



The Beast was happy he has won the European Title. Now if he could just get those stupid villagers to stop trying to torch his castle...



FLAIR: Hey, you. Yeah, you. The one who's reading these captions. You got something on your shirt.



HALL: And I said, don't worry Booker. You'll be WAY more over if you go back to G.I. Bro!



Jake was confused. He'd heard of Trouser Snakes before, but...aren't they supposed to come out the front of the trousers?



Bad News Brown knew to dive and roll over the logo. Bret didn't see it and tripped.



Okay, everyone in the ring with talent, raise your hand.

That's what I thought.



SMASH: Isn't that your belt, Ax?
CRUSH: No, it's mine.
AX: I had a watch when I left the locker room...



STING: How am I supposed to wear this around my waist?
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Old 12-22-2003, 05:30 PM   #4
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The hamburger coupon owns!




FLAIR: NO, YOU'RE A HOMO! (classic pic with classic caption )



HALL: And he just got back into the ring, only to get injured again! Ha!
Nash: hey wait a minute...



Jake tried desperately to keep the snake from biting, as the guy in the audience used parselmouth to exact his revenge on macho.




STING: How the hell am I supposed to fit a whole Heinken Magnum in here? Huh? Tell me!
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Old 12-22-2003, 11:20 PM   #5
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[QUOTE=Loose Cannon]Since there is no live Raw tonight, I thought I'd do some classic captions instead.


No matter how irate he got, Tatanka could always be calmed down with a soothing belly rub.


"Curses! The saleslady said that stripes would have a slimming effect!"




Val knew that he shouldn't have had that prune juice before the match.




Ric starts off his career as the ONE TIME, ONE TIME --- whoo! --- ONE TIME World Heavyweight Champion.


Nash always got a big laugh with Hall's --- ummm --- special brand of puppetry.



Jake: "Awww, dammit! You landed on my snake."


As Undertaker sees his Ministry for the first time, he begins to wonder what the hell he did to piss Vince off.



Smash: "C'mon, strike a pose! Honestly, you two are the worst showgirls I've ever seen!"
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Old 12-23-2003, 12:23 AM   #6
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Vince's "Operaman" idea failed miserably,forcing Fred Ottman to go
to WCW,where he wore a mask to hide his shame....




Once again one of Vince's ideas fails,as he couldn't get Val Venis
over as "Macho Man 3000".....



Nash couldn't control his laughter as Scott Hall asked him to drop
the title to someone else.....



Jake Roberts' new job as WWF Fashion Consultant failed miserably,
after he attacked Randy Savage for not matching his boots with his
tights....



Judging by the looks on their faces,even The Ministry had no idea
where the hell this angle was going...



A rare picture of the ORIGINAL Demolition group is seen below (from
left to right): "The Shooter" Dean Malenko; Duane "Gillberg" Gill; and
Steve Blackman.....



The sad thing is,Sting had this picture taken yesterday
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Old 12-23-2003, 02:51 AM   #7
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Let me try this captioning stuff again...



Tatanka informed Tobey Keith and Tim McGraw which direction their careers would be going.



This was the third time this week that Tugboat stole the poor referee's lunchmoney.



Venis: Lost ANOTHER loan to Ditech!



Flair points at the funniest looking guy he's ever seen.



Jericho just told Scott and Kevin that he won't be held down in the WWF.



Jake: and don't EVER put out another Rap album again, GET IT?



While Bad News tries to explain how a kick to the head will end his career, Bret exits the ring to talk to Vince, who he feels will never betray him.



Mark's mom grounded him for a week. He should have known that he and his friends should act out D&D scenes in the living room.



Smash: But a Biker Gang from Hawaii doesn't make sense!

Crush: It'll work and that's the end of it! Go Steal a Car or something!
Last edited by Vastardikai; 12-23-2003 at 02:55 AM. Reason: Because I'm allowed to.
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Old 12-23-2003, 06:47 AM   #8
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Farooq: "UH....OH!"
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Old 12-23-2003, 11:23 AM   #9
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"It's okay, kid. The gimmick was shit...What kind of moron would expect people to go for a guy with neon hair. What next? Facepaint?"



"OHHHHHH YEAAAAH! Payless sale!"

(Look at the Tank Top if there's any questrionm about that)




The Ring Announcer accidentally announces Val as Hunter Heart Helmsley...




"UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TO JOIN THE HOMOSEXUAL ARMY RESERVES! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"



After Rob Van Dam visited WCW, Nobody was quite themselves.



"Wait...You're not Hogan!"



Early experimentation with a gravity switch.



"One Thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know..."



"Is my Mascara running?"



RVD's visit claims another victim.
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Old 12-23-2003, 01:00 PM   #10
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Hall: I think im a good wrestler


Studies show that this is not the missing head of Rey


Kane: Fr.....fr....friend??
Last edited by Savio; 12-23-2003 at 01:24 PM.
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Old 12-23-2003, 03:00 PM   #11
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Billy: We just got our asses beat, didn't we?
Bart: Yeah, but I've got great news.
Tatanka: We get a rematch?
Bart: No, I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
Billy: I can't feel a heartbeat.
Tatanka: That's my stomach, jackass.


A disgruntled fan shot Tugboat in the back, but the big sailor was saved by a salami he was aging in his tank top.


Val tries out for the title belt discus team.


Somebody shoot YOU in the head!


Hall: And then Vince said we'd crawl back to WWF someday!
Nash: I think I tore my quad.


Savage later insisted that Jake and the snake were sent after him by "Hulk Hogan's people."


Luckily Bret reached for the Canadian penny just in time.


The Undertaker insisted on a booth in the nonsmoking section, so the Ministry had to wait.


Smash: Holy crap Crush, that's one hell of a blade job.


Wow, if I put this in my pants I'll look really hung!
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Old 12-23-2003, 03:02 PM   #12
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This severed head represents a graphic depiction of Vince's plan for the Cruiserweight division.


Kane exhibits his ability to produce midcarders from his crotch.
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Old 12-23-2003, 06:50 PM   #13
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Tatanka needed to get serious medical attention after he saw "THE VINCE"



Tugboat didn't win the match, but he did just save money on his car insurance.



Venis was going to kill D'Lo for putting that HEAT RUB in his jock.



Flair obviously cannot point to his knees.



Hall: And then as he carried our bags, Hunter whined, "I'm going ta be a main eventer sometime. You'll see."



Kid w/ Glasses: It's FAKE!
Jake: WHOA! IT LOOKS SOOOOO REAAAAAAL!



The BEGINNING of the END



When HHH came on stage back in the good old days, this is the wonderful reaction he got from his competitors.



Smash: Look I didn't steal Axe's watch! I have NEVER stolen and I will NEVER STEAL ANYTHING!
Axe: Wanna bet?
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Old 12-23-2003, 11:57 PM   #14
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As you can see, Val Venis did NOT use Preparation H.
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Old 12-24-2003, 09:32 PM   #15
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Bart: I'm going to Japan the WWF sucks..
Tananka: I need a real job, I'm tired of playing an Indian..
Billy: Screw this where's Vince? I need a new gimmack.



Val Venis was angry to find out that the "Big Show" name was given to Paul Wright instead of him when in fact he's a no show..



Axe: I want a belt.. Lets get the WWF to make a six man title.
Smash: Sh*t he's gone nuts, this isn't WCW!
Crush: You think I care?



Tugboat realized the Earthquakes begin each time he eats White Castles!
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