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06-08-2004, 04:23 PM
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#1 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
 
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WWE RAW Captions Thread (6/8/04)
They're back baby!
                           
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06-08-2004, 04:33 PM
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#2 |
Posts: 18,357
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doh... I posted mine in another thread.
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06-08-2004, 04:34 PM
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#3 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Stacy Kiebler comes out in her "before" stage as part of the promotion for her new movie 14 Going on 40 Distraught that his father was still Cruiserweight Champ, Chavo Jr. allowed his gravity manipulation skills to go haywire, much to the misfortune of the ladies. OR The WWE divas do their Stephanie McMahon impression. Batista: champion of the Invisible-Midget-Military-Pressing-While-On-Your-Knees competition. Shelton fought hard, but Evolution was going to make him watch the new Bradshaw/A-Train porn on Randy's new mini DVD player whether Benjamin liked it or not! Edge had been looking so much like Triple H recently that he had begun to catch a bit of Hunter's Hold Down Aura. Seconds later, The Rock unveiled a new and amazing maneuver when he unleashed his Wardrobe Malfuncion Laser Eyes. When a stray bear wandered into the arena, the WWE decided to stop it by dropping Jerichos on it. Jericho was having a hard time with the new A-Train Tricycle. La Resistance, relinquishing the titles when Benoit told them he was part German. Benoit found out the hard way not to tangle with Rhyno's Twizzlers. Steven Richards struck again when he tried to shoot Edge in the heart with an arrow for the third time. Unfortunately for Benoit's groin, he missed. "Whaddya mean there's no cream filling???" Benoit does his time-warping Supersonic Jet impression. Kane wasn't quite getting the gist of these tango lessons. When Benoit was suddenly pantsed, it was up to Glenn "Auto-Censor for the FCC" Jacobs to save the day. Does this even need a caption? Eugene felt humiliated. Management had been treating like a dog for a while now, but not it was starting to get literal. Eugene would have had a fantastic double axe handle, except that those were Rhyno's Twizzlers, as you may recall, and that meant the landing wouldn't be pretty. Coach knew he'd hit rock bottom when both a retard and a Brit were calling him a homo. Orton further cements his status as a heel when by stealing Shawn's smile... Michaels reversed the cards by swiping Randy's boot. The Three-Person Foot-to-Foot/Head-to-Head Chain: Another side effect of Rhyno. Have some glue remover! I guess Michaels found blades too much of a hastle and switched over to pistols. Batista does his Bradshaw in Germany impression. Seeing his buddy, Randy, in trouble, Batista sprung into action and merged Shawn into his shoulder, thereby saving Orton from a savage beating. Here we see HBK's torso stuck after he tried to take some of Rhyno's Twizzler... Backstage, Chavo Jr. smirked. Triple H had nothing on him! You see, Triple H had bought the last ticket the Hansen concert... Peter held HHH in placed while Egon sucked him into his backpack. That should take care of this one! (rep for the weak reference) Last edited by Corkscrewed; 06-08-2004 at 04:47 PM. |
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06-08-2004, 04:34 PM
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#4 |
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Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Stacy: Look who's back..........what?.....STOP CHEERING FOR THE CAPTIONS!! |
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06-08-2004, 04:41 PM
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#5 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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Who you going to call Cork? Ghostbusters. Ah, good times
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06-08-2004, 04:43 PM
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#6 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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It was a sad day for the WWE. Unfortunately, there was a rift in the space-time continuim and Eugene was suck into oblivion. |
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06-08-2004, 04:44 PM
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#7 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Rep for you!
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06-08-2004, 04:45 PM
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#8 |
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Posts: 18,357
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"Hey Michaels! You should stay in the back!!" "Oh sure... 'Stay in the back' he says. Never mind there's a serial killer running around the lockerroom!!!!" |
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06-08-2004, 04:53 PM
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#9 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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God, how I missed these.
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06-08-2004, 05:00 PM
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#10 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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-EDIT- DAMN! That rep was rightfully mine...
Damn! Even Stacy prepping for surgery is hot! The WWE Circus of the Stars was off to an amazing start as Gail Kim, Lita, and Steven Richards unveiled their acrobatic act. In a savage betrayal, Batista soon found himself the latest victim of the Invisible Crucifix. Let's read everyone's thoughts... RANDY: Okay, take careful aim. Line up the shot. Swivel the hips, and swing the belt. Easy. You're not going to miss... RIC: Ah, holding the brother down. This takes me back. DAVE: [Crickets chirping] SHELTON: Wow! I could be the next African-American Intercontinental Champion! I could join the elite ranks of Ahmed Johnson, and...uh... EDGE: Listen, I'm really sorry aboot what happened last week. CHRIS: Aw, it's no problem. Here, gimme a hu-- [Thud] CHRIS: Stupid invisible wall... ROCK: You know, I invented the term "popcorn fart." BIEL: Uh, yeah... Thanks for that. Chris knew this was his chance to escape. While A-Train wracked his brain to figure out what "SWG Dof" meant, he would be distracted! It's bad when Rhyno sticks anyone to the mat, but they had to be extra careful with A-Train. They wouldn't want him to come up with bald spots, would they? Thinking quickly as La Resistance jumped on the JBL bandwagon, the WWE graphics department digitally added title belts. Benoit didn't take too kindly to Sylvan...um...putting his croissaint in the oven. EDGE: Hmm... Maybe if I allowed people to know more, they might actually know me instead of just thinking they know me... The Circus of the Stars continued as Chris Benoit demonstrated his Laser Dodging accumen. After months of disuse, Eddie Guerrero decides to try out the old Butterfly Effect on his old buddy Chris. KANE: Whoa! You're missing a tooth... CHRIS: Yeah, I could sure use a dentist. Do you know any? Sadly, the fan in the front row will make the Hall of Fame first. The Eugeneroonie wasn't quite up to snuff. Johnny Nitro is such a dick. He told Eugene there was an invisible vine there. He knew Eugene was a sucker for Tarzan. Coachman pinched himself. This had to be a dream. Here he was, in a public place, surrounded by retards, uppity Brits, idiot rednecks, and what had to be a 1930s gangster. RANDY: [thinking] Okay, just slap your hands with his. That's how you play Pattycake. Just concentrate on the--DAMMIT! Further proof that Sweet Chin Music can be hit out of anywhere! Worst. Ref bump. Ever. In the second shocking turn of the night, Edge brought back an old friend. DAVE: Huh huh. That guy on the big screen is a homo... The ref figured with the fans distracted by the brawl, he could release a little pressure and no one would notice. HBK decides to take a mid-match break and dozes off atop the glass ceiling. Shawn Michaels proves that he'll do anything to win at Bad Blood by ripping Batista's (blue) spine out. So the male fantasies about slumber parties are tr--those are dudes? Ewwwwwwww... GUS PETCH: Ah'mon' nail yo ass! (rep for the reference) |
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06-08-2004, 05:12 PM
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#11 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Batista lands the worst of ways after attempting a Shooting Star Press off the top rope. Ref: Told you not to copy Brock moves. Benoit,after Edge asks him for a personnal "30 second pose." Rock: Sooo,Jessica...would you like to ride the Scorpion King while Walking Tall as I give you a Rundown with my Spy Hunter?.?? Jessica: Um..huh? Resistance: Um,we found these. Do these matter to anyone? Benoit: Yeah,I found one of those too. Mine's got choco in it! Benoit: FRRREEEEDOMMMM!! French Guy: Stop saying that! Batista (looking at Titantron): Guh,BIG Batista! Funnnnyyy... The effects of Pop Rocks and Coke claim another victim. The fight between HHH and HBK ends horrible when HBK plays "where's your nose" with Mortal Kombat results. |
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06-08-2004, 05:15 PM
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#12 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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06-08-2004, 05:21 PM
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#13 |
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Smitten for Kittens
Posts: 3,814
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Worst. Hokey Pokey. Ever. Batista screamed in pain--as would you, if you had SHELTON FREAKING BENJAMIN growing out of your leg. Ha, ha. Poor Yogi. He thought Booboo was joking when he said Ranger Smith could fly. "It is the purpose that drives us, Mr. Benoit..." "The purpose that guides us..." Last week, Benoit was a victim of Edge's spear. This week, things get worse, as Edge misses the Human Enema... Chris Benoit: Technical wrestler. World champ. Dragonball Z villain. Shawn knew he shouldn't have eaten those chimichongas. "Noogie!" "Heeeey, cut it out!" |
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06-08-2004, 05:26 PM
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#14 |
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Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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In an effort to save WWE some money, Table matches from now on would need a mandatory 2 women and Dave Batista for the Dudleys to crash through. Batista: SUCK ON MY BALLS!!!!!!!!!!! Benoit: Dude! Where's my car? Edge: Where's your car, dude? Benoit: Dude...where's my car? Edge: Where's your car, dude? Later...... Benoit: Sweet! What about mine? Edge: Dude! What does mine say? Benoit: Sweet! What about mine? Edge: Dude! What does mine say? etc......... Rock: Yeah, Baby..... Kate*muttering*: Get your hand off my ass! It's more than you can afford! Rock: You want the jabroni! Kate: I'm not Triple H! Jericho: Albert! You've got new boots! Cool! A-Train: Really not the time, Chris! Ref: Are you alright A-Train? A-Train: I don't think I'm quite right. I'm currently hallucinating I'm on RAW. Ref: You are on RAW A-Train: Live TV? Me? Who are you trying to kid? Edge: Chris - get up. HHH and his goons are bringing the invisible crucifix down to the ring. Benoit: What the fuck do you think you're gonna do with that? Benoit: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! While Benoit always appreciated a Blowjob, his fear overwhelmed him when Kane whispered, "Don't worry, I've been getting lessons from Lita" Eugenes new finishing move Starts off with a high-flying double elbow tornado slam, and ends up with a pin from the left knee. For some unknown reason JR named it 'The Dog-Piss' Eugene: I want to go down there. *security rushes towards the steps* Regal: No son, you can't. You're not dressed ridiculously enough. HBK: Pay attention Randy! Orton: But there's a poster with my name on it up there! Ref: It's not for you. Orton: But is says 'Look Randy Go Randy' Ref: No. It says 'LC's Randy 4 Randy' HBK*sniggers: Homo! Off-camera voice: People think that all cameramen do is point the camera at things, but it's a *heck* of a lot more complicated than that! I mean I can make you look old, bald and past it. HBK: Not me. I'm the Heartbreak Kid. Batista: Look! Here comes Triple H's ego! Shawn Michaels, mounted on his invisible flying dinner chair decided to show off a little, and flew 2 laps of the ring prior to landing backstage in the green room for a little Roast Lamb and Potato Dauphinoise. |
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06-08-2004, 05:30 PM
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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06-08-2004, 05:38 PM
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#16 |
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Only Sane Person Here
Posts: 17,983
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Randy: WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Shelton: ... ...K..Kunta....Kunta-Kinte... Randy: NO! |
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06-08-2004, 05:39 PM
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#17 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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Gail Kim looking into the sky) Alright, I see a large fluff cloud shaped like a V, I see an ice cream cone, a Mr. Fudgie, and an airplane. What do you see?Lita: I see a man in a tuxedo, I see a belt around his shoulder, I see a glass cieling, I see him looking down on every superstar in the WWE. I wonder who the man is...??? Randy: Come on Shelton, this is the closest you'll ever get to the IC title, you will never hold it in your hands. Shelton: But last week I picked it up and nailed you in the head with it. Randy: .... Ric Flair: He's got you there, champ. or.... Randy: Come on Shelton, read the title. Who's name is printed on it? What does it say? Shelton: Made In Tawaiin. Randy: What? Edge: Let me give you a touch of devil, Benoit! Benoit: Whoa, back off barney. A-Train is such a horrible seller and wrestler. Everytime he does an offensive move such as an irish whip or a bodyslam, he screams on the top of his lungs, even when A-Train has his opponent locked in an abdominal stretch, A-Train still yelps and screams, but when A-Train is locked into Chris Jericho's Walls Of Jericho, he just grabs his head in frusteration and puts on a really nasty look, and the move is really supposed to hurt like hell. Rob: Hey Chris, can you guess which one of us will hipnotize you faster? Sylvain: (Whipser) Me. Rob: (Whisper) No, Me. Chris: I am now commanded! You may proceed! (Moments before) Triple H: Now stand here, close your eyes and don't move. Chris: I trust you! Seconds later. Chris: I feel...I feel like I'm flying! (Opens eyes) Chris: Oh Shit! Bill and Ted broke into another Presidental Congress meeting. |
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06-08-2004, 05:43 PM
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#18 |
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Only Sane Person Here
Posts: 17,983
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Benoit's face after finding out he was going to be moved to Smackdown to feud with Bradshaw. |
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06-08-2004, 05:45 PM
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#19 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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WWE's first Divas Anti-Gravity match. Batista does his "JBL in Munich" impression A torantula gone horibbly wrong. |
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06-08-2004, 05:45 PM
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#20 |
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Only Sane Person Here
Posts: 17,983
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REF: Maybe next time you will listen when I tell you to stay in the back, Albert. |
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06-08-2004, 05:55 PM
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#21 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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Ahhhh, how I've missed them.
Stacy felt a bit awkward doing the hokey-pokey all by herself, but anything for some TV time, right? No one's entirely sure just how they managed to botch a simple collar-and-elbow tie up that badly, but that was the last time they let Lita and Gail Kim into the same match ever again. Just when all seemed lost for Shelton, Batista was suddenly possessed by the spirit of the Hulkster, and left wrestling to make a string of crappy movies for a few years and then run another promotion into the ground. Once again, proof that Orton needs the rest of Evolution to help him carry a good match. Benoit: I'm jobbing to La Resistance?! Edge: You're still the World Champion?! Jessica Biel was more than a little bit disturbed when the Rock told her she "smelled like Mick" in a suggestive voice. Chris Jericho's performance in Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong was a smash hit. A-Train cursed the day that Flair told him he could do a hurricanrana. Benoit: So, wait. I'm from Edmonton, but I'm being announced as a good ol' American boy from Georgia. Meanwhile, one of you guys is from Kentucky, but is being announced as an evil Canadian? Conway: Yup, and now the guys who couldn't beat the Hurricane and Rosey fairly are gonna kick the crap out of the guy who made Triple H tap. Life's funny that way, isn't it? Benoit: At least to Vince, it is....*grumbles* Y'know, I'd like to take this time out to say just how pleased I am at how WWE is making Benoit out to be a strong champion.... ....Yessir, the way he's been plowing through top-tier wrestlers left and right just makes him look invincible.... .....and there's no doubt in my mind that he's going to be going into the PPV looking stronger than ever... ...In fact, his run on top could lead to him being a real staple of what a Champion should be! ....yes, Benoit, I was being sarcastic. It's been banned in WWE for quite some time, but for this momentous title match, WWE let Benoit use the Warp Speed Hyperspace Headbutt just this one time. Nitro wasn't entirely sure how to react when Eugene marked him as his 'territory.' It's too bad that the cameraman took the picture so early, because Eugene's double-flip Dragonrana was easily the most spectacular move I've seen in years. Coach wanted to get at Eugene and tear him apart, but unfortunately, he was struck with Pantomimitosis, a disease that suddenly makes people act like they're trapped inside glass boxes. I know Orton's green and all, but when the referees have to act out what he's supposed to do during the match, then maybe it's time to hold off that main event push for a while. Michaels wouldn't have been as upset by this if Orton weren't wearing cleats. The referee secretly begins a Vulcan Mind Meld with Orton to help him cope with the pain. The Michaels/Triple H feud was heated enough, but things finally reached the breaking point when Hunter brought that paintball gun to the ring. Compared to "The Game," "The Legend Killer," and especially "The Nature Boy," being hailed "The Disco King" just isn't quite as cool. HBK took particular offense when Orton accused him of foul play the day he helped Marty jump through that window. HBK couldn't believe he got Hunter to install a Glass Tire Swing! Michaels was in charge of bringing the furniture to the Evolution Mass Suicide. Unfortunately, he showed up a little late. HBK: I thought we'd told you never to come back here, you blond she-beast! HHH: Shawn, what the hell are you doing?! It's me! Hunter! HBK: You're not going to fool me this time, Nicole Bass! Michaels soon realized his mistake, and they held each other and cried for a long, long time. Last edited by Nowhere Man; 06-08-2004 at 06:44 PM. |
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06-08-2004, 06:03 PM
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#22 |
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Posts: 18,357
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LMAO! The Jannety reference was classic!
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06-08-2004, 06:22 PM
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#23 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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What you don't realize is that shirt is actually a hotel bed-sheet. Lita: Hey Gail, I can see down your shirt! Gail: Ewww...ewww..Oh God.. OR Today's botch is brought to you by the letter E. Yeah, we know, it looks like a U or V. We blame Lita. Batista: RAAAR DAVE ANGRY! DAVE SMASH! We call this the Evolution Orgy Party. Benoit: OH NO YOU DI-INT, GIRRRLFRIEND! *snaps fingers* Rock: So, you say you're over eighteen? Jericho: Don't drop me on my head, don't drop me on my head, don't drop me on my head... The ref took the wrong moment to assume Steph Ready Position. La Résistance: WE ARE THE NATION! Benoit: OH GOD, OH GOD, WRONG HOLE WRONG HOLE! Benoit: You sure this will work? Edge: Trust me, the beached whale is the most feared animal alive. Benoit didn't like them playing last night's party on the 'tron. However, I'm sure Hunter was having the time of his life. A little more than angered was Benoit when time started to slow around him. The only thing that could have been worse was the glass ceili--Nevermind. Kane: What the hell..is that a tag on your pants? Kane: What the hell, it's an instruction tag. Let's see- "Removing tag is a federal offense.." Eugene's way of waking the napping was not one that Nitro was too fond of. Unfortunately for Eugene, God's presence in the match sent him flying right out of the ring. The Eugene Special Delivery Service. Will deliver your pizza in two days or less, guarenteed. Ref: And I sucked a cock THIS wide.. Orton: STOP THAT! Worst. Ankle Lock. Ever. Ref: And then I got into the SRP, you know, the Steph Ready Positi-- Orton: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP THAT! HBK: Dammit, I wasn't supposed to blade myself until AFTER I got back in the ring. I don't think Batista realized it was a BAD thing to immitate Bradshaw. If only Dave knew the guy in the rainbow colored afro was checking out his ass. I guess Shawn didn't see that snare trap.. HBK: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED EVERYONE! IT'S LIKE A HOLOCAUST! DAVE, DAVE, SPEAK TO ME! Dave: ...huh..wha.. *HBK slams the chair onto Dave, sending him unconscience* HBK: DAVE, SPEAK TO ME! HBK: NOOGIE! SMILE! You're on Candid Camera! |
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06-08-2004, 06:25 PM
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#24 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Lucky turnbuckle... Leave it to Lita to botch an armbar Batista: NOW SMILE WHILE I WRITE MY NAME IN YOU! Orton: Excellent I get to take out Shelton before my match at Bad Blood, nothing will stop me now- Shelton: Dude theres a spider on your right arm! Orton: EEEWWW GET IT! GET IT! Edge: Dude did you hear Bret shot Vince in the cockpit a couple days ago? Benoit: hehehehe, dude you said pit Rock: So do you know I have a subscription to GEAR Magazine? Biel: ...shit Chris "Human Razor" Jericho starts the what others in his profession call: Mission Unshaveable. Where will you be when you're diaherria comes back? Benoit: Dude I think I got into RVD's stash again, I'm dreaming I'm in 1994 facing the Quebecers Slvian: Vient ici La Douleur! Benoit: LEGO MY EGGO! "Chris Benoit, faster than a speeding bullet, can leap glass ceilings in a single bound" Chris: Kane just stop while you're ahead... Kane: You put your right foot in ... you put your right foot out... Kane was exhausted after his match, all he wanted to do was eat No caption needed Even while he's retarded, Eugene is still too smart to go over there Orton: WHOA! HBK: Randy what's wrong?! Orton: Sorry I just caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror HBK: Yeah you are a fine male speciman Orton:  Orton: AH! SWEET IRONY! Shawn didn't believe Steph when she said she was on the rag... Batista: HEY YOU! GUY IN THE 23RD ROW! Guy: ME?! what? Batista: uh......YOU'RE A HOMO! Shawn: Take that! ... and THAT! Orton: Shawn stop I'm American! Shawn: oh ... my bad dude HHH: BRITNEY! HBK: CHRISTINA! |
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06-08-2004, 06:43 PM
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#25 |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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What's that? Egad! A comet is about to hit the Earth! Chris Benoit, AWAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!! |
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06-08-2004, 06:45 PM
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#26 |
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Guest
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Guess who's back. I'm gonna pull an AJ Styles here and return to my roots. (AJ went back full time to the X Division in TNA)
Raw's budget was pretty tight this week, so the "Raw Rulette" wheel was now set up on Stacy's ass. Worst jumprope preformance ever. Batista's usual pose when Vince needs some target practice. Evolution had finally caught the mysterious creature, but when Orton went to take a picture with his photo phone, he botched it by taking a picture of himslef. Benoit: Woah, slow down, I'm from where now? Edge: What, you didn't hear, you're now hailing from the land of Honalee. Rock: You didn't happen to see my newest movie did you? Girl: No Rock: Me neither. A-Train: Okay, Okay, Stop, Stop. Ref: You have to tap Train, remember? It's pretty sad when the World Tag Team Champions have to prove to there peers that they're actually the Champions. Edge: Wow, the Hardy Boys sure look different from the last time I saw them. Benoit: Adam, for the last time, this is 2004 and that's not the Hardy Boys. Edge: Oh...... holy sh**, Kane took his mask off. Benoit was pissed when the camer's cut to HHH and Shawn taking a piss right at the moment Benoit hit his diving headbutt. Benoit: Why are we fighting again? Kane: Cause I'm in love with Lita Benoit: Wait, What? JR: BAH GAWD, AUSTIN WITH A "STONE COLD" SLAUTE TO EUGENE!!!!!!! KING: Worst Bronko Buster ever. JR: MICHAELS WITH A FIGURE FOUR, SHADES OF HHH!!!!!! KING HBK: DAMMIT!!!!!! I CAN STILL SEE OUT OF MY LEFT EYE. Batista pointed out to the camera men the section of fans that weren't fully asleep yet. 11:03 PM last night. 6 months from now. Last edited by Loose Cannon; 06-08-2004 at 08:03 PM. |
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06-08-2004, 06:47 PM
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#27 | |
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Now. Here. Man.
Posts: 8,370
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06-08-2004, 08:41 PM
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#28 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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-orgasm-
Well, I’m doing these before reading them. Oh what a harlot, that Miss Keebler… Trying to tempt Rhyno with a peek at her behind for a free beer. Does she have no shame? Jake Roberts: Okay, I don’t do the moonsault, so please, Lita, don’t do a DDT. Freddie Blassie: Are you sure that’s not a neck breaker? Harley Race: Wait, no, it’s a botched suplex! Buff Bagwell: You’re all three wrong, it’s a Blockbuster! Curt Henning: She forgot to hook the leg for the Perfect-Plex. All: What is she doing… -if anyone can rip off this one, go for it- The ref knew he should of took the “do not disturb” sign in front of the ring a little more seriously. Walked in while Batista was trying to make love to Shelton’s shoulder… Shame on the ref! Poor Shelton… Ric and Dave forced him to watch Randy Orton out the heart of Steven Richards… Benoit was a little taken aback when Edge asked him to go on a private retreat to Massachusetts. And now we resume “Tag Team Jeopardy,” already in progress. The Rock: We’ll take Pro Wrestling for a thousand, Alex. Alex: This man a third generation wrestler who was once leader of the stable “The Nation of Domination.” Chick: Hmmm… that’s a hard one… There are no third generation wrestlers who led The Nation of Domination… Can I get a hint? Alex: Okay… just once… He isn’t a full time wrestler, and his appearances at PPVs are always hyped… The Rock: OH! I know this one! Who is Pete Rose! After 15 minutes Albert could just hear Ric Flair laugh. Carry Jericho through the match…… And then let Jericho put him over… Oh that Ric! Chris Benoit was faced with a hard task tonight… but it was worth it… All he had to do was find who stole Sylvain’s and Rob’s pants, and he could have the titles. With the sun coming through the cracks in the roof Benoit knew that La Resistance figured out he really was a vampire. Edge *singing*: When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, then you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong… Benoit: I TAP! I TAP! I TAP! JUST STOP SINGING!!! -reps to the first person to say what song it is, or who sang it, or both- You’d be upset too if when you finally got to the ticket window the person told you “I’m sorry, Harry Potter is currently sold out.” Triple H loved his new Mid Air Invisible Crucifix. Kane: You know I’m a physically dominating wrestler, so at Bad Blood, you are so lucky I’m stuck in this Lita story line. Benoit: You know I can whip your ass in a shoot fight all the same. Kane: Macho Man Randy Savage: Okay, I don’t do the choke slam, you don’t do the flying elbow. Sean O’Haire: Listen, no one cares about you anymore! If you would of watched Raw you’d know it was a choke slam and then a pin. Besides that joke was already done in this set of captions! You’re washed up and you can’t rap. You still believe that this industry was founded on legit competition, your little “feud” with Hulk Hogan is the most sophomoric thing in this industry since Ric Flair telling Mark Henry that he’s too fat to fly on a plane and your voice is annoying. Macho Man Randy Savage: You’re not telling me anything I don’t all ready knooooow… Oh yeahhhhh, Dig it! Last edited by FourFifty; 06-08-2004 at 09:08 PM. |
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06-08-2004, 08:45 PM
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#29 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Vince McMahon’s artistic remediation of the final few days with Raw VS Nitro. Nick uses his invisible jet back to escape the retard gimmick. Eugene: Oh No! The Coach is going to get me! William: Don’t worry my dear boy. The Coach won’t go near you. Coach: The hell I won’t! Eugene: He’s not my friend… he wants to beat me up. Coach: You take one more step near me and I’ll whip your ass! William: No, you won’t, Mr. Coachman. In fact, you can’t. Rhyno was mopping there. Coach: Damn it! Randy: I don’t know enough about the wrestling business, do I? Huh, come on and test me! HBK: What was Triple H’s first gimmick in the WWF? Randy: Ha! That’s a trick question! It’s the WWE! It’s never been the WWF! HBK:    rookie…HBK: Okay, round two! Who originally used this move? Randy: Oh that’s easy! The Nature Boy! HBK: Which Nature Boy? Randy: OMG! You mean there are Ric Flair clones out there!?!?!? When Bronco Busters go wrong… HBK seriously takes a moment to question his faith when the stigmata sets in… Dave: Hey! Look! It’s someone in a cage who backstage politics holds back! Sean:…………damn you………… Randy knows he is going to lose the match when Shawn and Batista metamorphose into one being… Shawntista! Vince: Oh come on! You can’t do anything in the ring, so I ask you to help out backstage, and you botched HBK’s invisible mid are crucifix! Can’t you do anything without screwing up? Lita: I’s morry! Please don’t mire fe! I’ll be someone beat me to the invisible Steven Richards having anal sex with HBK joke. HHH: No! It’s my turn to win! HBK: Nuh-uh! It’s my turn! HHH: No it’s not! HBK: Yes it is! HHH: I’ll tell Vince on you! HBK: Nuh-uh! I’m telling on you! Looking at the seating in front of the sky box, this feud has seen better days. JBL: Now wait a darn second! I flash one little hotty-totty-nazi sign, and CNBC fired me and the WWE makes me apologize, but Dave can do it? Why? Triple H: He’s a good snuggler. Last edited by FourFifty; 06-08-2004 at 09:11 PM. |
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06-08-2004, 09:03 PM
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#30 | |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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Quote:
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06-08-2004, 09:08 PM
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#31 | |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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Quote:
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06-08-2004, 11:02 PM
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#32 |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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My first attempt at Raw or Smackdown captions:
Stacy: What the hell? I'm wearing a really skanky dress, I'm not wearing any underwear, and lots of horny males are looking at me. These prom flashbacks are starting to annoy me! Gail & Lita: Be like The Rock! Be like The Rock! Now the answer to the long pondered question "What happens when The Hulk has an orgasm?". Randy: I know that we are only supposed to do this in the locker room, but your bulging manhood is too much to resist! *grabs a handful* Dave: Take me now! Chris: Wait a minute... so the gimp guy was Keyzer Soze? Edge: Yeah I know, like, a TOTAL plot twist! (Rep for the movie that they are talking about) Rock: Hey honey, if I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? Jessica: Like I haven't heard that one before. Jericho: God A-Train, when are you going to shave your back? A-Train: When your wife finally shaves her crotch. Jericho:  A-Train: Okay, okay, sorry!!! It was a joke! *Jericho lets go* A-Train: Gotcha! And your wife's a real moaner too! Jericho:  :foc: Benoit: Damn that King Slender, I need that VWA title if it takes a thousand resets! The censors in Quebec tried covering up the hardcore WWE programming with their flag, but they were a bit off. Elrond: Aragorn, get up quickly! The battle for Middle Earth must be fought! Aragorn: 5 more minutes please! (doesn't Edge look like him in that pic?) Benoit: I SAID 5 MORE MINUTES!!! *slashes Elrond's head off* The crappy WWE live Peter Pan production did not enjoy rave reviews, to say the least. Kane: OWWWWW!!!! FUCK THIS HURTS!!! I PULLED A PSYCHO SID!!!  Wolverines are often prey in the forests of the Northeastern Woodland. Here, a giant red-backed Jobber is shown enjoying its hard-fought battle. Eugene: Dude, you said ANY hole! Nitro: Man, i'm still new at this! Please no! Eugene: Give me one good reason why I should stop. Nitro: I give worse blowjobs than Lita. Eugene: Damnit! Okay, you got me. Cable had to get through the timewarp quickly because a horde of Sentinels was pursuing him, and not even Longshot could stop him. Announcer: And now, our newest lingerie model, Enrique Suave. Cameraman: Oh yes, brilliant! Smile for the camera darling. BEAUUUUUTIFUL! Manager: He's a natural! The referee tries to distract Orton by giving him harmonica lessons, but this only make him strangle harder. *Orton brutally beats the sneaking Hamburglar* Children: Stop, stop, he's already dead! Ref: Yeah, the whole internet community thinks you're green, you lack mic skills, and you need a star group to get you cheap heat. I still think you're dreamy though. Orton: *swoon*  Shawn: Crap! I have to remember next time to turn the knob first, then pull! Batista: There's my cousin Rocco, I haven't seen him in 15 years. I wonder if he knows what a star i've become in the WWE. Wait, why's he running? Rocco, I'm over here! Don't you want to be cool and show all your friends that you know a great wrestler like me? Come back! Michaels was a man possessed when someone teased him about his receding hairline. Michaels' Wrestlemania 12 entrance was best left for special occasions, and has more of an effect if its not done during an earlier match. HBK didn't know his own strength anymore. He felt like all he had to do was tap someone with a chair, and they get knocked out instantly! The battle of the cake mixer hands was underway, with Michaels quickly going for Hunter's face. HBK: I don't know Hunter. We've been to better hotels than this, the mood just doesn't seem right. And this cameraman keeps touching my ass. HHH: Shawn, you've always come up with excuses lately! First headaches, then you're too tired, and now this! I have needs, you know! |
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06-08-2004, 11:59 PM
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#33 |
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my other rides your mom
Posts: 6,346
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"who put the dead horse in the ring" Batista attempts JBL's Best Nazi Impression |
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06-09-2004, 12:07 AM
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#34 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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ENCORES = COMPARISONS... I just missed doing this so much, I'm doing it again.
Worst. RKO. Ever It becomes sad when you have to sell REALLY bad looking chair-shots from old man Shawn and make it look painful even if he can't pick it up from his midsection. HBK: ooh, my BACK! Benoit: DAMN YOU, KAL-EL!! :flies into crystal prison and floats away for eternity: The Evil Ref.,Nitro,and God proved to be a strong force,knocking Eugene out of the arena. HHH in the back,looking on,thinking "this God fellow is going down fast than..that woman I married to get here." |
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06-09-2004, 02:26 AM
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#35 |
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Posts: 18,357
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LMAO at the Hulk Orgasm one!
That's CotM nominee!
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06-09-2004, 03:08 AM
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#36 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Due to a threat on my life… More Captions!
Everyone thought Batista was either pretty gutsy or just crazy when he told God himself to pull his finger. Benoit: WHAT! You mean they’re gay? All Five?!?!? EVEN TED!?!?! I thought “Queer” just meant weird!!!! This match would have been a great ladder match except for the fact that they didn’t have talent, credibility, heat, hype, working gimmicks, the ability not to botch, and last and least, a ladder. Now we all know that the HBK/HHH feud has been drawn out, but did some fan in the front row really need to throw his kool-aid at HBK? And did HBK REALLY need to sell it? Within this photograph sleeps an unprecedented amount of depth. This is how upper class society who has connections believes the truly deserving and hard working people all over the world should be treated with such desecration, and shame… or how Triple H pisses on the rest of the roster. Batista *singing*: Q, R, S, T, U…. damn this song is long… W, X, Y & Z! |
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06-09-2004, 03:19 AM
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#37 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
If I don't see one of these captions on the CoTM thread, I'm starting my own CoTM thread.     
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06-09-2004, 03:23 AM
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#38 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Chris: Wait a second Kane... You're in two story lines at once? In your Matt/Lita story line you were told to get Lita over as a decent persona, and last week you told her she was over. Kane: I lied! 'k, that sucked... would have worked better with a pic of Kane and Lita... |
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06-09-2004, 09:22 AM
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#39 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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Usual Suspects Mayo, that was a bit too easy. Now where's my rep?
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06-09-2004, 12:05 PM
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#40 |
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Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Someone forgot to tell A-Train that you do NOT sell the Walls of Jericho by licking the mat... |
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Linear Mode
