WWE Wrestlers Trip to the Zoo.

Okay, I just thought this up literally 5 minutes ago. I've been thinking of something to write for Triple A for the columns. I was going to submit a top ten colum, but I thought to myself that I don't really enjoy writing those, I only really enjoy writing comedy. SO here we are. Okay, I just want to test the waters with this and see the reaction. What I'm going to do is take a bunch of wrestlers and put them into situations that has nothing to do with wrestling. (today we're at the zoo) If you guys like it, I'll write more in the future. I'm sending this to Trips anyway. Ok today's players are:

Bradshaw, Flair, Randy Orton, HHH, Benoit, JR, Chavo Classic, and Jericho.

OK, here goes nothing.


***WWE Wrestlers have just arrived in the Bronx New York and a few wrestlers had decided to venture off to the "Bronx Zoo" that afternoon. Vince okayed the idea and appointed JR to go with them and make sure the wrestlers don't get into trouble. A bus arrives at some hotel and Ric Flair, Triple H, Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Chavo Classic, BRADSHAW AND JR board the bus and venture off to the zoo.


Orton: Hey JR, you think I could drive the bus?

JR: Well ok, just be careful.

**Orton gets into the driver's seat.

Orton: Wow, cool, I've never driven a bus before. Here we go........


****Orton doesn't see it's in reverse and when he steps on the gas he hits Taker's rental car.


Orton: Oh sh**, NOT AGAIN!!!!!!! What did I hit?


Jericho(in the back of the bus) You hit Undertaker's car man.


**Orton pulls out his notepad and pen.


Orton: Well that's another LEGEND Killed.


**Orton puts a check mark next to Undertaker's name.


Jericho: wtf?????????


JR: OKay Randy, enough. Jericho get up here and drive the bus.


Jericho: Jim, I have a fear of driving.


JR: BAH GAWD JERICHO, DRIVE THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!


**Jericho walks to the driver's seat with a dismayed look on is face.


HHH: Hey Jericho, look my foot is crossing the yellow line, what you gonna do about it?


**HHH and Bradshaw both laugh and smack high five.


Benoit


JR: Hey Crippler, can you move to where Jericho was sitting, we need someone back there to make sure................


Benoit: To make sure.............


JR: HUH, Stop Complaining Champ, just move.


Flair: Benoit is a Champ? Of What?


HHH: Well he's the World Champion, but see, nobody even knows anymore, not even the fans

Bradshaw: Wait, Wait, Everyone's about as much aware as the Jews during the 40's

***HHH and BRADSHAW


Jericho: (under breath) assholes.


****WRESTLERS ARIVE AT THE ZOO and get off the bus.


***Kids recognize and appraoch the wrestlers.


Kid 1: Hey, Mr. Flair, can I have your autograph?


Flair: Sure son.


KID 1: You're one of the greatest HEELS of all-time.


****Flair looks straight into kids eyes and starts spazzing out Ric Flair_style.


Flair: WOOOOOOOOOOOO, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY KID? Did you just use that word. Listen son, that word is sacred and you're not aloud to use it EVER.


Kid 1: What word, AUTOGRAPH?


Flair: Listen, you've never worked for my business kid, so you don't know nothing about us.


Kid 1: Sure I do, I know Bradshaw only had a great match at the PPV because Eddie carried him. Well that's what my friends told me.


BRADSHAW: Tell me son, do these friends happen to use the "Internet." I bet they all sit at home eating yodels and drinking HI-C while in chat rooms discussing my life and my matches 24/7 right?


KID 1: No, they're actually kids on my basketball team, who go to school and work and are all wrestling fans. You see, when you suck so bad, for so long, and still continue sucking, it's kind of hard to accept a guy. That's what they say also.


Jericho and Benoit


HHH, Flair, BRADSHAW, JR


Classic


****The kid walks away and Bradshaw screams "FAG" at him not realizing it's "Gay Pride" day at the zoo.


Bradshaw


People at zoo


Bradshaw: WHAT?


***Orton didn't hear the conversation because he's online for "Feeding the Gorillas"


Orton: Hey guys, watch me feed the gorillas.


***Orton, oblivious to the "Don't Climb over railing" sign, hops the rail and enters the Gorilla cage with the food in his hand.


Orton to the "Boys"


The Boys:


*****Orton walks right up to the biggest Goriila in the cage and sticks out his hand with the food in it.


***Gorilla takes one look at Orton and punches him straight in the jaw.


***Orton shakes the blow off and goes for the RKO, but completely botches it and falls 5 feet down into a pool of water.


**Orton gets out of the water and figures he can get back up by using a danglng electrical wire, which he mistakes for a rope.


**Orton, soaking wet, grabs the wire and feels about 10,000 jotls of electricity go through his body. This causes a power outage in the "Jungle" section of the zoo.


Gorillas


Parents and kids


Jericho and Benoit:


***HHH and Flair help Orton out and Orton goes to the medical center to seek help. The wresltlers continue on.


JR: Hey, has anyone seen where Chavo Classic ran off too.


**The boys shake their heads.


JR: Well, forget it, we'll find him later.


HHH: Hey Y2J and ummmmm..... yeah, Champ, that's it... can you two go over to the snack bar and get us some food and drinks. We're pretty hungry and thirsty.


Benoit: Why don't you get it yourself, the snackbar is right behind you, you're practically on line.


**HHH moves 10 feet to his left.


HHH: Yeah, you two are the closest, so just wait on line. Thanks. Also, remember who's scripting your pushes okay.

Benoit and Jericho: (whispering) What pushes??????


JR: BAHGAWDTHATHIPPOJUSTSCREWEDTHATELEPHANTOUTOFAPEANUT.
DAMHIMDAMMITSTARIGHTTOHELLTHATSONOFABICTH
NONONONONOTAGAINPLEASENODAMMITSOMEONEGETHELPFORGOD'SSAKE.


Crowd : :


JR: BAHGAWDTHATPENGUINJUST.................


HHH: Jim, cool it. This ain't Raw, you don't have to do that now.


JR: ?????????


***Benoit and Jericho come back with the food after about 55 minutes of waiting on line.


HHH: A little quicker next time boys, I was had to take a sip of my ***HHH looks staright into the camera** YJ STINGER, to hold me off.


Bradshaw: Where's Ric now?


Jericho and Benoit: I haven't seen him.


JR: BAHGAWDRICFALIR...............


HHH: CHRIST, STOP ROSS. I think he needs a new battery guys, Champ, go see if you can find some.


***Benoit finds some batteries after looking around for twenty five minutes as the others enjouy ice cream, except Jericho, who was holding everyone else's drink.


****Benoit puts two new batteries in JR and they set off to find Flair.


HHH: You ok Jim?


Jim: Yeah, I'm fine.......Hey look, there's Ric.


****JR points to Ric Flair who's running around naked iin "Reptile Palace" gesturing at the women and reptiles.


RIC: WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOO, W-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O, WHO WANTS TO TAKE A RIDE ON SPACE MOUNTAIN BABY? COME ON HUNNEY, I KNOW SLICK RIC CAN SHOW YOU A GRAND OL TIME. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


JR: Has Ric been drinking again?


HHH and Bradshaw


Benoit: I guess so.


**Flair walks over to "Big Birtha," a giant anaconda.


FLAIR: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, COME ON BABY, YOU KNOW YOU WANT SOME OF THE NATURE BOY. WOOOOO WOOOOOO WOOOOOO.


JR: Someone go get him.


**HHH LOOKS AT the two Chris's.


**Benoit goes to get Flair and brings him to the medical office where Orton still is.



JR: Well guys, it's getting late, you have anything else you want to do today.


HHH: Yeah Jim, I think it's TIME TO PLAY THE GAME.

***OUT of nowhere HHH's music hits, which totally confuses everyone in the zoo, and HHH walks right into a Lion's den, which only has one Lion in it.


***HHH signals he's going to get the best of the Lion.


***HHH and the Lion sqaure off and the Lion beats the living sh** out of HHH. Just as the Lion goes for the kill a kid accidently drops a smoke bomb, which blinds the entire crowd from seeing what's happening.


**Benoit and Jericho see what's happening though and go to rescue HHH.


***Jericho nails the Lion with a running kick and Benoit hits the diving headbut on the Lion.


***HHH then gets up as the smoke clears.


**Crowd never saw Benoit and Jericho help.

***HHH stands up, poses to the crowd, picks up the Lion AND HITS A PEDIGREE on the Lion.


***HHH poses again for the fans and makes Benoit count the three.


***HHH music again hits out of nowhere and the crowd cheers.


JR: (suddenly has a microphone) What a show of heart folks, THE GAME has done it yet again.


Benoit and Jericho


JR: Okay guys, let's go get Orton and Flair and get out of here.


Jericho: What about Chavo Classic

JR: WHO?


Bradshaw and HHH


****The gang gets Orton and Flair and leaves the zoo.


****On the way back to the bus, Orton tries to drink and walk at the same time, but botches it and spills his drink all over his pants, looking like he just wet himself.


***Superstars Board the Bus and Leave the ZOO.




Meanwhile.............Some five hours later.


****Chavo Classic is locked inside a Porter Potty.

Classic (screaming) HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FK YOU TRIPLE H, FK YOU.


**Back at a house show in NY.

Vince: Hey, where's Chavo Classic.


JR: WHO?


Vince: You know, our crusierweight champion.


JR: OH that guy. Well he came to the zoo with us and just ran off and never came back.


Vince: That's pretty unprofessional of him.


JR; Should I fire him?


Vince: Yeah he's gone.


Triple H (under Vince's desk)


JR: Just another day in the WWE, huh Vince?


Vince: You bet Jim, you bet.



THE END

[Goldbird]

lol brilliant stuff LC. More to come i hope

[Mike the Metal Ed]

Originally Posted by Goldbird lol brilliant stuff LC. More to come i hope

[Wildcat789]

LOL, THIS IS GOLD! Send this to Triple A right away. If all your stuff can be as funny as this, then you definately have a shot.

LOL at JBL calling the kid a fag.

[loopydate]

Fucking priceless, dude.

I can't wait to see what horrors will befall Lita...

[Xero]

LMAO! I love the part explaining why Chavo missed the house show But the whole Flair thing had me laughing and laughing

[Evil Vito]

LMAO

MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gone Mad]

LMAO.. funny stuff,esp. anytime where HHH's song just appears out of no where and anything to do with Flair, JBL, and JR. Yes,there needs to be more!

[PoisonIvy]

I love you so much, LC.

^^you changed it

[PoisonIvy]

I fixed it, you bastard.

[PoisonIvy]

I don't look at sigs.

let's delete our posts and pretend it never happend.

[DaveWadding]

What, did they need a new A-Train?

You should drop whatever the hell you're doing with your life and create more of these. Because they are

[Back Stabbed]

Slapstick humour always works for me.

[Tornado]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon ***Orton shakes the blow off and goes for the RKO, but completely botches it and falls 5 feet down into a pool of water.

LOL

Goofd Stuff LC, if it doesn't make it to the front page, make sure you keep posting them in here..

[The Duck]

That was really good mate, definitely send that in.

Fingers crossed you get a column!

[HankScorpio]

Hilarious, great stuff. I shouldn't read these at work, I've been laughing so hard my co-workers think I'm on drugs

^

[Dazz]

LOL some funny shit right thurr.

At first when I saw how long it was I thought it looked abit long, but it really wasn't, well worth reading, good imaginiation too . One critisizm is that Jericho didn't do the lionsault

[Dazz]

JR: Hey, has anyone seen where Chavo Classic ran off two.

should be 'to' at the end.

Originally Posted by Dazz JR: Hey, has anyone seen where Chavo Classic ran off two. should be 'to' at the end.

lol, thanks, Really fk'ed that up. Thanks to everyone for the kindness. I guess I'll keep writing more as it only took me about 1hr and a half. I got an idea for the next one. It might be WWE WRESTLERS WORKING IN A SOUP KITCHEN FOR A DAY.l

^ Now to think of that, you're right.

^ Hey LC include me in the writing too!

[/desperation]

*Cheap post*

BTW LC, just asking...

Loose Cannon's public profile
---------------------------
Birthday:
May 15, 1905

Location:
New Rochelle, New York

Sex:
Male
-------------------------------
I don't think I believe your birth year is 1905... if true, you would be 99 this year!

So... the truth?

Nah, it's 1983

I almost thought that genius who wrote that skit was a great-granddaddy there...

Whew.

[Raising Kane]

Great job LC... although I wouldn't have minded if the lion actually ate HHH.

[ColdwaVer]

Great stuff.

Suggestions for future installments:

WWE goes skiing
WWE goes to a waterpark
WWE goes to Chuck E Cheese

Eitehr way, keep up the funny shit.

Originally Posted by ColdwaVer Great stuff. Suggestions for future installments: WWE goes skiing WWE goes to a waterpark WWE goes to Chuck E Cheese Eitehr way, keep up the funny shit.

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm really liking the waterpark one.

[big_bluto]

WWE INVADES TPWW.net!!!!!!!!!!

Please someone write that one!

[Corkscrewed]

Funny, though I thought you relied a little too much on the same running gags. The Chavo part and the HHH vs Lion part was pretty hilarious, but the rest was just funny, not "LMAO" funny. Sorry if my enthusiasm isn't as as some of these other people.

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Funny, though I thought you relied a little too much on the same running gags. The Chavo part and the HHH vs Lion part was pretty hilarious, but the rest was just funny, not "LMAO" funny. Sorry if my enthusiasm isn't as as some of these other people.

Nah, that's ok. I've learned that you and I have two different extremes of comedy. I'm more of a slapstick/Adam Sandler/Ben Stiller type of person who will laugh at the same kind of joke no matter how many times I've seen it. Just like an Adam Sandler movie.

You are more of a Monty Python/Who's Line is it Anyway type of person where you like to see a more of a variety of bits and little slapstick. or something like that

Like I can't see you laughing at Chris Farley going through a table for the 50th time, while I would.

Am I right or am I just completely wrong.

[big_bluto]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Funny, though I thought you relied a little too much on the same running gags. The Chavo part and the HHH vs Lion part was pretty hilarious, but the rest was just funny, not "LMAO" funny. Sorry if my enthusiasm isn't as as some of these other people. Nah, that's ok. I've learned that you and I have two different extremes of comedy. I'm more of a slapstick/Adam Sandler/Ben Stiller type of person who will laugh at the same kind of joke no matter how many times I've seen it. Just like an Adam Sandler movie. You are more of a Monty Python/Who's Line is it Anyway type of person where you like to see a more of a variety of bits and little slapstick. or something like that Like I can't see you laughing at Chris Farley going through a table for the 50th time, while I would. Am I right or am I just completely wrong.

I get where you guys are coming from on this one.

Personally I thought that the article was pretty well written, and there was some brilliant gags in it, but overall it was good.
However I didn't have as high an opinion of it as some of the people above, and as a result I thought 2 different things:
either they thought you were really funny or they were kissing your ass.

Anyway, different strokes for different folks.
Hopefully, thats the reason why Corky never finds my captions funny,


Good article though, but a rep coming your way for the creativity! That was solid!

[Corkscrewed]

Originally Posted by big_bluto Anyway, different strokes for different folks. Hopefully, thats the reason why Corky never finds my captions funny,

Not never, just not as often as you'd hope.

[big_bluto]

Originally Posted by Corkscrewed Not never, just not as often as you'd hope.

I think that would worry me, but I just find it a lot of fun doing the captions on their own, and reading what other people have put for the same pics.

It's very rare, in fact I don't think it's ever happened when I've went into a captions thread and lot LMAO at something from everybody.

It's a real pity Alan Partridge jokes don't work on here!

[big_bluto]

LC!

I thought you had the TLK Avatar....

You get kicked off the team, or did you quit?
(Or have I got it wrong?)

Originally Posted by big_bluto LC! I thought you had the TLK Avatar.... You get kicked off the team, or did you quit? (Or have I got it wrong?)

Nah, the game is over, so I wanted my Yankee avatar back. I still have the sig though.