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06-22-2004, 01:22 PM
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#1 |
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The Classic Dylan Staples
Posts: 51,455
  
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Raw Caption 6/21
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06-22-2004, 01:28 PM
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#2 |
Posts: 18,357
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He'd knocked out Giant Eugene and Giant Benoit, but Hunter knew with dismay that this was only getting started when Godzilla and King Kong entered the arena. |
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06-22-2004, 01:33 PM
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#3 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Hunter realized that somehow, Flair was holding he left arm and he was holding the right arm... |
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06-22-2004, 03:30 PM
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#4 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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HHH,still shocked at the news of the father of Lita's baby. |
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06-22-2004, 03:35 PM
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#5 |
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#BUCTOBER
Posts: 6,461
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Flair to himself: I can't believe I'm still being forced to make these guys look good... |
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06-22-2004, 03:48 PM
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#6 |
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Posts: 270
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Evoultion celebrated as Triple H tried to remeber if he set the VCR to record his beating up of a mentally challenged person  In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester Treat me like a God, oh they treat me like a leper - Atmosphere |
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06-22-2004, 04:07 PM
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#7 |
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TPWW's HHH Mark Since '04
Posts: 29,886
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HHH: Whoa... I have been an asshole for the past 2 and half years... Flair: I'm not telling you anything you don't already know..... |
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06-22-2004, 05:55 PM
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#8 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Hold your hands up if you could be the father of Lita's baby. |
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06-22-2004, 06:46 PM
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#9 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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06-22-2004, 06:52 PM
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#10 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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Ref's wife: and to think of all the food we've wasted around here... *flash back* Ref: come on Regal...down the hatch...no Kane...not for you...you've had yours...bad Kane. |
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06-22-2004, 07:06 PM
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#11 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Rock (looking at O'Haire's cage): Who in the WCW hell are you? O'Haire: I'm not telling you a-- Rock: It doesn't matter what your name is! O'haire: ...I already KNEW that. Kane couldn't take a minute more of Regal's rendition of the theme to Popeye. Victoria asks the crowd why no one likes her dancing intro and to name at least one good thing about it. The ref is looking at both of them. Matt: Lita..will you lower my crediability? Lita: Absolutely. HHH: It's OK,Cornelious..You can cry. Eugene (muffled):We are men. Men is what we are. Oooh,he shouldn't have pissed off the Bride! RKO: Why are you more popular than me?! Edge: I've been asking the same thing myself.. Edge: How dare you,you bastard! How-- HEY,Will and Grace is on! |
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06-22-2004, 07:35 PM
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#12 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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As always, I didn’t read the captions before I made mine. “Hey Sean! It’s been a while! How are y… Where the hell is Sean?” Rock: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!! Orton: I didn’t say my name. Rock: Insert a homosexual reference here, STRIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS! Security Guy: Hey! You’re that guy from walking tall! How was that movie? Rock: I dunno. Edge: Holy crap! Randy! You okay? Randy: -gasp- he… he… he –cough- cut a promo… Edge: What did he say? Randy: he said… I suck… that –wheeze- I’m only over… -cough- because of Mick –wheeze- Foley…. Said I’m not a….. credible IC cham-gasp-pion… Edge: Anything else? Randy: He didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know… Trish: Hey Victoria, I’m cold… Why don’t you warm me up? Victoria: Sorry Trish, ever since I lost the hot psycho gimmick I’ve also lost my heat. And now we bring you “Stand up Comedy with Trish,” Already in progress. Trish: yes, I am indeed a credible wrestler. Victoria:  !!!!Rhyno took his glue to the extreme when he glued Victoria’s knees to the glass ceiling. Yes, the ref knew Trish had the middle rope, but he didn’t care. He just got his own personal cleavage shot! “Bloody hell! He wasn’t kidding when he said this new cinnamon gum would have a kick!” Regal: And that, sunshine, is why Mr. McMahon has pushed JBL!!! Kane: No! No! No! I don’t wanna hear it! Stop! It makes no sense! Kane was far from impressed with the ref’s variation of “Stop In The Name Of Love” Batista: You’re a homo! Jericho: That joke only works when the people can see you point… Sean O’Haire claims another victim. Two seconds away from a powerbomb, there was only one person that Edge could turn to for help… but alas, Kirk made a dramatic heel turn by just watching Edge get powerbombed. JR: BAHGAWD! HE’S LITTERALLY BLEEDING BBQ SAUCE!!! |
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06-22-2004, 07:36 PM
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#13 |
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Posts: 14,008
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"Benoit, is that you?" You know when you've been tangoed. Rock didn't mind being ejected from the building, but ejected by Mene Gen Okerlund? That's just insulting. Amy shook her head in shame and wished that Matt could have been more subtle about stealing Vinces super sour balls. |
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06-22-2004, 07:36 PM
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#14 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Orton: Now give me your secret of being over! Edge: I’m Canadian. Orton: So is Test! Edge: Touché. Matt: You were in ECW, weren’t you? Lita: Don’t pigeon hone me. Yes I was in ECW, yes I was the former WWE woman’s champion, yes I “dated” Shane McMahon. Matt: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh yeah! Lita: What are you doing? Matt: Oh, I’m sneakin’ a peak at your muguppies. It’s my stumbling attempt at intimacy. reps for the rerfence “When it comes crashin’ down and it hurts inside! Dun dun dun du nu nu nu! You gotta take a stand it don’t help to hide!!! Dun dun dun du… what do ya mean the camera is on?” She meant to kiss Matt’s little boo-boo on his finger tip. She ended up biting it off. When breast feeding goes horribly wrong. JR: BAHGAWD! SEANOHAIREWITHTHEBBQSAUCECARNAGENOTTELLINGYOUANYTHINGSTUNNERNOSELLONPOOREUGENE! Eugene shocks the world with his heel turn as he calls everyone in the area a homo. *moments ago* Chris: Hey Trips, why does your car say “King Dork?” HHH: Uhhhh…. I bought it from King Dorkinheizer in Finland. Chris: I thought Finland was a constitutional democracy. HHH:  Orton: Wow, you’ve got a bad case of ring rust on you, Rocky. Can’t even do a shadow puppet. |
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06-22-2004, 08:02 PM
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#15 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
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06-22-2004, 08:05 PM
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#16 |
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Only Sane Person Here
Posts: 17,983
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Then Matt realized. They hadn't had sex yet! That was the last time Benoit and Eugene would play musical chairs with Triple H. No Kane! This one's still alive! Zip your pants back up! Last edited by Vega; 06-22-2004 at 08:20 PM. |
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06-22-2004, 08:05 PM
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#17 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Lita will you botch my marrige? |
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06-22-2004, 08:48 PM
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#18 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Agh... I'm off today so I'll just do a few:
Edge: "Randy! What happened? Speak to me!!!" Orton: "Ohhhhh... my stomach..." Edge: "I told you not to eat the cream filling!!!" While Victoria was busy posing, Trish cleverly flicked her ankle rocket boosters on, sending her flying through the roof and giving the victory to Trish by countout. Victoria entertains Trish by doing her Slutty Stephanie impression. Trish puts male wrestlers everywhere to shame by kicking out so hard Victoria actually flips Trish sets up Victoria perfectly for Sean O'Haire's Golden Enema. Everyone agreed it was sweet of Tazz to want to do something special to welcome Regal back to the active roster, but unleashing his battle aura wasn't what most had in mind. Faced with certain doom, Regal had to resort to the one thing that might save him and Kane's only weakness: The Chicken Dance. Ref: "Dammit, I told you this wasn't the droid you're looking for!!!" [insert Batista waiting Edge's ass for a hat joke here] OR Edge grinned. This Triple H lookalike thing really did have its advantages. Edge did not appreciate the Evolution Paintballing Session. "Lets look in the British Book of Smiles!" Around now, Matt started feeling the consequences of not brushing like Mr. Yankem had told him to. This was digusting. I mean, pretending to be his friend was bad enough, but did Triple H really have to convince Eugene that he was Barney? Eugene, moments before he's sucked into the Golden Box. No seriously... WORM!!!! Benoit and Eugene had exhausted themselves trying to figure out how to open Rhyno's EZ-Fold Chair, so now it was Hunter's turn. Bah, I still sucked. Bad pics. That's what they were...
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06-22-2004, 09:01 PM
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#19 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Matt: "I'm shocked! You managed NOT to botch sex??" Randy: "For the last time, if you can dodge a damn wrench, you can dodge a fuckin ball!!!!" |
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06-22-2004, 09:26 PM
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#20 | |
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The Classic Dylan Staples
Posts: 51,455
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Quote:
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06-22-2004, 09:36 PM
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#21 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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The part of Roy Jones Jr. will be played by William Regal |
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06-22-2004, 09:56 PM
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#22 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Lita:  or ChristianMatt: So I got a 1 in 3 shot? Lita: well the was Hurricane also... Matt: Let me guess Tyson Tomco too? Lita: No we botched it and ended a-NOT FUNNY Matt: So who else could be the father? Lita: Well there is... Dino Bravo, Saba Simba, Paul Roma, Bret Hart, Butch, Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, Texas Tornado, Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka, The Undertaker, Animal, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Smash, Greg Valentine, and the state of North Dakota |
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06-22-2004, 10:11 PM
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#23 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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The arena was gripped in a deafening silence as the Rock suddenly forgot his own catchphrases. Rock: "Let me ask you this, Orton: Where the hell are the Rock's $500 shirts?" The Rock would have stayed longer, but it was League Night, and his bowling team wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Victoria is nice enough to give one lucky fan a kiss, but when they start grasping for locks of her hair, they've gone TOO FAR. He tries his best to hide it, but William Regal just not have the stomach for spicy Indian food. Arrived at ring. Accidentally stepped in path of oncoming marathon. Kane have bad day. The Ref warns cans that HE has dibs on the jacket. In the most hilarious segment of the evening, Randy moves Edge's mouth and uses a funny voice to make him say, "I love men." Randy: "Edge, I love you. You're like a brother to me. But don't take sides against the family. Ever." Lita knew she should have known better, but Matt's "Walking down the stairs" impression always brought a smile to her face. Lita: "I'm sorry to be the one breaking this to you but ... I've been the one putting presents under the tree at Christmas. There is no Santa Claus." |
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06-22-2004, 11:26 PM
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#24 |
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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Rock: Who in the blue hell is Manaldo??? Rock: I'm Dwayne Johnson, BITCH! Security: Show us where you saw the escaped prisoner hiding. Rock: Okay follow me... O'Haire's not really dangerous, right? Orton: *rolls on the floor in pain* Try spearing me in the stomach next time! The ref has no idea what has become of Victoria after she tries to set off the pyro ala Kane. Trish always liked to watch. Victoria was really enjoying this pleasure from Steven Richards. Victoria shows Molly how to put some zing in her backflips. The ref finally shoots himself in the head after watching another women's match. Regal: They still haven't found that O'Haire? This siren is getting bloody annoying! Regal's Flair Strut wasn't as great as he bragged about to the boys in the back. Ref: Inigo Montoya, I'm sorry to tell you that your father is dead. Kane: Where is the six fingered man??? Jericho turned his head in disgust when he saw what the ref's 'foreign object' was in his hand. More to come tomorrow. |
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06-22-2004, 11:43 PM
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#25 |
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#BUCTOBER
Posts: 6,461
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Martin Sheen stared in horror at the screen as visions of Pete Rose flashed before his eyes. |
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06-22-2004, 11:51 PM
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#26 |
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I lied. It was me.
Posts: 3,376
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Since network censors banned Rock's new sword swallowing gimmick, the writers decided on a mic swallowing gimmick. Somehow it just didn't have the same effect... This man took exception when Randy Orton entered the ring and told him that members of the ring crew shouldn't be in the ring during taping. After being led to the back by security, the man was given Vince's favorite punishment... 5 minutes alone with "The Game." Service Announcement: Edge helps Randy during a contraction. "Remember folks, this is what happens when you 'play The Game' without a condom." Victoria: Where did that tramp go? She was right here a second ago... Trish told Victoria to sit down and take a load off... unfortunately Victoria forgot there aren't any seats on THAT side of the barrier. Trish kicked out so hard it flung Victoria into a man's arms in the third row. He was very appreciative and later sent her a thank you card for the gift. Regal should really learn how to apply sunscreen... or Regal's impersonation of Kane and Lita's child during a game of charades had everyone stumped. Kane's impersonation was much easier to guess when he started shouting... Not the face! Not the face! You can't miss my huge nose! Kane was unimpressed with Regal's impersonation of Al Wilson. Jericho decided he didn't want to play with Batista anymore when he couldn't even figure out how to play hopscotch correctly. When the titon tron showed footage of how Lita's baby was conceived, Edge and the referee were spellbound in horror. Jericho, on the other hand, passed out when he realized someone had found his personal porn collection. Batista's version of the "Blowjob from Hell" put Randy to sleep and bored Edge so badly that he was scanning the crowds for a candidate to show Bastista how to do it properly. During a horrible cafeteria accident, Edge shot ketchup into his eye when trying to open the little packet. Randy held him still to avoid further damage while someone fetched a medic. Randy: I thought I told you to get on your knees and swallow! Edge: Randy! I'm NOT Stephanie... Randy: Oh, sorry man. Bad hair flashbacks... Matt was horrified when he got down on one knee to propose before he realised this wasn't Lita, but Stevie Richards in drag. Kane was ecstatic when prenatal tests proved the baby was not afflicted with the dreadful Botchitism disorder that Lita suffered from. Matt and Lita's reaction to the test results proving that neither Kane nor Matt were the baby's father. The rest of the Raw roster, the ring crew, the production crew, the security guards, and half the fans in the audience immediately hid so they couldn't be subpoenaed for blood tests. HHH: What are you doing?!? Stop licking my nipples! Eugene: You SAID it was time to 'play the game'. HHH: I didn't mean THAT game... Eugene: God!! I'm going to be sick!! Don't laugh. You'd look that way too if you woke up with a huge hangover and Lita in bed next to you. Eugene: I'm here to offer you all a chance to bid on your very own HHH sex doll as seen here. It's anatomically correct, except for the penis, which has been enlarged for your enjoyment. Let's start the bidding at $5.00... Do I hear $10? HHH from the back: Damn it Eugene, I told you not to mention that! As HHH looked around he realised he had missed mandatory nap time yet again this week. |
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06-22-2004, 11:54 PM
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#27 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Edge: Randy NO! You've been shot! Orton: ........... Edge: Randy who shot you! Orton: ........... |
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06-23-2004, 12:20 AM
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#28 |
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Elitist Member
Posts: 15,438
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Next week on Raw: Triple H goes to police Academy, Randy Orton starts his constuction job, Batista buys a motorcycle and Ric Flair decides to accept the Native American lifestyle. |
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06-23-2004, 01:41 AM
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#29 |
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lol
Posts: 209
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T!zer...Its a red thing! Mario and Luigi where not happy when Rock dissed Peach AND insulted there plumbing abilities. (I apologize for the crappy captions.Gimme a while to warm up.) |
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06-23-2004, 02:18 AM
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#30 | |
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YesYesYes!
Posts: 4,163
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Quote:
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06-23-2004, 02:42 AM
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#31 |
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YesYesYes!
Posts: 4,163
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I thought I told you, I want that sandwich carb-controlled!! You can have your way with me, but I will never tell you who fathered Lita's baby. Matt all of a sudden realized every pregnancy/marraige in WWE history has always ended in public disaster. Eugene remembered that Rock told him that HHH's favorite game was hide the strudel, so he decides to look for it. I found it! I found it! I win!!! |
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06-23-2004, 02:42 AM
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#32 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
YES! I'm NOT the only person to watch it!
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06-23-2004, 02:46 AM
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#33 |
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YesYesYes!
Posts: 4,163
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Ah, damn, red x. I guess I still haven't figured out how to do these correctly.
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06-23-2004, 02:53 AM
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#34 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
 Lemme take a shot at it... Matt: So you're saying either me or Kane is the father? Lita or ChristianMatt: So I got a 1 in 3 shot? Lita: Well, Well, there was Hurricane also... and that reporter Gergory Helms. Matt: Let me guess, Shane O'Mac too? Lita: Well, no, he told me he would "put it in the back." It's a good joke, a great base, with loads of potential. It works, ya just had to alter the punch line a bit. Then again, I always pick every little thing apart after I watch Queer Eye. |
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06-23-2004, 06:40 AM
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#35 |
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Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
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Rock: "Hey, The Rock loves that 'Newlyweds' show you do with your wife." |
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06-23-2004, 06:43 AM
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#36 |
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Resident drug enabler
Posts: 45,473
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IT'S PRONOUNCED LA-SHAY! NOT LATCH-EY, NOT LACK-EY... LA-SHAY!!! _____________________________________________________________ Kane: I like me... YOU like me... and I'm gonna make YOU... like you.
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06-23-2004, 07:04 AM
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#37 |
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Guest
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It seems kinda sick that the Rock would try to eat a microphone everytime he came back to Raw. |
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06-23-2004, 08:33 AM
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#38 |
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Triple A's a bitch
Posts: 1,039
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Rock: IF YA SMELL..........shit! I've forgotten the rest of it! Rock *thinking*: Try something else quick! Rock: FINALLY THE ROCK....HAS COME BACK.... Guy in front row: You live in Miami, you big dork! Rock:  I can't promo! Help! The Rock took great delight in pointing out that Right To Censor uniforms were out. Edge: What's that Randy? Orton: mumble, mumble, testicles, mumble, mumble, kiss better, mumble, mumble, please, mumble Edge: Kiss your testicles better? Get to Fuck! Orton: No, I said that 'I liked Test's Testicles gimmick, but I liked Sting's impression of Kiss better. Now can you stop standing on my bollocks please. Edge: Who were you talking to? Orton: Steven Richards. Edge: Gotcha! Worst Hurrican-rana Ever! I AM THE ANTI-SMURF! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, OR FEEL MY WRATH! Christopher Walken fresh from his dancing Fat Boy Slim video decided that he would have some fun beating up Kane. Sadly, he realised too late that he couldn't actually fly, so Kane bitch-slapped his ass until he had learnt his lesson. Who would have thought that Dave and Chris would make such a great dance team? Their move synchronisation was so perfect, so moving, that it was all the ref could do to stop from weeping. Ref: Dave, I hate you! How could you do this to Chris? Dave *offscreen*: He's not got the same passion since his face turn. Edge: Give him a chance Dave - he's a great dancer. Jericho: *sob* Dave...I'm sorry...*sob*....I'll dance better I promise. Ref: Give him a chance you big hair-dying freak! Dave: No. It's all over. Edge: Big Homo! Edge *thinking*: I'm tired of this. Every time you call Dave a homo, he tries to prove his hetero-sexuality by sticking his face in your crotch and running around the ring. Mind you, it does have it's own charm. Edge: Dave, YOU'RE A HOMO, A HOMO!.......mmmmm! Dave's demon sperm resulted in one of the strangest facials ever seen in the world of mainstream porn. Orton: Dave's my bitch, bitch, and don't you forget it bitch! Edge: Grammar.......get some! Orton: Now get out of the ring....it's laugh at Lita time! Matt: Lita, I'm starting to get sick of telling you! Lita: Sorry, Matt. Matt: If you're gonna wear mens trousers, you have to do up the zipper! Lita: Sorry, Matt. Matt: And stop saying Sorry Matt every 2 seconds! Lita: Sorry, Matt. Dammit, I wasn't meant to say Sorry, Matt, was I? Sorry, Matt......Dammit! Matt: Do you know what I have in my hand here? Lita: Is it a ring, Matt? Matt: No, it's a clue! Get one! Lita: Sorry, Matt. Matt:  Vote Kane for The Next Governer of California! Lita: Have you ever heard the phrase 'Chicks with Dicks' Matt? Matt:
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06-23-2004, 12:30 PM
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#39 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Worst. Photoshop. Ever. |
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06-23-2004, 04:14 PM
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#40 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Raising Kane gave me an idea...
Triple H was, without a doubt, one of the more vicious Naptime Enforcers in WWE history. |
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Linear Mode
