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07-03-2004, 04:53 AM
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#1 |
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Guest
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Smackdown captions
dont have enough time to post all pics so....
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07-03-2004, 06:19 AM
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#2 |
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Guest
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07-03-2004, 06:43 AM
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#3 |
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Guest
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And now, we have the real WWE title, not a replica, with John Bradshaw Layfield's name engraved on it! Starting bid at $5.00.. Anyone? $5 for this championship? *silence* Rene watches in amusement as Booker T and RVD dance the tango. Dupree clearly needed to regain his composure after watching Lita vs Hardcore Holly. RVD finally gets a hold on the glass ceiling. Worst. Sex. Position. Ever. YOU... SHALL.... NOT... PASS.... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!! Flair: Whaddya mean that Foley isn't here? Referee: Foley isn't on Smackdown, Ric... Flair: I have to apologise to Mick Foley, damnit! *mutters* I shouldn't have gotten Hunter to ghost-write that book... Flair after travelling to the future and discovering his man-boobs. HE stole my push? Cena: You don't even deserve one, Kenzo! HEADLINES: WWE fan suffers from stroke after watching the Great American Bash. Spike: No, Bradshaw, don't hit me! *JBL morphs into HHH* *Spike throws himself onto HHH and holds his leg tightly* Spike: Oh God, please enlighten me on how not to job anymore... HHH/JBL: Job... job... Eddie: Ha, senor! Bow to Latino Heat, you Nazi cowboy New Yorkian! *after watching GAB* Bradshaw: Boy, I suck. |
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07-03-2004, 10:25 AM
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#4 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
 
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Ever since JBL became president of the USA, the ratings of the White House have gone down. "Hey Baby...what's your sign?" Rene's cry of FREEEEEEDOM knocks everyone out including RVD. Undertaker: Paul........you...killed....my....conscience.......Now...you must feel...the power....of iiiiiiice! *Ice Ice Baby hits* Undertaker: Word...to your mother! *Rolls eyes in the back of head* Spike see's Stephanie Mcmahon without eye shadow. |
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07-03-2004, 12:42 PM
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#5 |
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Just Some Guy
Posts: 14,679
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This is my first attempt at these, and I haven't watched wrestling in about a year, so I apologise in advance!
Hey look, my hat is glued to my hand! So if I kiss your baby, you'll vote for me? I'm this bad, yet I can still win this, god bless America. RVD and Booker T both realised their WWE careers were going now here and decided to become travelling acrobats. For their first trick, Booker T held RVD in the air by his foot If I dance in the middle of the ring, I may get a push, hell, it worked for Rikishi! RVD heard rumours that they would be producing a new superman film and decided to get practice in before the auditions. He needs it. I feel ill  Tonight on when twister games go horribly wrong! Who the fuck: And you're gonna bend over and take it like a bitch..... Charles Robinson: But I don't wanna.... The authorities heard that Rey Mysterio was insane and sent the men in white to come get him I haven't watched wrestling in a while, but man has Scott Hall changed Must.....hold......fart......in Undertaker does his impression of a talentless moron. It required very little effort. Captured American servicemen were tortured by Iraqi insuregents, they were forced to watch Smackdown! The UN have condemned these actions. She saw this one on a training video for amatuer chyropractacy Someone get me a frigging dentist! I think I'm gonna sneeze..... Achhoooo! Theres the casting agent for the last samuri! Go show him he shouldn't of left you out! John Cena was used to being told to put his hands in the air, though this time he didn't have to drop the weapon LSD joined in the epilepsy awareness campaign LSD was so drunk he could hardly stand up... ....so Bradshaw being the kind man he was offered to carry him home. Several guys in the back s******ed at the irony of Bradshaw carrying someone. Keep going, faster.....oh yeah....thats the stuff..... Is he giving Eddie head in the ring 
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07-03-2004, 12:54 PM
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#6 |
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Posts: 14,008
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This week, Jon will be saying a big hello to Dusty Rhodes. As Spike began having convulsions, he deeply regretted touching that wire. Jon had been happy as champion, but he soon felt nauseous when Eddie informed him he'd be losing the belt next week to Joanie Laurer. WE'RE ALL HOMOS! Luther demanded Charles take back his remark about what right-ear piercings meant. Vince was so unimpressed with the action, he demanded technicians displayed everybodies thoughts on the match on the big blue sign. Rob was doing fine until he spied a penny behind the steps. Still unimpressed with the action, Vince now wanted his favourite character on Doctors displayed for all to see. Sadly for Jon, Kristin Shepard had left her glasses at home that day and, well, mistakes will be made... |
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07-03-2004, 04:32 PM
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#7 |
Posts: 18,357
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Wow, that Spike heart attack pic was hilarious! My turn...
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07-03-2004, 04:42 PM
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#8 |
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SEX APPEAL
Posts: 13,830
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RVD: I just keep having this dream where I'm Spider-Man. I'm trying to climb this glass ceiling, but my powers keep failing on me. |
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07-03-2004, 05:08 PM
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#9 |
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Posts: 18,357
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"Yes! Welcome the new WWE Champion guys! ....guys? Helloooooo... where is everyone?" As you can see here, even little babies can perceive the disbelieving warp of logic in award Bradshaw the WWE title. OR Bradshaw greets the Baby With the World's Largest Mullet. JBL shows off his new Nazi Wrestling Champion of the World belt. OR Bradshaw: "My demands are simple. If you EVER want to see Belty back, you will do the right thing... or ELSE!!!" The battle between Liu Kang and Jax was tough and riveting, but both men had to wonder why the ref was disco-ing in the background. OR The WWE production of Peter Pan was huge hit except for the casting glitch on the part of Wendy. Booker (reading hand): Okay, arm twist, check. Now I... ah yes! I give him a stiff kick!" Renee: "Wow, he's got Lita syndrome.  "The scene was agonizing to bear: RVD had already collapsed under the pain, but poor Renee was still tied up, forced to watch looped replays of the Great American Bash. Fortunately for RVD, when his MC Hammer impression failed, Renee was there to catch him. Okay, this time, Rhyno's gone too far!!! OR This was the last time RVD tried doing coke snorts on a chair in the middle of a match... What happens when a Bookercentaur plays Twister with itself. Luther: "Wait, YOU'RE the one who switched the Evolution Kool Aid to Kevin Nash Kool Aid last week???" Mordecai unleashes his most devastating manuveur: The Vatican Back Chomp.  Hilarity ensues when Rhyno tampers with the ring ropes again. Mordecai wa about to wrap up his promo with an awesome pose when some masked bozo on a parachute just had to drop in and land on him. Rey knew he should have been concentrating on his match, but Mordecai's legs were so warm and huggable! The Frost Titan of the North finally reveals his face. Then he punches Heyman for good measure. "HAHA! Some of you actually PAID to watch the Great American Bash!  "Sable's Hurricanrana attempt made Lita look like Rey Mysterio. Tony Danza strikes again. Sable's gore wasn't too impressive either. "I can't believe they just devoted three whole pictures to that crapfest!!" OR "Oh shit I locked my keys in my car!" OR The father of Lita's child is revealed. OR "Bradshaw's the champ?!?!?!" And now, The WWE Vault brings you the historic beginning to that classic feud between a young Ric Flair and Cheech Martin. Brock: "Don't you ever take off your shirt in front of me again, you gay sicko!!!" Charlie Haas politely helps a fan who's become dangerously ill from recent SmackDOWN! programming so that he can receive medical attention from the back. Hiroko: "There! That man has your constipation medicine!!!" Cena: "Hey man, I just thought it was some cream filling!" Spike found out the hard way that sometimes, it's best not to try to figure out the logic behind Bradshaw's WWE title push. If the cameraman had gotten the shot just two seconds later, he would have captured the most amazing F-5 in history. Bradshaw: "See! I told all you fat internet geeks I could carry someone in a match!!" JBL: "I realized that earlier on my show, you insulted me. Now you shall pay!" *gets out bazooka* Eddie: "Um...your shoes are untied!" JBL: "From this view they appeared to be tied, but I will move in for a closer inspection." *Six hours later after Eddie's gotten in a Taxi to the airport...* JBL: "Upon further inspection, these are loafers. JBL after finding out he'd be challenging the SEC Stable in two weeks for the title. |
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07-03-2004, 10:56 PM
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#10 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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JBL: who's a boo? who's a booboojooboo? Baby: Im Not Telling You Anything You.. JBL: WHA? You know when smackdown has really become desperate when JBL has to do his Levitating Belt Trick to get ratings. Booker: How do you like my face to your foot style? Booker: Now try my nuts to your fist style Rene was really pissed after he lost AGAIN to the smackdown fists at "Rock, Scissors, Paper" ...RVD botches the Van Daminator to the ring post ^Worst Pin Cover Of All Time^ Sable: And then Vince says to Zac, "You Wont Have A Leg To Stand On" "No Charlie, Paper BEATS Rock" Charles: Gorgeous George is back? Hiroko(?): Hey, Its The A-Team Kenzo: Wha-chu tawkin bout, fooool? Cenas Midget Arm joke was just ridiculous Eddie: Royal Flush. Off with the tights JBL: Huh? CNBC hires Bob Holly |
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07-05-2004, 12:59 AM
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#11 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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Feel sorry for the little one. Her first memory is the time she met her very first asshole. Guy on left: Yeah! Smackdown for free rocks! Right: ..Help us. Kenzo: So he's responsible for the downfall of the new Star Wars movies! Thanks, Amadela or something. Spanky: I thought I left this hellhole!? Bradshaw: Bring out your dead! Spike: I'm not dead. Actually,I feel quite better. I feel happy, I feel - (STOMP!) Torrie: Acting hurts! OR She thought "White Chicks" was Highlarious! John Cena reanacts the scene from "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" when the bike is stolen. EXTREME NAPPING!!! |
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07-05-2004, 02:06 AM
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#12 | ||
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not gayo
Posts: 7,676
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Quote:
Quote:
Loved the Simpson's ref especially. |
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07-05-2004, 02:36 AM
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#13 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Looking back over time, it was at this moment when every internet fan suffered a seizure... |
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07-05-2004, 03:12 AM
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#14 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Kane Knight: Ladies and Gentlemen, your new WWE Champion! *Stage attendant whispers* Kane Knight: What do you mean I need another joke? *Whispering* Kane Knight: They did? *whispering* Kane Knight: He is? *head explodes* (Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the part of Kane Knight shall be played by his understudy, Bobo the typing chimp) "Can you say 'Final Solution?"' The crowd was confused. What was JBL doing as the "illegal immigrant" champion, and why was he proud of it? WWE Swan Lake was a smash hit until RVD's Ballet shoes got caught in Booker's dreads. Booker exclaims, "wow! I have hands!" As RVD unleashes his new finisher, the Contact High. Jesus: I don't know what you're bitching about. In my day, your feet didn't touch the ground and the crucifixes didn't come with lumbar support built in. moment's later, Rob's Michael Jackson impression takes a sinister turn as he bursts into flames. RVD prays for a concussion after hearing the news of the new champion. In a post-match interview, Renee would go on to state that he couldn't understand why people think he's gay. "Oh honey, are you wearing that tie with those shoes? Mordecai's newest submission: locking his opponent in a full nelson, and forcing them to watch the Pope's sponge bath. An angry Mordecai leads Rey through the YMCA choreography...Again. Mordecai: Well, I'll be, there is more than one way to make the Y. I'm sure someone's already made this joke. Why we shouldn't condemn homosexuality in the military. "What?" "We're sorry, your breasts look too much like Ric Flair's. You're going to need a masectomy to avoid confusion." He didn't realise they meant in ring. "mi scusi" (points for the ref) --OR-- After weeks with Rico and Jackie, it was nice to feel some REAL boobs for a change. Michael Jackson, forgetting his reading glasses, asked his bodyguard to read the Titantron entrances to him. Naked popes, Nazi champs, and Cena getting Llewinski'd...It was a controversial night. Spike Fell victim to Doctor Zorbo's freeze ray. From Velocity to Main Eventing. Spike was so excited he couldn't help but show his gratitude... Acting Quickly, Spike escapes the hold by sticking his tongue in Bradshaw's ear. John "Fingercuffs" Layfield. Humiliated. Violated. Rape just wasn't funny now that he was on the receiving end. |
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07-05-2004, 03:18 AM
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#15 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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Losing the shirt off your back due to car insurance premiums? Should have switched to Geico. Geico: fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. |
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07-05-2004, 03:48 AM
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#16 |
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Fthagn?
Posts: 10,042
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]
..Is that John Denver or something? JBL: Oh, he's so cute. How old is he? Woman: I don't know, I stole him and ran in here to hide. You'd be surprised at how lousy the secruity here is. JBL: ... JBL: And our closing story: I have the World title! Me! Yes, and that's all the time we have today. I'm John Bradshaw, and that's news to me! You know the refs an idiot when he can't properly Heil Hitler. Rene: So zis is "Square Dancing"?.. Rene: What in ze Hell?! Ze ropes are acting as a crucifix?! Zis cannot be! Now what you dont't see is the part were RVD's leg gets caught on the turnbuckle here.. Perfect example of why you should bring your wallet to ringside in pocketless tights. It goes without saying, that this is thee worst. Figure-Four. Ever. It was all going so well. Luther was putting on a look that he was an evil, destructive monster with his bulging eyes, scaring poor Charles. It was suddenly ruined when Robinson spotted the Big Bird tie.. Rey: This is a really odd submission hold you got he...whoa..WHOA! What are you doing?! What the hell is that thing pressing against my ass?! Mordecai: Your...destiny... "And now we'll go to our Mexican in the sky for the weather. Mexican?..." When Rey slammed Mordecai through the ring-matt, it was literal. Looks like the WWE is getting sponsoring from BowFlex... And here we see the fine men serving their country by being at a WWE show. Worst. Dropkick. Ever. See what happens when you use to much silicone and your breasts hit your jaw? So wait- is Torrie giving a DDT or is Hot-Leather Granny botching a spear? Eh, these suck. I'll stop here. |
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