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Old 07-11-2004, 11:13 PM   #1
Kane Knight
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News Updates:
--A reliable source in the industry has indicated that, while the WWE doesn't know how they are ending the Lita Pregnancy angle, the father will be determined by a Pay-Per-View match TBA. Kane is stacked as the heavy favorite, as Lita has been ordered to smoke, drink, and ride horseback for the next 7 months.

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”

--John Rogers
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Old 07-12-2004, 01:44 AM   #2
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LOL

Lita has to smoke, drink, and ride horseback because everyone knows she'll botch the abortion.
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Old 07-12-2004, 01:54 AM   #3
James Steele
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Actually, she wouldn't botch the abortion (doctor would fuck that up along with lita's ass) Lita would botch the drive to the clinic.

***Scene***
Lita (in car): I can't wait to get rid of this baby

(Lita thinks she sees a U-turn sign so she does donuts until she veers off the raod and into a ditch)

***End Scene***

I called it.
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Old 07-12-2004, 01:55 AM   #4
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For a second there (since im pretty slow) I thought that was gonna be a stipulation for the next PPV. Kane vs Matt Hardy V1.0, winner will be Lita's babies father.
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Old 07-12-2004, 01:57 AM   #5
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Or they have a "Maury Povich On A Pole Match" Winner gets to see the results and tell everybody what the results are. (Will he lie or tell the truth)

FIND OUT IN JUST 6 WEEKS AT





SUMMERSLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 07-12-2004, 03:20 AM   #6
Kane Knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RemyRedAssassin
For a second there (since im pretty slow) I thought that was gonna be a stipulation for the next PPV. Kane vs Matt Hardy V1.0, winner will be Lita's babies father.
That is the stip.

It's a "reverse pole match," taking from the TNA King of the Mountain match.

The idea will be that each will be handed a roll of condoms, and the winner is the first one to successfully climb the pole and properly apply it to the tip.

Backstage sources say it's an attempt to make Lita feel better, as it's a match where other people are expected to botch more than her.

Either way, with luck, one of them learns how to use a rubber, thus stamping out Springer moments from Raw.
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Old 07-12-2004, 03:23 AM   #7
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fetus on a pole match.
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Old 07-12-2004, 03:37 AM   #8
Kane Knight
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