|
07-27-2004, 05:00 PM
|
#1 |
|
#BUCTOBER
Posts: 6,461
 
|
Raw captions (July 26, 2004)
Looks like I'm first to it today.
                                      
This space for rent |
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:04 PM
|
#2 |
|
IT'S ALL ABOUT OUR THING
Posts: 4,521
|
Where is the one with the loogie? That would have been gold.
Plus, like 10 of them are practically the same. 
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:21 PM
|
#3 |
|
One Of A Kind
Posts: 22,178
|
Could've put spoiler in the thread title, now ive just seen how the match ended, thanks alot, bitch!
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:38 PM
|
#4 |
Posts: 18,357
|
DAMN that's a lotta pics!
 The new WWE whoreless shelter was doing great. Lonely men could just come in, pick a whore, and that was that! It was time for Lita to make the next cut in The Bachelorette: Which One Got Her Pregnant? You'd be sick to your stomach if you had to wear that too. Edge: "Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr whoosh! I'm a plane!!! Vrrrrrrrrrr!" Jericho: "That's funny, I thought he got the fusion surgery like everyone else, not the Dr. Jho treatment..." Tomko: "Yeah, that's what we though." I know Jericho's the one w/ the blue trunks, but work with me here. There were few moves more devastating than the patented Canadian Double Wedgie. Tired of being fake-pushed, Kane built up speed to hit 88 MPH so he could just escape the present and go back to a hopefully more satisfying future. Things got interesting when Peter Parker joined the fray from the rafters and started randomly taking out wrestlers. Alas, only with A-Train's help was Hurricane truly able to fly. Richards drooled with excitement. THREE targets! Jericho was about to deliver the full impact of his Liu Kang Bicycle Kick when the referee stopped him in his tracks with the Force. Grenier proved himself THE most hardcore fitness addict in the world when he did pushups... ON THE TOP ROPE. Flair was a madman once he spotted Foley across the ring. Rusty after having not appeared on TV in quite a while, Tajir uberbotches The Tarantula. Richards and A-Train: "DAMMIT, YOU SAID SO YOURSELF! STAY IN THE BACK!!!" Somehow, Flair's Spiderman impression just didn't have the same grace to it. Everyone: "RHYNO!!!!!" Everyone (again): "RHYNO!!!!" Orton: "Get! Off! My! Twizzlers!!!" Maven: "But they're MY candy!!!" Edge: "See anything?" Randy: "NO!" Chris: "Ya know... there are better ways of checking for a hernia..." Here we see LC's TV screen after LC blew his load right on Orton. People never looked at him the same after Randy "Candian KKK" Orton publicy hung Jericho right there on the ropes. Orton: "Al...most... GOT IT!" Jericho: "OW! Can you be a bit gentler with my posterior area?" Orton: "I told you not to play guns and darts with Steven..." Orton: "Dammit, fall off! Fall OFF!!! That's it, smell my shoe!" Jericho: "UGH!!!" *faints and falls off* Orton: "Heh heh heh... still got it." "Great news! Everyone is now unbanned!!" The Lita-Replace Diva challenge had its winner when the girl botched fondling Kamala. Kamala would have enjoyed it more if some idiot hadn't put a glass wall right between him and the girl. It was a sad day when Triple H was allowed to pin Benoit in his sleep. After the suplex was interrupted by a sick display of public fondling, HHH was forever known as Hunter Michael Jackson Helmsley. Benoit learned the hard way: NEVER insult a referee who possess telekinesis. Hunter: "All right, got him tied to the crucifix, now to hold him up and plant it. Hold him up? How the heck do I do that?" Ref: "That's not a spider, that's just an ant..." HHH: "ANTS?! I'm super terrfied of ants!!!" Dave "The Mime" Batista was not as intimidating as writers had hoped. Batista: "I'm gonna make you eat this ring post!!! What the?!" *ring post disappears as Dave goes to slam Benoit's head through it* Benoit: "Heh heh heh... old Canadian trick..." Chris learned never to bother John Kerry's wife after she told him to "shove it" then proceeded to splatter him with ketchup. WOW! Eugene LITERALLY took Hunter's head off with that chair shot!!!  Benoit: "I would have followed you to the very end, my brother... my captain... my... Hunter, there's only six seconds left in the broadcoast, do I really have to say it?" Hunter: "YES!" Benoit: *sigh* "My king..." Nova: "And THAT's for sticking me with this stupid Richard Simmons gimmick!!!" |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:40 PM
|
#5 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
HHH (groggily): "Oh man, what a party last night. And what a crazy dream... I was winning against Benoit, but then he came back and pinned me after some jobber gave me a chair shot." Vince (offscreen): "Um, that wasn't a dream. That really happened." HHH: "WHAT?!?! Dammit, I was drugged!!!" |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:40 PM
|
#6 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
Bleh... hard to come up with anything good when there are two total matches and basically no variety in the pics...
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:49 PM
|
#7 |
|
I Just Passed You By!
Posts: 1,107
|
Coach thinking: "Now which one of these women is going to beating the crap out of me by WrestleMania 21?" Management was not happy that Rhyno had caused half the RAW roster to become stuck to the ring mat. On the plus side, he himself was there too! Sleep time! Kane: "But my name really IS Indigo Montoya!" All: "That's it, you were warned! Out you go back to mid-card Hell!" That's all for now. |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 05:49 PM
|
#8 | |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
Quote:
 Good one! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 06:17 PM
|
#9 |
|
President of Freedonia
Posts: 58,316
|
Even with no variety in the pics, great stuff Corky, especially the "stay in the back" one.
Oh yeah, and for the record, that's not A-Train in the pics, it's Rodney Mack. 
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 06:40 PM
|
#10 |
|
Incoming Text
Posts: 2,646
|
Here we go!
Vince decides to weed out some talent by getting all of the wrestlers who are not Triple H in the middle of the ring. Regal curled into a fetal position and began to cry; being taken advantage of by a referee was a new low. When Kane prepared to smash Val with the Fist of Doom, Tajiri promptly lost his lunch. Everyone in the audience stared in amazement as a man, clad only in a robe and a staff, parted the sea of wrestlers. Because of all the action, nobody caught Flair and Edge making out in the corner. Flair: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Unbeknowest to the other wrestlers, Kane was enjoying every minute of it. Edge: "Well, everything appears to be in order sir, you may go about your business." And in the heat of the moment, with all eyes on him, Randy suddenly lost it and soiled himself. Kamala stared in horror as the baby he had eaten hours before began to kick. Triple H's bedtime lullabyes could put even the most ferocious grappler to sleep instantly. Despite the innocent look on Batistas face, the referee remained suspiscious. After Benoit took off like and airplane and Triple H started skipping after him, the WWE decided that an hour was a little too long from now on. Richard Simmons strikes again!!!!! Triple H: "Vince...wha..what happened?!?" Vince: "Well......Simmons hit you with that chair and cost you the title." Triple H: ".......SIIIIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNSSS!!!!!" |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 06:54 PM
|
#11 |
|
You're Fired
Posts: 338
|
Batista: Whoa... step back Ric... He has a gun and doesn't look happy... HHH: I jobbed to Chris Benoit again??? aAAHHHHHHH |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:03 PM
|
#12 |
|
Shocker
Posts: 3,124
|
After being the first one eliminated from the battle royal, it was pretty apparent that Charlie Hass had really let himself go. |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:05 PM
|
#13 |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Caption time… of joy!!!!
I made these before I read them, so sorry if I rip off anyone’s jokes. Okay Ladies! Raise your hand if you have any talent! Everyone just HAD to come down to the ring to see proof that Steven Richards isn’t always invisible. After hearing that Maven was going to last longer in the battle royal than him, Regal just had to get the hell out of the ring. Tomko: Hey, you two know a lot about rasslin'... Who the hell is the fat black guy with the weird paint on him in the back? Edge and Jericho: For that, you’re going out! You know Vince hates Canadians when he needs two of them to take out a de-pushed former tag team champion. Tajiri would have helped Val Venis stay in the match but he was to captivated by his invisible green ball. *moments earlier, in a special emergency rafters meeting* Vince: Okay Matt, the writing staff has decided the ending for your storyline with Lita! And believe me, you’ll like it! Matt: Oh really? That’s great! What do you have in mind, boss? Vince: We just signed on an internationally known superstar for you to put over… I mean feud with, and he’ll be the father of Lita’s baby! Matt: Who is it? Vince: Dink!!!… … … Matt, you’re awfully close to the edge of the rafters…. Rhyno: Yes! My plan is working! Originally A-Train was supposed to win this battle royal, but he made the mistake of being in Rosey’s way when The Hurricane said he was done playing galaga. Rosey: Come on Jericho! Lemme out! Jericho: Why should I? Rosey: It’s my turn to play Galaga! Edge: Galaga!?!?! Sweet! Chris, hold the top rope down while I help Rosey get some speed to get out! Rosey: Thanks! You guys are the best! Just look at Tajiri… Best. Kickout. Ever. In the heat of battle, Kane had to stand alone and think… “Am I being pushed, or de-pushed… It’s a story line, but so was Mark Henry/Mae Young….” Kane: AND DON’T YOU EVER MAKE FUN OF “Walking On Broken Glass” AGAIN!!!! While The Hurricane was trying to defend his democratic views to Richards and A-Train, Ric and Edge showed the world how liberal they really are. In the WWE’s version of American Idol, when you were cut, you got thrown over the ring. After this night Rhyno never attempted the 619 ever again. Kane: What!!! All I said is maybe GW should take some money out of the public school system and put it into a crčme filling defense fund! Randy Orton never understood why his short lived feud with Maven didn’t solidify his status as “Legend Killer.” The new Edgemoible was harder to start up than anyone thought. Biggest. Sneeze. Ever. Jericho: One Handed Pull Ups, Bitch! Much to the disappointment of all his fans, Spiderman’s web just couldn’t reach Orton. JR: SHININGBAHGAWDWIZZARDLITTERLALLYTOOKOFFHISHEADBBQSAUCENOSELLSTUNNER!!!! “I would like to thank Loose Cannon for your support! Give me your address and I’ll send you an autographed box of Kleenex so you can clean up the mess you just made in your shorts!  ”ZING! I would say “Ahmed Johnson really let himself go” but I don’t want to insult Kamala. Both: What the crap did I get myself into? HHH: NO! This can’t happen! Why am I stuck??? Chris: Because Rhyno was in the ring. HHH: Look at you with your new wave hair cut! Chris: Check you out with your air brush make up! HHH: Look at you! Chris: Check you out! HHH: Look at you with your white mesh half shirt! Chris: Check you out with your spandex mini skirt! HHH: …….I don’t wanna sing this song anymore…….. *reps for the reference* The ref knew he wouldn’t make it in the wrestling world when he couldn’t muster the testicular fortitude to do a suicide senton bomb. HHH: Damn, the crucifix fell over. The only reason Triple H did not fall asleep in his own match was the fact that no one could fall asleep during a Chris Benoit match. HHH: I can’t tap out if my free hand is missing! Chris: Awwwww shucks! Batista: Hey! Look! I’m stuck in box! I can’t get out! See, this is a wall! I’m stuck in box! Yep! I am stuck in a box! Ric: Batista, what the hell are you doing? Batista: I’m a mime! Ric: Lemme guess… Lita taught you? Batista: Yep! Batista: Well Batista 7:36 says I’m gonna hurt you! Chris: I’m not sure what’s worse… That line of the fact that my head is going to be driven into that post… HHH: Hey Chris! I wasn’t done drawing a giant strawberry on your head! Randy Savage comes back with vengeance in his heart, and a complete lack of style. Chris: Come on ref, you can do it! Stay awake for the three count! Ref: But it’s an hour of Triple H…. It was just like his dreams… he was at a wrestling show, and then he realizes that he’s naked. “So, the retard screwed me over… Okay, fine… Steph won’t swallow, ever again.” Last edited by FourFifty; 07-27-2004 at 07:28 PM. Reason: HTML |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:21 PM
|
#14 | |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
Quote:
How the fuck could he have possibly gotten whiter??? |
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:25 PM
|
#15 |
|
not gayo
Posts: 7,676
|
The Coach tried to keep attention away from Lita when she mistakenly appeared on the Diva Search wearing camo gear. Senility had finally gotten to Ric Flair as he waited for a tag in the 20 man tag team match. The RC Cola Man's sidekick couldn't take a punch very well. Joining Kamala in a surprise appearance on Raw, The Godfather was about to get eliminated by Jericho and Edge. Edge and Jericho are demoted to cleaning up some jobber trash from the ring. Tajiri's Flair strut was impressive even by Flair standards. Jobbers came up with very innovative ways of trying to kick out the glass ceiling. Orton was the only one that fell for the backwards 'toidi na er'uoy fi ereh eratS' sign. Rosey definitely graduated to superhero status after punching holes into two guys' heads. The Ref was using strings to control his Rob Conway puppet as Flair was taking another nap in the ring. Kane was about to pull out his secret weapon: the translucent hoop of death. When the Ref had a latenight thirst for brains, he just had to have it. The Ref loved it when the WWE logo asked for it doggy style. Flair loved it when Rodney Mack whispered sweet nothings in his ear. OR Even with Rodney yelling in his ear, Flair was hard to wake up from his afternoon nap. Maven didn't think the ring ropes were that hard until after his nose indented into his face. Rhyno hurried to find a good hide-and-go-seek spot while Batista was already at the 8 count. The wrestlers weren't very smart to dispose of Kane's body over the ropes after killing him due to his involvement in the Lita baby storyline. Randy had loads of fun playing jobber pinyata. Edge was always a cheap motherfucker when it came to buying wrestling equipment, so he tried stealing Batista's kneepads. Jericho tries to hold on to his credibility, but it vanishes right through his arms. Randy wasn't impressed with Jericho's intense workouts. Worst. Brainbuster. Ever. Orton countered Jericho's one arm pull-ups with his one handed leaping push-ups. Randy never noticed the shadow of the giant 'H' falling on him to kill his push. Doctor: This is a test to see how much body fat you have, Mr. Simpson. Homer: Okay, go ahead. *doctor smacks Homer's stomach as it continues to juggle for 5 minutes* Homer: Look at it go! Kamala: I swear I thought she was over 18! HHH used his newest backup plan, a giant vaccuum, on the Ref's arm to avoid jobbing again. The crowd froze in amazement as Triple H actually elevated someone. The Ref practiced hard for the 'wrestler toss' at the Summerslam Olympics. HHH tried to contain his laughter as Benoit's tiny penis stuck out of his tights. Benoit was the toughest pedicurist in the WWE today. Benoit: The fee was 2 bucks a nail, now pay up you cheap son of a bitch! Batista played his new 'gay runway model' gimmick to a T. Batista: Let me introduce you to my new friend, Ringo Posty. Benoit: Is that supposed to be funny, you fucking flamer? Super Macho Man opened up a huge wound on Little Mac with his super spinning punch. Eugene, always the consummate gentleman, returned with a chair for his exhausted friend, but he already had fallen asleep. HHH's second backup plan, the Referee faking a heart attack, was a great success in the final seconds of the match. An enfuriated HHH lost the match after spotting Stephanie McMahon naked in the crowd. HHH: Oh shit, not the Ultimate Warrior! NOOOOOOOOO!!! |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:32 PM
|
#16 | |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:52 PM
|
#17 |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Regal's thoughts on the Raw Divas Search. |
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 07:59 PM
|
#18 |
|
#BUCTOBER
Posts: 6,461
|
off-camera: Thank you, Mr. Coachman, but we've decided to go with Moolah for warden in our rendition of "Bimbos Behind Bars". Word had gotten out: Shawn O'Haire was loose in the locker room... Not satisfied with just one belt, JBL was frustrated at his failed bid to become the number one contender for the RAW belt. Hurricane: Dammit, Val, stop trying to help me up before you poke me in the eye again. Rosey's super power is revealed: The power to push out of focus non-talents. Unfortunately, Rosey's weakness was also revealed: gimmick-less gimmicks. Hoping to win the YJ Stinger contest, Tajiri imitates Ric Flair, while Kane shows off his Hurricane. Wow, X-Pac put on the weight while he was away... Orton: "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Hurricane right over. The ref tried to stop Edge, but Mil Mascaras DID come out uninvited... Kane was mystified: Just who was "Duck Teeth" and why would that guy brag about fingering him? Orton: "Welcome back, Rodney Mack. Hey that rhymes!" Maven: "I'm not Rodney." Orton: "Well, you're not Rick James, b!tch." Worst. Headstand. Ever. Jericho finally proves that Edge is, in fact, Mister Anderson. Kamala was freaking out! She was about to smudge the tribal paint signifying that he was a jobber. Kamala: "Just because you're wearing a Hines Ward jersey in Pittsburgh doesn't mean you're gonna get any extra votes, Michelle Branch." The ref knew he was in for a long night. Here we see him telling the back how many beers he wanted for the rest of the match. Benoit was deliriously happy. He was the first to get the new Rosey replica mask. Benoit: "Jebus, Eugene! When I said I wanted you to take HHH's head off, I didn't really MEAN it!" The kid's Stretch Armstrong doll was shrinking back into shape just in time for HHH to get a little more face time this evening. HHH (under his breath): "I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry." Last edited by parkmania; 07-27-2004 at 08:48 PM. |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 08:55 PM
|
#19 |
|
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
|
Coach: If your sole purpose on this earth is to pleasure Innovator, wear pink pants... Flair was a little uneasy to get into the ring of Bret Hart fans, but orders are orders Regal, the silent assassin's next victim The Canadian Justice League, sworn to defend the fans against useless hosses Jericho, desperate for a meaningful push, begins the Butterfly Effect...sucks for him that Chuck is going with him Kane: HADOKEN! *earlier in the day* Matt: BUT I'M IN A STORYLINE! Writer: Doesn't matter, Vince feels the human punching bag gimmick will really get you over Useless hoss: HAHAHA! Suffer my wrath talented Stevie!...and Rodney Mack Jericho and Edge: Hear that! Thats the sound of Canadian Justice! Silvian: Kane! toss me out now Kane:..... Silvian: KANE! Kane: *snaps out of a daze* Oh sorry, I thought I was in 1998 and was a main eventer Maven: AND THATS FOR FOLEY! Batista was getting ready for the "Toss former ECW Champions" game at the Olympics. Kane's new "Different Colored Eyes" Aggression didn't get over too well with the rest of the roster Randy: See that, thats where pushes come from Maven: REALLY!? Lemme get a closer look... Randy: Sucker! This battle royal is brought to you by the number 6 Jericho: LUDACRIS SPEED! Jericho: LOOK WALDO! Randy: WHERE!? Kamala: Oh god, this is what I look like! No wonder I wasn't taken seriously You can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your hands HHH was ecstatic to play William Wallace in WWE's version of Braveheart. Getting him to agree on the last scene, was a little harder HHH: If you're levitating, TAKE ME WITH YOU HHH: I just killed the last credible Canadian's career...what now? Upon hearing Brock had signed with the Vikings, Vince made Benoit his new "naptime" enforcer Benoit: TAP! or else! HHH: or else what? Benoit: Or else I'll tell Steph where you really were last night! HHH: NO! she thought I was at the knitting circle! *TAPS* HHH: Things can't get any worse *Ultimate Warrior's music hits* HHH: Shit! |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 10:28 PM
|
#20 | |
|
I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
|
Quote:
Edit: On second though, I'm not so sure anymore.
|
|
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 11:36 PM
|
#21 |
|
One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
|
Coach couldn't believe it. Either he needed new glasses, or the Spice Girls were multiplying like crazy! HHH smiled. His plan was coming to fruition. Lure every wrestler in the ring, then lower the glass ceiling. Oh yessss.... After so many years being bald, Kurt felt his new head of hair was a bit top-heavy. After Jericho pulled the mask, Edge stood shocked. It really was Sean O'Haire in disguise! Jericho and Edge helpfully eject the crazy drunk who'd somehow made his way in the ring. Kane's somersault with a Tajiri springboard would've been so badass. Damn Val Venis and his unavoidable bitter beer face! Matt had been so depushed that security was instructed to keep him out of the Rumble. Matt, though, had a few tricks up his sleeve. Namely, a bungie cord. Randy: "Oh my God! There's a mouse in the middle of the ring!" All: "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" After three depressing years of pork rinds and beer, Spider-man finally gets his act together and returns to the world of wrestling. The ref --- concerned by the fact that Flair hadn't moved in the last five minutes --- tries to wake up the old codger by poking at the ring rope. Kane: "Saaaaayyyy... nice butt." Flair's true powers were revealed when he shot poor Sylvan with his laser eyes. Tajiri began to panic as Kane emphatically bellowed, "You're my wife now!" Boy, would A-Train and Richards be surprised when they found out they threw out Hurricane's malfunctioning hologram! That Flair! He'll do anything for glimpse of a fan's cleavage! As Rhyno and Batista can attest, Randy's farts were damn powerful. Kane: "FREEEEDOMMMM!!!" This day being Maven's birthday, Randy obliged by delivering the customary birthday spanking. You know, I know there's a cheap joke involving the number 69, but I'd like to think I'm beyond that, you know? Jericho: "Crap! Is everyone in this match a damn hologram?" Jericho, ever the rock star, entertains the crowd by playing the world's biggest guitar! Randy: "Y2-Gay!" Jericho: "Hunter Toy!" Randy: "Had to share the Intercontinental belt with Chyna!" Jericho: "Oh man... that was cold." Randy: "Yeah.... sorry, man." Orton's plan was most devious. He pulled out his spectacular Booker T impression, and as Jericho started to clap his hands... Jericho: "Oh CRAP!" Randy loved to lose himself in the post-match sauna. No one was more surprised than Kamala when the diva pressed his belly... and suddenly his breasts were triple-D! Kamala sure was lucky to find a chick who had a thing for guys with big-ass peacock tails. Once again, the arena's gravity generators go on the fritz. Ref: "Young man, there's a place you can go, I said young man, when you're short on your dough. You can STAY THERE, and I'm sure you will find... many WAYS... TO... HAVE... A GOOD TIME. You can stay at the..." Hunter would've gotten the pin if he hadn't lost himself in Benoit's well-defined abs. In a wrestling/late night talk show first, Dave Letterman holds an interview with Hunter in the middle of a match. Batista: "11:46?!?! Crap, Adult Swim is on!" OR Flair, ever the prankster, loved to sneak up behind Batista and scream: "Fashion Police! You're under arrest!" Batista: "OK, Chris. That guy... over there! He said I was gay! Get him!" After Hunter stamped him with the mark of the maple leaf, Benoit sadly knew that he could never claim that he was from Georgia ever again. Eugene: "Evolution my ass! God created the world in seven days, fool!" With the ref incapacitated, the pinfall is amazingly counted by Eugene's Jacket. The bad wig threw some people off, but, undeniably, JBL had invaded RAW. Hunter should've listened to his mom when she said that he'd go crosseyed if he started at his nose for too long. Last edited by El Santo; 07-27-2004 at 11:56 PM. |
|
|
|
|
07-27-2004, 11:50 PM
|
#22 |
|
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
|
El Santo the Eugene caption was fucking priceless
|
|
|
|
|
07-28-2004, 01:06 AM
|
#23 |
|
A Pittsburgh Original
Posts: 175
|
Coachman's head exploded when he finally got to see what an actual girl looks like. WWE's new "Dance Fever" show wasn't getting over to well. Regal does his famous "French World War II Soldier" Impression. Tyson Tomko finally gets over. Unfortunately for him, it's over the rope. Edge and Jericho both agreed, ten minutes since pulling a guy's pants down was way too long. Kane: Holy hell, you reek of jobber! Matt impressed fans when he did a stiff legged backflip from the floor into the ring and nail Kane with a DDT The wrestlers had to break character when Rosey let one go right in the middle of the ring. Oh, S.H.I.T! The ref, not impressed, calls Edge a loser. Everybody bails when Kane says the words "Rectal Exam!" Rob Conway and the Ref looked into the air. It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Superman! Tajiri tried the flip he saw Matt pull off earlier and nearly disemboweled himself with the rope. Maven: Are you gonna try anything original or entertaining for a change? Ric Flair: Do I LOOK like Bret Hart?! or In retrospect, Superman realized making his tights out of kryptonite was probably a little stupid. Ric Flair botches his rope flip. Not really funny, but fuck Ric Flair anyway. Batista tried desperately to save Rhyno to no avail. Ready...1.....2....3.....HURL! Randy: Why do you have "I love Randy Orton" tattooed on your ass?! Batista botches a double ax handle. The holographic Chris Jericho disappeared after being defeated by the real Chris Jericho. To prove he was more polite than Rosey, Jericho carefully lowered himself outside the ring to let one. THEN MADE RANDY SMELL IT!!!! HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Chris: NO! Don't kick me into the lava pit! Randy: It's a mat, Chris. Randy Orton then impressed the fans by shooting lightning between his hands. Damn, Stevie Ray really let himself go. Ladies and Gentileman, introducing first, the only man on the planet paying more attention to the jersey than the girl in the jersey, The Highlander! the entire Raw roster cheered when Benoit held Triple H down and the ref beat him to death with an X-Box. Benoit decided it's been too long since we'd seen the Buff Blockbuster. I have nothing, so I'll say "Fuck Ric Flair" again. FUCK RIC FLAIR! Triple H was so used to the German over France maneuver that he didn't realize he was actually Japan, and Benoit may be Pearl Harbored now but is about to go Hiroshima on Hunter's left nut. (at a home cookout) Shawn: Hey, do you remember when I had this on... Bret: I reccommend you not finish that sentence. Now back to Wolverines, here on the Discovery Channel. Narrator: At times, a wolverine male will attempt to protect the female, not realing its own strength and occasionally injuring his mate... Batista was shocked that he and Ric's game of 'Cops and Robbers' has somehow ended up on camera. The WWE was kind enough to show the High School football score between Benoit Christian and Hubert H. Humphrey High, tied at a field goal a peace. It distracted the audience from realizing that the staff forgot to put up the ring post. Benoit was suprised not only that Triple H owned Shuriken, not only that he brought them to the ring, but that Triple H's aim was so bad he nailed Ric Flair and Batista when Benoit was only two feet away. Eugene was delighted. The old 'pull the chair' away trick still works. Anybody remember when Eugene jobbed to Ultimate Warrior in under two minutes? >:-D Last edited by The Highlander; 07-28-2004 at 01:35 AM. |
|
|
|
|
07-28-2004, 05:10 AM
|
#24 |
|
A Pittsburgh Original
Posts: 175
|
Randy was frustrated. Nobody pointed the entire show, which by default made him a homo. |
|
|
|
|
07-28-2004, 12:22 PM
|
#25 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
Wow, El Santo, I am in awe. You probably have about twice as many archive-worthy captions as anyone else!
|
|
|
|
|
07-28-2004, 03:10 PM
|
#26 |
|
Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
|
Benoit: Jesus Christ Trips, I'm trying to have a match here and you go limper than Christopher Reeve's legs Crowd, Ref, and Triple H: *gasp* Benoit: Too soon huh |
|
|
|
|
07-28-2004, 10:54 PM
|
#27 |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Some how these fine young ladies knew the votes were rigged when The Coach gave Carmella his 1,046 phone numbers. Rhyno: Hello! I would like to welcome all of you to WWE’s first annual Gluefest, sponsored by Crazy Glue! All: F***ING RHYNO!!!!! Maven: But I’ve been with the company longer! Randy: But I grew up with wrestling! Maven: But I’m friends with Al Snow! Randy: But I’m bed buddies with Triple H! Maven: On that note… I’ll show myself out instead of getting thrown out… Much to the delight of the Raw roster, Triple H was forced to watch his own honeymoon video. Batista: Freakin’ Sweet! This butterfly effect thing really works! |
|
|
|
|
07-28-2004, 11:47 PM
|
#28 | |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Quote:
Anyone.... Am I the only one who knows that song?
|
|
|
|
|
|
07-29-2004, 03:36 AM
|
#29 |
|
#BUCTOBER
Posts: 6,461
|
Always...
It's very familiar to me, but I just can't place it. |
|
|
|
|
07-29-2004, 07:33 AM
|
#30 |
|
The Next Great One н˛
Posts: 18,684
|
I saw a picture of Triple H with the spit somewhere today, Let me go find it...
|
|
|
|
|
07-29-2004, 07:49 AM
|
#31 |
|
The Next Great One н˛
Posts: 18,684
|
here we go, it was in a guys sig.
http://home.comcast.net/~gilorio128/...9/site1269.gif that is gold.
|
|
|
|
|
07-29-2004, 01:03 PM
|
#32 |
|
Posts: 18,357
|
ROFLMAO!!!
|
|
|
|
|
07-29-2004, 10:00 PM
|
#33 |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
How in the hell do I make captions for these pictures? Someone hit me up- s0lid_sn4k3_870@hotmail. rock on.
|
|
|
|
07-30-2004, 12:22 AM
|
#34 |
|
WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
|
JR: BAH GAWD....DDT...DDT! HHH: Wow...now I know how it feels...I deserve to be here |
|
|
|
|
07-30-2004, 02:43 PM
|
#35 | |
|
As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
07-30-2004, 02:52 PM
|
#36 |
|
not gayo
Posts: 7,676
|
I think they've already been done
 I looked at them at like 10pm EST yesterday and there were already like 20 replies. EDIT- my mistake, those were last weeks 
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
