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Old 08-09-2004, 02:51 PM   #1
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Corkscrewed's Contemplations: The Next Great Announcer
The best color commentators thread the other day had me thinking about announcers and truly great ones. Take Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, who I regard as the greatest ever. One quote really stood out in my mind:

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Final Heaven
Gorilla Monsoon: "Roberts with a kick to the lower occipital proturbance!"
Heenan: "Why do you always use those scientific terms during the match?"
Goriila: "You should try it sometime! You might like it!"
*Roberts hits a punch to the gut*
Heenan: "A PUNCH TO THE UTERUS!"
Stuff like that is just plain ingenius. I don't think Monsoon, Heenan, and Roberts would all collaborate just to get that little verbal segment done, so basically, that had to be a spur of the moment thing. Really, how many people period can you think of could have come up with a line like that? Practically nobody.

It got me thinking... WWE announcers these days just aren't good. JR and Lawler used to be a good tandem until JR started botching just about everything and King turned into a horny pedophile. Cole and Tazz aren't horrible, but they're by no means great. Heyman made for a pretty good announcer, but he wasn't given enough time, and I doubt he'll be announcing anytime soon.

So when will we see the next great announcer or announcing team? We don't often think about it, but a great announcing team can really enhance WWE programming a lot! They add unique tastes to the match and can put over a wrestler better than the guy's opponent sometimes! Those truly great guys make matches memorable, either through a tremendous call or through those witty punchlines that make you burst out loud laughing.

Sadly, I cannot forsee any one claiming that title anytime soon. JR and Lawler have been on the decline for quite a while, and Tazz and Cole agree too much to be much fun. Cole, personally, is pretty dull and is a whipping boy, while Tazz just isn't at the level that a great announcer should be. Possible future successors, like perhaps Josh Matthews or maybe Al Snow don't show much promise either... Matthews being Michael Cole II and Snow not really having anyone to play off of.

I suppose a current wrestler might make for a good announcer one day... so I guess you can discuss that. My main point was just the lamentation of the downturn in quality in this field of wrestling and a cry for the good ol' days... with people like Heenan, Ventura, Monsoon... heck, even an early Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler (his Jake Roberts jokes still have me off the seat when I read them).

As it is... we'll probably have to wait a decade at least before the next verbal master comes our way, if even that.
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Old 08-09-2004, 03:56 PM   #2
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WWE should follow what TNA's doing. They have one of the best wrestling announcers on the market, Mike Tenay. Maybe some poaching is order... I was also suprised that Gene Okerland was back working for WWE, but they weren't doing anything with him. I mean, from when Vince got in ownership of the company, up until the mid-90's "Mean" Gene was pretty much the voice of the company. It doesn't sound like his voice has deteriorated or anything, so at least get him backstage doing interviews or something. That's just my opinion tho
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Old 08-09-2004, 04:00 PM   #3
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Good point. I kinda forgot about Gene... I think he'd be better than anything they currently have too.
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Old 08-09-2004, 04:18 PM   #4
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Heenan was the man
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Old 08-09-2004, 04:22 PM   #5
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Heenan is the man
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Old 08-09-2004, 04:25 PM   #6
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Heenan is the God of sports entertainment commentary.

Heyman was amusing, but about 50% of that was just him making JR look like an ass.
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Old 08-09-2004, 09:58 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdwaVer
Heenan is the God of sports entertainment commentary.

Heyman was amusing, but about 50% of that was just him making JR look like an ass.
my personal favorite example of this, was when Heyman was doing an imitation of JR's voice.... the abrasive chemistry of the two of them was really funny.
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Old 08-09-2004, 04:28 PM   #8
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Tazz is the best today ever since he stopped saying.....Here comes the pain!
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Old 08-09-2004, 04:31 PM   #9
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????
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Old 08-09-2004, 05:16 PM   #10
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Yeah, Heyman was pretty good.
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Old 08-09-2004, 05:21 PM   #11
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Someday, when the way of the wrestler has long passed them, I hope to see Edge & Christian as ringside commentators.
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Old 08-09-2004, 05:22 PM   #12
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That could be gold.
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Old 08-09-2004, 05:47 PM   #13
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Regal and Jericho would both be great IMO
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Old 08-09-2004, 05:49 PM   #14
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Rock, Jericho.
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Old 08-09-2004, 06:09 PM   #15
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Heyman had been the best announcer in the WWE since the mid 90s.
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Old 08-09-2004, 10:24 PM   #16
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Quote:
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Heyman had been the best announcer in the WWE since the mid 90s.

Yes Heyman had humor like Hennan, Knowledge like Solie, and a Voice to be the greatest commentator ever.
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Old 08-10-2004, 01:05 PM   #17
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^ Second greatest.
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Old 08-10-2004, 05:06 PM   #18
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Heenan and Heyman are the greatest
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Old 08-10-2004, 08:55 PM   #19
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Heenan and Heyman are the greatest
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Old 08-10-2004, 05:50 PM   #20
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Heyman was good because he could do the three greate things

1) He could make you laugh with his wit
2) He could genuinly put the heels over
3) He was enemies with his co-annnoucer JR

All greate commentry teams used to wind each other up, when Heenan was involved with managing, him and monsoon would go at it, one example at the top of my head is leading up to survior series 92, when perfect turned,

The problem with JR and the King, is there too much of freinds, they dont bicker and argue like a good announcing team do, they nearly always agree and king has become so weak at putting heels over, all he talks about now is the women

When King came in he was greate, he was a true heel commentator, and thats what both brands are lacking in a commentry team at the moment a true heel commentator,
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Old 08-10-2004, 09:14 PM   #21
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Tenay and Styles were great because they were able to call the wrestling matches, know all of the moves. I mean Michael Cole sits there and calls everything a slam, or an awesome move.
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Old 08-11-2004, 12:53 AM   #22
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I think WCW in the '96-'98 period had the best announcing team of all time. You had Mike Tenay, who could call a match move-for-move while giving you the wrestlers' back-stories and whatnot all at the same time, all without skipping a beat. You had Tony Schiavone, who didn't know a damn thing about a damn thing, but he at least made it sound exciting. And then you had Bobby Heenan, who was, well, Bobby Heenan. Every now and then you'd get Zybysko, who wasn't in Heenan's league but made for a nice substitute, or Dusty Rhodes, who absolutely defines the term "unintentional hillarity."

Anyways, out of today's crowd, I'd say the best announcing team is Tazz and Cole. They can be a little irritating, but when they're in top form, they're absolute gold (listen to their alternate commentary on the Chris Benoit DVD to see what I mean)
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