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Old 08-29-2004, 08:00 AM   #1
KayfabeMan
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2,000th Post - Wrestling By Post 3,000
After 40 long years of visiting TPWW.net (OK, not quite that long), I have finally made it to my 2,000th post. First, I'd like to "send shoutouts to all of my homies" - or whatever - to:Joey Radd, Kane Knight, Mayo, The Ravishing One, Loose Cannon, The Prodigy, Funky Fly - and a bunch of others I've left out because I couldn't get their signatures on the mentioning release forms.

Now on to the wrestling part of this post...In the spirit of Conan's "In The Year 2000" skits, I have decided to feature "By My Post - 3,000th"...a look into the future, and what wrestling will be like by the time I make my 3,000th post here on TPWW (feel free to add your own as well).....

BY MY POST - 3,000th
*Carlito Caribbean Cool will be referred to as a "Caribbean Legend", and then will have a series of Caribbean Strap Matches with a returning Steve Austin.

*Bret Hart will return to the WWE, and the announcers will introduce him as being from Atlanta, Georgia

*In an effort to further re-hash the past, WWE will turn Kenzo Suzuki face - and will team him with a returning Rock. The two will no longer wrestle, but will produce highly-comedical skits such as "Kenzo Vice" & "Ken-Y-P-D Blue".

*Jeff Jarrett will lose the NWA-TNA Belt.....He will then realize it was under his couch cushion the entire time.

*The WWE Staff will finally figure out what to do with half of the misused talents on their roster - fire them. They will then hire back all of D-X, the entire nWo, and The Original Four Horsemen in an attempt to gain ratings.

*Brock Lesnar will return to the WWE and will be assigned to talk over his matches with Pat Patterson. When he finds out that Patterson is gay and enjoys AOL, he will again leave the WWE, this time to run for President in 2008. He will (of course) have the backing of George W. Bush....

*William Regal will once again wear his "Man's Man" construction attire. He will then form a stable by bringing back many of his old friends from WCW, including The Big Bossman, Joe Gomez, and Craig Pittman. They will then refer to themselves as "The Village Of People".

*William Hung will become Smackdown! Co-GM with Teddy Long. Long & Hung merchandise sales will go through the roof, and WWE will once again become a major business force.

*Ted Turner will get back into the wrestling business,and using his standing as a great wildlife supporter,will receive full-rights to the letters "WWF" from The Fund. Vince McMahon will then shit himself
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Old 08-29-2004, 08:12 AM   #2
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*Christain and Chris Jericho will be in the main event scene (perhaps that's wishful thinking by me)
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Old 08-29-2004, 10:16 AM   #3
Loose Cannon
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Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
LOL at all of them. "Kenzo Vice" haha. I never saw the "Fuji Vice" skit or the other ones, but I heard they were hillarious and people began to cheer Fuji and Murraco because of them.

And Congrats on 2K
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Old 08-29-2004, 11:25 AM   #4
AareDub
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Congrats KayfabeMan, lets hope nobody of importance reads this thread and gets any ideas. Although I would love to see some Ken-Y-P-D Blue skits
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Old 08-29-2004, 11:56 AM   #5
King Jericho
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LOL, some sweet skits.

Congrats!
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Old 08-29-2004, 11:58 AM   #6
King Jericho
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Also....

Vince will hire an new wrestler with awesome technical skills and call him....Bart Hart,
then Vince will have him continually job in main event spots for the next two years or so.
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Old 08-29-2004, 12:04 PM   #7
AareDub
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Sunday Night Heat will once again become a recap show..... a Diva Search recap show. Then after years of (un)successful Diva Searches, it will turn into Sunday Night Extreme Diva Volleyball.
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Old 08-29-2004, 12:34 PM   #8
Rob
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Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)Rob has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)
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Old 08-29-2004, 12:39 PM   #9
MVP
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Pretty funny write up there Kayfabe.

Congrats and all that.
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Old 08-29-2004, 12:48 PM   #10
JT
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*Paul Heyman will once again find sucess at the old ECW Arena...when he wins a round of bingo.*
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Old 08-29-2004, 01:11 PM   #11
Xero
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Congrats!

Anyway:

- Bret Hart will be signed to a 10 year contract, wrestle one match, Vince will screw him, and fire him.

- The Undertaker will go with an all new gimmick. It will be the American Bad Hiney. He will create the new Right to Censor, and whenever someone curses, he comes out, says something like "Bitch is such a bad word, use bad lady" and leaves.

- Triple H will divorce Steph, Vince will divorce Linda, and Vince and Hunter will live happily ever after.

- WWE will sign a new giant. He will be called "Bart the Bad", and use stepping on his opponent's head while THEY'RE still standing as his finisher.

- The Cruserweights will go on strike for not having enough air time and Vince will be happy.

- Triple H will gain back the World Heavyweight Championship, and will win the IC and Tag titles. He will jump to SmackDown, and win the WWE Championship, the US title, the cruserweight title, and the SD Tag Titles. He will go back to RAW and win the Women's championship. He will also win the Diva's Search. Vince will finally realise how much of an ass Hunter is and give him more titles.

- Eugene will be hit in the head with an anvil and be normal.

- The 256th Divas Search will be on.
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Old 08-29-2004, 06:02 PM   #12
Funky Fly
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LOL good stuff, Kayfabe.
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Old 08-29-2004, 08:56 PM   #13
Mayo
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HAHA pretty funny stuff.

You have tremendous knowledge about what former wrestlers are currently doing. I have no idea where you obtain such knowledge, but I hope it's legal

Congrats on 2K, and keep up the great posting
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Old 08-30-2004, 03:35 PM   #14
sensai86
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Congranks on 2k post

"Some fall short, some come stong, but with Sensai you get's no dice baby!!!"
-sensai86
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Old 08-30-2004, 05:55 PM   #15
SuperSlim
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congrats on teh 2k and you actually had some good stuff there.
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Old 08-30-2004, 06:20 PM   #16
Watson
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Congratulations on reaching 2,000 posts, Kayfabe. You truly are the Most Valuable Poster in the wrestling forums. Your posts are always interesting to read whether they are informative, humorous, serious, or downright lOoNeY they are always highly entertaining. You sir are the man. Keep up the excellent posts.
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Old 08-30-2004, 06:21 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KayfabeMan
*Jeff Jarrett will lose the NWA-TNA Belt.....He will then realize it was under his couch cushion the entire time.
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Old 08-30-2004, 06:27 PM   #18
LK
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- Internet marks everywhere will be complaining about Kenzo Suzuki becoming the new WWE champion after a 60 minute Iron man match with JBL
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Old 08-30-2004, 07:27 PM   #19
loopydate
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* Triple H will again tear his quadricep saving a tag team partner from the Walls of Jericho. However, upon realizing that this is 2004 and Chris Jericho, he no-sells the tear and wins the match anyway.

* Vince McMahon will learn that Rhyno's name is an anagram of "horny," get the giggles, and die of a heart attack.

* Brock Lesnar will form a tag team with the Berzerker, only to be cut. (Wait for it...)

* Randall K. Orton will announce that he has bought a fledgling movie studio and that he's planning on releasing an epic film called "Citizen Kane" starring Glen Jacobs as a monster-turned-magnate.

* Kenzo Suzuki will make an abrupt retirement, opting to focus on his brand of motorcycles.

* Lita will die when, in a freak accident, she botches breathing.

* Hardcore Holly will make an appearance in a late-night Cinemax movie and be forced to change his name.
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Old 08-31-2004, 01:16 PM   #20
The Ravishing One
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LOL

Congratulations buddy on the 2,000th post!

Thanks for the personal shout out aswell, i feel loved
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Old 08-31-2004, 01:27 PM   #21
Sephiroth
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Congrats dude, keep up the good work
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Old 09-01-2004, 11:24 AM   #22
tucsonspeed6
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Dateline, Post 3000:

Viewers of Spike TV were shocked last night when Raw aired it's 500th consecutive Raw Diva Search segment. After nearly ten years, the search appeared to be finally wrapping up, but in a swerve to the lovely ladies, World Heavyweight Champion Rosey announced that a new 16 divas would be enter the competition. It would have been the 127th time in the competition's history that such a swerve was announced.

Some notable happenings on the show:

Joy's newest son's latest paternaty test still shows no sign of a father. The WWE offered to give the tests to the men most likely to be the father until a true father was found, but no luck yet. Thus far, those tested were: Test, Shawn Michaels, HHH, Spike Dudley, Booker T, Eric Bischoff, Jazz, Earl Hebner, Hulk Hogan, Mark Henry, John Heidenrich, Eugene, Rene Dupree's dog Fifi, Al Wilson, and Sadam Hussein. Joy commented on the situation saying, "Carmella is a slut!"

Jonathan Coachman cut a promo with the ladies last night, but had to stop midway to sneeze. Because it's live television, the sneeze aired. Many internet fans are notably furious at Carmella for her lack of concern for Coach's plight, and rumor is spreading that the WWE has actually trained Carmella to act heelish because the contest is rigged for her to win sometime around year 15.

And in another attempt to stand out from the rest of the ladies, Christy (aka: the spunky redhead) shat and urinated in a glass jar, calling the concoction a "tequilla sunrise." She then drank the urine and swallowed the feces, which she called "the worm", and immediately vomited it back up and sat on it insisting that her "butt was hungry." After the show, an annonymous internet fan was noted to say, "God damn that's HOT! I'm gonna vote for her!"
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