WWE SmackDOWN! Captions [1-1-2004]

**Corkscrewed** · 01-02-2004, 03:51 AM

It's a new year, so lets start off the captions with a bang with my best batch ever!!!! (well, probably not, but whatever).

The Japanese always did enjoy jello shots off the back.

Brian Hebner kicked off 2004 with another case of biased abuse of power, using Tajiri to hold Mysterio in place as the ref slapped the luchador silly.

In the spirit of the Mile High Club, Tajiri and Mysterio form their own Six Feet Above the Apron Club.

The poor Japanese never get a break. They already have Godzilla to worry about, and now, even superheroes like Spiderman are starting to push them around!

Tajiri would not stop until he had sucked in the souls of every SmackDOWN! referee in the building.

The good news was that Rey had just won the Cruiserweight Title. The bad news was that Vince, afraid a small guy might get too popular, had let loose a black parasitic ringworm that was now burrowing itself into Rey's chest.

(Wow, so many ways you could go with this one.)
Rey was really concerned when Big Show unveiled the new company banner, which read: "The only ones who will get pushed are the BIGG."

Somewhere in the back, from a dark, locked room, Sean O'Haire screamed, "LIARS!!!"

Since no one got him an Ortonbot over Christmas, Big Show decided to get a Rey Mysterio Life Size Squeeze Toy for himself.

It's sad that Holly has to rely on Mysterio's pops to get any reaction from the fans at all now.

Bradshaw looked far at the flaming thing crashing to the ground. Yup, that was Rhyno's career all right.

This was just great. Tonight was going to be the night that Nunzio unveiled his new sexy silk wrestling trunks, and Palumbo and Stamboli just had to wear the exact same types at the same time as well!

Benoit: "Um, John, your nose has a leak."

Cena would have been more focused on the match had it not been for the Jehovah's Witness praying for him at the lower right corner.

Who'da thought we ever see the day when someone was carrying Benoit in a match?

Cena hoisted the sacrifice in preparation for the Altar of Helmsley while a referee-priest did his worshipping as part of the ceremony.

Benoit wasn't sure if Shanniqua wanted the jaw or the whole mouth this time, so he figured it'd be best to just rip off the whole head to bring back to her.

Angle paused mid-promo when he spotted a sign that said "Milk Sucks!"

You know you're a worthless bitch when even the Big Show starts pimp slapping you around.

Ever the nice guy, Big Show covered up Holly's ears when the boos started kicking in. This way, maybe Bob would think the fans were cheering him.

Heyman was obviously irritated when, for the sixtieth time, Dawn suggested rehashing the old Al Wilson love angle.

Pushed or not pushed, NO ONE could beat Chris Benoit in Thumb War.

Eddie Guerrero wasn't too shabby either, plus he could do it with style!

Eddie Guerrero's heel turn began when he stopped and forced everyone in the arena to listen to the Mexican National Anthem, Bret Hart style (except with Mexico, not Canada

).

Nick Patrick: "Hey, you lost your Precious that was tied to this string!"
Eddie (Smeagol style): "Not listening! Not listening!"

Chavo had obviously gotten a concussion, as evidenced when he confused Charlie Haas with another blond-haired WWE Superstar and assumed The Hunter Position (#2).

Chavo: "Eddie, what the heck are you doing still pointing at your knees??? That running caption gag went out months ago!!!"

Chavo: "No, ERES homosexual!"

OR

Chavo's new Latino Hulk Hogan gimmick wasn't starting off so well.

Ever the man of many skills, Angle shot a plasma orb at Eddie to knock him out and calm him down.

This message was immediately followed by a second screen that read: "...to those of you who aren't being buried this year. If you are, oh well."

01-02-2004, 03:51 AM	#1
Corkscrewed Posts: 18,357	WWE SmackDOWN! Captions [1-1-2004] It's a new year, so lets start off the captions with a bang with my best batch ever!!!! (well, probably not, but whatever). The Japanese always did enjoy jello shots off the back. Brian Hebner kicked off 2004 with another case of biased abuse of power, using Tajiri to hold Mysterio in place as the ref slapped the luchador silly. In the spirit of the Mile High Club, Tajiri and Mysterio form their own Six Feet Above the Apron Club. The poor Japanese never get a break. They already have Godzilla to worry about, and now, even superheroes like Spiderman are starting to push them around! Tajiri would not stop until he had sucked in the souls of every SmackDOWN! referee in the building. The good news was that Rey had just won the Cruiserweight Title. The bad news was that Vince, afraid a small guy might get too popular, had let loose a black parasitic ringworm that was now burrowing itself into Rey's chest. (Wow, so many ways you could go with this one.) Rey was really concerned when Big Show unveiled the new company banner, which read: "The only ones who will get pushed are the BIGG." Somewhere in the back, from a dark, locked room, Sean O'Haire screamed, "LIARS!!!" Since no one got him an Ortonbot over Christmas, Big Show decided to get a Rey Mysterio Life Size Squeeze Toy for himself. It's sad that Holly has to rely on Mysterio's pops to get any reaction from the fans at all now. Bradshaw looked far at the flaming thing crashing to the ground. Yup, that was Rhyno's career all right. This was just great. Tonight was going to be the night that Nunzio unveiled his new sexy silk wrestling trunks, and Palumbo and Stamboli just had to wear the exact same types at the same time as well! Benoit: "Um, John, your nose has a leak." Cena would have been more focused on the match had it not been for the Jehovah's Witness praying for him at the lower right corner. Who'da thought we ever see the day when someone was carrying Benoit in a match? Cena hoisted the sacrifice in preparation for the Altar of Helmsley while a referee-priest did his worshipping as part of the ceremony. Benoit wasn't sure if Shanniqua wanted the jaw or the whole mouth this time, so he figured it'd be best to just rip off the whole head to bring back to her. Angle paused mid-promo when he spotted a sign that said "Milk Sucks!" You know you're a worthless bitch when even the Big Show starts pimp slapping you around. Ever the nice guy, Big Show covered up Holly's ears when the boos started kicking in. This way, maybe Bob would think the fans were cheering him. Heyman was obviously irritated when, for the sixtieth time, Dawn suggested rehashing the old Al Wilson love angle. Pushed or not pushed, NO ONE could beat Chris Benoit in Thumb War. Eddie Guerrero wasn't too shabby either, plus he could do it with style! Eddie Guerrero's heel turn began when he stopped and forced everyone in the arena to listen to the Mexican National Anthem, Bret Hart style (except with Mexico, not Canada ). Nick Patrick: "Hey, you lost your Precious that was tied to this string!" Eddie (Smeagol style): "Not listening! Not listening!" Chavo had obviously gotten a concussion, as evidenced when he confused Charlie Haas with another blond-haired WWE Superstar and assumed The Hunter Position (#2). Chavo: "Eddie, what the heck are you doing still pointing at your knees??? That running caption gag went out months ago!!!" Chavo: "No, ERES homosexual!" OR Chavo's new Latino Hulk Hogan gimmick wasn't starting off so well. Ever the man of many skills, Angle shot a plasma orb at Eddie to knock him out and calm him down. This message was immediately followed by a second screen that read: "...to those of you who aren't being buried this year. If you are, oh well."