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Old 11-06-2004, 12:22 AM   #1
Loose Cannon
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Parody: WWE ROSTER CUTS.
Hey, I haven't done one of these in a while. I think it's time though.


WWE ROSTER CUTS


, Johnny Ace, Vince, HHH, Steph, Shane, Taker and JR all are sitting around a table in a pretty decent sized room


Vince: Alright Gentlemen, as you may or may not know.


HHH. Probably Not


Vince ......good one son. Well as you may Not know, we've been having some big money issues the past few months.


Steph



Vince: It seems I've been paying our superstars a little too much money



HHH and Taker


Vince: Well, here's my plan. We're going to make some roster cuts right now. We will go through some of your suggestions about who should be cut and then we will make our decisions.


Steph: You mean mine and Hunter's decision, right daddy?


Vince:


Shane:


Vince: Um Shane, is there a problem?.....Great, why don't you run and get everybody some coffee. Thanks kid.


*Shane storms out


Ace: Okay Vince, you want to start with the Heat and Velocity Rosters first?



Vince: The Who?


Taker and HHH:


JR: SMACKDOWN REBOUND KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Whole Room:


ACE: You know Vince, the two shows on the weekends that don't draw a lot of viewers.



Steph: Cancel both shows and release all those guys DADDY. YAYYYY:



Vince: HMMMMMM, Nah, not this time But some of these superstars on these so called "WWE SHOWS" will have to go.



HHH: Heyyyyyy UHHHHHH Vince UHHHHH?


Vince: Yes Son


HHH: Well UHHHHHH, Test UHHHHH, He's Just Not Cutting the Mustard UHHHHH. I think he needs to go UHHHHHHHH.



JR: BROKEN NECK... DAMM HIM TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Taker: Someone check JR's battery dammit.


Vince: Well son, he's got a broken neck. That might be a tad bit unethical to fire him.........



Wait, what am I saying here... Ethics TEST: YOU'RE FIRED hahahaha. That's 1



HHH Good Choice UHHHHHHHHH



Steph: Huuurayyyyyy for daddy



JR: DAMMIT, HE'S GOT A FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Taker:


Ace: Well Vince, since you're firing people who aren't even working cause of problems, Billy Gunn has got a drug problem. What do you think?


Vince: Well since we have a no drug policy around here and......



HHH



Vince: ....I can't really keep guys around that continue to abuse our system.....Billy Gunn, YOU'RE.......WAIT WAIT, I can't do it. Billy has been with the company for years.......


WAIT, WHO GIVES A DAM, YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRED hahahaha That's 2


HHH: I saw A-Train popping pills yestersay.


VINCE: FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3



***Steph Claps


HHH


JR: HIP HOP HIPPO, DE-RAILER... NO NO, DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Taker: Hey, A-Train was my freind


TAKER: Oh yeah Well I hear Gail Kim and Nidia think Steph is a WHORE


VINCE: WHAT???? FIRRRRRRRREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THAT'S 5


HHH: DAMMIT TAKER, I wasn't finished with them yet


Steph: What Hunter?


HHH: Nothing baby


Taker


JR: NO GOOD JEZEBEL, GET HER AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!!!!!!



ACE: .....UMMMMM, OOOOKAYYY. Well we haven't really eliminated anybody from eathier Heat or Velocity yet.


Vince: So, who the hell wrestlers on these shows Johnny?


ACE: Well we got........



*Chuck Palumbo walks in



Chuckie P: Hey guys, sorry to bother you. But I was just wanted your feedback on my new gimmick I debuted on HEAT THIS WEEK



VINCE: WHAT THE FUCK? YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEDD


HHH and Taker:



STEPH


JR: NATURAL BORN THRILLER CHUCK AND BILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Palumbo It was Billy and Chuck


*Palumbo leaves.
Last edited by Loose Cannon; 11-06-2004 at 02:28 PM.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:22 AM   #2
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Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Vince: Who the hell was that guy? WHATEVER. Let's move on.


ACE: UMMM Vince, I hope you know you just let Billy and Chuck go. They were a tag team here once........


HHH


Ace: .......and they might sign with TNA and use that.


VINCE: TNA? What are they going to become pornstars now?


Steph: YAYYYY FOR PORNO DADDY


Vince: Yes hunny.


ACE: Okay, well, Rodney Mack was also on Heat this week Vince.



Vince: And Who is this now?



HHH: OHHHHHHH UHHHHHH Vince, YOU UHHHHH gave him a little Push once, but he didn't UHHHHHHH catch on with the fans UHHHHHH.


VINCE: HMMMMMM, FAILED PUSH, HEAT.....Ummmmm....


HHH: Oh and He's Black



VINCE: FIRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEED That's........fuck, lost count



Taker He has a wife that works here too Vince.



Vince: Which one?




Taker: Jazz


Vince: Well she doesn't work here anymore. HAHAHAHA FIIIIIIRRRRRRRREDD


JR: BLACKOUT BLACKOUT BLACKOUT.....BACK THE MACK........BAH GAWD IT'S JAZZ, WHERE''D SHE COME FROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


STEPH: Daddy, JR is making me a scared.



Vince: Jesus, where is Shane with our coffee. JR needs new batteries


ACE: Okay Vince, well we need to cut someone from Velocity then.


Vince: Jesus. who the fuck made these shows?


STEPH


VINCE: Alright let me see that list......


**Vince Closes eyes and puts his finger on one of the names...


VINCE: OKAY.. JOHNNY STROMBOLI......YOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIRED


HHH: Stromboli WAIT ........ I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO BURY HIM DAMMIT.


TAKER: OH, I GOT HIM


HHH: Alright


VINCE: PHEWWWW, I'm Tired. Okay, One More Guys. Who Shall It Be?


Taker: Y2J's Not Cutting the Mustard UHHHHHHHHHH.


VINCE: NO NO NO, Benoit is pretty good.


JR: RABBBID WOLVERINE.....HE'S FINALLY DONE IT...FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*Rico walks in w/ Miss Jackie


Rico: Hi, Excuse me Vince, but there was a little problem with my pay check this week. You see, I'm suppossed to get $2,000 more.


* Vince looks at check


VINCE: What? We are paying you this much?


RICO: It's the Bare Minimum Vince.


Vince: Oh Well in that case......LET'S MAKE IT EVEN LESS. I don't know who you are, BUT YOU'RE FIRRRRRRREEEEEDDDD...... But let the girl stay here.


Rico leaves crying


Steph: DADDY IS THE GREATEST DADDY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD



HHH Did you see that guy? He looked LIKE A FAG.



Ace: It was his gimmick Hunter. It was actually over too.



HHH: WAS OVER



JR: UNORTHODOX STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STRANGE ONE THAT RICO!!!!!!!!



Vince: Okay Boys, that's it for today. I'll see all of you later.



* Everyone leaves except Vince and Miss Jackie


*4 minutes later in the same room


VINCE: Oh Yeah, Who's the Genetic Jackhammer Baby?


Miss Jackie: *cough cough* you are Mr. McMahon


END OF DAY.
Last edited by Loose Cannon; 11-06-2004 at 02:29 PM.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:57 AM   #3
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ROFL

BTW, at the shane storms out part, you put [i/] and screwed up the tag, but I fixed it.
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Old 11-06-2004, 01:05 AM   #4
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Excellent.
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Old 11-06-2004, 01:08 AM   #5
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LMAO at the "YAAAAAAAY FOR PORNO DADDY!" line.


You sir are my hero!
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Old 11-06-2004, 01:43 AM   #6
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LMAO! Maybe you should do one where they move the brands back together.
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Old 11-06-2004, 01:58 AM   #7
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I liked the way you made Steph seem really....off....mentally, and had that Undertaker/Triple H thing, as well as making Johnny Ace and Shane McMahon the only compotent people there.
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Old 11-06-2004, 02:47 AM   #8
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BAH GAWD LCKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-06-2004, 02:52 AM   #9
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Funny shit.
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Old 11-06-2004, 03:33 AM   #10
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lol
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Old 11-06-2004, 04:18 AM   #11
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HHH: How's it going Dad?

Vince: Pretty good, Son.

HHH: You know Dad, I was thinking that the roster is way too oversized, and one of these guys might actually win my belt. (snickers under breathe). So I'm going to call today roster cut day.

Vince: Whatever you say, you're the boss.

HHH: Damn straight I am. Hey Dad, did you that..

*Shane walks into room*

Shane: Hey Dad.

Vince: Who the fuck are you?!

Shane: Your son...

Vince:

Shane: Shane. Shane McMahon.

*Vince looks over at HHH*

Vince: Oh.. oh yeah. You.

Shane: Anyways Dad, I was thinking that since you are retiring soon and all..

Vince: Actually, what's your name again? Sam? My Son HHH here will be taking over the company when I retire.

Shane: What?! What?! I can't believe this! I've waited my whole life and..

HHH: yooooooooure fiiiired shane!!!

*Chris Benoit walks into room*

Benoit: Hey Vince, I was thinking that I could get another World Heavyweight Title shot? This time though the fans won't get tired of it because

HHH: No.. not going to work Chris.

Benoit: And why not?

HHH: Cause yoooooure fiiired Chris!!!

Vince: Are.. are you sure you wanted to do that? He was one of our top draws and ratings have been low as of late.

HHH: Shut up.

Vince: Yes sir.

HHH: You know Vincent, I was thinking that I might go for the intercontinetal championship tonight.

Vince: But.. that already belongs to

HHH: I don't care. Whoever has it make sure he jobs to me tonight.

*HHH goes on to win the intercontinental championship*

Later that night...

HHH: Boy Vince, this sure is the life.

*Vince looking at the ratings*

Vince: WTF IS THIS? Ratings went down again?!

HHH: Vince.. you know I think I also want to go for the tag team titles as well next week.

Vince: Ok, who is going to be your partner?

HHH: Nobody. Just me. Whoever are the tag champs by then make sure they lose to me in a handicap match.

*HHH goes on to win the match and now has the World Heavyweight Championship, Intercontinetnal championship, and both tag team championships*

*Trish walks through door and HHH sees the Women's title. His eyes light up*

HHH: Trish... yooooooure fiiiiiiired!!!

*Trish walks out crying and HHH picks up Women's title*

HHH: You know, I dont feel like i have enough belts Vince. Make the WWE Championship come from smackdown and over here to RAW.

*JBL walks through door*

JBL: Vince, what the hell's going on here?

HHH: Hey, nice belt. yoooooure fiiiiired bradshaw!!!

3 days later WWE goes out of business.
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Old 11-06-2004, 04:32 AM   #12
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^ Kinda died on the second half.

But LMAO at Steph.
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Old 11-06-2004, 04:44 AM   #13
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yeah it sucked. meh.
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Old 11-06-2004, 09:33 AM   #14
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LMAO
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Old 11-06-2004, 09:38 AM   #15
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Funnies thing ever......LOL LOL LOL
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Old 11-06-2004, 10:16 AM   #16
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That was lame and overdone.
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Old 11-06-2004, 10:54 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple H
That was lame and overdone.
Shut up you dick.
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Old 11-06-2004, 11:53 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Danny Electric
Shut up you dick.
Shut up?

Do you know who I am?

No one, especially some little internet geek, tells me what to do.

I answer to NO ONE.

*spits out water*
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple H
Shut up?

Do you know who I am?

No one, especially some little internet geek, tells me what to do.

I answer to NO ONE.

*spits out water*
I feel sorry for you. I truly do.
Do me favour, get AIDS and die.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:12 PM   #20
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I feel sorry for you. I truly do.
Do me favour, get AIDS and die.
I think you should be banned.
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Old 11-06-2004, 10:58 AM   #21
Loose Cannon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple H
That was lame and overdone.
Thanks Hunter I love your wrestling
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Old 11-06-2004, 11:49 AM   #22
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Thanks Hunter I love your wrestling
Thanks.

Now just for you, I'll put myself on Raw 10 extra minutes Monday night.
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Old 11-06-2004, 11:35 AM   #23
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BTW: at LC's parody, well done
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Old 11-06-2004, 11:50 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by 123 kid
STFU big nose, I'd like to see you do better, now go back to ass-licking Vince
You're just jealous that you can't be as successful as me.

Now go back to your job at McDonalds little boy.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:31 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Triple H
You're just jealous that you can't be as successful as me.

Now go back to your job at McDonalds little boy.
go back to boning vince.
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Old 11-06-2004, 10:47 AM   #26
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Lmao
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Old 11-06-2004, 11:00 AM   #27
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Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Oh and Thanks to everyone else for the kind words besides Hunter
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:07 PM   #28
Splaya
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Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Splaya got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Can we get to the banning already?
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:09 PM   #29
Triple H
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Splaya
Can we get to the banning already?
Once again, I have done nothing wrong.

I say how that parody wasn't funny (which is the truth) and you guys unfairly attact me.

If anyone should be banned is the people who told me to shut up.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:29 PM   #30
thecc
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thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)thecc is good (20,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Splaya
Can we get to the banning already?
D-VON GET THE BAN HAMMER!!!!


Btw LC i really enjoyed that parody
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:19 PM   #31
Loose Cannon
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Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Fuckin Christ. Bye Bye you Piece of Shit.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:20 PM   #32
HankScorpio
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HankScorpio is pretty cool (5,000+)HankScorpio is pretty cool (5,000+)HankScorpio is pretty cool (5,000+)HankScorpio is pretty cool (5,000+)
It only takes one big nosed dick to ruin a thread
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:21 PM   #33
Loose Cannon
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Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
it will be cleaned up in a sec. I'm doing 12 things at once right now though.
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Old 11-06-2004, 12:31 PM   #34
MVP
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MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)MVP has a relatively large amount of rep (50,000+)
ROFL at the whole thread, especially JR.
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Old 11-06-2004, 02:07 PM   #35
Semetery
 
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Semetery does not have that much rep yet (10+)
LOL! I loved that first parody, but the second one was just too... poor effort.
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Old 11-06-2004, 02:30 PM   #36
Loose Cannon
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Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)Loose Cannon got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MVP
ROFL at the whole thread, especially JR.
JR was my favorite one too. So was Steph.

I mean how many times did Jazz come back from an injury and JR would be like "It's Jazz, where'd she come from."
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Old 11-06-2004, 01:04 PM   #37
Triple H
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That was lame.
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Old 11-06-2004, 02:12 PM   #38
John la Rock
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John la Rock is pretty cool (5,000+)John la Rock is pretty cool (5,000+)John la Rock is pretty cool (5,000+)John la Rock is pretty cool (5,000+)
the jokes are so old but still funny
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Old 11-06-2004, 03:34 PM   #39
Savio
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Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Savio makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)
I liked every thing exceot steph.
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Old 11-06-2004, 04:22 PM   #40
Funky Fly
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Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)Funky Fly makes a lot of good posts (200,000+)
LOL @ LC's quality control.
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