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11-07-2004, 12:06 AM
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#1 |
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Posts: 2,064
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Wrestling Quotes
"I'd rather go down to the San Diego Zoo, dressed like a pork chop, and jump in the lion's pen." - Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, on the prospect of having to wrestle Chris Benoit
"Luke is so dumb, if they were twins, he wouldn't know when his brother's birthday was." - Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, on The Bushwhackers "I have never been in a position where somebody has asked me to put my body on the line. I have always offered it." - Mick Foley, on giving it his all "Deep down, I don't think Vince believed that to be true (that "Brew screwed Bret"). I think Vince believed, like I believe, that Vince screwed Bret; but by playing it the other way, I think he subtly became a heel in the minds of millions of people." - Mick Foley, on the Montreal controversy, and the introduction of the "Mr. McMahon" character "I hope Frank McCourt doesn't take it too hard." - - Mick Foley, when his book passed Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes" to become the number one seller in the country "Maybe if you're out of toilet paper, you could use a couple of the pages." - Jerry "The King" Lawler, after saying Foley's book was good bathroom reading "Triple H may wear the pants in the family, but I think Stephanie tells him what pants to wear." - Jerry "The King" Lawler "If I told Moolah to act her age, she'd die." - Jerry "The King" Lawler "The trouble with boxing is that it lacks credibility." - Vince McMahon "And the Pope was free!" - Gene Okerlund, on more than 90,000 wrestling fans coming to Pontiac Silverdome, 5,000 more than cam to see the Pope the following week "To be the man, you've got to beat the man." - Ric Flair, his motto "The worst kept secret in the world is that I hate Hollywood Hulk Hogan, in life, in death." - Ric Flair ".....talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16. Austin 3:16 says I just whopped your ass!" - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, after defeating Jake "The Snake" Roberts (a Christian) and becoming the King of the Ring "Maybe if America were comprised of criminals, miscreants, and mediocre football players." - Kurt Angle, slamming the Dallas Cowboys, often referred to as "Amercia's Team" "He's copied me throughout his career." - Jesse Ventura, asked if he was surprised about Hulk Hogan's interest in a political career "What'cha gonna do (brother), when the 24-inch pythons run wild on you?" - Hulk Hogan, his trademark phrase "Just when they think they have the answers, I change the questions." - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper "You do not throw rocks at a man who's got a machine gun." - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper "Basically, the truth is I want to get naked." - Chyna, on why she was posing for Playboy "The Rock wipes a lobster's left testicle with what you think." - The Rock, on a decision made by Commissioner Foley "Dwayne Johnson lounges around and then takes out the garbage." - The Rock, on his real-life personality Any more good ones that stick out in your mind? |
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11-07-2004, 01:09 AM
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#2 |
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Formerly Ġohâń3k
Posts: 5,009
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"I didn't know Goldberg made microphones" - Triple H after his microphone failure on Raw
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11-07-2004, 01:09 AM
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#3 |
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Formerly Ġohâń3k
Posts: 5,009
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i was fucking dying with laughter
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11-07-2004, 01:19 AM
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#4 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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yeah
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11-07-2004, 01:44 AM
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#5 |
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The Satanic Mechanic
Posts: 52,521
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RFOL
That Moolah one and the Goldberg one are gold. Despite all the things HHH catches hell for, you can't doubt his ability to come up with good one liners in a pinch. |
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11-07-2004, 02:28 AM
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#6 | |
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Posts: 61,520
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Quote:
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11-07-2004, 02:42 AM
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#7 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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Vince: "atleast I don't think of the Mae youngs of the world!"
*Buzz* "I hate you Hogan!" Ding! ~lie detector test |
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11-07-2004, 02:48 AM
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#8 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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I heard about that but never saw it.Anyone know wher I can see it?
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11-07-2004, 03:27 AM
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#9 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,381
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Joel Gertner, presenting himself before Anarchy Rulz 2000:
"And well, well, well. I'm here in St. Paul, Minnesota at Anarchy Rulz, and when they ask me for pearl necklaces, I show them the Family Jewels. I've made so many women so wet I could fill Olympic-sized swimming pools; and I have so much carnal knowledge, I could open my own chain of schools. For I'm the quintessential studmuffin, Joel "I've been everywhere in the United States, east west up and down, but the chicks in Minnesota are the hottest girls around. I've been with white. I've been with black. I've been with red, yellow, and brown, and if it wasn't for contraception, I'd have 27 children in this town" Gertner." Back when Kurt Angle won King of the Ring, he was backstage, speaking to Funaki: "I am your King. That is like your Emperor, or Head Ninja." |
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11-07-2004, 03:32 AM
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#10 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,381
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On Raw, Edge and Christian describing a run-in.
Christian: The reason why we're here is, you see, in about 3 or 4 minutes, if Road Dogg here in fact does have the upperhand, you know maybe he's gettin jiggy and maybe throwin some jabs or something like that, we're basically going to interfere and cost him the match. Edge: You know what, in wrestling circles that's called a run-in, derived from the fact that as it looks like Road Dogg's about to win the match, we're gonna cause him to lose. King: A run-in? Edge: Yeah. King: Hey JR, they're going to do a run-in! JR: That's what I've heard, I'm somewhat shocked at their bluntness. King: Sometimes JR can be sorta markish. Edge: Well I know he's a mark for Edge and Christian, and damn well should be.' |
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11-07-2004, 03:44 AM
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#11 |
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So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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my favourite was rock and angle during the invasion angle.
Angle: "Rock, after tonight, we should celebrate, and i know exactly what to do" Rock: "Whats that Kurt?" Angle: "We should do something that the Rock wants, something that Rock needs." Rock: "We should go and get some strudel!" Angle: "Woah woah woah, kurt, kurt. The rock doesnt like studel. The rock, likes pie kurt, PIE!" Angle: "Oh well, its all pastry to me, and you know what goes great with pastry. MILK! And I'm not just talking about the small cartons, i'm talking about the big jugs of milk. So wholesome and fresh, makes you feel a hundred bucks!" *maybe uhafta see it to really get it, but its a pisser! The rock with booker and goldust is awesome too! |
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11-07-2004, 03:46 AM
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#12 |
Posts: 18,357
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^^ ROFLMAO!
When did that happen? And good thing Ric Flair wasn't around back then to kill them for it! 
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11-07-2004, 03:46 AM
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#13 | |
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So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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Quote:
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11-07-2004, 03:51 AM
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#14 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,381
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Big Show: "Why is it he gets the title shot and I don't?"
RVD: "Because you're a tool?" Big Show: "I'm seven feet tall. I'm 500 pounds. I am a giant." RVD: "OK. You're a giant tool." Back when Jericho was TV Champ in WCW, and trying to prove that it was more valuable than the World Belt. "If you're watching TV right now, I am your champion. If you like to sit at home and stuff potato chips down your mouth while watching the boob tube, I am your champion. If you're married to the remote control, you're married to Chris Jericho. And if you like to channel surf, you're surfing w/ me. Hang Ten Daddio!!!" |
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11-07-2004, 03:59 AM
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#15 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,381
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"Youll have to hold on. I just popped in an Al Snow's Greatest Hits video, and I want to watch the whole thing. Okay, it's over now." - Mick Foley
Tazz (to Jim Ross): "I'd slap you, but I see God already beat me to it." Kurt Angle (after being accused of running over Steve Austin): "Wait a minute, why is everybody looking at me? Why are you looking at me? Hold on a second! Why aren't you looking at Essa Rios? Why can't it be him, huh? Why not Essa? I mean, everybody knows it's always the quiet ones! Who knows...maybe Stone Cold Steve Austin stole his green card." |
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11-07-2004, 04:18 AM
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#16 | |
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Posts: 61,520
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Quote:
I've got to hear that! |
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11-07-2004, 05:56 AM
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#17 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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"The Rock could just imagine what you were like in High School! The oldest 27 year old senior the world has ever seen! Standing outside your house with your momma, and that short little yellow bus pulling up in front - beep beep, beep beep, beep beep! You just walk in on the bus, go into class, get inside the classroom, teacher up on the blackboard 'Ok class, what is 2 + 2? Do you know Booker?' 'Oh yeah I know the answer to that, 2 + 2? Thomas Jefferson, sucka!" - The Rock to Booker T (Found it on Google, this was also the promo where Rock dropped an F bomb and it wasn't picked up by the censors.)
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11-07-2004, 06:46 AM
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#18 |
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A name known to most.
Posts: 582
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Vince McMahon - Are you at all concerned with what Dink said?
Jerry Lawler - Hell no, what's he gonna do? Punch me in the ankle? *^^During Lawlers feud with the clowns. *During a Val Venis V Mankind Match* *Lawler had just been talking about Val's 'Big Valbowski' Lawler: Do you know what women say when they say Mankind naked? JR: No, I don't King, why don't you tell us? Lawler: Oh, and you have such big feet! *Lawler laughs at himself* JR: Is that so King... Last edited by 123 kid; 11-07-2004 at 04:32 PM. |
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11-07-2004, 07:11 AM
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#19 |
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Jerry"The King"Lawler:Oklahoma,home of Jim Ross...where all the toilets come with drinking straws.
Jerry"The King"Lawler:When Mankind was born,the doctor took one look at his face,and one look at his rear end and said 'My God, Siamese twins! Christian:Greetings to all of our fans in Memphis! As we all know, there are two types of Elvis,there was fat Elvis,and really fat Elvis! But the sad thing is,none of us will ever get the chance to find how fat Elvis really would have been,because he ended up like this town....Dead!!!! Bobby"The Brain"Heenan:You don't have to yell at me,Schiavone.I'm not blind! |
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11-07-2004, 07:33 AM
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#20 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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"What the FUCK are you doin?" - Bobby Heenan calling a match between Flyin Brian (Pillman) and Eddy Guerrero when Pillman goes and grabs Heenan
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11-07-2004, 11:52 AM
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#21 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,111
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"You know the big valboskesi is like a Rubics cube...The longer you play with it the harder it gets."
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11-07-2004, 12:27 PM
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#22 |
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VALENTÍA
Posts: 11,988
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Christian and RVD backstage:
C: "My Euro? My Euro? You know nothing of Europe, all right? What's the capital of Belgium?" R: "Waffle!" C: "Be serious -- see what I'm talking about?" R: "I don't know, what's the capital?" C: "....I'm not telling you!" R: "You know the capital of Brussels?" C: "Yeah, I know the -- it's none of your business!" |
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11-07-2004, 12:33 PM
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Has an evil monkey...
Posts: 7,299
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Quote:
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11-07-2004, 01:02 PM
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#24 |
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Tedious Inevitability
Posts: 7,521
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E&C Patented Run In.....
Survior Series (Winner Takes all Match) *Austin has The Rock in the sharpshooter* Heyman: "TAP! TAAAAAP!" Ross: "The Rock won't tap with this much on the line" Heyman: "Why isn't Earl Hebner ringing the bell" Ross: "Because The Rock isn't tapping" Heyman: "Well that never stopped him before" |
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11-07-2004, 04:15 PM
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King K Cool
Posts: 28,472
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Quote:
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11-07-2004, 04:29 PM
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#26 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Oh my god, THAT'S MILK! THAT'S MILK! MILK-O-MANIA IS RUNNING WILD! IT'S MILK MAN MADNESS, MY GOD! YOU GOT MILK!? THE MILLION DOLLAR PRINCESS HAS BECOME THE DAIRY QUEEN! Kurk Angle has got milk and Austin and the Alliance are getting humiliated by Kurt Angle! Look at Kurt Angle, standing on top of the milk wagon! And now he's pulling out the heavy stuff! It's homogenized! No skim milk for Kurt Angle! Cold milk and cookies, what a combination! Kurt Angle is the olympic dairy man! Milk-o-mania has run wild on Raw! Stone Cold will not forget this night!- JR during the Milk Truck incident.
(I watched my SummerSlam 2001 DVD and the milk truck incident was on it.) |
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11-07-2004, 04:41 PM
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#27 |
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It's Clobbering Time!
Posts: 5,337
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Just had to add this first
Tazz: Beat me if you can. Survive if I let you (Tazz catchphrase) John Cena: I'll watch you drown and not throw a rope This is jail Brock, we inmates You just dropped the soap Wordlife. |
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11-07-2004, 06:48 PM
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#28 |
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I Just Passed You By!
Posts: 1,107
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J.R. : Well, Road Dogg, it looks like your buddy X-Pac is in a little trouble with Blackman.
R.D. : Hang on I gotta tie my shoelace.. *Runs in the ring and gives Blackman a pumphandle* *Drapes X-Pac's arm over Blackman and heads back to the announce table* R.D. Sorry, guys my shoelace was undone. Oh, look, X-P-A-C won. How about that? Back when DX was having a friendly rivalry, leading to its eventual breakup at SummerSlam 2000. King: You know what Road Dogg, I was just looking at your hair, and I think you've got more extensions than AT&T. |
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11-07-2004, 08:50 PM
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#29 | |
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So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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Quote:
i never saw it live, only on the rock's DVD. hehehe, i couldnt believe it when he said that, most guys would have been sacked! |
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11-07-2004, 08:52 PM
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#30 |
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So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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King and J.R refering to Ivory;
King: "King, that Ivory is a real butterface. Do you know what that means J.R." J.R.: "No I don't" King: "Everything's great but-ter-face" |
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11-07-2004, 08:54 PM
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#31 | |
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So long, Eddie! miss you.
Posts: 1,910
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Quote:
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11-07-2004, 09:24 PM
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#32 |
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The Caption Crippler
Posts: 8,855
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I remember that E and C promo. All the stuff they did as a team was gold, and that Heyman commentary was priceless. I bet Earl must've been pissed when he heard that.
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11-07-2004, 09:28 PM
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TAKE IT EACE
Posts: 27,417
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Quote:
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11-07-2004, 10:52 PM
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#34 |
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"Steven, your fossa!"
Posts: 9,603
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Got these from a site
"Pat Patterson works at The Brisco Brothers bodyshop... Yeah, he does rear-end work!" - Jim Ross "That is the biggest man that has ever been on top of Patterson" -Jim Ross (talking about Viscera) "When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops." - Jerry Lawler meh  I'll do some later.
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11-07-2004, 11:06 PM
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#35 |
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BJ Tomczik
Posts: 21
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"Who is the blue hell are you" The Rock
"I'm Chris..." Y2J "It doesn't matter what your name is!" The Rock What a great way for Y2J to join WWE |
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11-07-2004, 11:21 PM
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#36 |
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Cranky Kong
Posts: 78,671
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Haha, I loved Jericho's debut.
ROCK: Y2J plan? Well the Rock's got a plan too. It's called the KY Jelly plan. The Rock is gonna take his boot, lube it up real nice, and stick it straight up your candy ass! **** ROCK: You think you impress the Rock because you used to beat up on some jabroni named Juventud? ***** I don't remember verbatim, but that's the general gist of it. |
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11-07-2004, 11:23 PM
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#37 |
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BJ Tomczik
Posts: 21
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wow... it's all comming back to me now...
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11-08-2004, 12:14 AM
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#38 |
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It's Hammer Time
Posts: 2,207
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Paraphrased quotes, don't remember the exact quotes, but the gist of it:
Christian: Yeah, so we thought we were sick from our nuts right? Edge: But then when we were hurling we didn't see any chunks! Christian: Yeah, cause if we were sick from our nuts there would be nut chunks in it. Edge: turns out our nuts are perfectly fine for consumption Christian: I could whip 'em out right now! I forget the rest and am not really doing it justice... and possibly getting the speakers mixed up. |
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11-08-2004, 12:40 AM
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#39 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,381
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Chris Jericho at SummerSlam 99: "You think you're so smart by spelling your name 'R-O-A-D-D-O-double G.' You want to impress me? Spell lugubrious!"
And one of the funniest unintentional promo of all time. Mean Gene: "Alright, over the last couple of months, it has been very difficult to introduce this man with the words World Wrestling Federation Champion, Hulk Hogan, here at WrestleMania IV this afternoon, you've got the opportunity to change that." Hogan: "Oh yeah, it's been hard to live with, man! FEE FI FO FUM, Andre! One long year, and your time has come, man! No marks, no scars, no blemishes on the Hulkster, brother! But inside man, I've been scarred for one long year! Everywhere I go man, all the little Hulksters ask me, 'Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial count? Hulkster, did you really press him over your head? Did you REALLY beat the Giant? Well today man, in WrestleMania IV, we're gonna wipe all that controversy out! Andre the Giant, in the second round, when you're fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I'm gonna PROVE, brother, that I can beat ya, anywhere, anytime! And all my Hulkamaniacs, they're gonna FEEL it, too! Gene: "Speaking of the Hulkamaniacs, Hulk Hogan, we have seen them here in Atlantic City, and I know millions of others are watching very intently all around the world!" Hulk: "Yeah! But if you look into their eyes, man, have you seen the FEAR in all those little Hulksters? They realize, that when I get Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slam him through the Trump Plaza, brother, from New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off! And as Andre the Giant FALLS INTO THE OCEAN, as my next two opponents, fall into the ocean floor and I pin 'em, SO WILL DONALD TRUMP, and ALL the Hulkamaniacs! But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family in his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD DONALD TRUMP'S A HULKAMANIAC! He'll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life, all the way to safety! But Donald...if something happens and you run out of gas, and all those Hulkamaniacs run out of gas...JUST HANG ON, to the largest back in the world, and I'll DOG PADDLE us, BACKSTROKE ALL OF US TO SAFETY!" |
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11-08-2004, 01:00 AM
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#40 |
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Hockey Superstar
Posts: 11,381
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"You know something Mean Gene, you don't have to remind me and my Hulkamaniacs, that at Skydome, we're gonna face the Ultimate Challenge, brother! When we crossed the border from the United States of America to Canada, I was hovering over Skydome brother, I saw what was beneath me man. I saw the greatest arena of all times, where the Ultimate Challenge will take place...and as we landed brother, nothing but star-craving Hulkamaniacs were there to greet me at the airport. Nothing but positive vibes, man! Hulkamania is running wild like it's never ran before! But the Ultimate Warrior, you must realize that when you step into Skydome, when you feel the energy that is gonna run wild throughout the arena, those are my people. That's my energy, brother, and Ultimate Warrior, this is where the power lies, man, and the power of the Hulkster, the largest arms in the world, and once I get you down on your knees, Ultimate Warrior, I'm gonna ask you one question, brother! I'm gonna ask you: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER? And if your answer is "yes," Ultimate Warrior, then BREATHE YOUR LAST BREATH NITO MY BODY! I can save ya, my Hulkamaniacs can save ya! We can turn the darkness that you live in into the light. We can save all your little Warriors with the training, the prayers, and the vitamins. But I gotta prove one thing to all my little Hulkamaniacs out there, it's not whether you win, or whether you lose, the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are or what kind of loser you are! And Ultimate Warrior, I sure hope you're a good loser, brother! Whatcha ya gonna do at Skydome when the largest arms in the world and Hulkamania DESTROYS YOU????"
-Hulk Hogan for Wrestlemania 6 "Ahhhhh YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A NORMAL! You don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do! Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me: do YOU, Hulk Hogan, want your ideas, your beliefs, to live forever? For Hulk Hogan in this normal world, physically, none of us can live forever. But the places you have taken the Hulkamaniacs, the ideas and beliefs that you have given them can live through me, Hulk Hogan. That is why I breathe, that is why the Warriors have come. Hulk Hogan, there are ones that question where you are taking them. Do you no longer want to walk or step into that darkness? Hulk Hogan, that darkness I speak of is nothing of fear. It is about the beliefs...of excepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything Hulk Hogan. You have lived, Hulk Hogan, for the last 5 Wrestlemania's for this one belief. Now Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in, further then you ever could. I come Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania. I come Hulk Hogan to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one. As we, Hulk Hogan, accept all the challenges with all the strength of the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together. Hulk Hogan the colors of the Hulkamaniacs are coming through the pores of my skin...and Hulk Hogan when we meet Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come to do no one no harm, but only Hulk Hogan to take what we both believe in, to places IT SHALL NEVER HAVE BEEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!". -The Ultimate Warrior's reply for the same event. |
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Linear Mode
