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#1 |
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Posts: 18,357
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RAW Captions [9-8-2004]
Things took a turn for the worst when Hunter's three Robo-Fly Assassin bots went awry and turned their sights on Batista. This was certainly the most vicious HGA makeout scene in history. As Batista cranks up his Andrea Bocceli solo for the 687th time, Orton begins to grow frustrated. Unbeknownst to everyone, Steph had gained the power to become invisible as well, and she was feeling a little kinky. OR Slowly Descending Glass Ceiling Victim #01948 Chiota: "Geez, how the heck does he get those crosses so high?" "HOW.... DARE... YOU SHOOT TACO BELL HOT SAUCE ALL OVER ME?!?!?!" Shelton just loved it when he played Airplane with Tyson. "I pity the FOO!!! ... yeah.... Whaddya mean that catchphrase's taken?" The evil Trish Stratus basks in victory after stealing a swing set seat. "Oh what's that baby waby? You want to go into the field as Brock Lesner?" *seconds later* Crowd: "Baby punter!" clap, clap, clap clap clap "Baby punter!" Lady: "I know you! You're just Rico trying to sneak back into the company! And you even stole Y2J's HiLight Reel logo and stuck it in yours!!! Simon: ![]() HHH: "This is a stick up. I'm holding a gun." Snitsky: "But that's a microphone!" HHH: '"It's not my f... bad..." Maria: "Wow! A symmetrical vase!" Triple H: "Good show, ol' chap! What shall we do tonight?" Batista: "Well, after the sparring, I was thinking of engaging one of your favorite games." Triple H: "You mean haze the midcard?" Batista: "That's it ol' boy!" Triple H: "Brilliant!" Batista: "Marvelous!" Benoit: "Give.. me.. back.. my FURBY!!!!" ![]() Batista: "Ew!!!!" Edge: "What's Randy doing to them???" Triple H: "And I thought Steph screamed like a banshe..." |
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#2 |
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It's Hammer Time
Posts: 2,207
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Pants.... exploding..... RAFIKI!!! Snitsky: Enjoy my oh so succulent breast milk. It will be everywhere once it becomes the official drink of the Simon System! |
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#3 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,132
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![]() (Trish on kids show) Trish: Whats this? Kids:.......Belt! Trish: Yay ok now unbottoned.....buttoned.....unbuttoned....buttoned Kids
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#4 |
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WOOOOOOOOO!
Posts: 12,237
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![]() Batista revealed himself to be....Ken Shamrock?? |
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#5 |
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Formerly Ġohâń3k
Posts: 5,009
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![]() Orton, about to spit a green apple onto Batista starts debating whether or not Batista is cool ![]() Orton starts thinking about his title reign and promptly attempts suicide ![]() Batista realizes Wrestling is fake |
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#6 |
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...and a Batman symbol
Posts: 663
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Bill Cosby hasnt been out in the sun for a while. Triple H: I LOVE YOU, SLIM, WOULD COULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER, THINK ABOUT IT. In the ring, the Hoss Impression contest continues, as Randy Orton mistakes it as a Horse Impression contest. Randy: ...is that...Paco? Chiota: Randy, get Down Orton: Its OK, I'm Superman. Chiota: Randy, your not superman Orton: I Am So Superman. Look at me, Red Undies...um...Red Undies Oh Boy, Little Scotty has always wanted to play "Pin the Period on the Carnie" Tomko: Oh Shit, the Iraqis are attacking from the sky....Operation Human Shield GO! ....sorry... Shelton: ...and this Says That im not fired. "Now if I turned my hand over, I'll see my palm? WOW" Snitsky: So I found this baby on the front step of my house one day. So I nursed it as my own. The only weird thing is that whenever I ask him if he wants a nappy change or a warm bottle of milk, it always replies with "Im not telling you anything you dont already know" Dean: NO, the Hurricane tried looking like me. I was Nova before he was the Hurricane. Lady: Oh yeah? Where did your mask go? Dean: I didnt have a mask, I wasnt a superhero. Lady: Well where's your cape? Dean: I WASNT A SUPER.. Lady: Well, if The Hurricane DID copy you, you should know this. Whats the 3rd line of the superhero code of conduct. Dean:...um...Join The Simon System? Trips: I told you, microphone beats everything. Snitsky: Even Paper? Neither Trips or Maria had the guts to tell him he had a leprachaun on his chin. Trips: What d'ya mean im on the Fired List? Y2J: Chris, What's my hand holding on to? ![]() The Dreaded Aunt Flow makes her WWE return. |
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#7 |
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You're Fired
Posts: 338
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Dean: Woah, Fred Durst? What happened to you man? Are you a janitor now? Durst: I uh.......yes... But at least I'm good at it!
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#8 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
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#9 |
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R.I.P Tanner
Posts: 8,219
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[QUOTE=Corkscrewed]
suddenly everyone went quite when simon dean told HHH he needed to lose weight. preperation h means what!! batista couldn't beleive his eyes, randy was about to puke as neither of them had seen mae young naked before randy commites suicide rather than look at mae any more hey chioda Catch Me urge to kill rising sheltons cross body from the rafters didnt work out like he had hoped yeah im the world heavy weig... intercontinental championship, dammit my precious man thats one uglee baby. Simon: "bambi is not dead." (runs away crying) im not shakin your hand, i no where thats been. the staring contest was off to a great start HHH: whats wrong Batista: explosive diareah HHH: let go of the refs ear ![]() what will your face look like if you saw mae young naked? |
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#10 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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HHH: Whats up Big D Batista: Hunter, I'm gonna get canned! HHH: Why big man? Batista: First they give me Lesnar's moves in Smackdown vs. Raw, and now I'm sponsering Cell Tech and Nitro Tech. HHH:...... yeah you're screwed |
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#11 |
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Posts: 18,357
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![]() Batista's reaction after Joey Radd exposed himself to him. |
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#12 |
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He's Here
Posts: 60,735
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Batista (To himself): Don't look at Hunter. Don't look at Hunter. Don't look at... *Looks at Hunter* OH MY GOD! WHY DIDN'T YOU WEAR PANTS!? Hunter: I'm gonna kill you Rand... Huh? Batista: Nothin... Batista tried holding back his laughter when Triple H tripped into a suggestive position on top of Bischoff. Batista does his best Kirby impression, and it was working! He was starting to suck Randy's face off! This is what happens when Triple H doesn't secure the invisible crucifix. Randy: ... I believe I can fly! I believe I can... Ref: STOP IT ALREADY! JUST JUMP! ... This is your brain watching another one of Vince's "great ideas". Any questions? Tomko: Raise the roof BOY-EEEE! Shelton: YEAH! I see you bitch! You're it! Trish: These wine stains NEVER come out. Gene: Who's a baby? Who's a baby waby wibble dibble? Bushaboo! Bushaboo! Baby: Shut up! Gene: It's... Not... My... FAULT! *Punt* Simon: Eww Stevie, that's sick! Lady: Who are you talking ab... *Goose* WHAT THE!? *Slaps Janitor* Kane really looked diffrent since he went off to film that movie. Edge: Does the tape exist? Triple H: No. *Nose grows* Edge: AH HA! Batista (Thinking): Don't look at Hunter. Don't look at Hunter. Don't. *Peek* OH GOD DAMN IT HUNTER, PUT SOME FUCKING PANTS ON! Triple H: Wha? *Looks down* HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN NAKED!? Batista: Since the first fucking segment. Triple H: OH DAMNIT! I DON'T WANT PEOPLE THINKING I'VE BEEN TAKING LESSONS FROM RIC! Edge: Choking... Choking... Gah... Can't... Breath... Benoit: NOW TELL ME WHERE THE GOLDEN HUNTER IS! Edge: NEV... GAH! ![]() Batista: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! HUNTER'S NAKED! WHO CARES!? I DON'T! I PEFER IT! IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S TAKING LESSONS FROM RIC! Triple H (Thinking): He's next... |
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#13 |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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![]() That is freaky
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#14 |
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Diabetes Coming To Getcha
Posts: 6,826
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HHH became speechless when Vince Mcmahon told him that he would be a porn star if he wasnt wrestilng because he certaintly has the ego for it. Orton and Batista reinact the scene from Back To The Future 4: Starring Goldberg and Brock Lesnar. *Shawn Micheals hits the Superkick* JR: STOP COLD STUNNER! Batista does his best "Photo-Shoot-For-AOL-Internet-Explorer" Brock Lesnar face. Triple H (Walking into a Gas station): Excuse me, I locked my keys in my car, do you have a slimjim? Gene: Slim Jim? Triple H: Yeah, you know what that is? Gene: No, we dont have them. Does this look like a supermarket? |
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#15 |
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EL MERO MERO!
Posts: 4,259
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![]() HHH: ...oh crap, sunlight .. ugh.. GOTTA GO! FINISH MY PROMO, BATISTA! Batista: Whatchu Talking About, Wil.. Hunter?! ![]() HHH: WHAT DO YA MEAN I NEED GLASSES, STEPHANIE!? ![]() Batista: Dude?? RKO: 'Random Pac-Man' ??? Oh alright.... Batista: Thanks, man. RKO: **slowly crawls into Batista's mouth ** ![]() Soon after this pic, Evolution had a new member by the name of Steel Stairs. ![]() RKO (like Eugene): UNDERTAKER OLD-SCHOOL AMERICAN BADASS-- Ref: Um, Rand.. keep that up and you'll be sent to Heat. RKO: ..I'M ON RAW? ![]() "STIMPY, YYYYOUU EEEIIIDDDIOTTT!! !!!" ![]() Tomko: Well, hey there, little guy! Looks like you fell out your cage. Go back in now.. **places Benj back in O'Haire's cage** Good boy. RING'S FOR BIG PEOPLE. ![]() ![]() MENTOS: THE FRESHMAKER! ![]() Note to Trish: Never touch Rhyno's stuff. ![]() Snitsky: Dammmnn, baby! You hungry! ![]() The longest game of Rock Paper Scissors Ever. ![]() HHH: Here, talk all you want. My dad owns this all. I don't even have a script. Snitsky (to himself): ALF ??? ![]() Edgeward: Well???? HHH/Maria: Well, what? Edgeward: Do you know me.. yet? HHH: ..... Edgeward: What about now?? ![]() Hunter: You ever think about what Splinter said, about not having him around? Batista: Pizza dude's got 30 seconds. Hunter: ... They don't do that 30 minute deliver thing anymore. Batista: You.. just don't get it, do ya!? **hissy fits to Kevin Nash ** ![]() Benoit: Damn, Adam! I am going to fuck the boring out of you! Edge: You get that, guys? Camera guy: ![]() ![]() HHH: Hardcore Holly's comin' here?! SHHHIIIT..TTAKE MUSHROOMS! RUN AWAY!!! Batista: You're a homo-- Edgeward: NO! YOU'RE ONLY SUPPORTING HIM! end... I love pop culture, damn it! |
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#16 | |
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Formerly Ġohâń3k
Posts: 5,009
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Quote:
![]() You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to gonMad00 again. |
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#17 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Instead of doing these every week, and twice a week sometimes, I’m just gonna make captions when I feel like it. Between work and partying I don’t always have time to make captions. Yeah, so, uhhhh… Vote Quimby, and get a Sirius Satellite Radio. Haven’t read them in weeks, so sorry if I steal any jokes.
![]() And now, the last few moments of Triple H’s life… HHH: All in all you’re just another brick in the wall! Batista: Hey Trips, who sings that song? HHH: Pink Floyd. Batista: Let’s keep it that way, ‘k? HHH: Why? Korn did a cover for it. ![]() Triple H took it personally when Eric told him that Galaxin was better than Galaga. ![]() Winner, and still champion of the impromptu pac-man contest, Batista! ![]() Rene Dupree: Isn’t that what you call in America… a short stack? ![]() Ref: For the last time, Eugene is the one that does all of the older wrestler’s moves, not you! Randy: But I’m “Superfly” Randy Orton! ![]() Batista: WHY IS THERE BLOOD ALL OVER MY FACE!?!?! Steven Richards: Well, with how much action I got today, I ran out of man-chowder. ![]() TOGAN DEATH GRIP TO THE EXTREME!!! ![]() Shelton: Yes! They released my theme song on the new WWE album! That means I’m a valued team player! Gail Kim: Fuck you. ![]() Trish: Wait, didn’t it say “look on the other side to keep a blonde busy” on the other side? Lemme check…. ![]() The new public breast feeding champion. ![]() Simon: And if “The Rise And Fall Of ECW” doesn’t sell well, I’ll be out on the streets with Rico! ![]() Gene: I’ve punted more babies than you! HHH: I’ve held down more people than you. Gene:…touché….. ![]() Maria watched the staring contest intensely as these two men battled to see who would get sloppy seconds. ![]() Batista: So Trips, what are you going to do with your week of owning Raw? Triple H: Oh, it’s going to be an awesome face turn! Batista: How the hell can someone like you pull a face turn? Triple H: Well, first I’m going to trade Steven Richards for Hardcore Holly under the stipulation that Richards gets a US title run. Batista: You’re going to need a lot more to turn face. Triple H: Then I’m going to fire Holly. Batisa: That’ll get it done. ![]() Benoit: Hey Edge remember when you said it would be a cold day in hell when the Sox win the world series? Edge: Yeah. Benoit: And remember when you said it would be a cold day in hell when I could have sex with your wife? ![]() And now, for 1000 points, who was the last man to hold the World Heavyweight Title without being in Triple H’s inner circle? ![]() Gene: Kirby would beat up Superman any day of the week! He’d eat Superman and get his powers, but since he’s not Superman he’d be immune to kryptonite! Triple H: You interrupted my promo for that? |
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#18 |
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The People's Champion
Posts: 116
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I DID NOT like at all, that you could tell the "baby" that snitsky "punted" was obviously a doll, and what makes me even more mad is that it might have gotten to other psychos who will now think that kicking their baby is alright, and it's not...it's called child abuse, and I think that part of the Highlight reel was absolutely, 1,000,000% UNACCEPTABLE.
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#19 | |
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Formerly Ġohâń3k
Posts: 5,009
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Quote:
yeah man, get ready for a trend in punting your children, it's gonna be all over the news
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