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Old 11-20-2004, 02:17 AM   #1
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SmackDOWN! Captions [11-18-2004]

Cena: "C'mon Kurt! Off with the wig! You can't fool me!!!"
Carlito: "Das... not... cool!!!"


Carlito was in dire trouble until his explosive fart blew Cena AND the chair away.


Carlito had already passed out and Cena was already grimacing, but Nick Patrick had to do a quick pit check before he could realize that he'd forgotten his deodorant that morning.


The new Hunter Hearst Holddown treatment was a pretty rough punishment for any star who got too popular for his own good.


When Anal Fisting Goes Wrong II.
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Old 11-20-2004, 08:48 AM   #2
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Here is John Cena, seconds away from bouncing Carlito's head off the guard rail like a basketball. Any questions?


When Stephanie wants to cosplay, you never know WHAT she'll dress up as. Here we see her "having fun" with Carlito as John Cena.


Cena: *YAWN* What time is it?
Ref: You won the title!
Cena: WHAT!? All in my sleep!? WOW!


Cena: Where's Teddy? Where's Teddy!? I want Teddy! TEDDY! TEDDY! I WANT TEDDY!


Cena: OWWWWWWWW have mercy!
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Old 11-20-2004, 02:02 PM   #3
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Cena's dark, homophobic side surfaces when --- in a regrettable moment --- he catches Carlito in a push-up bra.


We know that wrestling can get hardcore, but Cena using the latest Harry Potter book as a weapon? That's going too far!


Their jobs done, Bat-Cena and Nick Patrick the Ref Wonder fire their grappling hooks and disappear into the night.


Gurney Operator: "C'mon, I'm desperate here. I'll let you do freestyle! You won't have any backstage writers! C'mon, man, my ratings are rock bottom."
Cena: "For the last time, McEnroe, I'm not showing up on your damn show!"


Although he followed Teddy's instructions to the letter, Jesus was unprepared to witness what happened to people's bowels when you shoot them in the ass.
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Old 11-20-2004, 02:19 PM   #4
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CENA: This will teach you to corrupt the youth of America!
CARLITO: No! Issa wardrobe malfunction! I swear!



Here, Carlito falls for the classic "Hey, look at the blinking light on the camera!" trick.



CENA: Yeah! Everything's cool when you're J O H N C--
RVD: (backstage) Hey, he's ripping off my gimmick!
WRITER: Oh, yeah...about that...
RVD: Why are you giving me this pink piece of pa--oh.



REF: JBL has always been WWE Champion.
CENA: But...the title used to be credible.
REF: I'm afraid, Mister Cena, that you're suffering from a delusion. Take him to Room 101.
CENA: Not Room 101!



After accidentally using the word "heel," Jesus was punished by being demoted to Personal Ass-Wiper.
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Old 11-20-2004, 05:07 PM   #5
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Cena: STOP DOING THAT!
CCC: But I'm the Native American Tatanka! **does rain dance**
Cena: **pulls hair** STOP IT!


Scratching Carlito's itch.. TO THE EXTREME!


Cena: YEAH! I'm the champ-- U.S Title?! Ugh, I came back from filming crappy movies to win this??!
Nick Patrick: Don't drag me into this, Surburban Commando!


Apparently, the cause of the accident was that forklift operator didn't see him.
*rimshot* ..... .... **runs away**


Cena: You've lost that loving feeling! ..OoOH, Lovin' feelin' !
Jesus: ..CUZ BABY... MAVERICK!

end.
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Old 11-20-2004, 05:14 PM   #6
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Jesus gives Cena a hand reaching the high F in 'Loving You'
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Old 11-20-2004, 06:43 PM   #7
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The WWE had become desperate when they gave Nick Patrick Rico's space on the roster, and instructed Cena to throw Carlito into his clothesline.


John Cena: Don't worry Carlito, I'll get rid of Steven Richards!


John Cena and Nick Patrick held the United States Championship in the middle of their pose, which sort of looks like the letter "H". Suddenly the arena began to shake as the title was sacrificed to the God of RAW.


Cena's new move, "The Marine" was certainly very interesting. Cena was taken to the "Probing Room" by men in blue shirts as Agent 467 standed guard.


And here we are in the probing room.

OR

Brian Gerwitz took the "poop" jokes too far, and Cena now had a new finisher, The P-U.
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Old 11-21-2004, 05:48 AM   #8
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Cena: WATCH IT!
Carlito: NO!! MAKE IT STOP!!
Chyna: oooh, oh yeah...
Cena: IT CAN GO AWAY, JUST TELL ME WHAT I WANNA HEAR!!
Carlito: FINE, IT WAS ME WHO STOLE YOUR FREAKIN TWINKIE, NOW TURN IT OFF!!


Carlito: you sure this is just a WWE initiantion thing?
Cena: um yeah sure, now drop ya tights...


Nick Patrick and John Cena had to both hold the glass ceiling up in order to have not been crushed.


After watching the Chyna/X-pac video, John Cena suffered internal injuries and vision loss.


Cena: MUFASA!?!?!
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Old 11-21-2004, 07:45 AM   #9
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Moments later, the refs exotic dance had finished and carlito was scarred for life
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Cena was upset that carlito didnt want to pull the christmas cracker with him
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Nick patricks heel turn would never be a success when his own body odour faulted his belt stealing antics
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Someone told cena triple h had lost his title. A joke too far it would seem.
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Granted his name was jesus, but could he really exorcise cena's demons like that?
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Old 11-21-2004, 11:51 AM   #10
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Seriously, in the 1st, 3rd and 4th pic, does Cena look like JBL, or is that just me?
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Old 11-21-2004, 02:09 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evolution
Seriously, in the 1st, 3rd and 4th pic, does Cena look like JBL, or is that just me?
Why do you think Cena hasn't challenged for the title since JBL got it?
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Old 11-21-2004, 02:32 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evolution
Seriously, in the 1st, 3rd and 4th pic, does Cena look like JBL, or is that just me?

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