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Old 01-11-2005, 02:23 AM   #1
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The Joanie Laurer on Surreal Life Thread

So I watched the Surreal Life 4 season opener with Joanie Laurer / Chyna / Chyna Doll / X-Pac beater, and she is officially one fucked up bitch. I mean, she was before, but now she makes it really clear for the whole world to see.

The slutty outfits, the slurred words, the snoring, etc.. is just way too much. She's like Bridgette Nielsen all over again, except Waltman / Pac is no Flav.

On a sidenote, Verne Troyer is one strange dumb lil' bastard too.

Anyone who saw it, please share your thoughts on it / her appearance.
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Old 01-11-2005, 03:11 AM   #2
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Shes a very unattractive gentleman.
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Old 01-11-2005, 04:26 AM   #3
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I feel really sorry for the rest of the guys there.
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Old 01-11-2005, 12:01 PM   #4
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I'll have to watch it. Is Verne Troyer that midget?
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Old 01-11-2005, 12:43 PM   #5
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man I saw most of it and she is messed up. And butt ugly
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Old 01-11-2005, 01:29 PM   #6
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yeah, and ugly is one weak word for her
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Old 01-11-2005, 01:32 PM   #7
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I saw the first epiode last night, and I couldn't believe she stole Verne Troyer's room. You got the biggest person in the house into the smallest room of the house. Verne is Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies. So there was almost no way he could live in a regular room.

And when did Chyna change her name to Chyna Doll?
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Old 01-11-2005, 03:24 PM   #8
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Y'all watched that crap?
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Old 01-11-2005, 03:53 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RGWhat316
I saw the first epiode last night, and I couldn't believe she stole Verne Troyer's room. You got the biggest person in the house into the smallest room of the house. Verne is Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies. So there was almost no way he could live in a regular room.

And when did Chyna change her name to Chyna Doll?
Yeah, I think she was just being a prick about it. No reason to take the little naked man's room. It made for an interesting moment as he moved all of her luggage out on his little scooter.

I don't think she officially changed her name to Chyna Doll or anything, but I know she sometimes goes by. I guess she was going for something similar to her former name, and that was the best she could do. Ala The Maestro from WCW becoming The Stro, or New Kids on The Block becoming NKOTB
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Old 01-11-2005, 04:00 PM   #10
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Also, did anyone else here see when she was in the living room area with the Brady Bunch's Christopher Knight?? She walks in, sees the photos on the wall of all the cast members, and then Knight is like "I assume those are our room mates" and Chyna is like "How do you know?"...

And he goes "Well, our pictures are up there, so I assume that the rest of the people up there with us are going to be here too" and she's like "Oh yeah, that is me"...When you don't even recognize YOUR OWN PHOTO -

And then, to make it worse, she looks at his picture up there and goes "OH, and that's that guy from The Brady Bunch or The Partridge Family or whatever", and he's like - "That's me"...she goes "Oh my god, get out of here" ...That's sad.
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Old 01-11-2005, 04:21 PM   #11
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I saw it the other night and last night. I cannot tell if that was just an act or what, but she was a genuine asshole. Do you suppose that she really thought that room was for a normal-size person? Good God.

What really scared me was the "I wish I could feel how it is to get wood" (or something to that effect) comment.
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Old 01-11-2005, 05:24 PM   #12
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Verne is an idiot, Chyna looks un-human and you could see that one girls lips on the table.

Last edited by Savio; 01-11-2005 at 05:35 PM.
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Old 01-11-2005, 05:59 PM   #13
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I just finished watching it and all i can say is wow... Verne is one fucked up little man... Chyna is...words cant even describe what she is... wow...
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Old 01-11-2005, 06:00 PM   #14
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Heh just saw her break that lock off.
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Old 01-11-2005, 06:12 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126
What really scared me was the "I wish I could feel how it is to get wood" (or something to that effect) comment.
I heard that comment too...

I was thinking that she must have some kind of ESP, because I bet Waltman was thinking the exact same thing at that moment
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Old 01-11-2005, 10:28 PM   #16
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I have a question about one of the cast members?

Who the hell is Da Brat?
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Old 01-11-2005, 10:35 PM   #17
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It's the VH1 version, they blew the entire budget on Verne Troyer

Anyway, she is one ugly b*tch!

It is funny as hell (don't know why, but it is to me) and I feel a lot better about myself after seeing Chyna/Joanie/Wife..eeer... X-Pac Beater...

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Old 01-11-2005, 10:43 PM   #18
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Da brat is a rap star she sung.....ummm ehh some rap hit probably once.
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:13 PM   #19
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she made many appearances on All That
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:15 PM   #20
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LOL All that. What a great show. Thats when Keenan and Kel were great.
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:32 PM   #21
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sucks for Kel that he hit his peak at 15 on Nickelodeon
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:35 PM   #22
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Kel was great I don't see how Kennan went farther then him.
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:36 PM   #23
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LOL I hit my peak when I was 15 too.

It's been down hill for me ever since.
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:39 PM   #24
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Quote:
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Kel was great I don't see how Kennan went farther then him.
yeah that Fat Albert movie is gonna make his career.....










ahahahahahahaha
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:54 PM   #25
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I did so research to see if his career is dead....apparantly he runs some dance thing on UPN called "Dance 360".....Come on Kel you should have stuck with the Pepsi commercials.
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Old 01-11-2005, 11:54 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Innovator
yeah that Fat Albert movie is gonna make his career.....










ahahahahahahaha
You don't watch SNL do you?
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Old 01-19-2005, 12:51 AM   #27
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The latest exploits of Joanie Laurer!

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/38326.htm

That's the most hialrious article ever.

"She asked to go onstage and the manager said, 'No thank you,' " relates our spy. "But eventually he let her, in the spirit of good fun. She was topless, but after she went bottomless, they told her she had to stop."

I can just imagine it....

Manager after Chyna goes bottomless: OHHHH! OH GOD NO!!! STOP!!!
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Old 01-19-2005, 05:35 PM   #28
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She was just even worse on this week's episode.

If I were Da Brat, I'd definitely have to go to therapy...I mean, you're sleeping, and then you're awakened by Chewbacca screaming "DA BRAT! DA BRAT! WAKE UP, DA BRAT!!"

She is on some serious shit in addition to whatever else she admits to.
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Old 01-19-2005, 05:37 PM   #29
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lol, I just watched it. She's terrible
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Old 01-19-2005, 05:41 PM   #30
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I'm afraid to watch it. I think it'd much more entertaining to read your responses and reports of what happened.

Chyna parading around naked? *shudder*
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Old 01-19-2005, 05:44 PM   #31
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Well, at least WrestleCrap will be covering it starting next week. Although, I hope there aren't any screen caps of Chyna's pimpled ass.
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Old 01-19-2005, 06:16 PM   #32
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The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)The Naitch got the bus to Rep Town and repped it up real bad at the rep shop (100,000+)
We dont get it here yet in Canada. We got Surreal Life 3 going now.
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Old 01-19-2005, 06:42 PM   #33
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"Hey Chyna!! Would you like a wet nap to dab away the dried blood from under your nose?"
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Old 01-22-2005, 02:05 AM   #34
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Apparently Chyna done gone and almost died, and X-Pac did something nice and made an attempt to save her. He wrote a letter to the producers of The Surreal Life show, asking for them to intervene and help; he posted it on his site at the link here:

http://seanwaltmancom.proboards21.co...num=1106298053
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Old 01-22-2005, 03:13 AM   #35
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I feel kinda bad for her.
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Old 01-22-2005, 03:54 AM   #36
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"You and I both know what she was paid to do your show. That amount of money is nominal compared to what you are making by exploiting her making a spectacle of herself for 13 days and giving her the platform to become an even bigger joke than Anna Nicole Smith."

lol, Yeah, Anna Nicole Smith
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Old 01-24-2005, 12:26 AM   #37
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Just watched this week's Surreal Life from earlier this evening.

Wow.

Usually I'd say "Another week, another chance for Joanie to act like a mental patient" - or something along those lines. But this week, I've definitely gotta agree with Pac. It is way serious that she gets some help for herself ASAP. She is definitely experiencing some serious problems in her life / mind.

It's imperative that someone steps in and gets her help, and it's also a shame that she has went through her Playboy and wrestling savings. That alone suggests that she has been doing something she doesn't need to do. Watching her describe how she attempted to kill herself was - poof. So yeah, someone listen to Waltman before she ends up like a Gilbert, a Henning, a Spicolli, a Hernandez or any of the others.
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