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Old 04-14-2005, 11:04 PM   #1
TerranRich
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SmackDown! Captions (from 4/14/05)
You're too slow, bitches! HAHAHAHA!!!

























Stay tuned for my own...



Visit:
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Old 04-14-2005, 11:17 PM   #2
TerranRich
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Carlito: Now those? Those...are cool...


Big Show: No! I don't WANNA play Jack and the Beanstalk! Gaahh!


Big Show: Are you serious? I do NOT look 500 lbs...!


JBL bothces giving Cena the bird...


Torrie's crotch sucks in ALL who anger it...


Rey: So what are you saying, ese?
Carlito: I'm saying that you've suddenly started talking in an accent since you teamed up with Eddie, and that...that's not cool...
Rey: Whata you talkin' about, homes? Vato loco! Eh, ese? Ariba la raza!!!
Carlito: Listen... [bites apple]


Mercury and Nitro try to lift up Melina by her arms.
Mercury: Damn this girl's been eatin' some taco supremes!
Nitro [thinking]: He said supreme...hehe...


Mercury and Nitro counter with the double Hogan-style finger-point-of-DOOM! Somewhere, far away, Kevin Nash shudders...and tears his quad in the process.


Mercury: Ack! Must...remove...hanger before...putting on pants...


Wow, Chuck Palumbo is really getting old! Oh...


Kurt: I want your hair! GIVE IT!! SO PRETTY!!
Eddie: Er...?


Are YOU Sure?™


Eddie shows Rey what he wants to do to that masked head of his...


Ref: Yes, THIS man. HE desecrated the title. Arrest HIM!
Cena: Werd?


Longest. Belch. Ever.


Paul London: Will Accept Head for Title Shots


The referee "raises the roof" after realizing he has the best damn seat in the whole house!


Rey: Ack! What is that dog doing to me! Get it off! GETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!
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Old 04-14-2005, 11:58 PM   #3
Gone Mad
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Bashem: ERRGG! You goin' down, Captain Insano!
Show: IT WAS ONLY A MOVIE...


JBL: Up your nose with a rubber hose, Mistah Kottah!


JBL: ...curse the inventors of the brown noise...


Remember, should a random naked person run across you, just pretend you're a tree and hide, just like Mr. Referee.


Funny, didn't know werewolves ate Mexican... **rim shot**


Heidenreich: John Connor... come with me if you want to live.


JBL: Oh, Senoir McScruffy... why did Pa had to run you over?


Chavo: If my finger was THIS long, I'd never leave the --- Whoa, it is! Excuse me....


Ok guys, point to your noses...
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Old 04-15-2005, 12:32 AM   #4
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Poor Carlito was so nearsighted he always screwed up when he was copping a feel.


And, all of the sudden, JBL experiences a horrific flashback of his first night with Stephanie McMahon.


John Cena celebrates after becoming the WWE's first ever "Sigma" champion.


"Oh no you didn't! Oh no you DIDN'T!"


Even a world class athlete like Rey Mysterio was easy prey for the vicious tag team of Cousin It and Barkley the Dog.
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Old 04-15-2005, 01:46 AM   #5
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CARLITO: T'ree apples?!? Dis is da best birthday ever!



No one will ever forget the day the black hole opened in Paul Wight's penis.



BASHAM: Oh, man! This is not otay!



SHOW: Whaddya mean Vince wants me to turn my tiger tattoo into a shark?



JBL: No, YOU'RE a homo!



No shit, JBL.



TRISH: That bitch stole my gimmick!



CARLITO: Have you met Stevie Richards?
[Handshake]



MELINA: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
REY: Huh. Didn't know Jho operated on chicks...



NITRO [chuckling]: Oh, no, my friend. I am afraid it is YOU that is the homo.
MERCURY: Yeah! Homo!



NITRO: Dude, you don't need to repeat everything I say.
MELINA: Um... could I borrow your mask?
REY: You need it more than me.
CARLITO: Is dat cool?



MERCURY: OW!
TEDDY LONG: Good shot!



JBL: CARRIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!



STEVIE [thinking]:The things I'll do to keep my job...



PAUL: How many people have you injured with your sloppy SSP?
[Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp...]



KURT: BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE!
EDDIE: For the last time, vato, you're not Terrance!



Eddie's heart punch, though inaccurate, was still effective.



ANGLE: I'm the Game-uh!
[Spreads his arms wide]
EDDIE: OW!
ANGLE:



The chairshot itself was brutal, but when coupled with a rousing chorus of "The Wichita Lineman..."



REY: You sure you don't want a chair?
EDDIE: You're throwing off my concentration, homes! I was almost on fivesies!



CENA: Happy Boxing Day...bitch!
CANADA:



JBL: ...UH-OH!



(Sorry, can't top Santo's "sigma" caption)



WWE's cost-cutting efforts went too far when wrestlers were forced to perform their own eye exams.



HHH: Hey, that bitch stole my gimmick!
VINCE: Okay, he's fired, too...



CORDARIS: WHOA! WIPE, DUDE!!!



Eddie and Kurt's Conchairdonkeypunch quickly surpassed all other tag team finishers.



Torrie clearly learned how to do the electric chair from Heidenreich.



CARLITO: You call my index finger stubby? Das not--hey, it is!



MELINA: Yes, kill, my giant Tribble! Feast!
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:23 AM   #6
Hired Hitman
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is that... Eugene?
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:53 AM   #7
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Carlito was impressed with Shannon Moore's new gimmick.



Ian Malcolm: That is one big pile of shit.



Booker makes the nefarious Basham pay for giving him that static shock.



Big Show: Wait....is that eye-shadow you're wearing?



Sadly, Michaelangelo's "The Birth of Hoss" was left only half finished.



Dawn Marie's new recliner was certainly stylish, but just so damn uncomfortable.



Paul London was determined to put a stop to Kidman's stupid Frankenstein impersonation once and for all.
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Old 04-15-2005, 09:36 AM   #8
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At the conclusion of Scooby Doo and the Masked Menace,...Eddie was caught in a moment of suspense as Rey Mysterio finally unmasked and revealed himself to be...



...old man Angle from the Old Mill.
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Old 04-15-2005, 09:46 AM   #9
BigDaddyCool
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Those action pictures just suck.
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Old 04-15-2005, 01:27 PM   #10
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Carlito: I'll let you bite my apple if I get to bite yours.



JBL: I'll see YOU in the White House.



JBL:By God... I've been sleep-killing again!



Heidenreich: *wanders upon the corpse* You'll be my friend!



Angle: I'm HHH! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
Eddie: I musn't look at the beast!



BOX'D!!



Ref: Whoa, Kurt. Not here. Wait until we get into the back!



Big Show: Well you see I-
ALEYYALEA ALEYLLEYEANLEA ALAYYYEALYAYAYAY ALEANNNNNAAAAA.
Big Show and Booker: Dammit Hassan!
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Old 04-15-2005, 03:26 PM   #11
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Oh my god, it's Tazz with hair!
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:12 PM   #12
Xero
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Carlito: 'Dis is one BIG nipple! Now 'das cool!


Worst. Double Spear. Ever.


Booker: We're going to tear the house down at MSG!
Big Show: Yeah I kn... Wait a minute... You're BLACK!?


JBL: You... You're not real... I KILLED YOU!
Eddie: Wha?


Stevie Richards gets down with the SmackDown! divas.


Carlito: So, you say I have a spider on my head... Nice try, I'm not... What the!? AHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!


Mercury: 'M' is for melon.
Eugene (At home): YAY! M IS FOR MELON! M IS FOR MELON!


Mercury: Haha! Look at those fags! HAHAHA!
Nitro: HAHAHA, FA... Wait, that's a mirror, isn't it?


Mercury: Burr... It feels like someone just walked over my grave...
(Moments earlier)
Triple H: You're next, Mercury, you're next...


JBL wished that Double Dare was back on TV just a little too hard...


Heidenreich: Buh... buh... BAAAAHHHH!
Vince: What's wrong, Jon?
Heidenreich: I lost my friend, bready!
Vince: *Pulls out a jar* Here, Jon, HEEEREEE!
Heidenreich: *Reads the jar* SSAAAUCCCEE... GIMMIE!


London: TAKE MY FUCKING POG WILL YOU!?
Billy: I DIDN'T! I DIDN'T, I SWEAR!
Chavo: I'm outta here!


Kurt: I'm squishing your head! I'm squishing your head!


*Eddie and Kurt sneeze*
Kurt: Damn, you're allergic to my cologne too?


Rey: WOAH! HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?
Eddie: Magic! *Winks upward*
Rene Dupree (In the rafters holding strings): Fucking Eddie and his magic shows...


Cena: Well, I guess you're right, you CAN'T fit into this box...


JBL: Woah... What a wild party... I don't think I've ever eaten that much... *Looks over to pile* Nope, never...


Cena: YOU CAN'T SEE ME!
Ref: HE'S RIGHT HERE! SHOOT HIM!


Chavo: FEAR MY FINGERNAIL!


London: I SHALL BREASTFEED YOU NOW!
Billy: Wha?
London: SUCK!


Kurt: OH GOD IT HURTS! IT HURTS!
Eddie: Yup... You've definitely got hemroids...
Kurt: OH GOD THE PAIN! I NEED CREAM! I NEED CREAM!


Carlito: *Rolls eyes back* Hahaha, did I look like Taker?
Rey: ....
Carlito: Well, do I look like the dumbass?
Rey: ....
Carlito: He's right behind me, isn't he...
*Rey nods*
Carlito: ... 'Das not cool...


Melina: RIP HIS LEGS APART!
Rey:
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Old 04-15-2005, 04:28 PM   #13
Gouda
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Ok, could someone explain to me the whole Stevie Richards being invisible thing?
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Old 04-15-2005, 05:11 PM   #14
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Eddie: Now I'm gonna try to stick my thumb up his butt, that'll really irritate him.


Chavo: This Viagra isn't working right.
---
Ehh I've done better.
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Old 04-15-2005, 05:41 PM   #15
loopydate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gouda
Ok, could someone explain to me the whole Stevie Richards being invisible thing?
It was before my time, but someone (Corky?) once explained it to me, so I'll try and relate it as best I can.

For a few weeks a couple of years back, there were a series of pictures where it looked like people were getting goosed, but there was no one doing the goosing. An "invisible man strikes again" gag developed from that. Then, one week, there was a picture where someone (Vicky?) had the "goosed" expression, but Stevie Richards was standing right behind her. Someone came up with a caption to the effect of "the invisible man reveals himself to be Stevie Richards," and the rest is captioning history.

If I fucked that story up, please feel free to shoot me in the ass. Wait, that didn't come off right.
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Old 04-15-2005, 05:49 PM   #16
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That and "Rhyno's glue tricks" always made me laugh.
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Old 04-15-2005, 07:26 PM   #17
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How did Rhyno's glue tricks come about?
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Old 04-15-2005, 07:33 PM   #18
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Rhynos are the #1 ingreeedint in glue.
---------------
Also the HHH crusifictions are good.
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Old 04-15-2005, 07:41 PM   #19
El Santo
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Nice recap loopy. You forgot to mention that the Stevie Richards and the Rhyno glue thing both came for the ever-brilliant captioner Lamuella. I think he always gave the captions incredible longetivity by coming up with series of captions that he always attributed to a specific wrestler:

- Benoit's levitation powers
- Chavo and his black hole field
- Teddy Long and his tendency to shoot people in the ass

and I think he also started the whole "You're a homo" thing.

Lammy's style has often been imitated, but never duplicated.
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Old 04-15-2005, 07:46 PM   #20
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Like the cream fillin

You're a homo was started by pictures like this:
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Old 04-15-2005, 09:29 PM   #21
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He called me a homo.
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Old 04-15-2005, 11:15 PM   #22
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There's a bomd in the middle of this ring. Can any one difuse it?

Can't let you do that Hiedenriech!

Andross has order us to take you down!

Nitro: Heidy long time no see!
Mercury: Androsses enemy is my enemy!

I'll give you a rep if you can tell me what thats from.
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Old 04-15-2005, 11:45 PM   #23
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ISn't Andross Star Fox?
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Old 04-16-2005, 03:34 AM   #24
Drakul
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Lylat Wars 64?
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Old 04-16-2005, 12:45 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopydate
It was before my time, but someone (Corky?) once explained it to me, so I'll try and relate it as best I can.

For a few weeks a couple of years back, there were a series of pictures where it looked like people were getting goosed, but there was no one doing the goosing. An "invisible man strikes again" gag developed from that. Then, one week, there was a picture where someone (Vicky?) had the "goosed" expression, but Stevie Richards was standing right behind her. Someone came up with a caption to the effect of "the invisible man reveals himself to be Stevie Richards," and the rest is captioning history.

If I fucked that story up, please feel free to shoot me in the ass. Wait, that didn't come off right.
That was one of many running gags started by Lamuella, the original God of Captioning. There were a few others too:

-Shoot this man in the ass
-The Invisible Hang-Glider/Jet-pack
-Chris Benoit being able to make people levitate
-Rhyno's gluing

"You're a Homo" was by someone earlier than that. I forget his name, but I remember he had "Cheeze Helmet" as his Title. He also made a bunch of really good Kane "dentist" gags.

I can vouch for starting maybe one running gag myself: God in the crowd.

[EDIT: whoops, Santo beat me to it]
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Old 04-16-2005, 12:54 PM   #26
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yeah star fox 64
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Old 04-16-2005, 01:36 PM   #27
Nark Order
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Just as Kidman starts to get the advantage, an angry Chavo blindsides him with his new Aging Laser.
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Old 04-16-2005, 01:45 PM   #28
loopydate
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The only running gag I can take credit for is the "Invisible Crucifix." Everything else I do is just a rip-off of someone else.

I kinda wish the "Time-Out Chair" thing had caught on, but there just aren't any pictures of people actually sitting in chairs anymore.
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Old 04-18-2005, 12:01 AM   #29
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The wwe writers decide that the only way for mnm to get over is for them to use old gimmicks so johnny nitro will become the second coming of rick rude and mercury will be playing a new and improved goldberg
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