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01-13-2004, 06:38 PM
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#1 |
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Guest
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Raw Captions 1/12/03
Well here they are:
                            
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01-13-2004, 06:42 PM
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Tedious Inevitability
Posts: 7,521
 
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Goldberg: "UH......OH" |
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01-13-2004, 07:04 PM
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#3 |
Posts: 18,357
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DOH! I was gonna start the topic but LC beat me to it!
To all you Lita-bashers, I bring to your attention that she's every Diva's bitch in the first three pictures. Now, onto the captions. In a break from kayfabe, Jazz was more than happy to help the old, decrepid redhead across the ring. It was bad enough Molly was kicking Lita's ass. Did she really have to pee on her as well? Jazz just couldn't resist the opportunity to pull a Stacy Kiebler. Stone Cold's chilling promo with Steven Richards last night pulled in an amazing 4.6 rating for the quarter. Well, I was gonna do what Tornado wrote, but since he beat me to it... It used to be that the term "got ass raped by Goldberg" was just a metaphor... Here we see Matt Hardy do what no one has ever done before: hold down Goldberg. RAW was stalled for half an hour after the cameraman decided to make faces at Goldberg... and Bill retaliated. The fans weren't sure how to react to this new Dave "Suck my nipple, BIOTCH!" Batista gimmick. Having completely buried Rhyno over on SmackDOWN!, Vince was more than willing to give D-Von his moveset. Unfortunately, the gore didn't turn out so well. OR Batista hadn't been this hot with someone's head between his crotch since that night over at Triple H's mansion... Bubba was just as puzzled as anyone to see that he'd suddenly turned into a centaur. The new improved Ortonbot version 2.0 so just as bad as its predecessor that eventually, it decided to just turn itself off. OR Later that night RAW was stalled for an additional 45 minutes when Randy Orton and the cameraman got into an intense "Simon Says" game. A final RAW delay of 14 hours commenced when, backstage, Goldberg and Steiner got into an argument over who was more repetitive and useless. OR Situation #182 of When NOT to Light a Match... The Coach's heel turn was going so bad he had to resort to the cheap heel heat of calling every single viewer at home a homo. OR Jerry was pissed off because he couldn't scream "PUPPIES!" during this occasion. JR was pissed off because he didn't know what move Coach was doing. Triple H, momentarily forgetting he wasn't at home, sat down and absentmindedly unzipped his pants and leaned back. Tension grew as the two both closed in on the candy microphone. At that precise moment, Kane realized he could have saved 15% by switching to Geico. Quickly facing a bad end, Booker T unleashed the ultimate counter to the Tombstone Piledriver and thanked his lucky stars he'd eated a seven layer bean and cheese burrito earlier in the day. In an effort to reclaim his career, Kane laid the sacrificial Booker T upon the Altar of Helmsley but was disappointed to learn that Trips had "been there" and "done that." Poor Jericho. He must have SERIOUSLY pissed off the boss to warrant having his side eaten out by a voracious Mark Henry. Chris wasn't so sure he liked where Mark Henry's right hand was, especially now, as his storyline with Trish was coming to a climax. Two minutes into the match, Henry got so tired and winded he had to take a ten minute break. Jericho, ever the patient guy, simply hopped onto a turnbuckle and sat waiting with him. The fact that he was jobbing to Mark Henry eventually got the better of him, and Chris couldn't help himself but sob out his pain. This reminds me of that joke where the blond saw a note that said, "Left town for vacation. Stay here till I get back." By the time Austin finally worked up the nerve to ask for directions on how to get to Texas, he'd already driven to Canada. Suddenly, the heavens opened up, and Rob Van Dam was rescued from his drudgery in midcard hell. Fan on the right: "Um, excuse me sir, my Ortonbot is leaking engine fluid..." RVD: "I... I could have gone to heaven! Why'd Orton have to trap me in a leg grip???" Ref: "Oh no, not under Triple H's watch you wouldn't have!" A little-known fact about Ortonbots: tasting their own engine fluid turns them into raving, vampiric choking machines. Kano Wins. FATALITY |
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01-13-2004, 07:39 PM
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#4 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Jazz was so happy that Lita had been putting on bad matches (thereby increasing the fans' anticipation for Jazz' return) that she just had to shake her hand. Molly hated when she stepped in sloppy wrestlers and had to use the turnbuckle to wipe them off her boots. Lita cemented her role as "The Female Rhyno" much to Jazz' chagrin. AUSTIN: Anybody who wants to see me keep talking to these magical pixies, gimme a hell yeah! KING: He showed up to work drunk again, didn't he? Bill's lifesize Matt Hardy doll wasn't coming together right. He squinted to read the instructions. Then he remembered. He can't read. Bill, believing all of the backstage urban legends about the Giant Sky Winch, holds up Matt Hardy in the hopes that it will take him instead of Bill. Bill's reaction after that bastard referee told him the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny. Batista took Triple H's "get in out of the cold, you could put an eye out with those things" joke seriously. The referee was ready. This would be his most difficult limbo run ever. Bubba was concerned. In birth, isn't the HEAD supposed to come out first? Randy Orton: Master Impressionist struck again with a spot-on Karnac. "Aramaic. Socrates. Triple H's sense of humility." "Name three things that have been dead for years." ANNOUNCER: Primitive man was unable to communicate through the elaborate method humankind has developed over the centuries. However, they had developed a way of getting thoughts across. Let's listen in on a sample. The Coach was pissed. He'd TOLD that cameraman to only shoot him from the right. It's his good side, dammit! We all knew Trips THOUGHT with his dick. Who knew he SPOKE with it, too? Shhhh... Quiet! The vase is going to say something! KANE: Nuh-uh! I saw what Hardcore Holly did to the Big Show on SmackDown. These things are dangerous, and I'm getting rid of them! Someone could hurt himself! Booker was grateful. That dick Triple H tried to drop him headfirst from the rafters again. Fortunately, Kane was there to catch him. Glen "Laser Nipples" Jacobs unveils yet another new gimmick. HENRY: Mmmm... Ribs... Y2J: Honest, Trips! I didn't publish those photos! I sweeeeAAAAAHHHH!!! Mark Henry was such a litterbug. He'd finish a meal, then just toss it over the top rope, leaving it for the crew to clean up. When hunting Mark Henrys, it's important to bring the proper equipment. Once you've distracted him with the glazed ham you left at ringside, you must capitalize quickly. Jericho didn't believe the hype about Henry being the World's Strongest Man until he kicked out of the Walls of Jericho, catapulting him into the 83rd row. TRISH: Oh, hi, Stevie. I was looking for Chris. Have you seen him? AUSTIN: I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a red snake wrapping itself around your neck. TRIPS: That's a scarf! ORTON: How drunk ARE you? VOICE ON BULLHORN: Stop! Hands in the air! RVD: I didn't do anything! VOB: Did you, or did you not, plan to beat a member of Evolution in a wrestling match? RVD: I did, but... VOB: You should know better than that. Book him, ref. Let's send him back to HeAt where he belongs. Orton learned a painful lesson that night. Never break up with Carrie on national television. REF: Who put you up to this? RVD: I swear I was working alone! REF: Who told you that it was okay to beat an Evolution member? RVD: It was all my idea! REF: Keep squeezing, Randy. I'll be right back. I hope when I return, you're feeling more co-operative. RVD: No! Don't leave me alone! RVD looked to the crowd in astonishment. His backup had arrived. Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Sabu. They were ALL there! And they were packin'! Taking an idea he got from "The Last Samurai," Randy tried to dishonor RVD by removing his topknot. |
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01-13-2004, 07:42 PM
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#5 |
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One Man Horror Show
Posts: 1,046
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Brilliant captions, Cork!
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01-13-2004, 07:43 PM
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#6 | |
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Guest
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Quote:
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01-13-2004, 07:45 PM
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#7 | |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Quote:
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01-13-2004, 07:56 PM
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#8 |
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The Enigma
Posts: 939
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SHAROOOOON! Teddy Long's new, improved "shoot him in the ass" crew now set their sights on Matt Hardy... or (if the next three captions suck) Matt: Pump handle. Goldberg: Puh? Matt: PUMP HANDLE. Goldberg: Puh. Matt: *sigh* Why'd I let Glenn talk me into taking over for him? Sadly, the first shot missed, so, under duress, Goldberg hoisted the nervous Hardy up for a second attempt from the rafters. That shot missed, as well. Shawn: *gasp* So you DO have eyes! Orton: Patty cake, patty cake, baker's-...oops. Yeah...first try...blech. |
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01-13-2004, 08:12 PM
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#9 |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Jazz screamed when she realized that Lita was a werewolf... Molly didn't appreciate Lita's teapot song. Thinking quickly, the cameraman at ringside gets conclusive proof that Jacky is a MAN! "So there I was, when my wife came in..." Goldberg was so helpful when Matt mention he had to scratch his ass in the middle of the match. I SACRIFICE THEE UNTO THE DARK GODS! GRANT ME THE KNOWLEDGE TO SMITE MY FOES--AND TIE MY SHOES! Being so successful in "Looney Toons," Goldberg tries out for the lead role in "Home Alone 18." The ref wanted to DQ Batista, but thanks to the femminist lobby, breast feeding was now a legal move in the WWe. Bubba does his best President Clinton impression "Heeeeeead shoulders knees and toes..." "Genetic Freak, eh? Is that why you're hung like a Tic-Tac?" Coach was drunk again... HHH smugly informed Coach that this was the closest he'd come to laying down to anyone... (Who wasn't a McMahon...) Shawn: That's not true, and I've got the footage to prove it. As punishment for asking for a title shot, Kane's character now entailed him talking to his friend, a talking chair. Booker T's only comfort was that his hairstyle would cushion the impact... ...Until a stray fart brought Kane to his knees. Attempts to create another "Genetic Freak" ended up with bad results. Henry: I SACRAFICE THEE TO THE... Jericho: Dude, it's been done. Henry: D'oh! Jericho struggled to get out of the way of the alien tractor beams. "How is this supposed to HELP my hemmoroids?" Trish sighed. If only she portrayed a character as believably as the door... Austin: These women's panties are so comfortable... Evolution: *silence* BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! Orton couldn't believe his eyes...Was this acontact high? or did RVD really become HE-MAN? Ref: Yup. I was afraid of that. That molar has got to come out! since WWE healthcare policy didn't cover anesthesia, Orton held RVD immobile while the ref removed the pesky tooth. Orton: Let me get your tonsils while I'm in here. |
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01-13-2004, 08:18 PM
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#10 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Oh boy, this is gonna be a long quote list.
Quote:
 To Krow: Thanks for using the "WWE Tutor a Wrestler" joke. At least I think you were.  
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01-13-2004, 08:19 PM
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#11 |
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The Next Great One н²
Posts: 18,684
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Randy Orton Couldn't help but return the favor to the driver honking his horn for Randy to get out of the way. The Writers didn't think Triple H was serious, when he told them his idea about sitting in the middle of the ring for the entire show to get ratings. Fans gathered around Randy in order to make him feel better after he stopped what he was doing, climbed over the guard rail, sat down and really thought about what he's actually doing here. |
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01-13-2004, 08:25 PM
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#12 | |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Quote:
I know I already said it, BTW, but great job this week. |
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01-13-2004, 08:32 PM
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#13 |
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Posts: 18,357
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Heh, thanks. I actually kinda thought mine were below par this week, but I guess you can never tell, LOL.
Updated my list up to what's been posted so far.
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01-13-2004, 08:45 PM
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#14 |
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FIT Challenge Slag People
Posts: 13,816
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Good choices.
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01-13-2004, 09:28 PM
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#15 |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Alright it's my first time, see how good I can do:
Jazz: oooooo your red hair so purdy Molly's new job as a chiropractor was met with little response Jazz, not letting the white man hold her down, became a chiropractor as well Seeing how Austin was never really gonna leave WWE, he had the WWE logo tattooed on himself Goldberg: "Think unsexy thoughts....think unsexy thoughts....think unsexy thoughts" Hardy jobbing? Not if God had anything to do with it Meow "D-VON! YOU CANT SEE ME!!!" Batista "The Dudley Killer" claims another victim Fearing the end of Naitch, the WWE logo and his cousin the WWE banner decide to even the odds "You are getting sleepy...very very sleepy...I have paid my dues...very sleepy" Goldberg: Puh Steiner: Nuh? Goldberg: Puh Steiner: Shuh For everytime King said puppies, Coach had to do a jig on the table. Nothing like good ol' hazing HBK: Hunter there's no I in team HHH: Yeah well there ain't no we either |
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01-13-2004, 09:37 PM
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#16 | |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Quote:
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01-13-2004, 09:57 PM
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#17 |
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Paragraphs killed Jesus.
Posts: 203
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Jazz is horrified as Lita suddenly turns into Snuffalufogus and stampedes the returning diva. Molly: "Didn't know I was double-jointed, did ya?" Oh that crazy Molly. Lita turns her head one second and what happens? Her hair gets tied to the turnbuckle... The crowd was stunned as Austin's private bout with narcolepsy had finally been exposed. Even Goldberg was feeling sorry for Matt. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could locate that promised push up his ass and pull out for him. Vince: "So Bill, how do you feel about jobbing to Zack Gowen next week?" Batista: "D-Von, I'll never let go...I'll never let...hey is that a quarter?" The look on Batista's face is funnier than anything I can come up with. lol Bubba tried to warn Batista of the quick sand, but the stupid newbie just wouldn't listen... Sammy Davis Orton made his long-awaited Raw debut to a less than enthusiastic response... As Steiner talked Goldberg debated whether or not to tell him about the huge leaf of lettuce stuck in his teeth... Coach may be getting his fun now, but JR and King knew the lava wave behind him was comin any day now... Triple H: "Ahhhh...14 seconds...that's a new record..." When Vince told them to "make love to the microphone" this is not what he had in mind... After being screwed by a 7 footer and havin the WWE logo slapped on his ass, the time keeper knew exactly what it was like to be Rey Misterio...and Ultimo Dragon...and Billy Kidman...and Spanky... Hebner was so shocked that he had to run out of the ring after Kane tombstoned Booker T and busted out his rendition of "Shake Your Groove Thing" Jericho extended the rope, but it was up to the logo to climb to safety. Jericho (in a high pitched voice): "No I'm OK, you're not squeezing too hard...ass!" Hebner never could resist the opportunity to give an atomic wedgie... Trish: "I don't have Attention Deficent Dis...ooh what a pretty shade of blue..." Batista: "Welcome to the House of Rugs, we have over 100,000 different kinds of rugs. What kind of rug would you like today?" Austin: "Rugs? I thought this was the House of Beer?" RVD (in background): "Dude...I thought you said the House of Drugs...what the hell is this I'm smokin?" Meanwhile Triple H and Orton are just pissed that the attention isn't focused on them.... RVD: "Rob...Van...uhhhhhh...." Chioda: "Dam, you f&#in stoner!" RVD: "Oh yeah...Rob...Van...Dude I'm so high!" As Orton bangs his head against the invisible wall out of boredom, he now knows what the crowd feels like during his promos... |
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01-13-2004, 09:58 PM
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#18 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Yay! It’s caption time! I cheer for joy! Cheers!
All jokes are considered original until proven stolen. Jazz had to prove she was the strongest WWE female wrestler by ripping off Lita’s arm and beating her with it. Molly Holly’s variation of the Pits would of worked better if Lita would have been facing Molly. But Jazz knows how to do it! Austin took it upon himself of telling the students that you shouldn’t get tattoos. He’ll be branded with the WWE logo for life now. This really confused Goldberg… a fourth move? Goldberg looked up at the titantron, relived. He was using one of his normal 3 moves. Seconds before this picture was taken, the firework that he placed deep in his rectum went off. Damn Raw Refs! There’s a match going on and all this zebra can do is call for the beer man! And this powerbomb is what D-Von gets for cutting a track on that new WWE Original album! Bubba just has to make a few minor adjustments until his Ass Cannon was set to “Table.” Randy: Hey, camera man, you have something on your eyebrow. Scott: Never park in Triple H’s parking spot… Goldberg: Why not? Scott: They’re sending me to Sunday night heat for a week. Well all knew that the Coach wasn’t the tallest guy on the roster, but did he have to get the platform shoes? With how much time he spends off, does he HAVE to sit down in the middle of the ring? Triple H and HBK sings a romantic duet for the fans in San Francisco and Palm Springs. |
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01-13-2004, 09:58 PM
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#19 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Kane: Where the hell did my shirt go? (lame….) Not to be outdone by Chris Jericho, Booker T introduces his newest move, The Booker Sault! First a ref orders a beer in mid match, and now Senior Ref Earl Hebner is late getting to the match? Mark Henry tries to destroy Chris Jericho’s face right after he heard “Don’t You Wish You Were Me” Jericho can only scream in pain as Mark Henry holds him up by the happy handle. Ref: Well Chris, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. Chris: Bad news first. Ref: You’re going to job to Mark Henry after you would of clearly won the match. Chris: And the good? Ref: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance! Jericho, damn well knowing he was going to do the Job, could only cry. As Trish realized that she was involved in a complex story line she thought “Why do I suddenly feel like a young girl from a primitive fishing village born with such innate musical genius as the world has never known who, on glorious morning, finds a harpsichord on the shore, and knows then that her life up until that moment has been a waste…” ---okay, I stole this one. http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040106 Drinking and driving can kill someone… Drinking and writing can kill a wrestler’s credibility. Sheriff Austin has done both. Ref: Quick Rob! Set up a diversion so I can hide the body! Rob: Look at me! Look at me! Come on everybody, look at me! Ref: I won’t be able to hide the body in time… A sure sign that ticket sales have gone down- Wrestlers who are in the match have to sit in the front row. Rob: You can take my push, but you can’t take my freeeeeeedooooom! Randy knew that WWE needed a well rounded wrestler, but singing “New York, New York” was not what everyone had in mind. Randy: I’m gonna win this match, and that’s the bottom line, ‘cause Triple H said so! Rob: Please kill me… |
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01-13-2004, 10:10 PM
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#20 | |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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Quote:
BWAHAHAHAHA 
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01-13-2004, 10:28 PM
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#21 |
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Guest
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Lita shows off the effects of what drinking 10 YJ Stingers consecuitively can do to one's arm. Austin, "HEY check this out, my thumb can move around in all directions. Are the cameras getting this." When someone in the crowd held up a mirror even Goldberg had to stop and wonder what the hell he was doing. One of the qualifications to become a follower of Mattitude is to do pushups while being held in midair. John Heidenreich makes his surprise return to Raw by introducing Goldberg to "Little Johnny" or Goldberg's reaction to seeing a corkscrewd moonsault preformed for the first time. Okay you know something's wrong when the writers decide to have thier booking meeting literally right in the middle of the show. Batista, "Hey, what should I do next?" Deevon, "Russian Neckbreaker" Batista, "Got ya" Batista, "Here we go" Deevon, "Neckbreaker dammit, Neckbreaker" Batista, "I only know this one." Professor Orton tried to probe the mind of Vince to try and find out where Sean O'Haire was, but all he kept getting was a voice yelling "Not Again Vince...Please don't make me sing Hunter's theme again.... I swear I won't get over..I swear." Goldberg, "Say, are we really suppossed to be getting paid in pink 50's." Steiner, "Your getting paid" In order to start giving fans what they want, Raw introduces a new segment where The Coach will call random viewers at home to decide the outcome of the match. And the booking meeting still hasn't adjourned after 45 minutes Kane was a little confused when HHH came out during the match wearing a Kane mask and holding a sign that read "Having fun yet" I'M thinking about Cork's caption right now and can't stop laughing. That was hillarious Jericho wasn't that worried when Henry said he was going to throw him to the outside of the ring, he was worried when he saw metal spikes rise from the floor Jericho, "No Mark, Please No" Mark, "I'm sorry, Vince's orders" Ref, "Oh jeez, his storyline must be getting over to well." Trish reads the "6 WWE COMMANDMENTS" posted before every Raw 1) Thall Shall Not have any other gods besides Vince McMahon 2) Thall Shall job to HHH 3) Thall Shall recieve a stunner when Austin feels like giving you one 4) Thall Shall not let thier popularity rise above that of HHH, Austin, or anybody named McMahon. 5) If from WCW, Thall Shall be buried, preferably by a slegehammer 6) Remember the day we killed Sean O'Haire's career, keep it holy. Austin, "So then I ran the red and rammmed right into him." Batista, "Who made him go outside in the dark and pick up garbage along the highway." HHH (to himself) "Oh was that me....Yeah I think that was me." HHH, "So did you call for help." Austin, "WHAT" Orton, "You left Richards there laying." HHH, "Richards better stop fooling around out there cause he's got a JOB to do." Last edited by Loose Cannon; 01-13-2004 at 11:30 PM. |
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01-13-2004, 10:52 PM
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#22 |
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Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Just when you thought it was safe to read captions, it happens!
STUPID NOOB STRIKES BACK! Lil Kim was a little TOO enthused about meeting Lita... Molly attempts her Kevin Nash Boot Choke Impression, but she has it backwards... Molly backs off when she realizes just how ugly Jazz REALLY IS... Austin: That's not how you shine my shoes, son. What are you stupid? Matt was depressed. Jobbing to Goldberg is one thing, but did he HAVE to wear the Triple H Logo on his pants? It's times like this that Matt wishes he never asked for a Raise... Goldberg: PANAMA! Batista turned to face the Referee, who was caught in his attempt to smack dat ass! Batista and D-Von: PIXIE TWINS POWER, ACTIVATE! D-Von: Form of... White guy with Chicken legs powerbombing an old guy Batista: Form of... Guy with a Table for a head! Orton forgot how to operate the Top Secret Gadget Phone. Scott shocked the Sports World when he fully explained the Infield Fly Rule... Finally, an announcer that we can ALL look up to. Hunter: Whoever wants a push has to meet me in the ring, right now... For some reason, McMahon booked a Three Way Dance between Triple H, HBK, and the Microphone. I guess H thought the Mic was getting too much air time. Kane thinks it's unfair: Triple H and HBK get to carry the Wagon, all he gets to carry is a chair... Everytime Booker T gets pushed, someone always comes along and drops him on his head. Kane looks at ringside. Is that Rhyno selling Popcorn? Nah... Mark Henry reveals that he's REALLY Kamala, the Ugandan Giant. Wrestling Cannibal and One Heckuva Bowler The Referee didn't want to play catch with Henry... Chris watches on in horror as Mark Henry is about to puke... You know, the urge to sneeze comes on at the worst of times... Trish: Oh Chris, you are so tall. But tell me, why are you so blue? Chris: Because I entered the dressing room 5 minutes ago. You're talking to wall again. I wonder if Nick LeShay (or however you spell his last name, it's not like I watch Newlyweds.) has this problem? Steve explains the The Law of Thermodynamics as Evolution just listen, enthralled in what is being said. Triple H has amazing powers, including the ability turn RVD's own hands against him. Orton: What are those bright things? They're so pretty!  Fan on the right: Um, they're called lights. RVD: Who taught this guy how to do a Figure Four? RVD: I see the Shire! Orton: I HATE LORD OF THE RINGS! RVD: I am one of the most over Guys in the company. Orton: Yeah? Well I got the support of Triple H. RVD: I'm ****ed! |
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01-13-2004, 11:39 PM
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#23 |
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I Hate Bottles
Posts: 4,362
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Gonna mix these up a lot, random ones are first. The ones toward the end all go together. It'll all make sense later
The new WWE Cartoon Era kicks off with Jazz beating Lita over the head with a giant stuffed chicken leg (you kinda have to squint your eyes to see what I'm talking about  ) Obviously in a tough spot, Matt Hardy tries to use his tongue to his advantage. HE LICKED ME!!! "How does the Rock do it? This eyebrow goes up, but the other one stays down." Steiner: "Show's over Bill, you don't have to be in character anymore." "What? Commercial is over already? I was just starting to sit down" "Nobody can beat Goro!!!" OK, from here down all go together. I spent a lot of time on this part (I know, it's sad) and it's pretty far down in the thread. I hope somebody reads and enjoys it anyway. HHH: So Austin, what are you going to do to make things intersting tonight as Co-GM... err, I mean, Sherriff. Austin: "WWE Party Games" Orton: "PARTY GAMES?!?!" Twister just isn't as easy when there's only one color. Narrarator: "Right foot, black" Lita, our reigning twister champion, gets frustrated as once again her opponent is given "right foot, black." The twister finals got very heated as the stakes were raised. Instead of three black spots in the corner, it has been narrowed down to one black spot in the middle of the ring. Competition was fierce as both competitors first move was "lower lip, black" Ref 1 takes the upper hand in the pin the tail on the superstar competition. Ref 2 eyes the competitors, he wanted to wait for just the right moment to pin the tail. He winds up..... and..... VICTORY IS HIS!!! Kane and Booker T were determined to win the "Tag Team: I Spy" portion of the show. Jericho and Henry realized that teamwork was the only way they could win as the ref announced "I spy a midcarder who went to the main event and wasn't buried." No matter how high Henry lifted Jericho, he just couldn't see what the ref was looking for. Henry and Jericho hang their heads in defeat as the ref reveals that it was a trick question. AND FINALLY.... In the main event, Orton retains the IC Title in the most hardcore game of musical chairs we've ever witnessed. |
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01-13-2004, 11:46 PM
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#24 |
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Posts: 18,357
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LOL, wow, everyone's been pretty darn good this round! Beers all around, boys!
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01-13-2004, 11:53 PM
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#25 |
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Taller than Adam Cole
Posts: 10,876
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Good to see that the Stupid Noob is finally improving...
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01-14-2004, 12:03 AM
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#26 |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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Turbo Lax....for fast, effective, relief [/Lloyd Christmas] |
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01-14-2004, 12:26 AM
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#27 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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If I had to give uberprops to everyone that has earned them, then they'd be worthless, 'cuz everyone is on fire this week.
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01-14-2004, 12:56 AM
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#28 |
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As over as Crystal Pepsi
Posts: 21,639
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The bad news…. WWE aren’t selling as many tickets. Mark Henry is getting a push. Steve Austin stole a quad… The good news, people will still buy the WWE foam hand. |
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01-14-2004, 01:04 AM
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#29 |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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I like the one about the rugs. LOL
Hell, all of them were grade A shit. Good luck trying to pick the best caption, Corkscrewed |
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01-14-2004, 08:18 AM
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#30 |
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Spammy Certified
Posts: 46,132
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See guys, I keep the beer up here. Orton was then fired for not landing in "Mick Foleys" seat |
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01-14-2004, 08:37 AM
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#31 |
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TPWW's OFFICIAL SNAKE
Posts: 6,968
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GO GO GADGET CHIN |
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01-14-2004, 11:49 AM
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#32 |
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RAPTURE READY.
Posts: 31,936
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Austin: hey guys, what's up? Evolution: hey you Austin: wanna head over to a party down the road? Loads of ladies and beer over there Orton: But, I have a match next Austin: Shut up! HHH: Will there be dancing monkeys at that party? Austin: Yes HHH: Oh, I'm SO there! Batista: What about kareoke? I love to sing Austin: Well then hop on, Elton! *Trips and Batista both hop on Austin's ATV to go to the party, leaving Orton just standing there* Orton: Uh guys... *Meanwhile, Flair is passed out in a coma somewhere* Much to Randy's disapproval, a bird with PMS decided to unload on him |
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01-14-2004, 04:16 PM
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#33 | |
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Posts: 18,357
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Quote:
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01-14-2004, 04:44 PM
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#34 |
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Indifferent
Posts: 31
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If you pause the tape, you can pinpoint the exact moment Goldberg realised he was no longer in WCW.... The news that Flair had "gone to take your mommas for a ride on Space Mountain fatboys WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" did not sit too well with Evolution... |
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01-14-2004, 05:59 PM
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#35 |
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Fighting round the world!
Posts: 30
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Three photos, one caption:
(Look at his hands)"SUCK IT!" Watcha Gonna Do When RussellMania Runs Wild On You, Mate?! 
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01-14-2004, 06:03 PM
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#36 | |
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Ron Paul 4 EVA
Posts: 152,467
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Quote:
That one made me acually laugh...Hard...
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01-14-2004, 07:27 PM
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#37 |
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Guest
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the best captions were from the 1/8 smackdown, the one with los guerreros and the bashams where theyre like "no you cant see it" and the two with paul heyman and chris benoit about the "how many fingers are behind my back"
YA |
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01-14-2004, 09:08 PM
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#38 |
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Guest
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Wow a lot of captioneers this week. Great stuff all around Fellas
Here are my Favorites for this week, Limit 1 per person Corkscrewed: In an effort to reclaim his career, Kane laid the sacrificial Booker T upon the Altar of Helmsley but was disappointed to learn that Trips had "been there" and "done that." loopydate: Booker was grateful. That dick Triple H tried to drop him headfirst from the rafters again. Fortunately, Kane was there to catch him. jbone829: Meow Good OL JG: As Orton bangs his head against the invisible wall out of boredom, he now knows what the crowd feels like during his promos... Always450: A sure sign that ticket sales have gone down- Wrestlers who are in the match have to sit in the front row. Vastardikai: RVD: Who taught this guy how to do a Figure Four? ketchupisyourfriend: "How does the Rock do it? This eyebrow goes up, but the other one stays down." Kane Knight: HHH smugly informed Coach that this was the closest he'd come to laying down to anyone... (Who wasn't a McMahon...) |
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01-14-2004, 09:19 PM
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#39 |
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Ezekiel 25:17
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... and that was the 63273rd time I drank beer. Now what in the hell does Intercontinental mean anyway? Steiner: Nice Beard Goldberg: Nice Hair Both: HOMO brought to you by the capitol letter H. Jericho takes the biggest, most worthless shit ever. Batista: So you really get paid for this huh? Stone Cold: Yup. HHH: WHAT! Not really a caption but look at the rack on the chick in white behind Orton. RVD found himself being attacked by Tatanka. |
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01-14-2004, 10:29 PM
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#40 | |
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Inno Knows.
Posts: 43,710
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Quote:
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Linear Mode
